i have just to get this off my chest!!!!!!

i am so down at the moment - that i do not know where to turn - or what to say or do.

my hubby has been out of work for 9 months and has been trying his best to get a job but with no luck at the moment- we are awaiting thr results of another interview - one he would really like to get as it would mean him being back on the railway.

they have a law over here saying that they cannot discriminate against the older worker - well the three jobs he went for on the rail have gone to people in their 20's - dev is 48. i wonder if its going on even though its meant not to.

i just cannot see the end of the ongoing saga - i want to cut back my own hours but as its only my money coming in - i cant. dev is not entitled to anymore benefits as i earn full time hours and take home too much - well its just not enough when you are bringing up a child into the bargain.

we are going to appeal but whether or not it will get us anywhere only time will tell.

i could cry and stuff my face to make myself feel better but its not the answer. i really could do with some cheering up - if anyone out there can help please do -thanks

I know *kinda* what you're going through, although my situation is a little bit different...I recently graduated from college and although going to college is supposed to be this great thing I'm now being told that since I don't have experience in my field (accounting) that either the degree is great but I need experience OR I'm overlooked because the company doesn't want to pay for someone with a degree.  I live alone with my diabetic cat and am doing temp work that BARELY covers my bills for now. 

Just remember that life nevers gives us more than we can handle, and making it through this crisis will not only make you emotionally stronger, it will build the bond between you and your hubby.  So feel blessed for the time you get to spend as a family, and tell your hubby good luck with the interview!

I'm sorry to hear that your husband is having a hard time finding work.   It must be incredibly frustrating to be denied the work that you do simply because you are "older".  Right now the best thing you and your hubby can do is just be there for one another.  Something is bound to come along.

If you feel the urge to "stuff your face" to deal, maybe go for a walk??  Take your hubby with you... being outdoors is always a wonderful way to spend time and it gives you a time to do something together.

And as always, you have us

Ok, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do NOT be offended by what I'm about to say. I'm just trying to look out for you and it comes from personal experience:

I've noticed that lately you have been venting all your personal problems on the forums and there is NOTHING wrong with that! However, just be prepared to listen to different perspectives on the situation and different opinions. MOST people on here are very kind and caring and will offer you a nice word, but some are just plain mean and negative and may even attack you. Just be prepared, and do NOT take it personal!

K, now that I got that off MY chest...

You KNOW that stuffing your face is not going to solve your issues. So don't DO it! Be strong, and remember NOTHING lasts forever!

Money is always a huge source of stress when you don't have enough of it!  I sympathize, my husband and I have been trying to survive on one income so our children aren't raised in a day care environment.  Unfortunately, with the way the world is now, it gets harder and harder to do this.

My best advice would be to talk to your husband about the pressures you feel and let him talk to you about the way he feels...the frustration of not finding work.  It's very rough when you realize that even with your hard work and strategizing, the money just drips down the drain pipe of bills.

Make a plan of action, talk to one another and know that nothing lasts forever unless you do nothing about it.  And, remember, food is not a solution...it's just energy for your body.

Yes, there are laws against discrimination but they all find a way around it. Maybe they ought to have laws that force companies to hire older people just like they are forced to hire minority ethnic groups.

So, why do you want to cut your hours?

in respect to libory - i have not been venting all my personal problems on the forum - i have just been asking advice about certain situations from people who dont know me and may be able to offer me some advice - i look and read every post and if there is something useful i will take it on board and use it.

i do talk to my husband about our situation lbblair - we are strong and united as a team but things do get strained - i am trying to keep up a strong front but it can be hard,

i want to cut my hours alayney - because i am never home at decent hours to see my daughter - up to next saturday 22nd september as of last week i will have worked three weeks without hardly any time off - one day i think. she wants me at home but unless i am earning there is not enough to give her little things now and then - i try not and spoil her - and also when i am off i am too tired to do much outside with her etc.

I know how frustrated you are with the situation, and I continue to send every good thought I have to Dev getting a job.  Do you suppose that appealing the job choices would actually achieve anything?  I know that here in the States people try that once in a while, and most often they don't get anywhere with it.  It is just so hard to prove that someone isn't hired because of age.

I also understand your wanting to be with your little one.  In a previous life (marriage) I struggled like that, and I remember sitting on my bed crying one afternoon because I didn't have enough money to buy my son an ice cream.  But, you are doing what you need to do right now, and I suspect that in the end she will realize that.  You are a wonderful parent to care for her that much.

Dear Fattypuff:

Well, I'm just going to add abit to what everyone else is saying; stay strong and keep that bond with you hubby.  Like someone else mentioned, nothing lasts forever and 'this' saga will come to an end.  But don't give up on yourself, don't over eat b/c once your done with this problem you'll be faced with the one that your even MORE over weight than when you started.  I know that working such long hours is part of the fall-out with your work-out/weight mgnt.  But take the little time you have with your daughter and spend it outside doing activities together, I'm sure that with her company you'll forget how tired you are.  You spend time w/ her and you also stay active.

Good luck and keep us posted! We're all praying your hubby gets the job!