I will never be 'Model' skinny

I know this and don't want to be that skinny. I have no desire to have my ribs show or my collar bone sticking out far.

My roomie and I were watching a model on TV and she said she is way too skinny and I said she is skinny but she has ample hips and thighs which she did.

Then I said 'I wonder what we can do when I lose this weight' meaning things that I can't do now like snow sledding and bowling and water sports. Her response was 'You will never be that skinny' She was referring to the model.

That really hurt my feelings. First off I was not saying I wanted to be that skinny and when I asked her about it she said your body is not like that and you will never be that thin. I said that's not what I was saying and why would you say that to what I said.

OKay so does this mean I will never be happy with my body or never be thin enough. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Why do people say stuff like that. It's like trying to sabatoge my efforts like saying why try because you will never be that skinny. But the truth is I was that skinny. I was anorexic at one time. Hard to believe now at my 291 lbs but I only weighed 97 lbs at the same height I am now 5'2 and it was too skinny on my large boned frame.

Okay my feelings are hurt and now it's on my mind and I can't stop thinking about how I will never be 'that skinny'

 

your reaction is natural whenever anyone tells us we can't do something - it's sort of insulting, even if it's something we never wanted to do in the first place. just remember that it shouldn't hurt if you really don't want to be that skinny.

let the comment pass and don't let it bug you. you can do whatever you want & are willing to work for relative to your weight - don't let anyone tell you different.

:-)

Well Darlin' how skinny was she??? Does she smoke instead of eat??? Most models do!! One of the reasons models are thin is because they are very young. When a model hits the 25- 27 yrs range. . . she is considered old too old for modeling. You see you have weight gain periods. First weight gain is usually between 21-25, second will be around 30 something again in your 40s and then we won't discuss what happens when you are 50ish.  I don't know how skinny the model was, but do you really want to look like your hip bones are about ready to pop out of your skin??? Or your shoulder blades protruding. . .I know!!! I am 5' 91/2" tall, and when I was young I weighed only 90 lbs. . .I absolutely hated being skinny!!! Real women have real curves. . .that is the truth. Thus, you may get down to that size. . .and you may not!!! I would just be happy with loosing weight, stop comparing yourself to  others. . .be you, and do you!!!!   

Most of us can't be that skinny. Not only do these women have tiny bone structures, they are also a lot taller then the average female which only makes them look thinner. I will never be that skinny either. I was cursed with being extremely short on top of having a large bone structure, athletic build and generously proportioned in the hip and chest area (the exact opposite of your typical model) and I feel angry sometimes. I wonder why I had to be built this way, why did I get these genes? My mothers side of the family has tiny bone structures and are all short. My dads side of the family they all have large bone structures and tall. They have big hips but normal sized chest's on my mothers side. They have big chests but normal hips on my dads side of the family. Daintily built on my moms side, athletic built on my dad's, big booty's on my moms side, and no booty's on my dads side ( I got the short end of the stick on that one too). Why did I get all the bad traits from both parents and none of the good? Its just not fair! When I was 16 years old and my body was at it's peek I wore size 7 jeans. You know how many girls think size 7 is big? And my entire life I have had to deal with the fact that even the "petite" jeans are about 6 inches too long for me! And XL shirts don't fit my bust! I just wish I could find clothes that fit me right, I feel like an alien in a clothing store, like I am an exception to EVERY rule when designing clothes. Now, at my age I'm sure I could loose every ounce of fat on my body and be lucky to fit into size 7 jeans! I'm sure after having 4 kids my hips will never be that narrow again, lol.  Don't feel bad, your not alone!

Being 19, I always feel pressure to be thin, and look like a fashion model.  The superficiality is especially prevalent here in southern California, and I'm just not for it.  I just stick to what my goals are, and work from there up.  If someone has a problem with my body, then I have a problem with their attitude. 

Thank you everyone for your posts. I have let it go. It hurt my feelings at first but I know when I get down then I will decide then how much looks good to me. I don't want to be that thin like the model I saw. Below the waist yes as she didn't look 'too skinny' to me but above the waist her arms look liked skeleton arms. I don't want that. I just want to be healthy.

Good for you, shiagirl.

Skinny isn't my goal. Healthy is.

