Need Support, Feeling Down, not feeling " slim" any more

Hey every one

I am feeling down about my body and need a little support

I am 5 feet 4 inches, or 166 cm tall and weight 50 - 52 kilo grams, or about 112 pounds.

I am naturally slim with curves ( mainly boobs and a butt, not hippy)

Problem is, I can easily drop a little bellow this weight without starving myself and be healthy

Being thinner is realistic for my body type ( not SCARILY skinny) I am talking about a LITTLE thinner, 110 pounds or so

I feel okay about my body providing I stretch and keep active and eat right BUT…

I feel as though many teens and young women would look at me and think my weight was big, or undesirable.

I have taken time off from working out at the gym, but I eat healthy and do not eat refined table sugar and eat very well so have maintained my figure, and I stretch and do a little abdominal work each day and walk each day, just not doing pump and resistance and running like I used to

I have lost my fitness and feel tempted to go back to my skinnier weight, and so many people on this site seam to be my height and thinner and I feel like these people would view me as “ normal” and “ not thin” when I THOUGHT my weight WAS slim, and took pride in looking slim and healthy, yet now I feel so HUGE compared to so many people.

Like, I know there are tall skinny small breasted women out there but being thinner then me seams common and normal these days!

WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK?

Does my weight and body sound healthy to you, truthfully, or would you look at some one my height and weight and prefer a slimmer build and NOT find me slim?

I Want to feel slim and healthy again so need a little reassurance, all I have read lately is teens on this site who are way smaller then me and people who like thin celebritiesL

I’m 21, 22 I January by the way, so not a teen.

I would consider you slim, most girls I know that are your height weigh around 130+ so you are probably under average.

The reason some girls on CC are alot skinnier than you is that they are recovering from ED"S! They know that they are too skinny and are trying to get to a more normal weight for serious health reasons!

Besides you should not compare yourself to others ( I know it's hard, I do it too but that doesn't make it right!) everybody has a different body make-up so, your natural weight could be 30 lbs lower than somebody else of the same height.

Comparing your body to that of somebody with an ED is just setting yourself up for failure!!!

But, it would not hurt for you to start exercising again as that will help tone you up and make you look even more fabulous at your current weight!! :)

If you're feeling insecure or unattractive and you're very slim... and a BMI of 19.22 is borderline underweight.... then your problem is not your body-weight, it's your self-esteem and confidence.   If you have those, you have the world at your feet and you don't give a monkey's what anyone else thinks of you or how big other people are. 

It's time to start finding your confidence in other places than the bathroom scales or the gym.  You're not a child or a teenager or a silly celeb with a studio forcing them to be underweight for the cameras, you're a healthy, normal-sized young woman... and that has so many advantages if you play your cards right.  You're in your prime.

What's 'desirable' ultimately?  Personality, character, a ready smile, intelligence, kindness, self-assurance, a sense of purpose.....  Best of luck

aw hun! I thought we talked about this and you were fine with your weight. You ARE naturaly slim, its just lack of self confidence. It happened to me when I was a bit heavier too though I was still very slim (115 for 5'4'' is slim). If exercising helps boost your confidence, then why not take on a bit of more exercise?? Dont stick to something that will make you not appreciate what you have. A lot of women want to be like you and have your weight and maintain it so easily....I never noticed how lucky I was to eat and eat and never think about calories and still maintain 115 without a problem in the world. I am like you! anywhere above 110 makes my boobs look huge!!! lol but they're just big on me, not really huge at all...so I know how you feel in that department as I too hate big boobs on me...but I cant control that, so I just have to learn to accept myself. Since my ED though they've shrunk :/ lol and my ass has gotten bigger hahaa something that was the total opposite before...either way!

the point is...you are slim. you may not see it but you really are....so you should worrry about anything else...I bet that its just not being tone anymore that bothers you...so try doing a bit of more exercise and find your happy medium.

take care!

(I messaged you back btw)

-xo

Aww your not fat. I didnt look at any pics but I can assure you that you are slim and im sure you are fit. I am 22 5'2 at 140. I have boobs and butt and thighs also. My ideal weight is 125-130. I think I lose my butt then but I still have thighs and boobs. Your lucky if your down to 110. I wouldnt go any less than that though.

I have almost identical stats to you and am in your age range (25). I too used to work out like 4-5 times per week and am now trying to get back into the swing of things.

I feel like you do a lot of the time. I know that being 5'4 and 110 is thin, however, I do not (a lot of the time) feel that way. It is sort of like a mental game. I consider myself an average size, but if you really think about it, we are on the smaller size of average. I have to separate my thoughts from the reality of the situation. I cannot realistically think, "my gosh I am fat" and honestly believe it. I might think it sometimes, but if I were to think about it sensibily, I would know that being a size 2 no matter what your height does not make you fat.

