W.o being mean&condescending, can you help?

ive noticed that A LOT of adults that reply on forums are really quite rude and mean to the younger people. so, if you can answer my question without being rude, telling me i'm disgustingly unhealthy (or insinuating it), or telling me i mustn't lose any weight, I'd really appreciate it :)

i'm 15, 5'4, built to be small. i dont feel comfortable disclosing my weight or goal weight because of people being really rude about it in the past. i sit in school all day, but walk to and from the gym, where i typically exercise for 90 minutes 5-6 days/week. i do weight training every other day. CC says i should be eating ~1200 cals (i find it hard to even get that high eating healthy), and that i burn ~1500 cals on a do-nothing day.

i have IBS and avoid dairy and red meat like the plague. i'm on a birth control pill. i take vitamins to fill in what i cant get from food; my doctor knows this.

i'm trying to lose around 10 lbs. should i be eating more? (i think so) what should i expect if/when i start doing so?

1.  Unfortunately, it is virtually impossible to offer advice on how to lose weight without knowing the starting point.

2.  I'm a little concerned that you find 1200 calories difficult to get to, particularly as 1500 is the minimum recommended for teens.  You are also probably burning far more than 1500 calories -- even if simply laying on a bed -- you are minimally moderately active. CC's calculators were designed for folks over 21.  You should be using this calculator:

http://www.bcm.edu/cnrc/bodycomp/bmiz2.html

I'm going to guess that you wish to weigh between 115-120 lbs -- which is still a healthy range for a girl your age.  According to the site above, you are considered very active -- and should be eating 2800+ to MAINTAIN (at that weight).  So, to lose, and do it smartly (most likely to be maintained), you would cut between 250 and 500 calories from that.  So, eating between 2300-2500 calories per day.

It is not really that difficult to eat a healthy diet and still eat 2500 calories -- you simply need to choose calorie dense foods, and be very wary of "diet" foods.  Fixating on salads tends to fill one up with not very many calories --  not what you are looking for.

Many IBS sufferers can tolerate yogurts -- a greek yogurt (high in protein) might be a good start there.  Nuts are a good calorie dense food.  Beans, etc.  I'm sorry, everyone's IBS symptoms seem to manifest themselves in different ways and with different trigger foods.  Hard to suggest foods/meals.

When you first start upping your calories, you can expect a temporary weight gain -- this is mostly water and should work it's way out in a few weeks.  Jumping from <1200 to 2300 might be a bit of a jump -- go to 1500, then 1800, then 2300 -- and for goodness sake -- BE PATIENT

Original Post by bxca:

ive noticed that A LOT of adults that reply on forums are really quite rude and mean to the younger people.

We're not rude to younger people that are overweight and wanting to correct that.   However many young people mistake this website for a 'pro-ana' site, the type of place that encourages disordered eating behaviour, which is completely unacceptable & also dangerous.  We do not support children who are a healthy weight and wanting to render themselves underweight with starvation diets. 

According to your profile you are 117lbs.   If you check  http://www.bcm.edu/cnrc/bodycomp/bmiz2.html (because the CC calculcator is not calibrated for under 21s) wou will find that 117lbs is a healthy weight for someone 5'4".  Losing 10lbs would therefore be highly inadvisable.  Not because it is an unhealthy weight for you but because, at 15, your body needs good nutrition in order to grow strongly and develop correctly.  Any kind of calorie-restriction could compromise this.

You'll also find from the chart that to maintain your current, healthy weight and for your body to be in good physical shape you need around 2800 cals per day.  If you want to be 'toned and have abs' then you need to take in plenty of energy (calories)..... body-builders don't look like that by dieting.   Choose good quality foods, eat regularly and you'll be in very good condition.  You may gain some weight in the very short-term but the effect would only be temporary.

Original Post by bxca:
should i be eating more? (i think so) what should i expect if/when i start doing so?

When you start eating enough to fuel your body, your brain, and your exercise program you should expect:

• To have more energy to work out harder and get that toned look you want.
• To have more energy to fuel your brain, have good concentration in school, improve or maintain your grades, and set yourself up to be a productive adult.
• To build a strong skeleton, so you won't have a widow's hump and agonizing pain as you get older.
• To build a strong immune system so that you won't be as likely to get sick.
• To have great hair and skin, so you will be more attractive.
• To sleep better, so you have more energy.
• To feel more alive!

Short-term, you may gain a little weight (mostly water) while your system re-sets itself.  How long depends on how long you have been overly-restricting your diet. 

If you have a hard time getting to your calorie goal with healthy foods, remember that calories are a part of good nutrition.  Those of us who are fat need to be careful to get high nutrition foods that don't put us over our calories, you can be do the opposite, especially early in the day so that you don't find yourself at the end of the day looking for a bunch of calories to get up to where you need to be.  Eat a good breakfast, include whole grains, protein, fruits, and vegetables in each meal and snack, don't be afraid of healthy fats like olive oil, peanut butter, nuts, avocados, egg yolks.

Establish a healthy relationship with good food and reasonable movement and your body will take care of you for the rest of a (with luck) long life.

Your body will change a lot as you get older. I think it's a great idea to try and eat healthy (I sure didn't) but I wouldn't worry to much about restricting amounts. Young people continue to grow!

After I joined this site and stopped to think about it, I realized that my body is sure a lot different than when I was a teenager. I actually have a shape -- hips, boobs, the whole bit. I didn't have that when I was young.

