Okay, since when is it offensive to be self-conscious?

Okay, so, I don't understand why so many people are getting on my back about being self-conscious. I understand if I was like 90 pounds and everyone was trying to tell me I'm too skinny. But I'm 110 pounds and I'm REALLY not happy with my body. And for some reason thats offending people. I never said I was fat, or obese, I'm just really uncomfortable with the way I look. My sister and boyfriend keep yelling at me that I don't need to lose weight, but when I look in the mirror all I see is a pouch of fat under my stomach and my huge thighs. I realize that at 110 pounds some people are like "I'm 180, or 200, or 300, or SO  much heavier than you are", and thats fine, so you have more work to do than me, and it probably sucks more for you than me. I'm not trying to offend anyone when I say I have issues with my weight.

I think my fat is just placed in all the wrong areas. I feel like everything I eat just goes straight to my stomach and thighs. I know I don't have the biggest of issues with my weight, but that doesn't make my issues any less real. I would give anything to have a skinny girls body. Anything. I can't stand looking at people who are skinny, or having nightmares when i go to sleep about being in a bikini, or wearing shorts or skirts or dresses. I have worn jeans EVERY day this year except once a couple weeks ago i wore shorts. I am sorry if my petty problems seem pathetic to people with bigger issues, but to me it's the worst problem I've ever faced. I hope there's some people out there that can connect with that.

Well take it from someone who knows - I'm 115, somewhat uncomfortable with the way I look, and perfectly healthy. But when I complain about it, even my friends have issues with it. I think I come off as dying for attention instead of honestly worried about the way I look. How tall are you? Maybe you don't really need to lose weight, just tone up and work out, and you'll come out looking amazing and feeling great too!

When people say such things to you it's about them and not you. There are two factors that need to come together for people to react to you in that way - and both should make you feel better about yourself.

Firstly, these people have to view you as being in a better position than they are. This could be related to anything, really - finances, beauty, weight, whatever the case may be. Then, they also need to be struggling with their own issues - which may or may not be related to weight but probably are related to body image.

These two factors are probably present in at least half of the people in your life - probably more because you're obviously an attractive young woman. That's why they snap back at you... it's their way of saying, "Get over yourself! If I was you, I'd finally be satisfied!".

It's a part of human nature you're never going to change. You just have to recognize it for what it is and take it as a pat on the back, take it as a compliment.

i'm 5' 2"

yeah, thanks. i'm sure thats mostly true but sometimes people act really offended by it.

That means that your weight is probably ok, your bmi looks great! I would recommend toning though to look more cut!

Perhaps they are worried about you? And if you feel that way, maybe you should excercise (or maybe you  already do).

allmiiluhvx3 - maybe come up with a good workout plan that you can change up every so often and stick to it - that will make you feel better and you will see results. Toning up does not necessarily mean losing weight - I think if you became leaner, buffer, however you wanna call it - you'd be more satisfied. If you made that your goal and then in 3 months you looked at yourself and loved how your body is coming along that is total gratification. So in the meantime don't complain to these people like your sister because their responses to you are going to be irritating and you don't need that. You need a goal and results.

Thanks :] No, I wasn't referring to that thread, most of the responses were positive and helpful. Mostly people I know have been on my case about me wanting to lose weight. And there was one person who responded to that thread but deleted her response who said that me wanting to lose weight was, "a slap in the face". I was offended by that. But thanks everyone, I think you're all right, a work out plan would be the most helpful

Thanks so much. You're really helpful :] So what brings you to CC?

Honestly, I'm a little concerned about a few things in your post, but I don't know how tall you are or what you look like. Maybe it would be healthy for you to lose weight. Maybe not. Mild body image issues are unfortunately normal, but if it gets too strong and goes on too long it can cause more problems.

I really would encourage you to try using exercise for toning the body, though. And wait it out; if you're still growing taller, you can get thinner just by gaining less weight (or none at all if you don't actually need to gain any). Your body also might change. I stopped growing at around 13 and am the same weight now that I was then, but my waist is much smaller and I'm thinner overall, except for my cup size going up slightly; your body will redistribute itself somewhat for a couple of years even after you stop growing taller.

hey allmiiluhvx3,   just wanted to add that you are 16 so you are growing still.  most  women gain weight around 14-17;  i know  i did.  however you will also grow into  it meaning that in a few years you will grow more comfraortable with yourself.  I was so self  concious in high school when i put on weight but now i  have grown into it and am more comfortable withmyself as the years  go by.  Im 25  by   the way. so give it time---concentrate on your favorite features

jainasolo - they should make a club for everyone concerned about Emily :] (me). Trust me, nothing to be concerned about here. Just an overly self-conscious girl whose uncomfortable with growing up ;]. I'm pretty sure I'm done growing, the doctor said I will stay at 5'2" - which sucks a lot. Btw, I am 5'2" you said you don't know how  tall I am :]. And speaking of cupsize, I am very uncomfortable with my 34D's. Even a year and a half ago when I weighed 10 pounds less they were C's. My cupsize has always been bigger in proportion with my body.

