Why oh why???

So I'm one of those people that's fought my weight since I left the womb.  I take some comfort in the fact the women on both sides of my family are big, but I  know that is no excuse, it may make the battle harder, but not an excuse for losing (the battle, not the weight!!).  I joined this website about a month ago.

As many of the people on this site, I've been successful losing a LOT (70-100 pounds) on several occasions, and never successful at making the lifestyle change to keep it off.  My latest attempt is nothing which I can't maintain for the rest of my life, so no Nutrisystem, Atkins,  Beverly Hills (which I lost about 60 pounds on then had to have my gall bladder out), or anything.  Just calorie count, watch the fat and carb content, as natural as possible, fast food as a "treat" and have one day off a week.

Also have been working with a personal trainer since February.  I have lost almost 40 pounds and 30 inches (my body is actually re-shaping, who'd a thunk it??).  I should add that I started this venture at 278 pounds and am 5' 5" tall.

In order not to beat myself up and also knowing that I can't and won't live my life in denial I decided that all I wanted to do was maintain over the summer, as summers where I live are short and consist of lots of entertaining and socializing (too cold and dark the rest of the year [lol]).  I kept going to the gym three times a week, (1 1/2 -2 hours per work out).

After labor day I got totally back into the groove.  Found that 1500-1600 calories was not taking anything off and this was understandable.  I dropped my calories to 1200 and added two 2 mile walk/runs to my weekly rountine and had lost 4 pounds in under two weeks. 

I am turning 50 in a month or so and am feeling strong and starting to look wonderful, even at 244 pounds.  Decided I was going to get professional photos taken for my birthday, bought myself an expensive strapless kick-ass red ball gown, my husband was excited; we haven't had "formal" pictures since we got married over 20 years ago.  Everything going well, and then...

About 10  days ago I pulled my Achilles and have been in physio and no gym for a week.  So, what do I do when it happens?  Instead of keeping up with my eating program I totally sabotage myself, using the injury as an excuse to eat everything in sight and feel totally sorry for myself.  And I mean eat everything.  In one week I had lunch at the Chinese buffet one day, the Indian buffet another.  2 quarts of frozen yogurt,  ribs, hot dogs, munched down a whole box (12 I think) granola bars one day at work.  KFC snack pack on the way home from work.  Wendy's double burger and fries another day.  The list goes on and on...

I returned to "normal" eating today and will also get back to the gym, still sore and knowing I won't be able to do the kind and intensity of cardio that I want and also might not be able to do some of my weight training exercises.

Anyone really know why we behave this way?...and/or how to stop it?  I know I'm not the only one.   Can you relate to this behavior?  Would love to hear and/or hook-up on this site with others on a similar journey/situation.

Hi

I just read your blog, I am turning 50 next month too and like you have decided not to take it "lying down"!

If you watched the Emmys last night you would have seen Oprah on there, she has put back on her weight, too.  Its just such a struggle for all of us in here.  I love to eat, sounds like you do too.  I always think of being on a crash diet (and eating only 1200 cals/day and all that exercising is crashing) is like holding your breath, you can only do it for so long because you eventally have to inhale!!

There's nothing you can do about the damage you just did, except start again! The more you punish yourself for your mistakes, the more you are validating all those poor self-image feelings you have.  I do the same, feel sorry for myself that my skinny friends can eat everything they want while I have to watch every calorie.  I dont think its fair at all!

I don't know why we do this either, people will say we are depressed, we are bored, we are using food as a replacement for love or some other lacking, or we had bad childhoods...whatever!  I say its just the way our bodies are made up and all we can do is fight the good fight.  Sounds like except for this temporary setback/injury you have been doing just great, so why just think of that as a "rest period" and now you are as strong and ready as ever!  Just ease into your exercise regime so you dont hurt yourself and be happy and glad to be turning 50 and full of vim and vigor!  Good luck to you....

I think that retraining yourself to eat properly is difficult.  I'm certainly not bragging about my choices this weekend, but today is a new day and I'll try to get back into both my eating and exercise grooves.

Plus I won't be buying ice cream to replace what I ate this weekend.  One good trick for me is not to buy junk or if I do to only buy a small quantity.

I lost 40 lbs by counting calories and working out -- without a trainer. I successfully maintained my loss (in the 124-130 lbs range) since Jul 2007. I had my days when I hated the scale at 130 but I had days when I loved it at 124 lbs. It was hard to make a complete lifestyle change but at 25 I didn't exactly had a choice: I was getting married and I was FAT! So I finally listened to my body who never liked meat or white stuff anyway!

Mom is little over 50 and she's losing weight slowly just by eating healthy and walking. She's not even counting calories. I'm VERY proud of her! Even our doctor is very proud. Granted, for her is more than hard given the menapause and the other issues she has to battle.

Thanks so much, you are so right!  And, yeah,  couldn't believe Oprah last night. 

