Still Never Enough?
k What is it with me? I am 5'4" and 122 pounds. A couple of months ago I just wanted to be 125 pounds and I thought I would feel great about the way I looked once I got there.
But every time I look in the mirror I look huge. I don't get it. I should be happy with my body. Why am I not pleased with the way I look? I thought that I was about 120 pounds a few years ago. (though I didn't really check that much back then since I was happy with myself at that point) But when I look at pictures or video of myself from 2006 I think I look tons thinner than I do right now.
Why is that?
If it weren't for the fact that the scale says 122 and that my clothes are falling off I wouldn't even know I was losing. I have all these medium shirts that I had to shrink in the dryer and they are still too big. My husband bought me one size small shirt that is ironically still sorta baggy. But we don't have the money to rush out and buy me a new wardrobe every couple of weeks. So here I sit in baggy clothes.
I know it's crazy right? I think I look big and yet my clothes are grossly baggy.
Man I didn't know I would feel this weird after losing. Why do I feel this way?
Did anyone else feel like they were still big after reaching their goal?
No weight loss "makes life great". The feeling that life is great comes from within, from having people and things in your life that matter, and from a sense of accomplishment. The most that weight loss can do for someone is to make them healthier and more attractive physically. It won't fix any other problems.
The first time I lost serious weight, about 100 pounds, I didn't start to think I looked thin until people started acting truly shocked when they saw me. I figured there had to be a huge difference for people to react like that. I still looked in the mirror and saw my hanging skin and stretch marks and thought, well, big deal. But I could also look past my own diffidence and realize, yeah, any sane person can easily see that I've lost a ton of weight and I look really good, even if I can't always see it. I think I expected everything else in my life to magically fall in place once the weight was gone, and realizing that wasn't going to happen it hit me pretty hard. At least when I lose it this time I'll have a lot more perspective.
"A couple of months ago I just wanted to be 125 pounds and I thought my life would be great once I got there." I think this is the problem. You thought being 125 would make your life great. But when you reached 125 you realized the only thing that had changed was the way your clothes fit. You expected losing weight to change your life, but all that changed was your shirt size.
Original Post by dkenworthy:
No weight loss "makes life great". The feeling that life is great comes from within, from having people and things in your life that matter, and from a sense of accomplishment. The most that weight loss can do for someone is to make them healthier and more attractive physically. It won't fix any other problems.
I guess I should change that to "I thought I would feel great about the way I looked"
I am very happy with my life. I didn't think losing weight would fix my life. In fact the only thing I feel that needs fixing in my life is my weight. I am very happy with everything else. I'll go fix that in the post now.
Original Post by coralbell:
"A couple of months ago I just wanted to be 125 pounds and I thought my life would be great once I got there." I think this is the problem. You thought being 125 would make your life great. But when you reached 125 you realized the only thing that had changed was the way your clothes fit. You expected losing weight to change your life, but all that changed was your shirt size.
No actually the only thing I feel that needs fixing in my life is my weight. I changed it up on my first post to make more sense. Everything else in my life is great I am really just dissatisfied with my body.
Original Post by antiferret:
The first time I lost serious weight, about 100 pounds, I didn't start to think I looked thin until people started acting truly shocked when they saw me. I figured there had to be a huge difference for people to react like that. I still looked in the mirror and saw my hanging skin and stretch marks and thought, well, big deal. But I could also look past my own diffidence and realize, yeah, any sane person can easily see that I've lost a ton of weight and I look really good, even if I can't always see it. I think I expected everything else in my life to magically fall in place once the weight was gone, and realizing that wasn't going to happen it hit me pretty hard. At least when I lose it this time I'll have a lot more perspective.
I'm glad to see I'm not alone in not noticing the change. And I've had a few people tell me I look great but they are the same people who got mad at me and said I looked fine when I said I was going to diet. That was back when I was actually overweight. So I have a hard time trusting whether they really mean it or not.
Original Post by bigfatarmsbegone:
Original Post by coralbell:
"A couple of months ago I just wanted to be 125 pounds and I thought my life would be great once I got there." I think this is the problem. You thought being 125 would make your life great. But when you reached 125 you realized the only thing that had changed was the way your clothes fit. You expected losing weight to change your life, but all that changed was your shirt size.
No actually the only thing I feel that needs fixing in my life is my weight. I changed it up on my first post to make more sense. Everything else in my life is great I am really just dissatisfied with my body.
You don't look like you need to lose any weight from you photos 
Original Post by xavier7:
Original Post by bigfatarmsbegone:
Original Post by coralbell:
"A couple of months ago I just wanted to be 125 pounds and I thought my life would be great once I got there." I think this is the problem. You thought being 125 would make your life great. But when you reached 125 you realized the only thing that had changed was the way your clothes fit. You expected losing weight to change your life, but all that changed was your shirt size.
No actually the only thing I feel that needs fixing in my life is my weight. I changed it up on my first post to make more sense. Everything else in my life is great I am really just dissatisfied with my body.
You don't look like you need to lose any weight from you photos
Thank you so much. But that is my problem. I know that logically I shouldn't feel the need to lose more and I yet I just still see myself as big.
