I never learned how to swim

I took classes as a kid, but there were problems.  One is that I was always ashamed of my body.  I don't mean because I'm fat; I mean because I'm a mutant.  So I'd try to keep myself covered as much as I could.  I remember in third grade, I begged my mother to deny permission to go to the pool.  I and a few other students stayed in and watched some documentary about Nazi Germany.  It was better than getting ridiculed.

The other issue was that I did fine in the three-foot.  The instructor was rough, I do remember that.  He'd submerse our heads under water while we were holding our breath.  But when it came time to go into the twelve-feet, I couldn't do it.  I know if I went through with it, I probably would have learned and maybe even appreciated the instructor having no warmth or gentleness whatsoever, but neither I nor my brother learned.  My sister did, however.

I remember my father said I should be able to swim better than the skinny people because fat floats. Hm.

Wow. There is really no redeeming feature to be found in any of the adults in that story in so far as how they 'guided' the process of you learning to swim.

I notice some troubling present-tense self-loathing there too.

Have you got a handy psychologist on the job to deprogram a bit of that self-loathing?

As kids, we have no alternative but to turn negative experiences inward to become self-hatred because we have no other measures by which to go on.

If the trusted and so-called loving adults determine we are "fat", "stupid", "useless" we have no way to determine that they are wrong, so we simply accept.

But once we are adult, it helps to have a professional guide us through the process of separating out the little self-loathing kid (which we aren't any longer) and the adult with loads of potential and capability that is hog-tied by a past we can't do over.

Oh, and as inspiration about learning to swim after a disastrous childhood experience watch this:http://www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_smash_fe ar_learn_anything.html

Like a ninja turtle?  Or Mothra?

I see nothing shameful in your photos.

Sad to miss out.  I swim like crap but I still love it.  Very few opportunities to feel the way you do while swimming.  Alll buoyant and wrapped in a water blankey.

Yes please.  Could you be a little more specific about the word "mutant" you used?  It really made me go through your profile and pictures but I don't see anything wrong with you.  You look very normal and human to me and congrats on the road to weight loss.  It is not easy for all of us.  As far as the swimming goes, I'm sure you could go to your local Y (hopefully they'll have a pool) and start little by little to get familiar with the water and how to stay above and what is your body's reaction to it.  Is never late.  Good luck!!

It's probably just a thrid nip or something.  I dated a guy like that once.  We all thought it was hilarious.  Some of his friends actually used that as his nickname - 3rd nip.

To the real problem, check out your local pool, YMCA, YWCA, or other organizations with swimming facilities to see if they offer courses for adults.  I know recreation center in my hometown offers them.  Our local community college even offers a swimming class for adult beginners.

Wait...what is this about you being a mutant? I clicked on this because I'm 28 and don't know how to swim either, but I'm totally thrown off by the whole mutant thing.

Expliquez s'il vous plait!

LOL........mutant.............fat floats......this guy is hilarious........edit:removed quote

have a great day

as far as swiming ....learn how to float and tread water in the 4- 5-6 foot water at a pool........use your body, feet and legs and arms moving back and forth at a slow- moderate speed with your hands cupped and the more friction against the water you create the slower you can move and stay afloat....also if you hold some air in your lungs you will float like a raft and can stay afloat with very little effort for a very long time. Once you have mastered  this... you know how to swim as much as you need to know anyway. after that if you want to become a real swimmer you are going to have to practice alot and get some coaching. learning to swim good enough to do laps is not an easy thing to do.

Original Post by keithooo:

..edit removed quote

or maybe it went over mine .you ladys may be right but i hope hes just being comical

What's comical is that everybody is obsessing over the "mutant" comment.  So much for helping the guy.

Original Post by rosieblue:

What's comical is that everybody is obsessing over the "mutant" comment.  So much for helping the guy.

Well it is the standout part of the OP's post!

keithooo

well gentleman i did not miss the humor.  but i am always curious what one considers mutant about themselves.  i have met third nipples, missing knuckles, webbed toes, and body hair that rivals the dog boy a plenty.  all things i find charming, because personally i think we all have some mutant thing, even if it is small- that makes us interesting.

the OPs writing reminds me of a friend.  i wish he'd say more.

 I really should read my posts twice before I  hit send; ....it sounds rude.....please forgive me

.....please forgive me

done ;)

Original Post by keithooo:

 I really should read my posts twice before I  hit send; I did not like my comment about over someones head....and the ladies part was not well conceived either.....it sounds rude.....please forgive me

Meh -- Having checked out the bio I'm not so sure  -- 50/50 self loathing to humor as a way of coping? So maybe everyone's right? Who knows since although he's checking the thread, he ain't joining in.