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Nutritionist and weight goals?!

hey,

my doc and N they keep saying 'u need to be to 95 lbs (i am 5'2) and that is a bmi of 17.4....i don't think that's healthy in my rational side, but ed likes it even though 95 seems like alot of me...i am currently about 77-78 lbs i just weighted in this morning and gained 2.4 lbs in 10 days ekks! ed is going crazy! but i am trying to stay focused and not let it upset me...i have been at 2200 cals for 16 days now, and in total gained 3.4 lbs on this. BUT I AM up from 12.4-14.3i n the past 2 months 1 week...am going crazy thinking i should stop gaining, my metabolism is so slow?and i gain so much on under 2500? it makes me so angry...+ i dont know if i should increase ever...and when to stop gaining...i feel like i look normal now even though i am 14 ish bmi...ugh!

but my idea of a good weight is so messed up and i feel like i would look giant at anything over 86 ish :(  and i should weigh that, like in June i was not even 18 bmi and i was so fat...ugh..I HATE ED and these lies and i just feel lost! now i am just so triggered! and so scared! :( what to do...?! i dont even know.

Okay Maya - I need you to calm down and look at things rationally. 

"I just weighed in this morning and gained 2.4 pounds in ten days."

Sweets, if you were in IP - you know that would NOT be acceptable. Average goal = 2.5 pounds every 5 days. Also, you KNOW that you are trying to increase your sodium levels, which will cause some slight INITIAL fluctuations, but once your body adjusts to taking in more salt it WILL level out. 

"BUT I AM up from 12.4-14.3i n the past 2 months and am going crazy, thinking I should stop gaining"

That is NOT you saying that, its anorexia. Maya knows 14.3 is not a healthy BMI and that is she still at grave risk for death. Any one of your organs could fail while you are sleeping. Yeah, you are slightly better off than you were, but you are FAR from being healthy. ED is causing you to have HUGE misperceptions about your appearance and what healthy truly is.

Your body will gain on whatever it is that it needs to gain on. I was gaining slowly on 2200-2400 too. BUt I decided for myself that if I was going to gain weight, I would do so on a real gainer's diet. I ended up having to eat 3600-3800 calories a day because I gave my body a surplus of calories to use for rebuilding and restoration - not the bare minimum. That is the only way to snap out of starvation mode. I know its scary, but it IS what you need to do if you want to repair your body and your metabolism. 

Bottom line: You know you need to eat more. So do it. We've been telling you 2500 for quite some time now. Yeah - you may gain a bit more than you are used to initially while your body adjusts to the consumption of more food. But it will level off and your metabolism will get a nice kick start. 

You need to stop focusing on the things your ED tells you. Write down your goals for calories, make up meal plans and stick to them. That's what I had to do to get myself on track. For me, writing things down made it concrete and gave me the ability to say "This is what Victoria wanted to do. And I will listen to that, not the ED thoughts I'm thinking right now in this moment." The fear will never go away on its own Maya. You've got to look it right in the eyes and do what you know is best anyways. You can't keep cowering and trying to avoid a confrontation with the ED. You're going to feel like crap no matter which way you go with this - you know that. So you might as well choose the path that will lead you to greater happiness and freedom. 

BTW - please don't ever hesitate to email or message me on FB. I'll do whatever I can to help you and be there to listen. 

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gi-jane...what???....i didnt promote a starvation or pro ana message that i can see of?

and thank you lovely Tori..u are the best as u know i love you :) and i do know 2500+ will retsore my organs and met. like in the spring up to almost 3000 and then my metabolism was quite high and normal etc..i need to suck it up. and as u said

"You need to stop focusing on the things your ED tells you. Write down your goals for calories, make up meal plans and stick to them."

definably!!  will do..and i will def email u fb or anything , thank you girl! ..i prob shouldnt even post on cc just email u lol. u always help so mcuh.

im not sure i can add any more than rebelchick you always give the best advice :)

maya i can totally relate to your fear . ive been there where you have. i know its hard but you need to stick with it consistancy is the key . at present your metabolism will be very slow you are still so very starved and undernourished . your body will respond and your metabolism will speed up. i was eating 2500 and gained 3 pound in a week i ate the same this week and i lost a pound , i had the same fear as you , my metabolism has speeded up . try not to think  about numbers and bmi , just concentrate on eating and getting healthy my bmi is 17 at the mo from 10 , when i was at 10 the thought of getting to even 15 scared me , but as you gain your mind becomes healthier to and ive learned to accept that , im still worried but im determined to get to at least a bmi of 20. hang on in there it will  get easier and we are all behind you . well done on your progress    h xxx

no, i agree with GIJANE

youre health is at such a dangerous risk, a stupid little internest site is NOT where your guidance should be coming from.  there are no medical doctors here to give u firsthand suggestions based on YOUR health status.

again, ur health is at such a risk rt now, no one here through the internet can be the best help, stay with medical doctors.

Original Post by agruskin:

no, i agree with GIJANE

youre health is at such a dangerous risk, a stupid little internest site is NOT where your guidance should be coming from.  there are no medical doctors here to give u firsthand suggestions based on YOUR health status.

again, ur health is at such a risk rt now, no one here through the internet can be the best help, stay with medical doctors.

Agreed.

If you're gaining on 2200 calories, why not gain on 2500+? I doubt there'd be any difference to how quickly you gained; and after all, it doesn't matter how quickly you gain.

Also, a BMI of 17.4 is NOT a good goal. It is not even out of the anorexic range. Your doctors are probably telling you that so as not to scare you into relapse, and they are also probably suggesting it as an initial goal. When you get to 95lb you'll feel healthier, stronger, and happier, and be able to keep on gaining to a healthy weight. Once weight restored you'll then be able to fight the issues that contribute to the ED.

By the way... the more you eat the quicker your metabolism will speed up, as Helen said.

i think i've responded with something similar before, but i think it would help if you try to stay present & not think too much about future weight goals - i know that's really, really hard. i spend a lot of time worry about the future myself, but when i can pull myself back to the present it helps a lot.

right now, you're not even at that 86lb number yet.  maybe that could be your first goal, and you could worry about the rest later. every time you start thinking about 95 - is it too high? is it too low?, you could try to remind yourself, "my first goal is to get to 86.  i need to keep eating to get to 86"  and maybe, by the time you get to 86, the ED voice will be a little weaker, and the healthy maya voice will be a little stronger.