OCD?

Not too long ago my mom tried to persuade me to go see a therapist about behaviours she perceived as being related to OCD. I refused and argued that I had not OCD, but rather OCPD. I still believe that I do. However, it is becoming increasingly clear to me that I might suffer from OCD as well. I don't necessarily have rituals, however, my thought pattern is what concerns me. For one, I am absolutely terrified of behaving in a socially unacceptable manner in public. In addition to stressing over present and future social situations, I also have this tendency to select trivial events from my past and pin point every social faux pas that I made. Furthermore, I am starting to become reluctant to engage in conversations for fear that I might somehow offend the person or persons in question, or make a bad impression. Finally, my mind seems to be obsessed with these two families that I apparently dreamed up a very long time ago. I say this because I literally cannot remember when this particular set of individuals came about, however, I can say that I have always had something similar to this. These people seem very real to me. They have full names, distinctive features, and even their own aspirations, completely separate from my own. I asked a teacher about it once and she told me that they qualified as imaginary friends. Perhaps this is so, but what bothers me is that, as much as I really and truly enjoy thinking about these people, it seems as though they are taking over my life! It's as though they are all that I can think about these days. They essentially monopolize on my time and prevent me from accomplishing just about anything. Reading, save for the purpose of analyzing the text as opposed to the story, has become nearly impossible. All activities unrelated to these people are essentially excuses to look as though I am actually doing something concrete for a change.  And yet, if I try to shut them out, I start panicking, as if the world were coming to an end. 

Is something the matter or do I simply have a very overactive imagination?

We're all allowed a private imagination, daydreams and fantasies but when the distinction between fact and fiction is blurred then there is a potential problem.  The 'acid test' is whether your life is being negatively affected by your thought patterns or actions and whether you're still in control or not.  If imaginary friends or anxieties are causing you to withdraw from normal social occasions, not interact with others, eat normally or accomplish anything then I would say that is a major cause for concern. 

I would listen to your mother  - the one person in the world that knows you inside out and who loves you unconditionally - and talk to a doctor. 

with  no rituals its unlikely to be OCD but this sounds like very severe anxiety. definitely go to your therapist, and that way you can at leadt use it as a chance to speak up your opinions.

I agree. Talk to someone that can help like a Doctor or even your church councelors.

Although this is no replacement for professional advice, I would like to give you a tip that has helped me when I start to think, analize, obsess,  about past situations where I have "failed" socially. When I start to get that feeling of guilt and failure I have to stop myself and say "I forgive myself for being annoying in that situation." or "I forgive myself for saying ____" . You fill in the blank. It's just as important to forgive ourselves as it is to forgive others. Like me, you may need to forgive yourself of a certian thing more than once. Each time you tell yourself you are forgiving yourself, you will feel that pressure lift just a little more. (but don't do this and then not seek professional help  just because you see results, you still need to talk to someone about everything)

Recognising you have to change some things is the first step, just don't let it stop there. Let us know how it's going, too. :)

I would definitely start seeing a therapist.  But make sure you find one that specializes in anxiety disorders.  Unfortunately not all 'shrinks' are created equal.  It took me 5 tries to finally find one I feel like I relate to and have kept seeing as I should.  Anther tip is find an office (if u can) that has both the psychologists and psychiatrists under one roof or that work together.  It really helps if u need any tests or rx drugs. 

Good Luck

Original Post by gi-jane:

We're all allowed a private imagination, daydreams and fantasies but when the distinction between fact and fiction is blurred then there is a potential problem.  The 'acid test' is whether your life is being negatively affected by your thought patterns or actions and whether you're still in control or not.  If imaginary friends or anxieties are causing you to withdraw from normal social occasions, not interact with others, eat normally or accomplish anything then I would say that is a major cause for concern. 

I would listen to your mother  - the one person in the world that knows you inside out and who loves you unconditionally - and talk to a doctor. 

