Note to Cat

Dear Cat,

I know you love me and want to be with me and cherish your every moment with me. HOWEVER... you are big and you are heavy and you take up all my leg space on the bed. That is why you got kicked out last night. I know that hurt your feelings and I am sorry, however it was that or continue to argue with you as I tried to sleep. Daddy NEEDS sleep so he can go in and work and buy you kitty kibble.

Please forgive me,

Your willing slave,
HK

Anyone else have any notes they want to send their cats?

Aww sucking his paw.  Wet paw to eye socket, LOL!

All these letters are so touching.  They're nice to read, it's been a helluva week and this is a nice reprieve.  Also seems pretty theraputic (sp?), so I'll join.

Dear Rockie,

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  You came into my life at a time where I needed a friend and had none.  You shared 18 years of your life with me and for that, I thank you.  I hate to think where I would be (or wouldn't be) had I not had you to lean on.  You were mean sometimes to others, and you would pee and poop on my ex....little did I realize, you were trying to tell me something.  We had a few good laughs over those, you and I.  You were my little shining light, my reason to continue, you have no idea what you have done for me and I only hope that someday I can repay the favor.

All my love~Tatjana

Dear Duvessa,

I understand you have had a rough life.  8 years and three homes, but now...you're home for good.  You're here and we're not letting you go, you are one of our fantastic family and we plan to keep it that way.  You've been with us for over a year now, please consider this "home".

With that being said....maybe we could stop pooping directly outside the litter box, okay?   Maybe you could have a little chit chat with Penelope and Milo and talk about ways you can handle the stress.  Speaking of which...I know it's hard and sometimes we turn to food for support.  But really, this emotional eating is a little out of control.  I know it's prescription diet food...but still, when eaten in mass quantities (please stay away from Penelope and Milo's bowls), it is no more diet food than anything else eaten in bulk.  You are a svelt 26 pounds and have a hard time walking...we want to see you enjoy life...and we will help you, but you have to want help.  You have to want to play with us, not just when the toy or laser light happens to hit your paw.

Love and Support - Tatjana

Dear Milo,

You're the man.  We love you and are so happy you are in our lives.  You touch everyone you come in contact with.  We love your little quirks, such as racing us to the chair we want to sit on and racing us to the bathroom so we can turn on the faucet for you.  We didn't go out and spend $100 on a fountain water bowl for nothing you know, that was all for you.  ....do you think maybe you could use it?  

...and thanks for all the quiet time you spend with me...you're really a pretty amazing cat.  And congratulations on your weight loss!  You're doing awesome big man.

Love~Tatjana

Dear Penelope,

Leave the dog alone.  He's here to stay.  Whether you look like a cotton ball or a cat...it's doesn't phase him.  Please stop taunting him and then getting upset when he's all riled up.  He's 12 weeks old...he doesn't know any better.  Please talk to Milo and Duvessa about some ways you can cope with his being here.  We love you all and want everyone to get along.  I know the schizophrenia can get in the way sometimes....but he's just another being in the house with us.  You've done so well with the rest of us, please just accept him.

Love~Tatjana 

Dear Tallia,

I know you don't like any animals other than your brother.  I know you like to go on walks with me.  I don't know why you insist on trying to start fights with all the other cats in the neighborhood and then expect me to save you when they come after you. 

Dear Gandalf,

Why oh why do you insist on laying down on the front steps at the exact moment I am trying to step on them?

Dear Ollie

I know you longed to be outside for so long and you are probably truly happy now, but we do miss you sooo much.  I do not miss the smell of your urin on my carpets, and curtains, the extra hair floating all over the house, chasing you outside or the hairballs you threw up.  But your big fulffy tail and your head butts and many many suggles are truly missed.  Enjoy the farm and the chickens and continue giving those dogs a run for the money.  I will not visit as I know you are no longer my Olliebutt or my Sir Ollie-fur-shedding ,but now one of the tomcats.

