I really need someone to talk to

Delete please

Hi Aggatho,

 I can hear the pain and panic in your post.  I'm wondering if you've ever been assessed for an eating disorder?  It sounds like maybe this is a bigger issue than just motivation or fixing your metabolism.  I have been there and felt the panic at the thought of gaining weight, the desperation to lose weight and the constant calorie obsession that goes with it.  If you have not sought help for this, I would highly encourage you to do so.  This is wrecking havoc on your physical and emotional health.  Please consider getting help from someone experienced in treating eating disorders.  If I can be an encourager along the way, I'm here!

 

Aggatho,

I'm sorry to say I've never been in your particular position, but I hope I can help a little anyways. And I don't think you've posted in the wrong spot at all!

I'm a big over-eater myself, and have skyrocketed up to 218 pounds. I'm just sitting there, thank God, and now I'm trying to make a concious effort to get back down to where I am happy again.

So I think this is where we might be similar. What is going to make us happy? You have set your goals, but are they realistc goals? I'm not sure because I don't know your stats and stuff, but you have to go easier on yourself. You sound like you have GREAT determination, and your attitude has changed dramatically towards a healthier lifestyle, and I am proud of you. Now you need to step away from that damn scale, and just let that attitude guide you a little farther. Keep eating honey, you need that sustenance to be healthy, and to stabilize your mind so you can find your happy spot. And keep working your body, althought I don't think you need to do so as often as you are. Don't over-stress your body; listen to what it tells you, when its tired and when its hungry.

Keep loving yourself; look in that mirror and see the determined, strong willed, beautiful woman you are, and see the healthier woman you are becoming. Your muscles and health are going to weigh more, but weight isn't always the best signpost to happiness.

I barely know you at all, yet I love you already and feel for you. You be careful on your bumpy path, and keep in mind what I said. I barely know you, yet I already know you can do this!

You're in my thoughts,

Lori

I do understand what you're saying and wanted to offer some support.  I made the same mistake for years.  Last year I consulted a nutritionist who put me on a 2000 calorie diet, warning me that I'd gain some weight, but that it would level off.

The whole process took 3 months.  I gained 8 pounds before it leveled off after 9 weeks.  Once I had a stabile weight for a few weeks, she begain cutting calories, 100 a day each week, until I started losing again. 

I can now lose at a calorie level 300 more than I did before.  My maintenance level is also higher now. 

There's a very clear explanation in the CC+ Library Q&A section.  It says:

In order to get the daily food servings you need for a balanced diet, it takes about 1200 calories a day. With careful planning, you could have a balanced diet on 1000 calories, but the restrictiveness of a very low calorie level can lead to binging and weight cycling, which will take you further from your weight loss goal. What's more, very low calorie diets can cause excessive muscle breakdown and metabolic adaptations, which can drive down your calorie requirements. In the end, you'll need fewer calories to maintain a higher weight.

Hi

Asking for help if the first huge step, and whilst you sound desperate, I know that you must feel some relief also...just by sharing your thoughts. All of us have our own individual demons that have led us to be here on this site, but we all want the same thing...to be happy. I don't actually know what weight is my goal because I don't want to 'monitor' it, I want to 'feel' it.

I think you should do some relaxation exercises (whatever floats your boat, meditation, praying, yoga, walking the dog). Try and step outside of yourself and talk to yourself as if you were a stranger. What advice would you give? What compliments would you pay? I don't mean to sound like a hippy, but give it a go :-) Basically, try and stop fixating on the food and concentrate on who you are, what you feel and where you want be emotionally.

You've had some lovely posts to your thread, us humans can be so warm and giving, so take heart from all of us.

Big hugs xxx

first let me say im recovering from an ED myself-ive been in recovery over 6 weeks now. in the first week alone i gained 15 lbs. it was horrible! my stomach stuck out and my legs swelled up. 6 weeks later i still am dealing with a lot of it. but you know what? most of it is water weight.

knowing i am coming from the same place as you dont be offended when i say youre not eating enough. i believe youre 5'5" (?) and are very active from what you posted. 1230 calories isnt a maintenance level. what happens is your body thinks its starving and that food will be limited soon. so its stocking up as much as it can, even water, for the 'famine' months it sees ahead. perhaps you should try upping the cals by adding nutrient rich foods like fruits and veggies, lean proteins etc. if its too hard to jump up in cals right away then add slowly. chances are, the fake weight you gained will start to go away. BUT it might take about 3 months for your body to even out...as i am finding myself. good luck

 

i have also been doing ashtanga yoga for a week and have been seeing great results :)

Thank you all for your advice and all your kind words!
I really just want to hug all of you, so here *HUGS*.

I feel a lot better now, I think I'm getting used to eating so much and so often, even though I don't really feel hungry...
I'm going to try to avoid the scale and just relax :)

Now I know if I ever need anyone to talk to, you guys are here for me.
It really helps just knowing that!

Thank you so much :)

I feel you on this as well.. i had a problem of just starving my self to lose weight if u ever need anyone to talk to u can message me.. we all need support.