New here and looking for support/suggestions

Hi, I just joined your site today after spending quite a bit of time last night reading some posts.  I am praying that joining this site will help me to stay motivated and on track.  I am in my 30's and have been overweight (obese actually) since I was in my teens.  Now I am severely obese and sick of myself.  I have only ever lost weight once (about 40 pounds) and it came back fast (as soon as I stopped trying).  I felt really good about myself (even though I still needed to lose more) when that weight was gone and swore that I wouldn't allow it to come back....not only did I gain back the 40, but also put on another 10 to go with it.

Every time I even start thinking about changing my eating habits (trying not to think of it as a diet) I immediately start feeling hungry.  I feel that I am totally addicted to food.  I know that probably sounds stupid, but I truly feel that way.  I love to eat and I eat a lot...mostly junk.  Which is how I got this way to begin with, I know.

A few days ago I decided to try the 3 hour eating that I hear a lot of people rave about.  I have since lost 3 pounds doing so.  The thing is that in between eating times (even though its ONLY 3 hours) I am obsessing about food and when I can eat again.  I am trying to stay at 1200 to 1300 calories (which is what the tools say I need to do in order to lose) but it has been very hard to so. 

It doesn't help that I can't get rid of all the junk in the house (I am married and have children), so it is around to tempt me all day.

I don't want to fail this time and I do NOT want any weight to come back.  I am hoping to lose 84 pounds by next April (actually I would like it to be sooner but I will settle for April).  That's less than 2 pounds a week so should be doable.  I'm just really afraid that I will quit like I always have in the past.

Any advice/support is greatly appreciated.

Starting weight - 235

Current weight - 232

Goal weight - 148

Congratulations on taking the first steps to help yourself!!!  And welcome!! :)

Even though you are married and have kids... doesn't mean you can't get rid of the JUNK food in the house!  Don't your kids deserve a good healthy life too???  Time to buy fruit and healthy things they think are snacks... but are good for them!   

I love food too!  I have bad days... but I'm doing the best I can to make healthier choices.  Also... I get to eat MORE food when it's the good stuff!!   Almonds, strawberries, apples, banana's, yogurt with fresh/frozen berries, coffee, dark chocolate... I'll take that stuff over the junk food any day!  

Have you tried keeping a food log yet?  Those help tons of people be aware of what they eat each day.    

Welcome aboard DT

Set short term goals.  Your goal weight loss of 90 lbs is setting yourself up for failure.  Set 10-15 lb goals and one you achieve, or get close to achieving, reset your goal weight.  I know your probably pressed for time with the family life, but are you able to do any type of exercise?  I, too, am severly overweight but have been able to knock off some weight by going 2 miles on a treadmill 4 days a week.

What worked when you lost the 40?  We are all in this together.  I will be a cheerleader for you if you want one.

JTH

Thanks coppertop and JTH for the welcome and advice!

I have started logging my food intake and to eliminate a lot of the junk food in the house.  But I have found it to not be possible (for us) to get rid of everything.  My children are very active and we feel they are ok with having the occasional treat.  But perhaps I can just buy something small...this way I'll know it is JUST for my kids and I would never deprive them of something so that I could pig out on it.

The 84 pounds is just my long time weight goal. For right now I do have a smaller goal of losing 30 pounds by August.

I have a gym membership but I don't use it as much as I need to.  I tend to go steadily for a week or so and then I find a reason to skip a day, then I'm skipping 2 days, then 3 and so on.  I tell myself that I wasn't seeing results from it anyway (and I wasn't...but then I wasn't really dieting either until now) so what is the point. 

Thanks again for your welcome!

Force yourself to go for a couple weeks...again, short term goals.  I have stretches where I don't drop anything on the scale and I have stretches where I lose a pound or two per day for a 4-5 day stretch.  Try weighing yourself once a week instead of daily.

Your story sounds eerily similar to mine!

I've been overweight most of my life and while obesity runs rampant in my family I know it's also cause I looooooooove food and I love to be lazy.  lol.  I definitely have a tendency to binge eat, emotionally eat, eat out of boredom, etc.

I lost 40 pounds a few years ago, felt great about it even though I had more to lose, then started gaining right back.  Quitting smoking last August piled the last 21 pounds on for me to hit 220 in mid March of this year (a pound heavier than I was when I started last time and my highest weight ever).

