new, in need of friends

Hello everyone , i'm new to the forum and a little scared to post my weight on here but I know it will be welcomed as I am in good company , but i've browsed the topics and didnt find anyone I could relate to  in my weight range of over 350+. If you are, i'd love to chat about my concerns...

I am a 33yo female, 5'11. I work out at the gym with my partners no less than 4 days a week. I am extremly committed to ridding myself of this extra person I've been carrying around for the last 13 years!

This is a slow process but I am melting away gradually.. I am truly proud of myself and i crave the gym. when I am not there.. LOL

My partners found this sight so I can keep up with my calorie intake, what a God send!

I havent weighed myself yet nor will I. I am going by the way my clothes fit and feel on me as I progress.  I heard that is the best way anyway. I must say I have on my fat pants today that ususally give me a muffin top but I noticed it has melted away. So its apparent that what I am doing is working. 

Some things that concern me are: when I'm at the gym with my workout partners and they get on the scale to weigh themselves and they turn to me like they are waiting for me to hop on and I'm standing there with my eyes bulging like "I cant beleive you want me to do that in front of all these people"!  I know they love me and would never laugh at me but just the thought of someone finding out  my true weight makes me cringe ( just telling you guys is like a therapy session in itself). I guess I'm blazing a trail for someone else in my shoes.

I don't have the courage to tell them that my weight is not even ON the scale because it stops at 350! Even when I initially weighed  in at the gym the trainer said to me "we'll just pretend you're 350lbs so I can have a starting weight for your fit-track."  I wanted to crawl under a boulder and just die....

Can anyone relate?

WELCOME TO C-C. You've come t othe right place. I can't really relate to your story, but we are all here with the same goal.. to get healthy! Don't fret though, I know there are several people on here in your weight range, with similiar stories who can totally relate.

You can do it! I can tell by your post that you are totally ready for this commitment. I wish you the best of luck reaching your goals!

Sarah <3

sky, its hard to tewll ppl how much i weigh, that is true. I hate it when they ask me, usually what i tell them is that "i'll tell u whe i lose weight " haha. I preventt my bf to see my weight until one day he peeked while i was weighing n i got really pissed. But well, i think it might just a part of OUR insecurity. Everyone goes through such time, n believe me sky, u're not alone. ANd ur ecision to start in C-C is the best decision u'll ever have. Trust me, the ppl here are like family. We welcome u with a big big hugss. :)) Welcome Sky!

hey, girl. don't worry, you can do it! & you will. ;) i can't relate as in your weight, but i can definitely relate in being fearful of the scale & NOT wanting others to know it. I can remember times of not doing it in front of friends... friends that don't have a weight issue, will never know the exact number! my trainer knows & there were knots in my stomach as i had to step on the scale for my first meeting with her. I get knots in my stomach at the dr's office, too. UGGG. i know what you mean about wanting to crawl in a hole!

Plus, no sense in weighing at the gym anyway. if you're gonna weight, weigh at home or gym @ the same time/place each week. & no one but you has to know what it says!

i think you are right, though, in just not worrying about what the scale says & watching what your clothes do. At some point you'll be ready to get on that scale & when you do, you'll be thrilled at how much you've lost!!! But for now, just watch the clothes get baggy & yourself feel better. :) Scales are scary b/c sometimes when you've been working hard & they don't budge you think you aren't losing when really you are (sometimes the scale takes awhile to figure out what your body is doing!) ;) It can be discouraging when it shouldn't be.

i'm melissa but all my friends call me Mel. You're in the right place. I have been encouraged so much on here. I am 5'6, age 28 & i weigh 242 right now. I started at 249. It is slow for me...but it is happening. & it will happen for you too! :) :)

It sounds like you are on track to meet your goals. Good for you for making the commitment. Just remember, whatever you are, own it. You are working towards a healthier you! Good luck!

I can certainly relate to that.  At my heaviest, two years ago, I was 593 lbs.  I am currently living in a nursing home and involved in their weight loss program here and have dropped down to 317.8 as of today.  I do not like telling people how much I weigh and when it is time for the weekly weigh-in, I make sure I get an aide or nurse who won't blurt out the results for all to hear. 

