An ode to Peanut Butter.

Enough of my love songs about food - what's really new is that there are foods I don't like anymore.  And Peanut Butter - oh yeah, babe.  I'm looking at you.

Oh Peanut Butter, oh peanut butter.

S'far as I'm concerned you can get down in the gutter.

Others love you, sing your praises.

But to me that just amazes.

I ate you plenty in the bad old days

When I was in a binging phase.

But it was like sex addiction with no standards set.

I just hadn't decided I could hate foods yet.

You're sticky and slimy and frankly, you smell bad.

I repudiate any good times you thought we had.

I preferred you au naturel to your Peter Pan suit

But don't even think that makes you cute.

It may make you healthy, without HFCS

But it doesn't make me loathe you any less.

Way too many calories for what you did for me.

Others may adore you, but I'll go PB-free.

PB is like the bad-boy my Mum warned me about..

We cannot just be friends, when we are together its all or nothing..

Of course PB has good qualities.. but we bring out the worst in eachother through excess and debachery..

PB is never just sasfied with a little encounter... its marathon that usually ends in a threesome with melted chocolate..

I, too, have set PB free!!