I need real support, please help

Hi, my name is Laurie and I am almost 22 y/o female living in NJ, US.

I joined this site, back in June at 155 lbs hoping to lose 15 lbs before the holiday season hit and wanted to try to maintain that weight post holiday...

well, after my senior semester of college, being the most difficult yet i have managed to get off this site, after losing only 5-6 lbs and now weight 165....

being on this site, counting every little thing made me very stressed out even during summer time and i quit in hopes of doing it on my own... i really feel like im a slight binge eater, because i will eat multiple things in a row or just a lot of what i make or what i get at a restaurant or wherever.... now i am going to florida in early january in less than a month and i feel like absolute garbage and dont even want to go... i think if i can at least tone up a little before then and kickstart a weightloss then i will feel better but...

basically i have a gym membership but dont go, and i cant really cook and when i do its just simple pasta or nothing spectacular, but never really healthy.... i am really tired all the time, feel like i have no energy to do anything...

i need support and am really looking for some advice if anyone has been here before... i just cant believe in 2007 i literally put on 20-25 lbs and have never been this heavy in my life.... please help thanks for listening

I agree with a lot of what your saying.

I tried counting calories a couple times but I realized that it put WAY too much focus on FOOD! And it made me eat either WAY too much or way too little.

Also, with all of the bingers-ED's on the site it makes it very easy to over-diagnose ourselves. The most important thing is to Keep control. Know that you control what you put into your body and you have the control to stop yourself. If you can't maintain that control, then you may have a bingeing problem. Try it out. Stay concentrated on what your eating. I'm the type of person that can sit down, lose track and eat an entire container of peanut butter. But I don't necessarily binge because when I'm paying attention I can stop myself. I have that control that power. So my advice is stay motivated, stay in control and stay conscious!

And weight lifting is the fastest way to tone (doy) and throw in some cardio to burn fat. Remember. if you would have started when you thought about starting youd be done by now!!! Gets me to the gym everytime :)

good luck!!!

im not sure why it is thaat this site stressed you out so much, because all youhave to do is find the food you ate and log it...but thats not my business and thats not what you're asking. obviously you wont be able to lose a huge amount of weight before your vacation, but that shouldnt be the concern. also i think right before (what, 2-3 weeks?) a vacation is a bad time to start a diet. thats honestly just my personal opinion. but the reason i say that is when you go on vacation, you'll be kicking back, having a great time and relaxing, right? or you should be at least. THAT is when it will be stressful. what i would suggest doing is taking advantage of that gym membership NOW. whats holding you back? walk for a half hour a day on the treadmill. at least its something! the next thing to do is take a look at what you eat. fried food? fatty meat? chips? white bread? lots of sugar? because those are all the things you need to get rid of. and any serious dieter on this site will tell you, pasta really isnt all that great. for such a tiny amount, it packs in ALOT of calories. focus on portion control too.

when i was overweight and was ready to make lifestyle changes, the first thing i did was changed the way i ate. i cut out fast food, fried food, red meat, and white bread. i dropped 10 lbs in a month. then i started working out 3-4 times a week. then i focused on portion control. dont worry about losing weight or starting a strict diet before your vacation, it will only lead to you "breaking" the diet on vacation, then you getting discouraged and giving up. use your gym membership, cut out bad stuff, and try to eat normal portions (i mean REAL normal...as in, 3 oz lean meat, 1/4 cup rice, etc. not what LOOKS ok). then, have a blast on vacation and dont think about it. when you come back from vaycay, THEN be strict and set goals for summer!