Welcome. I'm also new and counting calories have been a great help. My story is different, but the important thing is that you have realize your problem and you are taking actions to resolve it.

Don't be afraid of the numbers, its just that, it does not represent you or who you are. People want to be with you just because the way you are, not because how much you weight. I'm sure you will take them off.

Remember it will take some time, but that happens to every aspect of life.

I will recommend you to weight yourself each week. Not weighting yourself has been debumked as a myth for not getting good results. On the contrary, if you a loosing weight, it will keep you motivated, if you are not losing you can make the necesary steps to fix the issue.

Wish you the best and keep it up, you are on the right track.

Im glad your here!!  Although I cant relate, I want to let you know were all here to support you!  and everyone else!  keep up the good work and you will get there!!!!

OMG, you all have made me feel so welcome! Thank you so much; words cannot express my gratitude, such positive words and motivation for me...and promt responses too!

Thanks a bunch guys. i am going to make myself an appt soon so i can see just exactly how much i weigh.  can you beleive i still dont know "exactly " what the numbers are? i do know last time i weighed in at the doctors office it was around 434...YIKES

I just joined C-C today...I am excited about talking with others in the same situation as I am.  I really need the calorie counting....I just don't seem to realize how many calories I am consuming.

To Sky...don't give up....5 years ago, I was 337 lbs.  Now I am 270.  But I didn't start losing weight until about 2 years ago.  I haven't lost as much as I could have, it has been slow going.  I was so reluctant to exercise and I give you so much credit for going to a gym and working out!  Kudos to you!!  I started a strength training program with a friend in October and it has been going good, but now the doctor keeps pushing me to aerobics....so I am going to give it a try along with walking a few times a week.  Please keep us informed....you are certainly an inspiration to me, as well as to others.  You keep me motivated, I'll do the same for you!

hi elissa!

congratulations on your loss.. i sure will do my best in keeping up the good work... we'll scratch each others backs! :O}

First off I want to say welcome skylarkredd69! That's awesome that you are so dedicated to going to the gym :) I'm just starting to get that way (even though some days I feel like I have to drag myself there..)
I personally can't relate to you in terms of weight (even though I'm a big girl. 200lbs at 5'2''). I used to date a guy that is 350lbs long ago. I know his weight bothered him even though he pretended like he didn't care :(

I think it's great that you want to change your life. Keep up the good work!

-Tiger

welcome to you too Elissa! You've done great!! Good luck reaching your goals!!

Sarah <3

thank you tiger..

skylark, welcome to CC, glad to see you here.

I, for one, understand what it's like to be the weight you are.  I started my 'diet' on September 3rd and weighed at least 413ish lbs.  I had been to my doctor in mid-August for some bloodwork and weighed in at 408 and I know I probably gained at least another 5 lbs (if not more) between the appt and diet start date.  At last weigh in (12/16/06) I was 390.2.  It will take time, but it will eventually come off.  Just hang in there.  You are doing well, keeping active.  I also understand about stepping on the scale at the gym - the scale at the gym I go to doesn't go up to my weight either.  I go with my husband and 12-yr old daughter and they are aware of why I don't step on the scale, and they know that I can't wait til I can.  I purchased a bariatric scale that goes up to 440 lbs and that is where I weigh myself.  It will be awesome when I can step on the scale at the gym and it registers my weight - even at 350!  When I had the meeting with the trainer I was honest about my weight and he suggested I start with just the stationery bike.  I have moved from the bike to resistance machines and the treadmill, so it does happen! 

Glad to see you here, welcome again, and holler if you need anything.  I'm usually around during the day.

Welcome to all the new members!! Your motivation is inspiring to me and helps me to keep my edge in my dedication to a healthier me.  The mutual support you can find here makes this a great site.  If you have a down day, there are people here to pick you up, dust you off, and get you back on track.  If you have a great day, the same people will cheer you on and pat you on the back with congrats.  The forum moderators have been on the site for awhile and have lots of good info to share.  I wish you all the best on your journey, be glad for the gift of each day and the chance to make a difference in your life and the lives of others.  Cheers!

