in need of major motivation...

ive been gaining well on around 3000 cals per day which is still hard for me to take in that much food...but these days it seems as if it isn't enough.... so im guessing that i need to eat more but im becoming less and less motivated to eat so much food~probably because i eat three meals per day and snaks like a "normal" person would and dont look emacianted and pale like i used to when...well...didnt eat much at all.

i know im not at a normal weight yet and i probably dont look healthy yet and still need to gain...so i was wondering if anyone going through similar experiences has any tips on going with the eating and gaining??

anything helps~thanks.

Alright sweetie. First things first - stop comparing yourself to "normal" people. Ok? You are recovering from an eating disorder. This means your nutritional needs right now are going to be different. It doesn't mean anything. Yes, you might not look AS sick as you did a few months ago because you are eating more. That doesn't mean your body is healthy and safe. It means you have made progress and that your body is being receptive to what you are trying to do for yourself. Think of these small changes as your body's way of saying to you "Hey! You're doing something good for me! Keep it up, I like this!"

I have gone through those feelings many times, and am still dealing with it now. When I was eating 3600-4000 a day, I felt like I was eating for two. By lunch time, I'd taken in as much or more than what many people eat in a whole day. But you know what - it's what my body needed then. Even now, when Im pushing myself to gain a few more pounds as cushion for when I go back to school - I still feel like I eat SO much. But isn't freeing - to realize that you don't need to kill yourself anymore? To learn that yes, you can eat what you want and that it is perfectly okay? You don't want to go back to that emaciated shell, do you? No. Life is so much better when you actually can live and experience it for all that it's worth.

Don't let anorexia worm it's way back in now. You've come too far and have overcome so much. Just hang on and stay strong. I promise you, in a few days this rough patch will be behind you, and you will be feeling better than ever.

thank you rebel for replying with such support... yes ive been trying to not compare myself to the amount of food that "normal" people eat~ 

i had no idea how fast my metabolism was~~and now it seems like its going through the roof!! ive nearly stopped gaining at 3500 cals!!

seems like ill be needing more like 4500 to 5000 cals but im just too full througout the day~ any ideas on adding calories without much more bulk in food??      

thank you! :)       & nbsp;      &nbs p;     

I know how hard it is not to compare but everyone is different and you have to focus on you. Can you look at what in life you want to gain and what being underweight/ed has taken away? Also this is very hard but to recover and be fully healthy you have to accept a healthy weight for you. If you settle for just better you will still have some ed mindset and may have health issues as well. You can do this but maybe you need a plan to get started

JeeJee - I don't know where you're at weight-wise. I stopped gaining on 3600-4000 when I got up to around 105lbs. So I took a break from gaining for awhile since I was at a fairly safe weight (Read: not at risk for dying in my sleep anymore and it was my discharge weight from IP) It gave my metabolism a bit of time to sort of slow down a bit. Now I started gaining again and while I still need to eat a lot, its not quite as much. Also, I think taking that break, and giving myself that time to become more comfortable with my body and food actually helped a lot. I'm eating much more calorically dense foods than I used to so the sheer volume over all has decreased a bit and is making it easier to get in.

That may not be the best advice, but its worked well for me. If I had wanted to gain the last few pounds two months ago, I would have easily needed 5,000 calories a day to get them on. I know most people would say to just push on with it and get the calories up to that level and don't stop gaining till you meet the end goal. But I truly did not want to have to do that - I don't think I really could have gotten myself to eat that many calories, and even if I could have done it (I did do it in IP actually - 5K a day) - I knew in my heart that the idea of trying to maintain my weight after eating that much would be really daunting - I'd be weight restored and still having to spend 2/3 of my day eating! I didn't want that. So this is just what worked for me.