Need Support - Friends and Family Give Zero Support! :-(

I am looking for some people who can be my friends, give some support (mutual - I will of course be supportive for you too!!) and to reassure me that I am not crazy, nor am I wrong in my decision to want to lose weight.

I am 5'2.2" and weight 142.4 lbs. I am considered overweight (just a tad) but I want to get down to about 120 lbs. The target weight may change later, but for now I am only worried about dropping to 120. Some people have said I could get as low as 110 and be okay but I LOVE my curves (and my boyfriend has begged me not to "lose my ass") and all I really want to do is some rid of my thighs and waiste so I can wear my old clothes again.

My friends and co-workers have said that the idea of me losing weight is terrible and wrong.

Most of my family is overweight (a whole lot more than me...my dad is 5'9" and something around 250-280lbs and my sister is 5'6" and is around 180 lbs) and they all make comments whenever I go home to visit that I am too thin, that I need to fatten up, and they say that it makes them sick that I am so small and am trying to be thinner!I don't think that having to wear a size 10 pants is small! Especially since I WAS a size 7 just a year ago!

I am sure these reactions are because most of the people around me (friends and co-workers included) are larger than me. Those few who are smaller are on my side about things. I've asked my boyfriend and he does not condemn my weight loss, but he does not condone it either. 

I'm frustrated because without support I have a hard time continuing. If people I work with think I am being "overly healthy" they make disparaging comments about me trying to lose weight. Same with my family. 

 

I shoudl also add that I have IBS and the more I weigh, the harder it is on my body, and being healthy overall makes IBS much more tolerable to handle.

Is there anyone who is also in need of someone to support and would be willing to add me as a friend and talk with me regularly, compare information and help each other??   I'm afraid that without any support I'll soon give up completely

hi, i could try to give so support. think most need some at one point or another. there is not much said in your profile.  if you don't mind me saying... weight has been a personal matter of opinion. it should be up to you as to whether or not you are satisfied with your self.  people say i am to thin but i don't see what they see. i have a goal in mind and that is what SHOULD matter.  of course there are those cases in which it is taken to the extreme but we wont go there.  dont give up..... you should do what makes you satisfied.

wow i think we're in the same shoes! im 5'3 and 137lbs as of last week(i weigh in tomorrow so i hope im lower) my highest was 148lbs so i know what its like. i want to get down to 115lbs by the end of october. my weight class will be 119lbs so close to 120. i'd be happy to be your support! my parents know that nothing will stop me from making my goal. but they often worry im not eating enough.  they say i look thin but i see myself in a much different way. everyone says im not fat but i sure do feel fat. they support me but always offer me food they know i can't eat. good luck!

Thanks guys!

clsyckpnst - I'll be updating my profile today hoepfully. I haven't had a chance to sit down and fill anything out.

alison5 - I really believe that the reason most people think that we are already looking thin and don't need to lose weight is because the world (particularly the USA) has accepted the fact that "normal" weight is something like wearing a size 10 pants. The world has become so used to people who are overweight being the norm that they think its okay. Its only the severely obese now that society say are "overweight". Everything else is "okay". And I'm not cool with that. I'd love to share information and keep in touch. I do better if I have someone else I'm working with. :)

 

EDIT: the comment to alison5 about size10 pants is based off my body type and height - I didn't mean that to be applied to all body types and heights - and for someone of my height and body type, to wear a size 10, would require me to be overweight - I have a small frame and am pretty short. Sorry for any anyone who may mistake that comment to think I'm trying to be offensive. 

good i'm up for the buddy system. yeah youre right. i am doing this to become a healither person not because i want to be deathly thin. and i think you understand that. just stay strong and dont give in. food may taste good for 10minutes but you'll feel bad the rest of the day.

Uh, I'm 5'6", 149lbs, and I wear a size 10 pants.  Though I want to lose more, I'm certainly not unhealthy, and I'm at a better fitness level than many size 0's I know.  So I definitely think that it's "okay" to be within the weight range considered "healthy" or "normal" by medical professionals.  I don't think it's OK to encourage people to gain weight unless they are sickly underweight, and I would never tell someone who wants to lose weight that they shouldn't (unless they fit the aforementioned description).  But I take issue with you saying that perfectly healthy people who just happen to weigh at the high end of the healthy range aren't "normal". 