While I held that I was mostly in control of thoughts concerning those people, last night appears to have disproved that theory completely. As I was doing no more than sitting there, everything in my mind just seemed to unravel all at once, and there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. Uncertain of what do next, I proceeded to try and sleep it off. However, as I awoke this morning, it became painfully clear to me that the situation was no different from the night prior. My mind still feels empty. Every time that I have tried to bring forth thoughts concerning those people, my mind has abruptly brought this action to a halt. I literally have no control over it. Although I am not proud of the fact, it is not an exaggeration to say that those people were the only individuals that I had any sort of empathy for. Now I feel entirely apathetic and have no interest in much of anything. Do normal people feel like this during the day? If I try and do an activity, even if I have no interest, will my mind become stimulated again? I have no idea how to live in the absence of those thoughts. It almost seems as though my mind is a computer and those thoughts served as a sort of operating system to facilitate coping with day-to-day life. As far as I am concerned, this computer has essentially crashed. 

Please correct me if I am wrong but it seems like there is a sense within you that something needs to be worked on in your life. You may or may not have ocd,anxiety,depression or maybe a little of each but the right support,self coping,and possible meds can really assist to figuring things out.

hi, im not a psych. but i believe that ocd can exist without rituals in the form of intrusive thoughts. this sounds like what you might be suffering. just a quick link - google it from there

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_though ts

Original Post by vincent_louis:

 Now I feel entirely apathetic and have no interest in much of anything. Do normal people feel like this during the day?

Everyone has off days and days when they feel low but it's usually temporary.  If this has continued for some time and if you take it in conjunction with the other problems you describe it could be that you're suffering from some form of depression or anxiety.  

Really, rather than guessing, self-medicating, suffering in silence or relying on message boards, make that visit to a doctor, explain exactly how you're feeling and see what they think.

I can sort of relate to what you're experiencing. I have a variety of mental disturbances - crushing anxiety, multiple personalities, obsessive compulsive thoughts, and depression. When I was little I sort of invented these people, along with other lives for myself, and we would all visit together at night. I never actually saw the people, but I knew what they looked like, if that makes sense. Perhaps it was an epic collection of imaginary friends, but I don't think so. For me, I believe I was deeply depressed and very lonely, so the people acted as a source of comfort. OR I could have been talking with my multiple personalities.

Anyway, the point is that you need to talk to a professional. A counselor or a therapist. You need to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. They're not going to lock you up for this, but they could help. This is only my opinion, but it seems to me that you are on the verge of losing yourself. You need to get help, before you forget what's real. Hopefully you're reading this and thinking "she's nuts!" But being a person who has literally gone off the deep end of sanity, I know you've gotta get help before you lose control.

Original Post by fiddler32:

I can sort of relate to what you're experiencing. I have a variety of mental disturbances - crushing anxiety, multiple personalities, obsessive compulsive thoughts, and depression. When I was little I sort of invented these people, along with other lives for myself, and we would all visit together at night. I never actually saw the people, but I knew what they looked like, if that makes sense. Perhaps it was an epic collection of imaginary friends, but I don't think so. For me, I believe I was deeply depressed and very lonely, so the people acted as a source of comfort. OR I could have been talking with my multiple personalities.

Anyway, the point is that you need to talk to a professional. A counselor or a therapist. You need to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. They're not going to lock you up for this, but they could help. This is only my opinion, but it seems to me that you are on the verge of losing yourself. You need to get help, before you forget what's real. Hopefully you're reading this and thinking "she's nuts!" But being a person who has literally gone off the deep end of sanity, I know you've gotta get help before you lose control.

In contrast with your experience, I have never met these people, which is why I am reluctant to call them friends. I do not play any sort of role in their made-up lives. Having given it some thought, I believe that these people may have something to do with serious self-worth issues. Thus, I think that they may serve as motivation to keep me going, since I consider their lives worth preserving, unlike my own. Slowly but surely these people have reappeared in my mind's eye, albeit a bit fragmented. Since I am a minor I take some solace in the fact that I rarely leave the house, so that if I really do lose it, someone will be around.