Please do not let those negative untrue thoughts become truth to you. That is how things such as eating disorders creep in before you even realize it. You just have to know that you are a good size, you are thin, and you do not need to change.

Maggie

i feel the same way! i am 5'6 and somewhere between 113-115. ive gained about 7 pounds since recovering, and even still people still tell me im too skinny. (i do NOT even feel skinny anymore) but then i look at other girls who are tinier (i dont consider myself tiny whatsoever, and never have- im athletic) i think - why are they allowed to be so small and when im 109-110 pounds, all i get is flack from friends and family? it is obviously because i didnt get to that weight in a healthy way, and because it probably isnt a natural weight for me, as it is for them. but i still can't help feeling like because of people like them, it should be okay for me to want to be skinner. sometimes i KNOW its all in my head -- i'll look in the mirror and feel like i look like how i did when i was 10-20lbs heavier, even though my jeans have gone down 2-3 sizes, so like they said above, i logically know its not true, but it doesnt change what i see.

i think ive gotten way off topic.. BUT, really and honestly, if you're above 5'0, there is no way 112-110 is anything but thin. in fact, 125 seems to be the magic number for most girls. unless you have literally zero muscle and its all body fat, you must be fit and slender. and you sound incredibly healthy, so dont worry! 

Sorry sweetie, but it sounds like your just fishing for compliments.  You know good and well that you are normal-underweight.  You truly sound like you have a disorder by reading your post.   5'4" and 112lbs and your saying that doesn't make you feel thin enough?  It's posts like this that make young girls feel inadequate and down.  YOUR the one causing others to feel this way.  You should be ashamed of yourself for acting like this, if it's unintentional and you really believe what your saying here, then you should go see a shrink because you've got some major issues!

If you think you look "big" at 5'4" and 112lbs then you must just dislike yourself in general, it's not your weight, precious.

Original Post by denlishen:

Sorry sweetie, but it sounds like your just fishing for compliments.  You know good and well that you are normal-underweight.  You truly sound like you have a disorder by reading your post.   5'4" and 112lbs and your saying that doesn't make you feel thin enough?  It's posts like this that make young girls feel inadequate and down.  YOUR the one causing others to feel this way.  You should be ashamed of yourself for acting like this, if it's unintentional and you really believe what your saying here, then you should go see a shrink because you've got some major issues!

If you think you look "big" at 5'4" and 112lbs then you must just dislike yourself in general, it's not your weight, precious.

 

 

woah denlishen, back off a bit wont you? This girl had a past issue with an ED. There is absolutely no need to try and bring her down. If she came here it was not only to fish for compliments. She came here for support, and if you're not willing to give that to her, dont even bother to comment. People like you are the ones that should be ashamed for coming here and being that rude in the first place.

"go see a shrink because you've got major issues!"

that was nice of you.

Obviously she does have body image issues, she doesnt do this to purposely make girls feel like crap. Why would she do that? That doesnt even feel logical to me.

also you know nothing about this girl and what she's been through. So you have no idea and no right to come here and try and make her feel responsible for making other girls feel bad about themselves. They've got to have evne bigger issues to even take this as a way to bring them down.

personaltrainer, dont worry about harsh comments. you know you are slim and you look great and you are healthy. thast all you need to know.

Hey,

This is a public forum so I accept and expect these kind of responses, but I do not care what people who do not know me think

I definitely don’t feel ashamed of myself because I have over come anorexia and a binge eating disorder, and have learnt to appreciate my body and view myself as what I am, slim; I just have bad days like the rest of you

I have hit a chord with you because you obviously felt that I was calling my self fat, and therefore making other people with higher BMI’s then me feel crap about their bodies; I NEVER SAID I WAS BIG, I never said I FELT BIG, I simply said I did not feel as slim and toned as usual

I know what I feel, and I was not fishing for compliments, I KNOW I am slim, I NEVER SAID I was “ big”, MY POINT was that even “ slim” girls have days where they do not feel attractive, which is why I came here asking for support when I was having such a day.

Slim girls are aloud to have “ yuck” days too, and if it makes people who are heavier feel bad, then it is not our problem.

After living through eating disorders I would never set out to make any one feel bad about themselves

As a slim person, I am entitled to come on here and seek support one a “ bad day” just like every one else.

Thanks bananee for your support!

You are very kind, and I feel comforted that you can relate to my struggles and know that I would never set out to make any one feel bad about their bodies, it is the last thing I would want to do!

It actually makes me VERY mad when I hear girls who are smaller then me say they feel fat, I think it is a disgusting thing to say out loud because it is so inconsiderate

A lot of people with eating disorders also think they are big when they are skinny but unlike some insensitive girls, these girls DO NOT say it out loud because they know how bad it feels when a thin person complains about their weight in front of people that are bigger then them!

