Objectify me!!

My roomate and I were at a bar last night. Ok, so we probably shouldn't have been there. Drinking even more (after lots of sake with our sushi dinner and lots of wine for dessert), playing pool--or TRYING to play pool--and doing it poorly, and he trying to hit on women (he's really very terrible at that sort of thing but desperately wants to meet a lady). It would've been best for us to be at home, making drunken fools of ourselves privately. But I was feeling punchy. So I drag my roomate bar-ward so I can take my aggressions out on the pool table and a couple tumblers of gin. Oh so very healthy, I know.

While playing pool, a frat guy bumps in behind me, messing up my shot. " 'Scuse me, ma'am,"  he slurs.

Ma'am? MA'AM?!? What am I, freakin 80? I am not a ma'am, sonny! Holy hell. I can't believe he called me ma'am!

So I stomp over to my roomate, raging. "That f***ing frat guy just called me "ma'am"!" My roomate, incredulous, pauses for a minute. Then he says with a smirk, "I'm sure he was just being polite. It's not that big of a deal."

Polite? POLITE!?! I don't want men in bars to be polite! Even if they are frat guys! I don't want them to think I'm so OLD or delicate that I have to be someone they have to be polite to! What happened to men calling me 'hot mama' or 'smokin' fox' or even 'sexy b**ch'. Hell, I would've LOVED it if he would've said "nice rack" or "outta my way, hot pants" or "that's a damn fine ass you've got there, sweetcakes." Or just anything, so long as it's objectifying. Something that let's me know I'm one FINE piece of meat.

Look. I already KNOW I've got brains. And sometimes charm and personality and wit as well (and obviously in spades, after so much gin). I don't need men to comment on those things. But I don't always feel young and hot and sexy. So, please, guys. Please. I beg you. For the love of all that is holy: OBJECTIFY ME!!! Call me chick and babe and fox and broad. Comment on my body parts I work so damn hard to be lean and perky. Notice my legs and call them gams. Take a long look at me from top to bottom. Linger at the bottom for awhlie if you like. I don't run up mile-long hills just to have my ass go unappreciated. So go ahead. Take a good long gander. Let out a long, slow whistle while you do it too. And raise your eyebrows if you're impressed. Yes. I am an object. A fine, shapely one at that. You might even be able to bounce a quarter off of parts of me. And I work damn hard to make me that way. So look and comment and appreciate my obect-ness. Please!

Sheesh. Damn feminists. Ruined it for all us sexy broads who like being recognized as such.

I still remember my first Ma'am.....yep didn't like it at all.

Then there was the time I was in the bar - I never go to the bar - this was extraordinary circumstances - This man told me I was the hottest older lady in the bar.....Thanks buddy...I wouldn't touch his drink with a ten foot pole after that one!!  But I still get a chuckle over it.  I am quite sure he goes home alone most evenings... :) 

Now that I am over 40..sigh...these things are just not important anymore - I AM sexy and I prove it to the one I love every chance I get!  And life is good!  :)

I know exactly how you feel!  I had a young boy call me ma'am a few years ago when I was in my early 20s.  I realize he was probably under 10, but it made me feel so old!!!  I'm not a ma'am!  I'm too young for that!  My husband thought it was the funniest thing ever.  I'm like you, though.  I was stick skinny in high school and the beginning of college, and I was used to being oggled.  I want that back! LOL!  Seriously though, when you start getting admired less and less, it's a real blow to the self esteem.  Sometimes I wonder what happened to me.  I don't think I look that much different, but I have put on weight.  I don't know, but it can be depressing. 

wow, now I've heard it all...  if you can be upset by politeness, you can be upset by anything....

what were you wearing? was it suitably provocative?

LOL - that was funny!  Sorry... I know you're, um, upset, but some people turn funny when they're mad.

Just out of curiosity - how old are you?

I encountered "maaam-ness" one day at the bar when a waitress carded my husband but not me.  We are the same age, for goodness sake! I'd strenuously object to any "hot pants" comment, but realization that other people perceive you as old or even old-er was not pleasant.

Hah!  Just wait until you are truely old!  Then you'll learn how it feels to be patronized, ignored, pushed aside, and treated as if invisible. 

I sometimes hate youth and the youth dominated culture.  But then I'm just a grouchy old broad, so what do I know.

Amen sister!

I am 32 and I can't stand "ma'am".  I used to live in the south - let me tell you, in the south there is no getting away from it.  I am a "miss" thank you very much!  Thank goodness I now live in the midwest, where "ma'am" really isn't prevalent in the vocabulary.  Heck, I get upset if I don't get carded in a liquor store!  

Well, this is probably going to be the first time I've ever seen someone say this :)

I was raised by feminists...

... ma'am

*RUNS!*

you know so much claire! i respect you so much! ^5 claire...

lol! im thinking your 30th? 40th? birthday is gonna be kinda rough... a lot of people on here observe that they get more/less attention depending on how overweight or not they are...i say age works the exact same way! i weigh nearly the same as i did when i was in my 20s and i work out much much more. if i do get noticed, i dont notice it so much. older guys are usually much more polite about the noticing too. not necessarily a bad thing. so it goes :)

Poor kid. His whole life he has had to listen to his mother tell him. Be polite to the girls they like that. The one night he listens. BAMM. You know he'll never listen again. 

nomo--no, i wasn't wearing anything provocative, unfortunately, i had been studying all day, doing some research work for a prof.  jeans and a muscle tee and a paige-boy/army hat. so i admit i was looking rther frumpy. plus, i was a bit tipsy, which, you know, does wonders for a broad's sex appeal.

poohb--i'm 30. will be 31 in march. it's been rough. i've always taken much pride in being young. it works well with being irresponsible and immature.

hahaha, hk. i know that you and i are the same OLD age. so there. XP

I'm actually older. I AM 31.

And it's OK if someone calls me "Sir" :)
I'm still sexy despite being a "Sir" :)

I dont' mind being called ma'am.   I still think I deserve respect from men.  If they whistle and make comments that I don't like?  They're gonna get it!

They call knights 'sir.' That's pretty hot, I'd say. They wield swords and rescue hot dames from seemingly imminent doom. But only old maids are called "ma'am." And they're ususally kept company by too many shedding cats. I mean, really, is there anything LESS sexy?

I'd rather be a sir than a ma'am any day.

well heck!

get yourself back in that bar, get yourself dolled up, wear your sexiest little outfit, drink less than the guys do, and report back to us about how you're 30 years old but have been oggled like a college freshie at her first frat party!

at a certain point, you do have to work for it, ya know...  ;)

Yep, after a certain age...you do have to make some effort at being hounded at bars by drunken men...;)

just remember "all guys want the older woman!"

LOL  just think of it as he was flirting with you.  Next time say "no problem a$$"

LOL

the irony of all of this, of course, is that i taught philosophy of feminism this past fall term. heh. 

ooo ....

i do love irony!  =)

I just turned 31.

HK is old.  He was 31 first.

I'm not feeling old.  I still don't feel all grown up yet... and I have 3 kids.  31 can definitely be sexy - but sophisticated.  Can be too sophisticated for a wee little college boy.