I did that actually when I lost weight the first time. I was 140, and very comfortable, but at the same time I was striving to be 130. Now that I put 30 back on, and I am 175, I think I was crazy, and vowed to not let that happen again. Don't get obsessed! I don't think the problem is outward, it is inward! I think you need reprogram your thinking maybe. Maybe I wasn't too much help. But I certainly know what you are talking about!
Just learn to accept yourself! No matter what we are all beautiful!
girlfriend, I think you just need a make over. You mentioned "grossly baggy" clothes. Well, if you are wearing clothes that are 2 sizes too big - you can not see how you really look and nothing you wear is likely to be flattering.
Also, hair and glasses that we wore when we were heavier may no longer be flattering on our new thinner faces.
There is also the psychological aspect of carrying around old stuff from our fat days. It is hard to feel like a butterfly when you are still wrapped in the old fat cocoon and everything in your life is the same but your weight.
Splurge - get your hair done, buy a new out fit, get a manicure :)
I have this problem also, sort of. First impressions are burned in my mind. I have several friends who used to be somewhat overweight and then lost weight - pretty signficantly for their ages, too. I really did not notice until my mother pointed it out to me. People's weight/body type just sticks in my mind and I can't adjust my mental picture of them when they lose weight. This happens when I look at myself as well.
You're at your goal! You're healthy! Be happy! You did it. You should be wearing tiny clothes (even if you can't buy them right now). You're a "skinny person", even if you can't see it. Look at the numbers. They don't lie.
Thanks for the advice everyone. It's nice to know I am not the only one who has ever felt akward after losing weight.
As far as the "new" clothes go, have you checked at Goodwill or the second hand shops?
I can't believe how many things I have found that still have the tags on them!
That part aside, be VERY proud of yourself for reaching your goal! You did a great job, and you deserve to strut your stuff! (Even if it IS in baggy clothes!)
Yeah, you should totally buy new clothes, as much as you can afford. I was shocked by some of the things that I could suddenly wear, and that really cemented my new body image in my mind. Also, swimming around in some of my really fat clothes, the ones I had stopped wearing long before, made me realize the difference.
Buy yourself some new clothes, get a haircut, a massage, give yourself a facial, paint your nails, get up early to savour time alone reading a good book, or go on a long walk - whatever it takes to feel good about the skin you're in. Buying clothes in a smaller size will help it sink in that you are smaller now.
I think sometimes when people lose weight, part of the reason they feel lost and uncomfortable is that they no longer have the thrill of losing weight to keep them feeling good about themselves. Seeing your body change and the number on the scale drop, counting calories etc can be addictive - it's like getting positive reinforcement that you are doing something "right" in your life. So change your focus; start thinking about other healthy lifestyle changes you can make. You could work on healthy eating goals or fitness goals instead.
Getting fitter can also mean you can look smaller without losing weight, and burn more calories into the bargain. Perhaps when you were 120lbs a few years ago you had more muscle and less fat?
Also be wary of going too far. The last thing you want is to begin sliding into eating disorder territory. So, focus on the positives of your new body, do things to feel good about yourself and enjoy being able to eat maintenance!
Maybe look at body composition as a new challenge. Sometimes people feel their fat within a normal weight range simply because they do have excess fat for their weight. It's possible to actually weight more and look much leaner just by changing body composition. Basically this challenges the diet industries big gun, which is weight loss......focusing on fat loss is a whole new world, you feel better and you get to eat too. 
Original Post by merylwhite1:
Buy yourself some new clothes, get a haircut, a massage, give yourself a facial, paint your nails, get up early to savour time alone reading a good book, or go on a long walk - whatever it takes to feel good about the skin you're in. Buying clothes in a smaller size will help it sink in that you are smaller now.
I think sometimes when people lose weight, part of the reason they feel lost and uncomfortable is that they no longer have the thrill of losing weight to keep them feeling good about themselves. Seeing your body change and the number on the scale drop, counting calories etc can be addictive - it's like getting positive reinforcement that you are doing something "right" in your life. So change your focus; start thinking about other healthy lifestyle changes you can make. You could work on healthy eating goals or fitness goals instead.
Getting fitter can also mean you can look smaller without losing weight, and burn more calories into the bargain. Perhaps when you were 120lbs a few years ago you had more muscle and less fat?
Also be wary of going too far. The last thing you want is to begin sliding into eating disorder territory. So, focus on the positives of your new body, do things to feel good about yourself and enjoy being able to eat maintenance!
thanks that's some really great advice!
thanks to everyone who replied. I'm feeling tons better!
Congratulations to you for confronting this issue. I wish I had done the same years ago. I thought I was such a cow, even at a good, healthy weight. When I look at photos from years past, I am stunned at how good I looked. Not only thin, but pretty and I did not even know it. I now realize it had to do with my self-image because of what I was taught growing up. My response was not to starve myself, but to comfort myself with food. Bad decision! So now I am trying really hard to make good decisions about food, and remind myself that I ain't that bad after all.
You know, if you can't afford to buy new clothes, you can always afford to try them on. That will give you a more realistic idea of what your body really looks like. When you find things that you like and fit well, watch for them to go on sale, or put them on your birthday list. Maybe even bring a friend and a digital camera. Anything to get your new body image into your head!
You sound just like I did when I lost about 40 lbs. I thought that things would be different, but I just felt trapped and unhappy.
I'm hoping this time will be different.
S.