Hate to use someone else's issues as a source of validation, but if someone with all her resources has that kind of battle it should make everyone realize what a challenge it is!

Are you doing anything special for your 50th?

Thanks again for the encouragement and best wishe with your journey!

I'm JUST like that.  I developed severe heel pain (plantar faschiitis) last week and completely fell off the food wagon after 3 weeks of great progress.

I have no idea why it is, but a friend and I were talking about it this weekend and she's the same way.  For some reason, it is easier to do both food and exercise rather than just one!

My approach is to try and counteract my negative thinking (i.e. "I can't do the exercise I want, so screw it!) and figure out what exercise I can do instead.

Achilles injuries are really difficult, as it is hard to stay off of them and let it heal.  Lots of icing, physio (ultrasound) and new shoes/orthotics helped me when I got it.  As for exercises, swimming is good, but don't do flip turns (learned that the hard way).  I'm sure your physio or a trainer at the gym will be able to give you a program that will work while you rehabilitate (lots of sitting arm weights??  LOL) - you might find that the recumbent bike or even elliptical is OK for you.

Hang in there - you have made fantastic, unbelievable progress and will get through this!!

I'm another girl (lol) about to turn 50! You've done so well otherwise, I hope you'll just put the mistakes out of your mind OTHER THAN making a plan for when things like that come up. We know that they will eventually.

I got overly tired over the weekend and gorged myself on sugar cookies that I was baking for the church. I messed up the shape of a tray full...so I ate them! I felt terrible that evening and even the next morning. I know that when I'm really tired, that's what I tend to do. I'm going to write down a couple of alternate 'rewards' for myself and put them where I can see them. (bubble bath, manicure, etc.) I HOPE that next time I'll do one of them instead.

First off, right on for losing that much to begin with. That's not easy.

Unfortunately, in my opinion, .. those of us who have had food and weight issues since early childhood are probably never going to reach a place where we can view food 'normally.' It will always be more of a struggle for us to control portions and make the right choices. But that's not saying that we can't STILL make the right choices, in spite of it being that much harder.

Even in lifestyle changes, it's easy to slip back into old habits. But you KNOW where your issues lie.. and you know how and where you're trying to sabotage yourself. That gives you a leg up on the battle.

I say keep on keepin' on, lady. Another challenge has definitely been thrown your way, but it's still workable. And you're tough-- you have to be to have lost that much in the first place.

Good luck!

coco:  I strongly believe that many of us don't believe we deserve to be successful.  It wasn't until I had to deal with type 2 diabetes did I look at my life and realized I had the power to change my life.  I also realized that I deserved to be happy and as healthy as I could be. 

Since then I haven't looked back.   On my down days, I remind myself I deserve to be happy and then work on making it happen.   Fortunately I haven't had many set backs but I do know that often it is about your frame of mind and what you talk yourself into or out of.

Good luck, you deserve to be happy.

thanks so much for postin this coco... really think a lot of us are cut from the same cloth! a lot of good points brought up that fit my life as well. I think caloriecountless hit that on the head... and I have read it elsewhere that we see food differently. And I do the same thing. If I have a small injury or even if im just too "busy" to work out, I go off track entirely.

I know exactly what you mean about seeing the women on both sides of your family being the same build... I try to use it as a motivator... but it doesnt always work so well.

This helped me a lot. And I'll probly be reminding myself of it during the holiday season. Everyday is a new day. And mistakes are only that is you dont get a lesson from them.

And kudos for your accomplishments thus far!!!

It is so good to feel that I am not alone  :)  I also struggle daily...one little slip and the entire week is shot...even if that slip is Monday morning...might as well start over next week is my opinion...lol...and that is why I am 5'3" and 241 pounds...60 pounds heavier than when I gave birth to my son 15 1/2 years ago.  I have weighed 129...but that was because my son's abusive father refused to marry me until I weighed less than 130...and then no marriage thank goodness...but I have put on almost 70 pounds in the last 3 1/2 years...health is a problem...chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia make it so that I rarely feel like exercising...but I am working on it...I have a gym membership...I am babysitting 2 little boys and I went out and walked with the baby today while the oldest is in preschool...

I know I will never feel "normal" about food...I know there will never be a "free" day for me to eat whatever I want...that "free" day will lead to a "free" week, month, year...lol...but I am trying to eat more fuits and veggies...smaller portions...instead of avoiding everything...I am just trying to eat smarter...and logging everything...

Good luck to us all...sounds like are all in the same boat...and all need the same kick in the pants...and motivation...and support...

Just thought I'd let everyone know, there is a metabolism god... 

All the months of training have paid off.  I went back to the gym yesterday, had a great work-out, weighed myself this morning and gained NOTHING last week from all my bad behavior. 

It certainly is no excuse, but it makes it a lot easier to get back on the wagon when the repercussions weren't what they usually would have been - I'm a girl who can gain 10 pounds in one week-end...

And thanks again for all the comments and support.