=^..^= MOLLY

I will never be a size zero. I mean i weigh around 117 and my hip bones show. There is no way to ever fit into those size pants unless i shave the bone. Gross. Everyone is build differently and unfortunately the few women who have that "model" look are found and displayed on the tv. In the back of my mind I will always long to have a body like Gisele from Victoria Secret but it is not reality. I will just have to work with what I have and realize there is not just one type of "skinny"

I'm sorry your feelings are hurt! Some people really have no internal 'rudeness' meter. Think of it this way "I will never be that bony skinny because I'm a real woman. I will never be scary skinny because I love my body too much. I will never be skin and bones because MY jeans come equipped with a butt."

Screw skinny. LOVE strong. :D 

Hey seriously, why get worked up about a friend's comment? Chances are, she has NO idea that your feelings were hurt.

Think of it this way. Telling you (or me or any of us) that we'll never be model thin is about the same as saying we'll never be world class athletes. It's just a fact of life. The people who ARE model thin or who ARE world class athletes are exceptionally rare which is why we notice them.

So instead of getting hurt and stewing about a careless comment, take a look at what you are doing for yourself now with your diet and exercise. You've taken a stand, you are doing something really good for yourself and your friend's comment really has no power over you unless you let it.

Do you want to let someone else be in control of your emotions?

Screw skinny. LOVE strong. :D 

LOL I love that comment!

I know this might sound not good but I wouldn't mind my hip bones showing again. Even when I had my hip bones showing I still had alot of butt behind me and large thighs.  But I do want to be strong and healthy not 'sickly skinny'

.

My friend said a simular thing to me the other day. According to her i have too many curves and have too much bone and muscle to be model thin. Shes also trying to loose weight even though shes 5'2 and 122lbs, shes very very toned and has a lovely figure but is totally insecure. I think she wants to pull me down a little because at 5'2 she knows she will never have the ody she craves so doesnt want me to either. She also keeps trying to tell me i ought to join her in havin liposuction if i want the 'model body' but i think thats just cause she wants someone else to go through it with her.

I wouldnt take your friedns comments as her trying to be mean, its her being a little jealous that you are doing something to make yourself better whilst she doesnt have the will power to do the same. We all love our friends and want the best for them but at the same time its not nice seeing them achieve more or look better than we do, its basic human nature to compete

I Can't imagine living in CA like RoachCoach with all the plastic surgery and liposuction. I thought about moving to SanDiego but the pressure to be "beautiful" would be downright depressing to me.

Not only do people "suggest" procedures like ChelseaGirl's friend , but I have seen people act like you are ruining their beautiful world by not being what they consider perfect. They act like you being overweight (or anything they consider imperfect in any way) is an insult to them; a disrespect almost like you are refusing to bathe and you are stinking up the place!

I love that SCREW SKINNY, LOVE STRONG....

My goal was to be healthy and strong, I have never been and will never be small...and I know a LOT of really unhealthy, unwell, skinny people with no muscle tone and no chance of survival if anything catastrophic ever happened.  I will never be a model, even if I had extensive surgery; BUT I WILL be FIT to survive, and I won't break when I have to do hard labor. I worked in a cement plant to pay for my college education by jackhammering and lifting cement, and doing concrete roofing. Actually, having a little weight on me saved my life when I was a kid. I got really sick and wasted away to 60 pounds when I was 10... I lost 30 pounds...almost died.....but I had the 30 to lose and I was strong and healthy in the first place.

OK, I am babbling now.....Thanks for sharing everyone, I love reading what you all have to say! Peace! 

chelseagirl........Im sorry your friend seems a bit jealous. I have looked at your pictures and you look petite to me. You do have curves and if that's your friend in the pics with you then I say your the sexier one. I hae to agree with you about my friend as I have been thinking about this because this is not the first comment she has made and is why that one was like the straw that broke the camels back kinda thing for me. She is now 41 yrs old but use to be 290 lbs like me but is taller then me by 3 inches. She had the gastric bypass surgery in her twenties because she could not lose the weight on her own. She has made several comments kinda indicating that I wont be able to do this on my own and if I do I will gain it all back as she says 'it takes more willpower then I had' and so I think she really believes that people cannot lose weight and keep it off. She thinks they will eventually gain it all back. I think your friend is a bit jealous hon that you 'do have curves' and if that's her inthe picture with the blonde hair....she does look fit and slim but is kinda straight up and down. I saw you as the middle one in one of your pics and you look petite and like something that men would be attracted to. Don't have libosuction........unless you feel you need to but I don't see that you do.

