Negative comments about healthy living?

I don't mean this to be a rant, but I'm curious if anyone else is experiencing this.  Some backround: I have lost 30 pounds since joining this site and have 5 more pounds to go until my goal weight and my BMI is currently 21. For the first time in 10 years I am wearing a size 8. I've given up fried foods and meat (aside from seafood, not for diet reasons but for ethical ones) and I exercise about 20-40 minutes 5 times a week. While it has been very difficult for me to change (I HATE all forms of exercise), I now feel as though I don't have a choice. My health is too important to waste just because I'm lazy.

Now this is what's driving me nuts. I get criticism on a daily basis from inlaws, friends, etc. You name it. "Why are you eating a salad? You're not experiencing the joys in life. How much more weight are you going to lose? You must be using  diet pills or something."

I've taken these things personally and really thought long and hard about why they would such things. Was I doing something wrong? No, I absolutely don't take diet pills. Sure, I watch what I eat more now, but I absolutely don't deprive myself. Yesterday I had 2 slices of pecan pie, over the weekend I had fried calamari, and I do let myself skip the gym (or do a shorter work-out) if I really, really don't feel up to it. I don't believe in saying no to myself, I just believe in moderation and more thoughtful eating now. I am not obsessive about my weight, and actually, I've thought of changing my goal weight to be what it is now since I'm feeling so good in my own skin.

After a hard look at myself, I've determined it really isn't a problem with me. My family and husband are very happy for me also. But then why are these other people trying to bring me down? Why are they trying to make me feel like I'm doing something wrong by taking care of myself?

Does anyone else experience this? I'm feeling kind of alone and alienated.

  I have experienced that kind of negative feedback by friends, acquaintances and my thoughts are that they are threatened by their own insecurities and inabilities to change themselves.  People generally don't like change and esp when we they see others succeed in areas where they are lacking.

  But keep up your new healthy lifestyle,  esp the younger are that  you make those positive changes the better.  I'm 60 and started gaining weight at 40 and didn't take it seriously til just this last April.

  As a result, I have some health problems and I do regret not caring sooner. 

 So keep up the good work and look to positive people as role models to guide you.

Thank you Barbara. I was starting to feel crazy.

I was taking my youth for granted until I also had a health problem about a year ago that resulted in a blood clot. I guess the good news is that it's made me realize how important health is. It's never too late to start making yourself a priority! I don't know what kind of problems you've experienced but at least personally I've gotten a lot of relief from mine with my weight loss.

Thanks again for responding, and best of luck to you in your journey!

im in the same boat with ppl not being supportive.  my husband is supportive of me but the rest of my family isn't.  i have lost about 17 pounds and i have another 17 pounds to go or so.  my parents keep telling me that im losing too much and they don't want to see me wasting away.  they are starting to believe that i have some sort of eating disorder which is simply not true. 

this past week i gained 3 pounds which made me extremely upset but im still going to stick with the healthier way of eating.  when i told my parents they stated that it was good for me to gain weight.  im 5'4" and my goal weight is 130 and im at 146.

its hard when you get criticism from other ppl especially from the ppl you care about.

congrats on your weight loss so far and keep up with the good work.

since your so close to your goal weight, what are your plans for maintenance?

Hey tgeving. For maintenance my focus will probably be mainly on continuing to exercise. In the past it's been a problem for me. As soon as I hit a goal I just stop and then regain the weight. I'm trying to get back into tennis since that's something I enjoy doing and it's a great workout. As far as the dieting part goes, I think I'm on a plan now that seems to be sustainable, I'll probably just up my calorie intake some. I think being on this site has really helped me to understand my body more and I have a new outlook on eating. I agree with SOME of Bethenny Frankel's thoughts in her book (which I know people seem to either love or hate) that say, "you can have it all, just not all at once" and "your diet is your bank account." I try to keep those statements in my head whenever I make meal choices. 

I'm sorry to hear your experiencing the negativity also. Your goal weight seems very reasonable and congratulations on your weight loss so far! I get the eating disorder thing too sometimes and it really drives me crazy. In a way it's like they're brushing off all the hard (yet NOT excessive) work that I've done to get this far. If it were easy everyone would do it, I guess. 

Hang in there though! You're doing great so far. Gain weeks are definitely annoying but you'll be back on track next week. 

I just got my first negative feedback last weekend by two good friends of mine.  They brought up the eating disorder thing also, it made me a bit annoyed since I feel that I’m doing myself such a big favor in changing my lifestyle to the better, I’m not on a diet I’m on a lifestyle change.  I’m 196 lbs now it’s far from healthy for my height so I got really surprised that they were not supportive at all.  It could be that I’m doing good in working on my problem (the weight) where they are not in working on theirs and there for cant be happy for anyone that’s doing good.

I have lost 37 lbs just eating healthy and have a bit more active lifestyle and haven’t felt this good in years.

I get negative comments, too. I have lost 60 pounds, and people tell me I look, too thin.  I am 5'4" and weigh 151 lbs, so I am actually a little overweight for my height.  

It used to get me down, but not anymore.  Losing weight is very difficult...if not, everyone would look great.  We are achieving something special here.  If someone has a problem with me being healthy and taking care of myself, it is their problem, not mine.  I know it hurts, but do they really care about you if they don't want what's best for you?

Aimsa, you say that you feel alone; I don't blame you. Most of America is overweight, it seems.  When you are eating salad and everyone else is eating burgers, it can feel like you are the only one who cares about your health.  See yourself as the inspiration that you are. 

it seems like some of the negativity comes from people being used to seeing you look a certain way, and almost associate your personality with your weight.  i.e. "fat people are always funny."  once their fat friend is thinner and healthier, they think he's not only lost the fat, but the personality too.  People judge us by our canvas and shell, and while it can be annoying, frustrating, and flat out insulting when they question our desire to be healthier, it's because a lot of people are afraid of change.  This is the same for hair cuts, new clothes, etc...  I have a "friend" who every time someone shows up looking different, or has changed something about their appearance, she feels the need to put them on the spot and discuss their choices, motives, etc.  Either she has a hard time figuring out what to talk about, or it's her way of saying good job in the most roundabout indirect and hurtful way.  

The way I see it, nearly everyone feels they can do more with their lives in terms of caring for their bodies more.  The problem is, that some of these people have a bad case of jealousy and envy when they see their friends actually doing it when they are not...  In all honesty, I have been jealous of my friends in the past, thinking, how great is it to have that motivation to lose the weight and work out- I wish it was me!  Well, time to grow up and have it finally, be me.

this has also happened to me. it seems like people are so quick to say how much weight i've gained and how i need to do something about it, but the moment i start "getting to thin" or making healthy decision about eating they quickly let me know. sometimes i think that because im losing weight they might feel like im giving them a run for their money or something. i dont know (its like one way to appear more attractive and thinner is stand next to someone who isnt so fit does that even make sense?)

its hard to try to better yourself and live a healthier life when people are judging whether its your too thin or your too fat