I've been counting my calories religiously every day (whether I eat well or not) and it really does help me make better choices.  I've also begun a learn to run clinic that truly is paced for someone just starting out and the small successes I've been achieving have really helped motivate me to continue.  I've lost 11 pounds so far in almost 5 weeks (I'm hoping to hit 12 when I weigh in tomorrow) and I've got lots of momentum to keep me going in this direction.

For big-time cravings I have two tricks I use:

1 - drink water.  It's possible you're just thirsty, but even if you're not, you're getting the oral fixation soothed and you get to feel something going into your tummy.  I sometimes pee every 30 minutes all day long which can get annoying but I also figure all that walking to the bathroom burns a few calories too.

2 - wait it out 10-15 minutes.  This can be difficult but I learned this from quitting smoking.  If you can get through 10-15 minutes the intense craving will more often than not disappear.  If you're still feeling intensely hungry after 15 minutes and you recognize it's hunger and not boredom/sadness/whatever else you probably truly need a snack.  That's when you find something healthy.

Thank you for everyone for all the tips and suggestions!  What great advice.

It is hard not to weigh myself daily...I just want to see if it is working, ya know.  But I will definitely try.

Hi, welcome to the site!

I am new also, although I have been losing weight since January, I have only been here since 3/25.

Although you have less weight to lose than I do, I still think you may be restricting your calories a little too low for the long haul of losing your entire excess.  Maybe you should consider re-configuring your calorie deficit to about 500 calories (about 1 lb/week).  1200-1300 calories is pretty punitive when you have a fair amount of weight to lose.  It would be much easier to ease into it at about 1500 calories (at least for me -- I am aiming for about 1800 per day which allows me some "treats").  What would 500 calories a day leave you?  As many people on the site have said, what difference does it make when you reach the goal as long as you get there.  You have to live for now as well as for the new, healthier future.  I have lost about 25 pounds from my high in January, and I already feel so much better, and it hasn't been much of a burden for me from a diet standpoint.

Also, if you don't enjoy going to the gym, consider finding some other way to get moving.  Excercise should be fun if you are going to do it consistently.  Personally, I do calisthenics each morning (only 15 minutes), Curves a few times a week, and walking on the other days.   I enjoy each of these activities, and it is easy to find the time for them, so I actually get them done.  Take care.

Thank you dkenworthy for your support and welcome!

You are most likely correct about the calories and I have a feeling I am not going to be able to stick to 1300.  I am not sure though that I should allow myself any treats (which to me would be a sweet?).  I know that as weak as I am, I would not stop at one bite or even two

Original Post by desperately_trying:

Thank you for everyone for all the tips and suggestions!  What great advice.

It is hard not to weigh myself daily...I just want to see if it is working, ya know.  But I will definitely try.

 I understand.  I weigh myself daily, but only log Saturday mornings   I like to get my number before I crap up the weekend.

So I should pick one day a week to log it in here and then maybe weigh myself daily to see if I need to step up exercising or tone down calories?

I am starting to think that maybe I am not eating enough.  I just realized that it is almost 9 pm and I am only at a little over 900 calories (according to my calorie log on here and I was sure to log everything I put in my mouth, including the juice I had with lunch).  I'm not really feeling hungry, but I felt this way last night when I went to bed and I woke up at 4 am starving. 

We have very simliar goals.  I'm 5'2" and weighed 235 pounds last May.  I lost 25 pounds by July/August by eating 1500 calories a day.  I took a few walks but mostly the loss was from just eating less.  I also had a cheat day once a week where I could eat up to maintenance (around 1800-2000 calories).  This kept me from feeling like I was deprived. 

I ran into some rough patched in life so the weight loss didnt' continue but the important part - I didn't gain it back because of what I've learned so far here.  I have restarted my weight loss mindset and hope to work my way down to around 135.

You can do it.

Awesome job losing the 25 pounds.  I hope I can say the same for myself soon!

The cheat day sounds great...but again I am afraid that I wouldn't stop.  That the one day would turn into 2 days and so on.  Maybe later on after I have lost some weight, I will feel confident in myself to give it a try.

Desperately trying- This site is AMAZING in so many ways:

• It helps you see what you are eating so you know what changes to make
• It helps you learn HOW your body loses weight (it took me some playing around and I eventually learned what balance of fat/carbs/protein and other things kept me consistently losing)
• You have GREAT support
• There are wonderful stories you can read that will help inspire you
• There's an "Ask the Expert" section if you don't just the advice of internet strangers

Give calorie counting a try for a month or so.  It can take a few weeks to figure out what works best for your body.  If you haven't seen drastic improvements in that time, then maybe there's a better method out there for you but I hightly doubt it.

