need a quick slap in the face.(e.d.)

okay, logically, i know these things. but when i wake up and my dad starts mooing at me (no, not sure why, no, not helpful to someone whos trying to gain) it makes it hard to convince myself to go eat my, rather large, breakfast. tell me a 15.8 bmi is severely unhealthy. i am killing myself. my organs Will, not might, WILL shut down if i continue with this behavior. My condition IS serious, even if my parents have not expressed concern, does not mean that I am not unhealthy. Just because I still get my period doesn't mean that I am not malnourished. i just could use some honest, black-and-white, tough love... please...

Hey Jess- you sure do need to put on weight your too skinny! forget your dad making those sounds he probably doesn't realize that it makes it hard for you. my dad does stuff like that sometimes not because he wants to be mean, but becuase he's just a funny guy and for a normal girl it wouldn't bother them. remember if someone doesn't stay on top of you, like your parents, then you need to do it yourself. don't let it bother! just remember you need to eat and if you don't you'll die. hope this helps and isn't too .. tough ... but you wanted tough love.

it looks to me like youve got the slap in the face down! you know what to do and you know how to be healthy. (insert exact copy of everything you said) don't let his comments get to you, if he's anything like my dad (and it sounds like he is) he knows how important this is to you and how much you care about your health. by joking about it, he thinks he is taking a little pressure off of you and lightening the situation.

here's a website that goes through some of the health risks of being underweight. i'm sure you know what they are, but just in case you need a little reminder...

http://weightgain.lifetips.com/cat/61224/heal th-risks-of-being-underweight/

 

-SLAP-

Your father needs a serious slap in the face, too. My dad has definately been no help to my recovery. I think it's just hard for men to understand what we're going through, and they don't know how to comfort us. Mothers are better able to understand.

You need to tell your father that his cute farm animal noises are making it harder to recover. He may think that you think it's funny or something - whatever his intentions may be, unless he's terribly cold-hearted, I don't think he'd continue if you seriously told him how it made you feel. If this persists, I'd talk to your mother about it.

I know you can do this, girl. Part of recovery is becoming a more confident, outspoken person. We need to stop hiding and tell the world what we're all about!

Hey Jess.

You're doing GREAT! Tell your dad he's killing you, literally. If he's such a jokester, he'll get the point subtley (sp?). My dad is a jokester too, and I used to cry when I was a kid, but he'd say "It was just a joke!" (his way of sloughingresponsibilities for his actions). Anyway, I've learned to joke seriously with him, and I think it's helped both of us.

Anyhoo, about your eating......... You GO girl! Way to go about being conscious of your eating!!!!!!!!!  Try to make eating fun.... do you enjoy cooking? Invite friends over for dinner and a movie - eat popcorn. Or, go to the store and look for cheeses or meats that you don't normally eat.... Fondue is always fun... Realize your body is your friend, not your machine.

Hope that's helpful!

Okay Jess so you knew that I would post here ha! Anyway, I think that what your dad did with the mooing is awful, but I really do believe that normal eaters dont think about things like we do. My dad was looking at Americas Next Top Model the other day and he was like "skinny girls always win because they look better". He knew very well that I am trying to recover from an ED and that triggered me, but he didnt even realize what he said until my mom mentioned something to him. Although these things really suck it is something that I think we need to try to deal with too. I mean the other day I was at lunch with a friend and she was like "I am sooo going on a diet" and she knows Im trying to recover. Meanwhile I wanted to set my sandwich down and say "wtf no you dont" instead I said "please dont talk about diets around me" and she apoligized and felt really bad. But you see, I dont think that normal eaters think about these things. I mean they honestly just say what their mind is thinking at that exact moment. By no means does your dad think you are a pig, I am sure he was just trying to make you smile in a really weird way...

Well you know that I am here for you girlly....have a good night!!

- slaps with a tuna fish-

i rekon you should wake up real early tomorrow and go oink right back at him ;)
keep strong girl, ive been reading your posts and they're really motivating, i believe in you, we all do <3 x

Hey there Jessinca,

Don't let your dad's crude attempt at humor derail the excellent work you are doing.

Have you told him how hard it is for you to eat when he does that?

As an aside, I'm going to have to have a similar difficult conversation with my husband. He knows about my anorexia and that one of my triggers is the scale and knowing what I weigh. Well last week he told me he thought I was cured (ha) and that I should weigh myself.

You ladies who also struggle with our common dragon can imagine how that was. For the record, no I did NOT weigh myself but golly he needs to not say that again.

That's horrible! I can definitely relate though because back in the day (perhaps when I was in middle school) I was very thin but my dad would come up to me and push my stomach in and make some comment about how I should stay away from those cookies, then leave the room and I'd start crying at about that point. I have no idea why he would do that (apart from the fact that we now know he's mentally unstable but that's a whole other story), but it still kinda sticks with me today. What  I'm really trying to get at is that you need to tell your father that this bothers you otherwise he might keep on doing that, which could eventually destroy your self esteem.