Undertherainbow - did you have trouble with weight before having kids? At least you have an excuse. Everyone gains weight with children - cause your eating for two :] But congratulations on the baby and good luck with the next one! And yeah; breathings always a plus ;]

Zombies1 - I'm not so sure I'm still growing. As I said to jainasolo, the doctor said I will stay this height. Whether or not that means my weight will change I'm not sure. Anyways, seeing your comfortable with your weight what brings you to CC?

nods

Hey, we're like twins! I'm a 34D too. It's a pain to find, though. I sometimes wear 36Cs because they're easier to find at affordable prices, but they don't fit as well.

I hear you about the growing up thing. When I was 9 I was 5 feet tall, 100 pounds, and I looked like I was entering my teens. I had to wear adults' petite clothes because I was too curvy, though not really too heavy, for children's. It was really hard to deal with - I wasn't actually fat, but it felt that way, because I was bigger than almost all of my classmates.

You could safely lose a little bit of weight unless you have a very large frame, and I'm guessing that you don't. One of the (few) cool things about being short is that a few pounds of change is visible faster - just five pounds would show.

Undertherainbow - Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's why I've gained all this weight. A year and a half ago I was 96 pounds and then I went on birth control and shot up to 116. Now I'm 109. I HATE exercise, but I feel like I have no choice at this point and I'm gonna have to suck it up and do the work to see the results I want.

United2gether - Thanks for the calculator :] it said my BMI was 20.2 - the one on here said 20.1. Not sure which one is right but I guess .1 doesn't really matter anyways LOL ;] I know that part of growing is getting bigger I guess I just don't handle it as well as I should.

Jainasolo - haha yeah I'm wearing a 36C right now actually. I don't like my size but my boyfriend isn't complaining LOL ;] I've always been short, and I used to have to wear little kids clothes when I was 12-13. I guess we're on the opposite side of the spectrum :] By the way, I'm a small frame.

i agree people get mad when we say we dont like how we look.  i got yelled at the other day by my hubby! he doesnt yell, but was so mad i changed my shirt for the 10th time before leaving, he just yelled "your not fat so stop it!". lol.

but, i do have a bit to lose still (down allot already) and he is supportative. but no one can understand how someone else feels in  their own skin, right?

ok, so i agree, tone, toneing is really your only option, i recomend stay at about 110 but with replacing fat with muscle as your goal. you will end up with a killer body and still be a healthy weight and you will grow into your shape.

i saw your photos, you will do just great if you tone. i would go for a body like yours anyday! but, i get that if i had it, i might find problems with it. i so get what you mean.

so tone tone tone. and try not to pick on yourself too much, i am meaner to myself then i ever would be to an enemy, i am working on that.

stef

nods

 

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you--I'm 5'4", 109 lbs., and when I turn away a doughnut or an extra slice of pizza people tell me I'm crazy! The thing is, I used to be overweight, and although I'm at a healthy weight now I'm still uncomfortable with my body. I think what I need to "grow" into is the fact that my body's changed, and I'm starting to believe that I'm NOT fat, and that it's normal to be unhappy about some parts of your body. But, I know exactly how you feel, and we should have a right to be self-conscious! haha. 

Stef - thanks ;] it's good to see I'm not the only one with this point of view. Today my hubby said the same thing, but he thinks I need help so I don't listen to him when it comes to my weight. He keeps saying "You care too much what you look like! You need help you're not fat!" But he just cares too much :] But it's great that your down a lot. Whats your stats if you don't mind me asking?

United2gether - I totally agree! We are DEFFINATELY our own worst critic! And I know life is certainly about a lot more than the way we look, but sometimes it's hard to be happy and appreciate the good things in life when all you're thinking about is how bad you feel in your body! Thanks :]

Revolution - I know! People always yell at me when I'm like nooo I can't eat that. It's great that you've lost all that weight, though. I think it's just built in us to never be 100% happy with how we look and always nit-pick at our flaws. (even when no one else sees them as flaws) But we should just love ourselves, but it's hard sometimes to accept yourself. :]

exactly. Besides, people are too busy being self-conscious about themselves to worry about what we look like! haha.