As for your family eating sweets, you just need to keep stuff around for you that is sweet but healthier or lower in calories.  Instead of ice cream, I "binge" on 2 fudgsicles (80 calories total!) or VitaMuffin Chocolate muffins.  Take your time to start reading labels and you'll find healthier options that satisfy your craving.  Chocolate teddy grahams when everyone else is having Oreos is great for me.  I've also learned how to bake my favorite treats and make them healthier by using things like wheat flour and splenda.  If your family balks at a total switch, try baking cookies or cake with 1/2 regular flour and 1/2 wheat and do the same for yor Splenda/sugar.  You'd be surprised.  My family will drink Kool-aid if it's 1/2 Splenda  and 1/2 sugar but when I did the full switch over, they noticed and complained.  Either way, I know I'm making  it 50% healthier for them and that's better than nothing.

Thank you Kthompson!  Great ideas!

ETA*  I just took a look at your profile and you are doing amazing! 

I think I might just have to start a journal.  I never really put store in that before even though I know a lot of people do it.  But now I think writing down what I'm feeling might actually help with the weight loss.

1200 calories;/

what is wrong with people

try 1600

of course you will be hungry, the more your weigh, the more you are burning

starving is not good motivation

eating little on often is great though

it eventually leads to a smaller stomach

very quickly (like two weeks tops)

and this helps as well

remember to drink water also

or fluids

you'll also find the more nutritious foods you eat, the more full you'll feell

stay away from foods with MSG in them

make that your first priority

they make you feel hungry.

WOW...I didn't expect so many responses

Thanks everyone for all the great advice. 

The 1200-1300 calories a day I was going by was given to me by this site.  It said that was a safe number for me to lose the weight I need to lose.  But I was thinking last night that I might add in a few fruits even if it goes over 1300 by a little.  I just fear that I am going to be so hungry that I'll binge otherwise.

Water is something that I am definitely going to have to work at.  I just can't seem to acquire a taste for it.  But I'm forcing myself to drink it anyway.  I've heard that adding lemon makes it taste better, but I don't like it that way either (actually I like it less that way).

Original Post by desperately_trying:

Water is something that I am definitely going to have to work at.  I just can't seem to acquire a taste for it.  But I'm forcing myself to drink it anyway.  I've heard that adding lemon makes it taste better, but I don't like it that way either (actually I like it less that way).

Add a slice of lemon or lime.  Some folks also like fresh cucumber.  You could also drink decaf teas since that contains a lot of water.  I swear by Propel myself and at only 20 calories/bottle, I can have 2/day to supplement my "boring" water.

For the junk food in the house, one tip I have heard is to keep the junk food separate from regular food. For example, one family kept all the kid's junky food either out in a separate fridge in the garage or in one single drawer of the kitchen. That way it isn't in your face when you are rooting around looking for something to eat (and if it is in a drawer, it might limit the amount of junk your family is eating too.) Your family should be supportive of your efforts to be a healthier person, and if you put it that way I am sure they will work with you. :)

What I do for my sweet tooth is eat fruit. I keep frozen fruit on hand as well as fresh, and make a fruit smoothie most nights (last night was banana, blueberry, blackberry!) I also keep a lot of apples around, ready to eat when I get the munchies.

I dunno if this will be helpful for you, but I am on the <a href="http://www.drfuhrman.com/weightloss/about.asp x">Eat to Live</a> plan. It's a really excellent book, and even if you don't intend to follow the plan, it would be a wonderful read for anyone interested in health and nutrition. Dr. Fuhrman goes into great detail about what foods are healthy or unhealthy and why, with scientific studies and his professional experience to back it up.

It is kind of extreme compared to most people's normal diets, so I can understand if it wouldn't work for a lot of people. It works great for me because I am already primarily vegan and live in a vegetarian household. It's all about eating food with the highest amount of nutrients per calories, so you can have an unlimited amount of fresh fruits and veggies, beans and legumes. It means I never have to be hungry.

Thanks again everyone!  I can't believe how great you all are.  I guess I didn't expect so many people to care.

Awesome ideas from everyone, thank you!!!!