Growing bodies need food.

I'm 24, I don't really consider myself an "Adult" but then again, when I was 15 I thought that 24 was old.  Please don't take this condescendingly because in my heart I don't mean to be.  We have a lot in common because I am also shorter, with a smaller frame and when I was fifteen, I was also 117 and wishing to lose a few.

DO use this site to make healthy choices.  But instead of just counting calories, focus on trying to ensure your body is getting what it needs (its pretty easy on this site with the analysis tool).  Make sure you are not taking in too much fat but that you are getting the right amount of vitamins, proteins, carbs, etc.

Then..and here is the most important part: Listen to your body.

If you are doing everything right, eating a balanced diet, keeping your portions and snacking under control, and exercising a bit everyday, in a healthy BMI but you are not losing any weight or inches that is your body trying to tell you something.  Its trying to say 'Hey, you're doing the right thing, its working, and I like it this way"

It is definitely true that your body will change drastically in the next few years.  Places that were fleshy or had "baby fat" with slim out naturally, and you will get a little bit more fatty tissue in places you never had it before.  This is perfectly normal and more importantly...a good sign of good nutrition.  The most important part is to maintain your healthy eating habits and staying active.  Eventually, it will all even out.

At your age and height, you are at a healthy weight...this is not my opinion, this is not my judgemental advice, that's just medically accepted fact.  But I sympathize with your longing to be a bit slimmer because I was the same way.  However, if you are anything like I was, in a few years you might look back and think "Wow, I looked great back then and I totally didn't appreciate it"

Please understand that the adults are not meaning to be rude.  Most of us are here because we have let things get out of control and we are ready to make healthy changes and relearn how to eat.  We get really frustrated when this wonderful and FREE tool is abused by people that weigh 98 lbs and are trying to get down even lower (and there's a lot of people on this site that do that).  Because you are at a healthy weight, it is easy to assume (probably not rightfully so) that you could be grouped into this group or are in danger of joining this group.  I hope you can see from our point of view...we are not looking down at you or being condescending...from where we sit, we might be potential saving you or others from heading down a VERY dangerous road.

Perhaps I'm rambling, but I hope that something I've said speaks to you and I hope that you percieve it as it is meant...with heartfelt concern and empathy.

The adults aren't being rude, they're concerned.Not only are they concerned, but they're probably tired of seeing posts that detail the lifestyles of young girls with disordered eating.

im recovering from an mulitple EDs and i find it quite easy to eat over  1200 when eating healthy. and i have lost weight from eating more. LOST. right now im working my way up to 1800 calories.

you're eating WAY to little not just in general, but especially for someone who does that amount of exericise (which is an absurd amount btw)

yes, im criticizing you, and no, im not an adult, im a 17 year old girl

(i dont know if this replys to everyone or not)

thanks for answering :) i'm trying to up to 1400-1500 for the next few weeks, and then hopefully 1800 ish (based on the info from the BMI link) or more (training for a half marathon soon :D :D)

really really appreciate your replies. its easy to forget sometimes that i'm still actually not a grown-up, no matter how much i feel like i am, and to jsut chill out and be good to me.

Original Post by bxca:

(i dont know if this replys to everyone or not)

thanks for answering :) i'm trying to up to 1400-1500 for the next few weeks, and then hopefully 1800 ish (based on the info from the BMI link) or more (training for a half marathon soon :D :D)

really really appreciate your replies. its easy to forget sometimes that i'm still actually not a grown-up, no matter how much i feel like i am, and to jsut chill out and be good to me.

2800 surely... not 1800.   If you're in training it would even need to be higher than that.  

You asked for people to understand that you're not a grown-up and to be good to you ...... it would not be being 'good to you' to say... go ahead, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing.     There are quite serious dangers in taking a young, unfinished body, restricting calories severely and then adding in very heavy-duty exercise on top.  The combination of energy deprivation, malnutrition and heavy exercise can weaken the body and put it under strain at the same time.  At best you can end up tired, lacking in energy, anxious, prone to illnesses... at worst you can actually end up dead with heart-failure

So please do listen to everyone.  You're not overweight, you don't need to lose weight and you need good nutrition and plenty of energy to function and train the way you intend.   2800 rather than 1800....  Or you're going to be really sick.

ohm ok, i didn't really realize i would need to eat mroe for that. kind of a  duh moment, thanks! :D

People have given you some good advice. I hope you really learn a lot from it.

What I really wish is that I learned the things that people are telling you now @ your age. (I'm 23 now) It would have helped me so much to have heard it. I am pretty sure I would have listened, cause I wanted to feel and look better. Just did not know how. I actually was borderline obese for much of highschool, and I have lost and gained 50 lbs 2 times over in the past.

Learning to commit to liking my body and eating the amount I need has been awesome. Since being on here, I only ate too little one day when I was sick. But as long as I am physically able, I do the best I possibly can to nourish my body well. I love feeling healthy and strong.

Make sure you are eating enough. Not too little, and you will have a healthy metabolism for life, to where maintenance is easy. After doing a bunch of fad or low calorie diets, things can be really out of sorts. The reason I have had so many weight gain periods in the past, I now realize is becuase I probably lost too quickly when I lost. Good for you for working out. It is so important to stay active. But that active body needs plenty of food