Ok, i didn't know this would make me cry.  Is that therapuetic???

Dear Daisy, Buzz, and Doodles,

I am very sorry that we brought that huge freight train into the house called Ginger. 

Daddy bought a truck and thought he would look even cooler with a dog in it.

It has been a year now, you guys can relax, she is not going to eat you.

Mom

 

 

You guys are hilarious.

Dear Douglas,

I've never had a pet before you, and now I understand how people have such a deep bond with their pets!  You're pretty much the greatest ever.  But Doug, there are a few things we need to talk about.

The vet said you'd be huge, but at 1 year old you are now full-grown at 15 lbs.  Its gotta stop there, Doug.  Science Diet is expensive.

Yesterday, when you slammed into my computer desk and broke my flash drive, I wanted to kill you.  Literally.  But you're kind of cute so I spared your life... again.

I know you get all riled up when I come home at night cause you are alone all day, but the biting has got to stop.  I'll have your teeth removed just like I removed those claws.  Don't test me, Doug!  I bought some toys and we play every night.  Maybe if you exert a little more energy while we play, you'll leave my wrists/forearms alone.  We're coming up on my 8-scar limit already.

I hope you enjoyed your first experience with catnip yesterday.  That will be a Sunday treat from now on.  I'll just have to brush you after because all that writhing about on the carpet is going to tangle your fur.

See you soon,

Lisa

Dear Cat,

Yes, I love you. When I am sick, that means I need to sleep more. That means, yes, that I am in bed more. Your favorite place for me to be so you can bounce me and sleep on my check and headbutt me.

HOWEVER, when I am sick, I am also cranky and do not WANT to be headbutted. I just want to sleep.

I am writing this in the hopes that you understand that.. I am SICK.. and stop holding it against me I kicked you out.

Love,

Your poor sick but still willing (mostly) servant 

Dearest Buddy,

 Please don't try to have sex with Lucy.  It's creepy and weird, and HEY! You were neutered when you were a kitten. You should neither want to have sex, nor know how. If you have been watching kitty porn, stop it.  Kisses and snuggles and  crazy yowling galloping games are fine, but please sir, draw the line.

Thanks for the long lap-sit last night.  I really didn't want to get up and clean anyway.

Dear Snickers -

I understand that hairballs happen.  But must they happen in the dead of night and in the direct path from my bed to the master bathroom?  I mean really, you have lots of other rooms to choose from for this.  Why must it be hacked up right there?  It was most unpleasant at 3 a.m. today.  Not to mention that I then had to clean the carpet and my foot.

Next time I am sick, I am going to throw-up right by your favorite spot to sleep.  Turnabout is fairplay, right?

Your not so loving (at the moment)

Mommy

Dear Oliver,

My first born, my lovely, spoiled, fat cat; the dog is here to stay. We talked about this before bringing her home and you agreed to help with the responsibility, you can't back out now!

I know when I'm at work you stand 2 feet from the doggy gate, just out of reach of her paws and tease her all day long. So don't get upset that when I get home and let her out she pounces on you...you deserve it!

Last week I was trying to take a bath, the puppy and you were running and playing and you decided to jump up on the edge of the bathtub; didn't think very far ahead, did you? The puppy pushed you right in. I had a wet cat, wet dog, and a wet me with scratches, it wasn't funny at the time, but now I can laugh.

I love you...but please stop torturing the puppy.

Your always there food provider,

Mommy

PS: I also don't enjoy you repeatably hitting the door stopper at 3am just to hear that "boiiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg" sound, so stop it.

Dear LOA,

Your our "Little Orphan Annie" and I'm so glad you decided that the doggie door we used to have was for you and moved in with us.  

 I know you are sad and bored now that Apollo, Tina and Zak have gone to doggie and kitty heaven over the last couple of years, but rest assured we are looking to get you a playmate.  Unfortunately this is just the wrong season for kittens.  You'll have to wait a few more months (although I am keeping my eyes peeled).

