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Hi, my name is Maddie Strang. I'm a thirteen-year-old girl from Ontario, Canada and I suffer from anorexia. I resently told my family about my eating disorder and I'm beginning recovery. I'm currently 5' 1" and 78.5 lbs., my goal weight is 93 lbs.
Anorexia has triggered a lot of unstable emotions in me. I cry a lot, I have often thoughts of suicide, I've cut myself a few times and I've attempted throwing up quiet a few times. I really want to get better, it's just hard.
I don't have a lot of support-- only from my mom and doctor-- and because I'm not very old, I can't tell any of my friends, so many of my emotions are bottled up, and people at school don't understand how all of a sudden I got so thin.
I joined this group/site to find extra support from other people recovering, to help me reach my goal weight eventually. But, I've also come to support you. PLEASE, if you do not already have an eating disorder DO NOT fall into it! It RUINS YOUR LIFE. Or, at least, that's what it feels like right now.
Your comments are greatly appreciated.
Maddie
Hi Maddie--
Welcome and good luck. Things are always hard in the beginning. And, well, they don't always get better as quickly or as easily as one would hope. But you're young and you've already taken the first step in admitting the problem and beginning recovery. Your wounds will heal with time, and as long as you stay positive and committed, your eating disorder will become a thing of the past.
I've dealt with the roller coaster of emotions involved with eating disorders. Try to just let it be and not get hung up on the "why" or "how". If you need to cry, let yourself cry. Though I don't know all the specific details of your situation, when I used to hurt myself, it had a lot to do with me bottling up my emotions and thoughts because they just didn't seem to make sense to me. I'd want to cry for no reason in the middle of the night or get suddenly angry and want to break everything. For me, it helps to start writing out what I am feeling and analyzing them. Afterward, I'm able to understand myself a little better--and I don't feel so crazy anymore.
I don't know if any of this helps you, but good luck and good health.
Cindy
Hi Maddie, welcome to the group! I really hope that we can help you in some way here and it's so sweet of you to offer support to us :) So far, this group has done me a lot of good and eases my mind in a lot of ways.
13 years old! You're so young! :( It seems like the victims of this disease just get younger and younger these days. I commend you for getting the guts to tell your parents about this! I know that must have been so hard. My ED developed around my 15th birthday and I hid the fact that I was starving/purging/going through depression for years. I was in denial for so long. But hopefully your family and doctor are being super supportive and giving you the help you need!
I also understand about not being able to tell your friends about this. A lot of awkward situations came out of me trying to hide my EDs from my friends. And the unstable emotions you speak of; it's crazy at how many ways this ED can affect you emotionally and physically. I've been going for 8 years with this disease and I still resort to crying for no apparent reason sometimes. Like cindolin said, though, if you feel the need to cry, just let it out!
Again, welcome to the group :)
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