I just want to make it clear that DID NOT say I thought I was ‘’big’’

You should try reading your original post again.  It didn't say you were down because other people were richer, more successful or cleverer than you.  It said you were down about your body, that being thinner would be 'realistic', you were worried that other people thought you were 'big', that they would 'prefer a slimmer build' and you how you feel 'HUGE'....

If it makes you  "VERY mad when I hear girls who are smaller then me say they feel fat", why should it surprise you that anyone reacted negatively to you doing exactly the same thing?  You didn't say 'I think I am big' in exactly those words but that's what anyone reading your post took away from it. 

Support comes in many forms.... not always the one you necessarily expect or hope for on a public message board. 

gi jane thats completely understandable, but this just goes back again to that long post about being sensitive when it comes to threads like these.

We never know what the person writting is going through or went through for that matter, so taking things so personaly can really just throw things out of hand. Hence me defending her. I know what this girl has gone through. She has taken out of her time to reach out to me for help and support. Ofcourse we cant expect to know every little detail about every girl's life, but at least we can think about this before we post rude remarks about someone, specialy when its accusing them of something, like what was done here.

Im not saying that its not understandable that people who are trying to lose weight, come here and read this and feel offended, but to think that she does it to make people feel bad about themselves ON PURPOSE is just out of the question and just throwing things out of line. Thats what I didnt like about that girl's response. Why would someone do that on purpose? Seems really illogical to me.

We all have to accept any sort of response here on a public message board, but we also need to hold ourselves back from being a bit rude and exaggerating things just because we felt insulted.

In the end everyone's entitled to their own opinion, but there is no need to point fingers and play the blame game. I think we're mature people here, and we can settle for discussing things in a mature way. No rude remarks needed.

Thank you for your feed back GI - Jane!

I am not perfect, and I honestly did NOT realize how I came across until you actually pointed it out!

I am young and learning and am absolutely open to admit my mistakes and to learn from them.

I DID NOT MEAN to say I was big, because I am not, I do not think that, and it IS rude to say that in front of many other people who are bigger then you!

Of course I would not INTEND to say that, but now that I re think it, that IS how I came across, so I apologize!

I would like to CLARIFY that I have had anorexia, and there is an IRRATION urge that tells me to maintain my lowest natural weight, instead of being a little heavier which is healthier

I KNOW THAT BMI of 19 IS SLIM! I know I AM NOT BIG. PLEASE KNOW THAT PEOPLE!

The thoughts I was trying to articulate were IRRATIONAL and now know that I will not offend any one by making the same mistake again!

I am happy to acknowledge that I did indeed come across DIFFERENTLY to how I INTENDED to, and all I can do is learn from my mistake,

I appreciate the feed back, and I thank you bananee for your support and realizing that I did not intentionally mean to come across in the way that I did!

i agree with DENLISHEN and i think Bananee you need to back off a bit. i have noticed on quite a few posts that when someone says something realistic and blunt you jump in very quickly to say they are wrong, or insensitive or that they are bringing the OP down.

this is a public forum and it is NOT an eating disorder forum so you are going to have to expect responses from people who are not sufferers - the everyday man who has a basic knowledge of eating disorders. There is a big element of introspection in eating disorders and it is not always the most helpful thing to say "aawwww.... poor you". I attend an eating disorder aftercare group weekly and we recently changed the format because it had turned into a group where one person would express a problem and everyone would be like "yeah i feel that too, oh i totally understand... blah blah" the team of staff decided no-one was actually making progress. all our recovery's were stalled because we were stuck in misery behaviour. 

the fact is this: eating disorders must be challenged each day. sitting wallowing furthers low self esteem and perpetuates the need for more introspection and close monitoring of physical flaws. so my advice is this : Get over yourself a little. start to find things outside your body which give you joy. if you dont know any-start looking. stop posting on a site like this to find out if "you are still slim". you kno your BMI and you know your history. challenge the desire to go down 2lbs. why dont you try PUT ON 2lbs. the point is stop looking at your bloody weight, and put something worthwhile in the void that is currently occupied by an ED.

im sure many of you will be disgusted with this response but i am SICK of the mutual sympathy thing. this is not about sympathy its about courage. Compassion is certainly certainly needed but compassion and pity and self pity are very different things

You make some good points fidget, I need to challenge my ED by placing more value and importance in other things that I do, like helping out a charity, learning more each day, and developing into the best person I can be

I have not lost site of these things, but due to my old ED, and a little about my past that I have not shared, I DO place a lot on being slim, I don’t place ALL my values on it, but I do rely on the feeling of being slim and fit more then I should.

I do actively find things that give me joy every day, but you guys have reminded me to let go of letting the scales dictate my mood as much, and to focus more on those other things.

