negative relationship with food

how can i establish a positive relationship with food? when i eat i get angry and short tempered...its like the more i eat, the unhappier i get. i know i have to eat so i wonder how do i make it so i enjoy eating?

Hi, I'm new here but I can tell you some things that I have tried. Make your meals and snacks special. Set a nice place at the table, maybe with a small bouquet of flowers. Use your good china and silverware. Pay attention to presentation and garnish your plate of food with fresh parsley and lemon slices or mint. Arrange your vegetables on a pretty tray, try to be creative. Just because we are dieting we don't have to punish ourselves with drab, boring eating environments.

One thing this will do is allow you to savor your meal and enjoy it. Another trick that I taught myself years ago when I was modeling was to take a bite, put my fork down, chew the bite 20 times and then pick up the fork again to take another bite. It sounds silly but once you do it for a while it becomes habit. The process tells your stomach that you are full long before the plate is empty. Oh, and drink your beverage out of stemware too!

I hope this helps a little! :)

Hi - I actually have a friend who has a genetic problem with complex carbohydrates.  She has Scandanavian roots and was adopted into an Italian family.  She was raised with LOTs of pasta and was a VERY irritable child.  If it is the thought of eating, or the thought of what you ate that is making you angry - consider counseling.  You are right - you have to eat to live. 

I don't know if you are trying to gain or lose weight.  Either way, simple 'whole foods' are a good way to go.  They have lots of nutritional value for their calorie contents, and are often quite filling.  You can purchase things like fresh fruits and veggies, hummus, eggs, instant oatmeal, whole grain cereals, yogurt, low fat milk and cheeses, canned tuna, whole wheat pita bread, and precooked frozen shrimp.  All of these are great, and you can create meals with little to no actual cooking, or mess.   Remember to drink lots of water! 

I live alone and used to hate eating because I was always tired and dreaded the prep time, and cleanup.  Also, cooking and eating were always very social things to me, and it seemed like punishment to do those things alone most of the time. 

Now I look for quick options, pack a big lunch bag from things I pull out of the pantry and fridge, and nibble all day.  At night I might grill a piece of chicken, beef or pork on the George Foreman Grill, microwave some veggies, and have a piece of fruit for dessert.  If I'm really tired, a salad of spinach, tuna, and mandarin orange sections with lowfat raspberry vinagrette is fast, happy, filling food.  I might cook something more elaborate on weekends - freezing extra for later.  I also try to eat with someone else at least once a week.

This may sound like an ad from the AMA but ....  If you look forward to eating, make good choices, and enjoy your meal - but still feel irritable for no identifiable reason - an intolerance to something common in your diet could be causing the problem. See your doctor.  If not, make some adjustments and consider professional counseling if things don't get better. Good luck, and good eating!

Original Post by svkas09:

how can i establish a positive relationship with food?

Looking back at some of your old posts...     You have a long history of disordered eating behaviour.... being very, very small as a child with a 'bird' like appetite.  As recently as last June you were proud of getting your intake up to 850 cals.  Even now you only take in 1200-1500?

I think the problem is that you still identify with being a 60lbs little girl and that you haven't quite got to grips with being a more normal-sized young woman or teenager.  So you've been trying to lose weight and not succeeding.   Part of the reason you're not succeeding could be that you're a normal size and trying to get yourself back down to an abnormal size.  To test that theory.... use this link which is aimed at the under 21s http://www.kidsnutrition.org/bodycomp/bmiz2.h tml  It'll show you not only where you sit on the BMI chart for your age but how many calories you need to function normally and maintain your weight.

Because you're not losing weight and because you're no longer a tiny little girl you're blaming food and getting angry with food for maybe 'ruining' your body?  Which is misplaced.  It's much more likely that you're bigger because you're getting older and your body is growing and maturing from that of a little girl to that of a young woman.  I think it's that process (puberty) you're having a problem with.  You routinely undereat and you have a poor appetite.  A poor/insufficient diet is a big factor in depression, anxiety and stress.  People who have a long history of undereating find it easier to gain weight in the long-run.  Slim girls that diet when they don't need to can 'diet themselves fat'.  People who eat normally find it easier to maintain a healthy weight.

You still have the eating disorder, most likely.  I've seen your old posts about 'friends' that are trying to lose weight in unhealthy ways (just eating fruit and veg?) and I expect it's actually yourself that's trying these things.  You should talk to your parents about how you feel about your body and how you feel about food.  You carefully don't mention your age or stats but I don't expect you're even close to overweight.  You may need counselling or similar to help you overcome your fears and deal with the changes that growing up presents.

Good luck

Have you considered the possibility of intolerances to certain foods or additives? It's very common, especially in people who may have mild digestive damage from eating disorder history. Try eating the same amount but with as much from whole, minimally processed foods as possible, with little to no additives. If a certain food sets you off worse than others, eliminate it and substitute something else. Soy, wheat, and corn are in many, many foods and it's possible to have a mild intolerance to one of those without knowing it because they're ingested in small amounts almost constantly. Go to a dietician and see if s/he can supervise a rotating elimination; go a week with the same number of calories and same amount of fat/protein/carbs as before, but with one food cut out, and rotate which one is avoided until you find the ones that bother you, or determine that it's not the cause.

gi-jane, your post was very accurate until you got to one part...my friend. i was not lying about my friend and please dont accuse me of that... my friend is very ill right now and as been to three doctors already. she has nothing left to her body, unlike me who has done her best to battle this. i have had a very very hard home life but yet dealt with all the difficulties overcoming this issue with food. so please, id really appreciate it if you did not criticize my posts concerning my old best friend...because of her ED we have been unable to stay best friends but i still care a lot about her...