I was never that large in my life, but many of my family members are and I do not fault them for it, it's the way we were brought up I just decided to end it with me, and start eating healthier after seeing that all of my aunts and uncles have blood pressure, cholesterol, arthritis and diabetes problems.

I think part of the problem of not weighing yourself is that you aren't accepting yourself for who you are.  

It is great that you are committed to changing your lifestyle and that you are getting yourself that much needed exercise in your everyday life but I think you need to get on a scale that will be able to weigh you and face the music.

If you're brave about it, you will inspire others to do the same thing.  Think of it this way, you'll never know really how much weight you lost until you start from somewhere!

All I know is that there are a few people on this site that have managed to drop 100+ pounds and they have more determination and willpower than I can ever imagine.  I lost 25 pounds and I found that very difficult.  At the end of the long journey to reaching your goal, you will discover how strong you can be.  It's more than just losing weight, you're gaining self-confidence, self-reliance, discipline and knowledge and it has nothing to do with how you will look at the end.

Welcome Skylark!  I've been where you are--I topped out at 486 in 2001.  Now I'm 272 (I had gastric bypass, literally to save my life)  It's hard.  Food will always be an issue for me.  I had gotten down to 167 about 15 years ago (Optifast, didn't last long at all...) and even then I was paranoid about getting on a scale in front of anyone.   I remember pre-Optifast getting on a postal scale at my friend's work because nothing else would weigh me.  I had to stand on the scale with a 55 gal drum of something, and then subrtract the weight of the drum from the total to get my weight.  Imagine seeing the scale say 755 pounds!!!! (Fortunately "only" 461 of that was me!)

Now I have a scale at home and weigh myself privately with no one looking.  Other than my mom (and on here!!) that number is a closely guarded secret that I will share with NO ONE!!!  Not even my best friend knows what I weigh.

Good for you working out at the gym so consistently!  I need to start doing that, but being in PT 3 days a week has kind of eaten up my exercise time.  When I finish PT, I am committed to using that same time frame to exercise.

All the best to you, and welcome aboard!  Wendy

I'm glad you've jumped on the bandwagon! You seem really dedicated, and that's important.

I can't necessarily relate to your situation other than I don't like to weigh at the gym either! Now I know that no one can see the number if they're behind me, which helps. It's nice to weigh before your workout and after so that you can see how much water you've lost.

Good luck!

Although I cant relate to your number, I can relate to what you said about telling us was "therapy." You are so right. The best thing to do is not kid yourself.

When I started here I was over 200 for the first time in my life, and would hide my weight even from my husband and be embarressed and ashamed and all that until I finally just started telling people...Yeah, I'm 205, and people were shocked that I just blurted it out, but it was therapy for me to tell. I could be matter of fact about it bc I knew I was doing somthing to change it. As the numbers dropped, I still kept announcing them...and it helped sooooo much.

That said, however, I encourage you to let it out as much as YOU can. If you are not ready, then dont. And I am happy you found such an awesome place, this is the best support for someone, really. When you are feeling unmotivated or like eating when you know you should not be, come here and use your journal or hit the forums.

Good Luck to you!! I hope to see many happy posts about your progress!!

at my heaviest I was well over 300 pounds. the heaviest specific weight I have on record is 312, though I could ahve quite possiblty been higher. I didn't take much care of myself in those days, and I had a lot of denial issues.

It can be changed however. I am now in the 198 range ( I haven't weighed in a week or so) and slimming. I feel so much better and like myself so much better, but it has been a slow and steady process with fits and starts.

I also find the idea of weighing in front of others too much to take. I prefer to weigh my self at home in private where only I can see. The only ones who need to know are me and my doctor, the rest are on a choose to share basis.

they are starting a WW group at work, and while I'm tempted to check it out, the idea of talking about my self and weighing in front of group seem too much for me to handle. I've done this well on my own, why do I need them. Sometimes I think I'm too independent for my own good.

I also tend to be very controlled, talking about how much I weigh with others, is like talking about how much I make, just a little to personal.