 

hope i helped... 

youhearttime, the poor woman is asking for help ... not your weightloss story and certainly not your putdowns. Laurie, sweetheart, dieting is a fragile issue and being overweight is no easy thing to deal with. The diet part.. i got you covered, I am currently working on a recipe book with healthy meals that contain 300-500 calories per meal. The meals are of a 20% Fat, 40% Protein, and %40 carbohydrate matrix and this helps stimulate the metabolism and maintain healthy energy levels. Since a cookbook is way to much to post on this forum I invite you to send me an e-mail  and I will type up for you 20 recipes that will help you get on your way to success. As for the exercise, it is not so important that you utilize your gym membership. I say this because many gyms do not offer the type of activities most people enjoy doing. If it is walking around a lake or riding a bike that you like to do than make a habit of making yourself happy! Exercise is not to be a burden, it is supposed to be enjoyable. Find a friend or group online or in your local newspaper that participates in the kinds of physical activities you enjoy and go join them. You will meet new friends and meeting new friends also help with the mental and emotional aspects that are necessary for the enjoyment of exercise. Like i said, send me an e-mail .... ill be your friend :)

since you did not post your height we have no idea if you are underweight, normal, overweight or obese.  but also look at it this way- yes, you have a right to value your views on what you should weigh (anorexic look or African standards of "well padded to western standards" beauties)and it is none of anyone's business what you are trying to achieve.  If you are looking for some one who is attracted to your inner beauty-you should not stress out ( for that matter some Muslim women are convinced a burka will attract the ideal mate, weird like as if in a world of arranged marriages, you would not be look upon with suspicion worthy of a used car from any parent who cares about their son's happiness.)  That aside, remember you are young and pray to all of youth's insecurities ( just look at older peoples complete obliviousness of their unattractive, unhealthy over weightess  ( by the way I'm one )).  So decide what you really want (it may change in the next hour but convincie yourself you are mature and not a flighty innocent, naive, gullible (etc)4 year old ( people say that to themselves ALL their lives). Decide on various options-enjoy yourself with out fussing because you  are not out to catch a goodlooking pleasure for the night, enjoy a different headspace giving you a break form you student life, etc. Do not add extra stress on top of a student life that is already stressing you enough you are asking for help here.  Any option that helps steady you right now should be welcomed. Remember you  have 80 plus years of life to correct ,adjust and find happiness in.  EVERYONE makes mistakes - you still have-at least 60 years to find perfect happiness.  Seriously you might as well start thinking about food habit's that are good for you now -great if it makes you feel better by your vacation where you may find it an occasion to try new foods.

I have a couple ideas for you - hope they help.

 First of all, don't get too attached to that really big goal - losing a lot of weight in a short period of time is not good for you, and really tough.  Just losing 5 pounds by New Year's Eve would be really amazing.  If you have something that just about fits you now, it could fit you perfectly by then.  I'm not sure if you're into dressing up or not, but sometimes I find the thrill of outfit planning (accessories, shoes, makeup, jewellery - focus on that stuff) makes me take my mind off dieting and getting so obsessed - and then convinced of failure - that I just get discouraged and into worse habits.

 Secondly, even if you don't cook there are lots of healthy things you can pick up at the grocery store and just sort of throw together, and even if you tend to overeat, they're so low-fat they won't do too much harm.  Fresh fruit is pretty easy - if you chop it up AS SOON AS you get home from the store you'll be more likely to eat it when you don't want the hassle of preparing anything.  You can also get pre-washed salad greens, just add low-cal salad dressing, and maybe some low-fat feta cheese or something for protein, instant meal.  Plain rice cakes and salsa are also a pretty good fake nachos. 

Also, something that kind of motivates me is  a little competition or game, ie, drink one large glass of water every hour, on the hour, during the work day (I put a few drops of lemon or lime in too). 

 

thank you for all of the responses...

i am 5'9 1/2" by the way-- so many people would say im at a generally healthy weight, but to be 145 in january and then 165 in december makes me feel extremely sluggish and unmotivated...

jason, thanks for ur offer~ unfortunately i am a terrible cook! i used to think i was ok, because i can make a few things ok, but whenever i cook for myself i end up eating the entire i dish i make cuz its usually overportioned...

i do need a gym buddy.. is anyone aware of a site or anything that offers local people? or has having a buddy on here really worked for anyone?

i dont get much support from home-- i live with two guys who both think a good meal is the chicken sandwich instead of a whopper at burger king... UGH!