I honestly do know what I SHOULD be doing, we all need to find value in our lives and to feel good about the way we live our lives, and the pride I have from being slim and fit does not DOMINATE EVERYTHING, but you have to know, that I worked SO hard to become slim and fit and healthy, that I don’t want to lose the pride I got from my hard work

Bananee is just one of those sweet girls who sees the validity in what people say when they say something that comes across badly.

Original Post by fidget84:

i agree with DENLISHEN and i think Bananee you need to back off a bit. i have noticed on quite a few posts that when someone says something realistic and blunt you jump in very quickly to say they are wrong, or insensitive or that they are bringing the OP down.

I dont HAVE to back off eitherm fidget. Im sorry I dont think like you, but I already told you. Most of the things you say I dont agree with. You always bring off such a negative vibe on everything, that its not even realistic at times. But hey thats just HOW I THINK, and hence this being a public forum I can say what I want, can I?

Yes, us recovering from and ED, need to be "challenged", but there is no need to be rude.  We find enough challenge in facing our fears each day. Something this girl has certaintly beat...to have one day off doesnt make her either weak or it doesnt say that she is not already fighting and doing what she needs to be doing to feel better about herself.

Also I said that above already. We can be mature about things like these and say it without having to insult or blame people here. Reality isnt always about being rude. THAT was my point. You know this girl isnt doing this PURPOSELY either, so why do you agree? Because its the way you think, your personal opinion and thats fine, but sadly I DONT agree, so I will speak up whenever I feel like I need to.

I dont say that they're wrong, as I clearly state on my reply, I say "everyone is entitled to their opinion, but there is absolutely no need to be rude". I personaly think that you give out more "blunt and realistic" rude comments than support. Sorry, my opinion, no offense. IT IS  public forum, one again,  so respect my opinion and I shall respect yours and everyone elses (something I already do). Point made.

just wanted to comment that you are not at all fat... i am the same height as you and 20 lbs more, and im still considered "normal weight" for my height. Even when i was at my lowest at 117 i was still not happy and everyone told me that i got too skinny... then finally i realized i just needed to focus on eating healthier and stop hating my body. i think what the problem is is that you have to build up your body image and self esteem.

*nod*! i'm the same height as you, and slightly heavier, (112~114lbs), (though unlike you, i'm pretty deficient in the boob department). i've envied all sorts of people. thin people (leg envy), not so thin people (boob and butt envy), and i'm still learning to be comfortable in my own skin.

numbers aren't what determines how you look. it's not like by being 2 lbs lighter, you're magically transplanted into a whole new different and perfect body! you're much more than that number on that scale. and hell, you're much more than what a tiny portion of weight obsessed teens might think about you! being thin doesn't make you a better person, or even a more likeable person.

so be glad, be radiant, be happy! (: and here is one thing i know for a fact. when i'm heavier, it helps me to comfort my friends when they're feeling down. (cause i give bigger, warmer and softer hugs!) there's an upside to everything!

I'm 5'4", 120ish lbs, and even thinking about being that thin would either depress me (self-esteem issues same as you) or on the other hand make me think that's waaaay too skinny.

You should take a good, hard look at the mirror. If you have curves, you're perfectly fine. I would kill to be your weight with curves

Thank you for every one who has responded!

I weigh from 110 - 14 at the most, and do have nice curves, and I truly appreciate my body

Every day I remind myself how lucky I am to have 2 legs that work

We can have so much, and yet still have “ off” moments were the media or skinny teens can change the way we look at our body for a second.

Eating disorders like anorexia do not necessarily go away for ever after you recover, many aspects stay and you learn to live with them so they hardly feature in your life

My problem is, that an old ED thought tells me that it wants to maintain my “ lowest” natural weigh.

Now, I am quiet curvy at 110 - 114,but I when I eat normally my natural weight range can be anything from 105 lbs

My ED thoughts tell me that I look better at my lowest weight, but I have decided to weigh more and eat even more food because the extra weight is better for me

I think that when a person is at the lowest weight , they do not have any extra fat in case they get sick

I wrote this post because as a personal trainer, I had taken about 2 months of from the gym, and felt a bit yuck!

I have been doing body pump for a couple of years and it transformed my body, my butt and every where became nice and toned, and I started running a few times a week for 30 minutes this year too!

Yesterday I went to body pump for the first time in months!

So I was just having a moment where the ED thoughts dominated, I am not working or studying at the moment so I have more time to think about my body, so the irrational ED thought stood out clearer.

I was not feeling sorry for myself, I just wanted people to remind me that I was nice and slim because I KNOW I am a great weight, but I missed exercising and the ED thoughts were getting me down, and I think we all deserve support no matter what weight we are.