newly wed

me and my partner aren't ready for children we plan not to have children but we don't want to miss out on our sex-life. i was wondering what is the best contraceptive for women that will provide me the protection i need and to avoid any unwanted pregnancy. i've researched on all contraceptives so far i believe the female condom or the male condom is the best contraceptive but my partner is quite stubborn about condoms and the female condoms is too noisy to him and  he wants to feel naturally in me when we do it and wants to come inside me which i feel embarrased to say on here but i must know what work for women since i am a virgin im not so familiar with much of this 

can someone explain to me how do you know when your ovulating

surgery for me is no option and i heard the vesctomy good but doesn't it hurt for the male during sex ...where does all the sperm go if its staying in there would'n t that hurt that's dangerous some get lumps a lot of side effect

plz help whats the best contraceptive can't wait to hear some feedback

Original Post by vikifernandes:

surgery for me is no option and i heard the vesctomy good but doesn't it hurt for the male during sex ...where does all the sperm go if its staying in there would'n t that hurt that's dangerous some get lumps a lot of side effect

 

I'm pretty sure the sperm just gets re-absorbed into the body. Everything else comes out, just no baby-making worms.

really ok thnk you its just i dont want my partner to go thru a lot i've read a couple of men reviews on this procedure that complain about the side effects of what i listed above do you know for sure this is safe do you know any males who've gone under knife that has agreed with you thnk for your feedback

Some sperm are usually "taken up" or reabsorbed via pinocytosis in the epididymides pre-vasectomy. After vasectomy, this usual mechanism is overwhelmed by the amount of sperm due to blockage of the vas deferens from the procedure. so now that im well aware of this i thank you so much lori

Unfortunately, this is only completely effective in about half of vasectomized men and the other half find that their epididymides enlarge during the first year after vasectomy. For many, this eventually recedes and there are few consequences.

For others, the sperm "leaks" out of the epididymides and causes sperm granulomas (little nodules that can be painful) to form. The body forms antibodies against the sperm also. For some men this contributes to ongoing inflammation and can cause chronic pain in about 2 to 6% of men. For most men that develop pain, it goes away over time. For some it does not.

Chronic pain after vasectomy is the side effect that is most likely to affect quality of life.

Talking to a doctor might be helpful.

Im confused ... you are a newly married virgin? Or are you a virgin who is going to be married soon?

Condoms have a lot of downsides. They take time to apply, you have to remember to apply them, youll always have to make sure you have a constant supply, etc. Plus it doesnt sound like your guy is really a fan of this option.

For long-term protection that you dont have to even think about, try something like an IUD which lasts for 12 years or check out this birth control implant that lasts for 3 years.

Take this  birth control quiz that can help you weight which method works best for your needs and then go talk to a doctor.

How old are you? 

I can tell I'm ovulating by the discharge.

I just take the pill. It works fine. Great for monogamous couples who don't have stds, so I'd highly recommend it.

I hate condoms too. I mean, I'd use them if I weren't in a long-term relationship, but without feels much better. And female condoms - don't even go there! Like a big plastic bag you put inside you. Yuck.

Seeing as you're still young I'd hold off on the vasectomy. I think they can be reversed, but still - it means 2 surgeries in that case. If one of you changes your mind or your break up, it'd be a big hassle. But no, it doesn't make sex hurt.

I'm a little horrified that you never learnt about contraceptives in high school. I think sex ed should be mandatory.

Original Post by vikifernandes:

me and my partner aren't ready for children we plan not to have children but we don't want to miss out on our sex-life. i was wondering what is the best contraceptive for women that will provide me the protection i need and to avoid any unwanted pregnancy. i've researched on all contraceptives so far i believe the female condom or the male condom is the best contraceptive but my partner is quite stubborn about condoms and the female condoms is too noisy to him and  he wants to feel naturally in me when we do it and wants to come inside me which i feel embarrased to say on here but i must know what work for women since i am a virgin im not so familiar with much of this 

can someone explain to me how do you know when your ovulating

surgery for me is no option and i heard the vesctomy good but doesn't it hurt for the male during sex ...where does all the sperm go if its staying in there would'n t that hurt that's dangerous some get lumps a lot of side effect

plz help whats the best contraceptive can't wait to hear some feedback

 

Honestly, if you're married or planning on getting married fairly soon, condoms are kind of silly. Yes, barrier methods are the only methods that protect against STD's, but if the two of you are married, it's assumed that the two of you are going to be monogamous. In a monogamous relationship, STD's generally aren't a concern (as neither of you will be having sex with someone else who MIGHT have an STD, and then turn around and have sex with one another).

