I need some support and encouragement

I have been losing weight slow. There has been some plateaus here and there over my journey. But I have been losing and maintaining. At least not going up.

But lately, I've been slipping further and further. I don't know why.

Well, maybe I do know why.

I've been cheating here and there. I count the calories in my head, but don't track/write them down.

I also know I need to be more active. Just last week I started a pilates class. But before then, I was doing nothing. Just walking very once in a while as leisure.

I am really sad because for the first time in a while of losing, or at least maintaining... I saw a gain 

It feels like a blow to my stomach. I feel very disappointed in myself.

<sigh> I feel like crying.

At least you know why you gained a bit so you know what you have to do to get started again.  And you have lost before so you know that you can do it again.

I think a lot of us here know what it is like to feel like you have been making progress and then slip back a little bit, it's discouraginng and it's hard to feel motivated. 

The best thing is that you are already taking steps to make some new habits to help yourself, the pilates class is a great start,  you've recognized you need more excercise, and you also know that you might also need to start actually writing your calories down too. 

I don't know if it applies for you but I recently plateaued too and realized I needed to start measuring my food out again for awhile because I had a bad case of portion creep.

Wishing you the best

Hey, you will make it to your goal weight someday. Just don't keep that goal date too long. I take only 30 or 40-minute walk leisurely 3 times per week, 1 Pilate, and 2 low impact cardio classes. I am losing weight about 2 lbs per week. I hit plateau at least once per month. You will get where you want to go eventually. Just keep with what you are doing right now and add a little bit in when you feel like to. We are here for you.

Sounds like you are doing 2 things wrong.  First, you are taking something very small, and letting it cloud all the very good.  Keep in mind, your body wishes to achieve equilibrium at every turn.  Setbacks are always a part of making a change like this.  The key to minimizing those, is to take an organized, and varied approach, in an effort to trick your body.  Stay focused, stay organized, and stay flexible, in your approach, and you will meet your goals.

Thank you for the good advise and encouraging words. I feel better today.

I'd add to the other excellent suggestions.... weight is not the only measure of success..  When you adopt a healthier lifestyle rather than 'go on a diet' there are many measurable benefits.  More energy, clearer skin, better moods, reduced risk of diseases.  People who count calories to get thin will cheat because they're having a miserable time.  People who focus on how enjoyable and rewarding a healthy lifestyle is don't cheat because they're having fun.  And they also understand that the occasional not-so-healthy food or a day when they don't exercise is a valid part of a healthy lifestyle.

So maybe reset the bar slightly.  Aim for the healthier lifestyle and leave dieting behind.