Anyway.

Welcome to Calorie Count.  I hope you find the type of support you're looking for. 

Just to give you some perspective, I'm between 5'2" and 5'3", closer to the 5'3", and right now I weigh 115. I'm ok with that weight. Earlier this year I was 136. That was too much for me. But weight is somewhat relative because of body composition, like muscle vs. fat.

With regards to family, sometimes it's better if you just avoid the subject with them. When we talk about wanting to lose weight, or how we are losing weight, counting calories, etc, family members can get unduly concerned.

I've learned not to make too big of a deal out of reaching my goal weight, or upping my exercise levels, etc, when I'm talking with anyone in my family, or co-workers. Unless you have a like-minded family member or co-worker, you will often find concern or resentment, or both.

Luckily we have calorie-count so we can share and find motivation!

jess1100 - for my height and body type, for me to wear a size 10 pants I have to be overweight, not normal or within the healthy range. When I was within the healthy range I was a size 7/8. Now I'm a 10/11 or 11/12 depending on the brand and I am considered overweight by both my BMI and my doctor. I was not intending my comment to be taken for all body types and heights. I'll edit that post because apparently it was offensive and shouldn't have been.

figurethefat - Thanks. I learned quickly not to talk about it with my family. Coworkers are harder because they see that I'm not eating the normal food - and I'm not participating as much in the work potlucks or treats our boss will bring in. But they'll just have to learn to get over it because I'm going to do this! :-)  

Thanks for the support.  

Angel,

Welcome and best of luck to you.  Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like, I essentially respond to all e-mail sent to me.  I've got a friend at 5'1" who is around your weight and as she's explained to me, my extra 3 inches make a huge difference in how I carry weight by comparison to her.

I've gotten my coworkers to not ask unless they really want a boatload of information on how I've lost my first 20+ pounds and how I intend to lose the next 20...if they ask, I just tell them exactly what I've done and what I'm planning to do.  For some of them, the information is great, but for those who are just being a bit nosy, they don't really want to hear how great fiber one cereal is or how healthy seafood is. lol  Regarding your family, you've got a tough road, they love you which means you give them extra leeway, but you'll just have to be confident that you're doing the right thing for yourself.

Oh, treats are so hard!  I usually decline but sometimes I have a small piece of whatever.  I try not to unless it's homemade (not cookies from a premix) or truly irresistable.

hey i'm near your size...5'2" at 137, I started at the beginning of june at 155 so there is possiblitity.  My family is all overweight as well, my dad is actually going to do gastric bypass next year, so I understand how hard it is to get support from them.   I always feel guilty talking to them about my weight loss, because I don't want them to think I am pushing it on them.  I'm hoping to make my goal, 115-125 (depending on how it sits on me and how much muscle mass I put on) by october for my birthday and a 5k race I am going to run...feel free to talk if you need some help

Wow.  I'm 5'2" also and I'd KILL to be 143.  (Was 191 yesterday, haven't seen the 140s since junior high.)

I think part of their non-support is that they're taller than you, and maybe don't realize how little weight it takes to make a short person overweight.

That said, my personal goal is close to yours -- 119.  So hang in there, because you owe it to yourself to be the healthiest you that you can be.  go ahead and tell them that.

smwhipple - Yes your friend ids very right! Those extra 3 inches of height make a HUGE difference! What I wouldn't give to be just 3 inches taller!

tabathar - thats awesome! Congrats on the loss! Thats very encouraging to me! I'm so glad to hear that it can be done!! :)

pompey - when I first moved to Texas from Oregon I was close to 170lbs and that was AFTER losing weight during my first year of college. I dropped down to 120 in less than 6 months because of the excessive heat, the stress of losing my boyfriend and the stress of the move, and the added walking that a much larger campus provided. Definitely not healthy but it wasn't intentional. Its not quite your 191 but I can sympathize a little bit. :-)   I'm going to make it - and so are you! I have faith in us both! Thanks for the advice. : )

Hello there. I would love to make a few friends on here to mutually support. I'd like to read journal entries and comment, etc.

 I am 5'3 and 131 lbs. I started out here at 145 lbs, got down to 125, lost my motivation and have gained back a few. My goal weight is 115, but I would probably be pretty happy with a 120.