lilacryn......you are gorgeous and kinda resemble a bit like alecia keys to me. Hope you think she's attractive because I think she's beautiful and mean that as a compliment. California isn't all that bad lol........but yes I agree in some of those areas they are 'figure' freaky meaning it's all about how you look, especially by the beach cities. I live up in the mountains in a small community so it's not like that here as much. You have a great attitude and that's been my goal all along is not to look like a 'model' because that doesn't matter to me as much as being strong and healthy. I don't care if I look like a model to be honest but my friend knew that I was wanting to be a model when I was 16 and that my Mom refused to send me to school for it. I think it is about me doing this on my own instead of having gastric bypass surgery. I do believe we can do this on our own and never gain it back. I don't think it's all about 'willpower' either. I think its a mind, body, soul connection and doing what needs to be done to be healthy and strong.

I just want to say something else too. For some women this is what they want is to be model thin which to them is 'model beautiful'

Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes. When you look at models or women in magazines or on television that you think are beautiful there is alot of work and makeup that goes into some of those women. I'm not saying they are not beautiful because they are but for some of them they really do alot of touch up in the pictures and their skin is really not that smooth and their hair is really not that perfect naturally. Have you ever seen some of these women without their makeup on and hair done? They look just like you and I walking down the street and you probably wouldn't even noticed them if they were walking down your street as being a 'actor or movie star or model. Very few of them are 'naturally' that beautiful. Again there is alot more to beauty then the outer person as well. You can be around the most beautiful person in the world but if their personality is not attractive then it will change how you view them. Beauty really is only skin deep as it's really about who you are inside and how kind and caring you are to others and how you give to the world around you that truely matters.

WOW, Thanks MAN! Could I pay you to just hang around and tell me that like 20X a day? I Love Alicia Keys, she is gorgeous and talented.... 

I know what you mean about the models with the makeup and all that.  I decided a long time ago that I couldn't wear makeup, except for lipstick that stays on for at least 8 hours, because I would obsess about it. I got to the point I was "unfit" to leave the house without it. I started to hate my REAL face, every detail HAD to be fixed or covered up. I spent WAY too long trying to get my makeup right, and I would never be happy with it. 

I am actually allergic to most makeup, it burns my eyes and makes my skin and nose itch...and I would still torture myself over it! I also noticed that the more I covered my skin, the more zits and stuff I got. SO, for my sanity, I gave up on makeup (except for lipstick)

I know this forum isn't really about beauty, but it's the same thing to obsess about my weight and never be happy about how I look. I HAVE to focus on being a good person INSIDE, and being healthy, because if I don't I will fall into the trap of trying to be what Society SAYS is beautiful, and what I can never, and will never be. ( I always used to want straight blonde hair.....good luck with that! LOL) 

BTW Shiagirl, I am also from the mountains...Upstate NY....I miss it a lot...AND, you are right, it is usually the coastal areas that tend to obsess more about being "beach beautiful"  It's a shame, but as much as I like to swim, I avoid public swimming...I feel like I am going to offend someone if I show that much of my body.  Oh the little prisons we live in, ya know? 

LOL well you do look like her. I think she's so pretty too. The mountains are beautiful. I just love being in nature.

It's not just the makeup on these women either.......its the photo retouching or finishing that gets me. Like photo shop I have seen some already pretty girls made to look so much more beautiful with the photo shop touching up. So we all need to remember what we see in a magazine sometimes is not really what that person looks like with all the touch ups.

I wear makeup when I go out somewhere but when i'm at home i'm all natural. Sometimes makeup burns my eyes and gives me a sinus infection. So i'm careful about making sure I switch makeup often and don't let anyone use it and things like that.

That's right the focus should be on giving more of ourselves to others and when we do we radiate anyways because were happing knowing we helped someone.

Your friend only told you that you will never be that skinny because she knows she will never and by saying that to you and putting you down boosts up her self esteem.

You could choose to interpret her comment thusly:

Your friend said that model was TOO skinny.
She said that you will never be that skinny.
Therefore, she was trying to reassure you that you will never get "sick-looking" skinny.

And I recommend that people look at this retouching site (under portfolio) for more on the phenomenon.

i worked a fashion show a couple of months ago and had lunch with some models.. they ended up eating a small plate of lettuce while I stuffed my face with a sandwich  but their bodies are not as great as the people/media makes them out to be.. i would never want to be that skinny!!