Also, I know you don't like "daddy" being gone, but he will be back Saturday.  Please, please stop waking me up at 5 am as you have done every morning this week, especially since you don't seem to want anything except to know why "daddy" isn't in the shower.  

Love Mom 

I have to join in here, I love to read these letters.

Dear Shango,

May you rest in peace.  Even though you died more than a year ago my heart is still broken I miss you so much.  You used to sleep curled up in a ball against my neck, I would rest my cheek on the top of your head and we fell asleep every night just like that.  You always would follow me around and when ever I would look at you would would meow at me with half closed adoring eyes.  Oh how I adored you, and how I miss you terribly.  I know that you suffered when you died, I didn't realized that you were dying, I am a stupid human and you hid your sickness well.  I am so sorry that there wasn't more I could have done for you, if only I would have  noticed your weight loss and taken you to the vet earlier, but it was too late when I finally realized that something was horribly wrong, you were only 6 years old, too young to die.  And December in Alaska was a terribly lonely place and time to die, and you died just when I needed you most.

Dear Scooter,

I know that you missed Shango when he died.  You were very lonely for a long time after that.  Thank you for your forgiveness when I brought you with me back down from Alaska.  You were locked in that tiny cloth cage for almost a solid 24 hours as we flew on four planes, with three layovers.  But you love me anyways.  Then when we came to Houston, you would yowl sounding despare at the stray cats you would see outside, even though I had to sleep.  Then I adopted the new kitten from the shelter, and you hated her at first, hissed and spit, but you eventually began to like her, and now I am glad I got her, because you and her are as in love as I have ever seen any two creatures in love before.

Dear Sidra,

You are still young, I only adopted you in July, but you have quickly turned into my special girl.  You sleep on my chest as I watch TV.  But I don't much appreciate you touching your nose to my nose, your nose is wet and cold.  And I also don't appreciate you licking my arm, your toungue hurts.  And you have proved to be one of the most peculuar cats that I have ever had the way you nurse the bathroom throw rug while I am sitting on the toilet. 

To the both of you,

I am going to appologize in advance for getting pregnant.  I didn't mean to, but I am going to keep this little angle growing inside of me.  But I know you won't much appreciate it when he/she starts to wail at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night as the three of us are sleeping peacefully in bed.  So please forgive me, but we still have five months of peace so lets enjoy the quiet time we have together before our lives become caos.

Your adoring human slave

Chris

This is just so cute.

Dear Dozey,
You are the light in my life, and even after seeing it all I still have to laugh when you starting meowing at birds through the window. I have been with you since birth and have enjoying every moment.
I know you had missed your sister and Spooky, that is why I brought you for a visit when I went on vacation. I must admit mom told on you, I know you were hiding all week.
I am also sorry I brought you a new kitten. I tought you would like teasing him like you always did your sister, but no. I'm sorry he is so active.

Your fascination with me and the bathroom have to stop though. I know this gives you one on one time with me but I really don't need you biting my feet at this time.
And yes I know my alarm is going off, I don't need you reminding me by meowing in my ear and biting my arm. I will wake up sooner or later.

Dear Kitten,
Why must you pick on dozey? He likes you but needs a break. You are getting to big to try and get piggy back rides from him.
How can you always be hungery? There is a huge bowl of food waiting for you in the kitchen. Why must you have everything that me and daddy are eating. You are already 8lbs and you are not even a year old. Slow down, you still have time.
Why must I always be the one to pick you up. Is it really so bad you need to sit inbetween my feet and look up at me? How about not running infront of me when I am going into the kitchen, I will fall one day.
And those claws, They seem to be bigger then your paws, please keep control of your self, my feet need a break.
One last thing, would you mind moving about six inches to the right at night so daddy can enjoy you taking up half of his side of the bed for once...

Love you both,
Mama

P.S. Kitten don't hump Dozey! He don't swing that way.