Need opinion from mature women--Will guys date me?

hi everyone:

i'm a teenager in high school (17) and i just need some mature and honest opinion about dating for over weight teens


I'm in my senior year, i'm Asian, 5'4, 140 pounds @@


will guys ever date me? my personality is not bad since i have tons of friends, but i've never been asked out as a date before......


i'm in the process of losing weight, but i just want some opinion about dating and weight


thanks!


--A confused and overwight teenager@@

Well, I'm neither mature nor a woman, but I suspect that the answer is, eventually, yes. Whoever you are, someone will find you irresistably attractive.

Of course, your question may be "When?" and I have no answers for you. I suggest you just keep being as awesome as you can be and someone will come along one day and ask you out.

LOl thanks for the reply

guys are welcomed too.....

do guys worry about being teased if they date someone my weight?

of course they will.  first, you're not really overweight.  second, guys are human beings.  if you're fun to be around, they will want to be around you.  the best advice is always to be your authentic self.  you could be a six-foot-tall supermodel, if you're not fun, honest, and real, no one will want to hang with you (they might want to do other things, but they won't truly like and value you).

Umm... as far as I can tell, you're in a healthy weight range. 5'4", 17, 140.. I'm getting a BMI of 24... that's healthy range. :)

So... I don't know what you're worried about? :) Hopefully you don't imagine you're fat, do you? 

Julst like hkellick said, one day your prince will come.  But you need to take some initiative and make yourself available.  Are you shy?  You don't sound that overweight to me.  I would also suggest keeping your expectations on the ground.  Like yourself, there are some real gems out there that no one has noticed.  A wonderful personality counts for a lot.  Once you hit college, try to join some social arena where you can meet people.  Be friendly and approachable and give everyone a chance.  Remember diamonds are usually embedded in rocks!  Good luck to you sweetie...

wow...fast replies! thanks everyone!

well, while i know about BMI and know that i'm not really really overweight....i am Asian and sometimes people expect/assume Asians to be all under 100 lbs....@@

while i wouldn't say i'm shy, i do understand why guys won't think of me as a date even if they do like me as a friend--school is important for me and you rarely see me partying unless it's birthday party or christmas , haha

I'm in the process of losing weight and starting to exercise....

i gained weight in Junior year because i was preparing for SAT and all those college app stuff, now that everything is over, i hope i can have more confidence and a better body heading into college =)

You don't sound out of sorts at all weight wise! It will all come together when you come across the right people!

 

 

My fiance would've loved to have you before he met me.  He has a thing for Asians, especially if they're curvy and have a rockin' personality but you're waaaaaaaaaaay too late for him. ;]

Some people get their first boyfriend when they're twelve, some when they're twenty.  I didn't go out on my first date until I was nineteen.

And I'm fatter than you. :D

About the only thing that will keep you from being asked out on a date is if you believe it will never happen. If you believe you are undatable or that no one would want to date that is what will happen. People can pick up on the vibe you're putting out. I know this from personal experience.

If you look around you'll see many much heavier women getting dates and having boyfriends. It isn't about your weight. It's about you and how you feel about yourself. Put a smile on your face, be friendly, make yourself available and believe in yourself. It will happen like magic.

Original Post by moonikins:

About the only thing that will keep you from being asked out on a date is if you believe it will never happen. If you believe you are undatable or that no one would want to date that is what will happen. People can pick up on the vibe you're putting out. I know this from personal experience.

If you look around you'll see many much heavier women getting dates and having boyfriends. It isn't about your weight. It's about you and how you feel about yourself. Put a smile on your face, be friendly, make yourself available and believe in yourself. It will happen like magic.

moonikins, you are the wisest, most awesome person on the planet!!! can i call y ou Yoda?

but she's totally right, wonderful. when i was in high school, there was this guy i was ridiculously crazy for. we shared a class together and i had a few friends in there so he got to see me be my awesome, great self. he and i quickly became friends and i could sense he was kinda getting into me. but i kinda put a kaibash (sp?) on the whole thing b/c he was a 6-foot something runner, and i was a sloppy fat girl. he was really trying to get me to open up to more than a friendship with him, but i kept him at a "safe" distance, b/c i thought he deserved better than me.

guys will, and i'm sure do, want to be your boyfriend. just make sure you're open to the possibility.