A birth control pill or an IUD is probably your best bet. Birth control pills, you can control, so you make absolutely sure that they're being taken correctly. With an IUD, you can get anywhere between 5-10 years of protection from pregnancy. You can get the implant, too, or the birth control shot. All of which won't require surgery of any kind (the IUD can be placed in a doctor's office with a local anesthetic), and all of which will keep your husband intact. Vasectemies can be reversed, if you guys were to later decide to have children, but the surgery to reverse it is not always successful.

Condoms require a lot of fumbling around. If you've never used them before, you might not know if they're placed right, they always have the potential to break during sex, and generally have a higher failure rate than most other methods of birth control (other than withdrawal and fertility awareness). Honestly, I wouldn't rely on them as long-term birth control.

I have the copper IUD, paraguard, and I love it. It is good for ten years and you really don't have to do anything after you have it inserted. I highly reccomend it!

My husband had a vasectomy about 5 years ago, and he's never had a problem with it.  There was a lump once, but it was small, not painful, and went away.  You should be aware that there is a risk that it could possibly reverse itself, and that a doctor might not want to perform it on a younger man with no children, (insurance may not cover it for one) because until you reach a certain age they're always worried you might change your mind.  For some reason, they aren't a strict about that rule with men as they are with women, though. 

Before that, I'd always used the pill.  When taken as directed, it's just as effective as a condom - all those stories you hear of women who got pregnant on the pill are usually because they didn't take it correctly or they were on a low hormone version (not as effective), although there is a tiny, tiny percentage of of women (.01% or .02%, I believe) who will get pregnant while on the pill.  It worked for me - I have two kids, but the were both planned pregnancies. For me, taking it every morning became a habit, so it wasn't a problem, but some women just aren't very good at remembering it.  IUD's and implants work too, and you don't have to remember to take the pill every day.

I did know a married couple who always used condoms, but that sounds annoying and expensive to me.  It worked for them, though.

Honestly, you need to talk to your doctor about this.  It's a personal decision, based on your body, your needs, and your preferences.  Take your fiancé with you, and take some time to talk about it after the appointment so you can make the choice that's best for you.

A good friend of mine had a vasectomy after he and his wife didn't want any more children, and he said there was pain at the incision site for about two weeks, but after that, it was totally fine.  Just like a normal surgery, I guess.

Other posters have recommended some really good birth control options: IUD, birth control pills, etc.  I personally use birth control pills and have never had any problems at all.  My boyfriend and I have been relying on them to prevent pregnancy for nine years, and they've done just fine.

I've been on a bunch of different BC, and I find that the IUD is the best, and cheapest in the long run.  Plus if you change your mind about kids it's easy to remove without any affect to your fertility.

But, you should really be discussing this with your doctor, who can help you and your husband find an appropriate birth control far better than a bunch of strangers.

I'm confused.  Weren't you the one who posted a couple of days ago that you didn't want children but your fiance, whom you live with, does?  Did you marry him since then?  You're a virgin but you've been living with your fiance?  I don't understand, what am I missing?

I'm pretty sure you have to have had a child to get an IUD.  Because your cervix has to be stretched.  (yes it hurts but only for a bit and it's less painful then when I broke my baby toe) 

I have the 5 year one.  I love it.  best side effect I spot one day a month and I mean super light spotting.  side effect 2.... is it has helped me lose weight.  Not having to worry about getting preg for weight loss( I tend to conceive as I drop weight)  And the last side effect I have (well hubby) has noticed is my moods are stable now I had major hormone spikes that caused me to be all over the place.

On to the vasectomy - I know 4 men that had it done.  The only complaint I have heard (through wives)  is the first day they are swollen.  You know how a gut will milk being sick.......  be prepared for the whining. they are such babies.

The nuva-ring may be a good choice since you put it in and leave it for 3 weeks then remove it then new one after 7 days.  It's like the crock pot of birth control set it and forget it.  I had it a 2 months before I had my son.  Would have gone back but we are done so I went semi permanent.

on a side note You may not want to go permanent because "what if" you change your mind.

Original Post by caverlady:

I'm confused.  Weren't you the one who posted a couple of days ago that you didn't want children but your fiance, whom you live with, does?  Did you marry him since then?  You're a virgin but you've been living with your fiance?  I don't understand, what am I missing?

 I noticed that too so I didn't bother posting.

uhh take birth control pills. Or have your husband get a vasectomy.