Oh FUDGE!!

So (like almost everyone else in the world) I am trying to drop some pounds and tone. I am fairly active, I jog, hike, kayak, canoe, workout videos, gym, all that mixed up about 6 days a week and I eat fairly healthy at meals but I have NO will power when it comes to bad food being right in front of me.

My co-worker (we work together all day everyday) has been making quite rude comments about my eating and working out. He tells me how dumb it is for me to eat healthy (which he can kiss my a**) but then when i go for junk he says "oh don't eat that your gonna get fat" and if he stopped there that might be ok but then he goes on to say things that are completly out of place like "well go ahead your gonna get fat like your mom anyway" (that was actually an exact quote from him, and my mom actually is overweight ). What a jerk! Well, though my self esteem has never been low, what little bit of self consciencness i have had is flourishing quite nicely.

Anyways....to the fudge. We got a shipment of fudge in at my job and I wanted a piece becuase... DUH!, it is fudge and right in my face, so as I went to get a piece he made a few rude and  hurtful comments and I didn't eat it. Well as soon as he left I ate like THREE pieces!! Now i feel like crap and like every mean and hurtful thing he said is true.  I know that it isn't because not to mention I had a very healthy breakfast (as usual) and lunch..I am also hiking a trail and jogging the bridge after work but ERRRRR!!! Why are his stupid comments getting to me, I think about them all the time .....and WHY did I have to eat that STUPID fudge?!?!?!   Very frustrating and a little depressing. Sorry to make this so long...just venting!

Wow, this guys sounds like a real piece of work! If you spend that much time with him you're going to have to stand up for yourself, or he'll keep bullying you and making you upset. Have you tried telling him that your eating habits are none of his business and that you don't want to hear any more of his commentary?

He's probably just trying to tease you to get attention or something, but a lot of guys don't realize how sensitive girls are about this kind of stuff - especially if they don't look overweight, and you don't. It's up to you to let him know where the boundaries are, though, or else you'll just start to resent him and feel victimized. So put him in his place, and hopefully you'll be able to maintain a more respectful work relationship afterwards!  =)  Good luck!

Or report him to HR. That's actually considered harassment. How awful!

Original Post by skaadi :

Or report him to HR. That's actually considered harassment. How awful!

 She is prolly friends with the guy, and he just makes stupid comments.  He also sounds like the comments a gay guy talking to a girl would make.  Don't take it so hard he had you best intrests in mind.

Oh I really wish you didn't have to go through that.  He is being insensative and unkind.  My family used to stay stuff like that to me all the time, for my whole life actually, and this year for the first time ever, I told them that when they say that I feel really hurt, and ashamed, and I just don't want to be around them.  They said sorry!!!  And they stopped!  They actually thought that calling me fat and telling me not to eat things was motivating. 

Anyhow, he's not your family, so you may not feel safe saying that to him. But it is actually possible that he has no clue how hurtful he is being. 

I realize this isn't the most healthy solution, but I'd change jobs, and find a more supportive place to be.  But... I avoid conflict :)  You probably will come up with something much better.

I wish you all the best. 

Shana

Very sorry you are going through this and you are a beautiful person!!!! Are you good friends with this co-worker (sure doesn't sound like he's a good friend or co-worker for that matter!) Do you think you could try to talk with him and tell him how his unnecessary comments make you feel, that you know what you are doing and if you need any support, you will ask for it, until then, do not say anything. I probably would be more nicer than this but thinking about this makes me a bit angry.

I really encourage you to try to talk to co-worker first to let him know about your feelings because that way if he continues, you have every right to report him to HR rather than not talking to him first, making the situation even more stickier, you know? Again, sorry about what you are going through..

Because he comments on both your healthy eating and your not-so-healthy eating I suspect he's the one with the issue. He either has issues with his own eating habits or he's immaturely trying to hit on you.  I agree you should talk to him. If you don't feel comfortable doing that or it doesn't work here are some suggested replies when he's rude:

• "Thanks for your opinion. I'll consider it."
• "If I don't eat one piece now I'll eat three later and that would be worse."
• "You know . . . some day I'll lose all the weight I want and be healthy and sexy . . . but you, my friend, will still be a jerk."

Feel free to vary them as needed.  Good luck!

Sounds like he's teasing you, and the more you let it get to you, the more he's going to do it.  I would just make fun of him back...  but I'm not very mature.  

ETA:  sometimes guys with the intellect of 12 year olds make fun of you because they have a crush on you.

HR for sure. I would never let anyone treat me like that. I doubt he's your friend, and it sucks that it might create tension for you in the future after your discussion, but that's just wrong of him.

Original Post by auntbubba:

Because he comments on both your healthy eating and your not-so-healthy eating I suspect he's the one with the issue. He either has issues with his own eating habits or he's immaturely trying to hit on you.  I agree you should talk to him. If you don't feel comfortable doing that or it doesn't work here are some suggested replies when he's rude:

• "Thanks for your opinion. I'll consider it."
• "If I don't eat one piece now I'll eat three later and that would be worse."
• "You know . . . some day I'll lose all the weight I want and be healthy and sexy . . . but you, my friend, will still be a jerk."

Feel free to vary them as needed.  Good luck!

you rock auntbubba!

this guy does not have your "best interests" in mind. He has a game of his own. It might be plain old immaturity, but most likely it's that he enjoys being cruel. Before reporting him, you should try auntbubba's way. If he doesn't stop, then tell him point blank it stops or you will report him.