I can relate to you since I'm also Asian and yes, we are "expected" by a lot of dumb ppl that we should be under 100lb no matter what.

But you know what, the sexiest girl is the girl with confidence. You're only 17, and there's all sorts of wonderful things that will happen in your future. When you get into university, you'll explore another whole new world and your lovely personality will just make those guys go woot woot!!

Trust me, you're not fat. I know a lot of Asian fatter than you and you won't believe how popular they got just because of their personality.

(((((((((hug))))))))))))))

Thanks dalmalama.  I love Yoda. It was actually Star Wars and Yoda who got me thinking outside the box way back in 1977 about so many things. It's been a never ending spiritual journey. Something about the "Force" drew me in. It led me to ask many questions and set me on to self discovery. My journey hasn't always been pretty, but it's always been interesting. 

I am bigger than you and have NEVER had any struggle getting men, dates, losers, winners, etc.

I think it's all in your personality, confidence, attitude and just overall social life.

Good luck.  Don't rush it though.

thanks everyone!!!

i guess it's just not my time yet =)

Sweet girl...ask anyone past 25 and they'll tell you - they'd not EVER want to redo the years you're in.  You're doin' just fine right now.  There's a plan for you and for the lucky fella that'll find his way to you.  Be patient with yourself...and him...and the plan.

Yeah you'll be fine. I'm you, but shorter :P (5'0" at 121 lbs) and also Asian. Plenty of guys will appreciate you at your height/weight. You can also nab really hot guys even if you're overweight - a lot of it will be the confidence in which you carry yourself, your wit, and your personality.

Remember to run away from the creeps/losers.

Yes, there are probably thousands of guys around you right now who would love to date you! 

I've mostly hung out with guys my whole life...working in male dominated fields...have two brothers and no sisters.  I've listened to them in their searches for girlfriends.  Most of them are just looking for someone who is (believe it or not) "NICE".  They don't want a supermodel, they just want someone who is friendly and fun to hang out with.  This is the type of girl that becomes their girlfriend and wife.

 

I wasn't asked out on a date until my freshman year of college...and I weighed about 175 lbs then. What happened, you may ask? Well, we've been together for 26 years (married almost 24 yrs)! So, don't worry about it... especially since you're still in high school. The right guy will come along when you least expect it. :)

I was never asked out till I was 19 ... so I thought.  Some of my friends from high school assure me that there were a couple of guys who were apperently ALWAYS trying to get my attention/flirt with me.  Who knew?  I thought I was "on the chubby side" and was convinced that no one would ask me out so anytime a guy did talk to me I just assumed he wanted to be just friends ... and if I liked him I was TERRIFIED that he'd find out (and make fun of me and crush me rather than the more pleasant alternative of liking me back), so I'd try to make it super/extra/ultra clear that I was NOT interested.

You kind of have to be open to guys asking you out - able to put yourself out there and handle rejection if it comes.  But if you're not, don't fake it or push yourself.  You might not really be ready yourself yet, lots of people aren't in their teen years, it's just that some of their peers are so they think they're supposed to be.

okay I am 18 and this is what i think:

Ever since I started thinking about dating or guys in general I first looked at how I looked and was not happy with what I saw hence I started counting cals and trying to lose weight. Okay at that point I was frizzy hair, 5'4, 145 pound overweight 16 year old. I honestly thought that a guy would only date me if I looked a certain way. Well know I have a chi, still 5'4 but weight around 115. I still don't have a boyfriend. The point is that the way we are viewing how a relationship should work is all wrong. You should never date anyone depending on how they look and the same goes for any guy who might be interested in you. Keep up that great personality and you will find him. I'd say don't go looking for love because you will never find it. Love finds you and it will happen. However, negative thoughts about being overweight and "undateable" can keep you from a happy future with that mr. right.