Hi there,

 I just wanted to add that if you live near a Costco, they have TONS of already pre-washed ready-to-eat veggies and fruit that you can toss over salad mix and voilla! a healthy yummy meal with VERY little effort. :)

 Good luck on your goals!! 

Laurie, I can SO relate to what you're going through.  It's only in the last year that I've really gotten control of my diet and exercise, and I'm where you are now, but I'm a LOT shorter! 

Make one change at a time.  Trying to do it all at once will probably be overwhelming, so make a change for your excercise or diet, adjust to that, and then move on to something else.

Here are some things that helped me. First, start using that gym membership. Decide how many days a week, and which days, you will go to the gym, and do it.  No matter how much you don't want to when the time comes, tell yourself you will go for 10 minutes, and if after 10 minutes, if you still don't want to, then you have your own permission to go home.  That way, if you really ARE too tired, or starting to get sick, or something, you don't overdo it.  But 99% of the time, you'll stay, and be glad you did.  Working up a bit of a sweat does a world of good for how you feel, physically and mentally.  It's amazing how that little 10 minute permission helped me get over the hurdle into regular attendance. 

Food -- I, too, am a lousy cook, and I HATE cooking in the evening.  I have a very long commute (2 hours door to door each way) and the last thing I want to when I get home is cook.  So I started planning and buying for NON-COOKED evening meals.  It's surprising how much raw, healthy food you can find to satisfy you, and most of it low calorie.  Fresh fruits and vegetables.  Venture into kinds you don't usually eat.  Dried fruits.  Nuts.  Yogurt.  A bit of cheese or some type of fruit or veggie dip.  (Not necessarily so healthy or low calorie, but you need some indulgences now and then, and ONE SERVING is not anything to worry about.)  A tomato and fresh mozzarella sandwich.  A peanutbutter and elly (sugar-free) sandwich.  Cottage cheese.  Applesauce.  And some things you can just throw into the microwave, like canned veggies or soup (but watch for low sodium ones).  Sometimes, I even have cold cereal and milk for dinner!

For me, the thing was to just decide  that as a general rule, I'M NOT COOKING.  It opened a whole realm of food that I simply didn't eat before.   Your problem isn't that you hate cooking, and some day when you have more time and less stress, you can tackle learning better cooking.  But if that's a lot to handle now, then relieve yourself of the "what can I cook" delemma every night by letting yourself off the hook and NOT cooking.   

Here are a couple of quick tips that might help you get back on track:

1) Make sure you are eating breakfast. It is so important that you "wake up" your metabolism in the morning. Eat high-fiber foods like oatmeal, fruit and fiber-rich cereals. In addition to getting your metabolism going, you will fill up more quickly at lunch.

2) Eat plenty of fruits and raw vegetables. Start your meals with a nice big salad (go easy or hold off on the non-vegetables like cheese, meat, etc.) with a fat-free dressing. Eat it slowly and drink plenty of water with it. You'll get mostly full with virtually no calorie intake. Then you can balance your meal with anything you want.

3) Snack on fruit. Plan to eat a piece of your favorite fruit between breakfast and lunch, lunch and dinner and dinner and bedtime. It will help keep you full. I was told once and I believe it now ... that the more fruit you eat the more your body will want. I used to be addicted to caramel. Now I don't think about it, but I can't get enough bananas.

All of these things should also help your energy problems, too. Once you start to see a few pounds come off and your energy level pick up, you will find the motivation you need to get back in the gym.

Good luck! You deserve to be happy.

Laurie16,  I truly understand how this can stress you out... it seems that you have to stay focused on food. 

I do have a couple of suggestions:

1.  Find a way to make exercising a little more entertaining.  We seem to do what we enjoy. 

2.  The new weight watcher zero point soups from Progressive are an excellent choice to limiting the caloric intake and satisftying the appetite. 

3.  There are days I do not have time to log everything at the time of eating, so I tend to keep a mental check of the caloric intake and then log it when I get a chance. 

4.  Do not beat yourself up if you slip at this meal.. lower the caloric intake on the next meal - or if you totally have a bad eating day... so what... dont make it a habit....

Good luck...