How old is too old to bring your son into the women's bathroom?

I have a son, aged four and I still take him into the women's bathroom when out and either he or I have to pee.  My SIL brings her 10 year old into the women's bathroom or he has to go with a friend or his dad to the restroom.  I don't see a problem with that at all, there are just too many weirdos out there.  I realize some women wouldn't appreciate sharing the ladies room with an older male child so I am curious, what age is too old?

At ten years old your sister in law's son should be able to use a bathroom on his own. Four is still plausible, but ten? Too old. Really, to me, any older than five is too old.

You know, I wonder. If a mother can take her son into a women's toilet, why couldn't she accompany a son into the mens? o_o; Do people do this?

That is a great question! I think that four is fine but ten is way too old! I agree with lalabanana that he should be able to use the washroom on his own.( unless he is autistic or s/t) i agree with you that there are alot of weirdos out there and it is a scary thought for a child to use a washroom on their own.

Good luck

yeah, once a kid gets to school age, they're capable of using the bathroom on their own (they'd better be!).  i guess there are some settings where that might not feel safe; in that case, there are private/handicapped washrooms in most public buildings.

I would say about 8.  But it also depends on how mature the kid is it could probably be younger.  I think as long as the parent waits outside the men's room for their son its fine to let them go alone.  If the parent has to go you just need to set a guideline that they need to stay right there outside the womens bathroom and have a plan if someone tries to take them.  When I take my nephew out hes 10, I tell him he better stay right there and if any one starts messing with him he better SCREAM.

I actually think 10 is fine (By about 12 I'd start thinking it a bit weird).

It's not like he will be seeing women partially unclothed, as all our lady business takes place behind closed doors.  Mens restrooms on the other hand, it WOULD be inappropriate for a woman to take her son into there, because men have to go peepee using the urinal, which means their 'goods' are on display. 

If its not a dodgy place and the kid wants to go by himself, let him go.  If its even slightly dodgy, then I'd make him use the women's.  Remember that younger kids often need guidance with hygiene though! I'd rather watch him wash his hands than have to hold onto a grubby kiddie hand with drops of pee on it. 

http://www.sunjournal.com/story/296021-3/Lewi stonAuburn/Cops_arrest_man_on_sexual_assault_ charge/

This story is about a 17 year old that was attacked in a bathroom.  I try to find a unisex bathroom for my son.  He is autistic and way too nice to strangers.  If there isn't one, I allow him to use the lady's room. 

I say once they're out of diapers and able to do their business without assitance is the time for them to use the gender appropriate facility.  However, you can bet that I will be waiting immediately outside the door if my nephew has to use the facilities and if I hear the slightest thing off I'll be in there checking it out.   Where possible I try to find the gender neutral facility.

I read one time that there was an actual law that set the age limit for this.  Don't know if it is set by state or it is even an actual law.  At 10 I think they should be able to do it on there own but then again why does it really matter?  They aren't in the stall with me while I am peeing so I don't really care if they are in the bathroom.

I think that whatever the parent is comfortable with.

It is not a matter of being able to go to the bathroom on their own, rather that in public there are ALOT of weirdos.

I am a single mom and I bring my 8 year old in the bathroom with me when we are in public. My son is very capable of going on his own, I just do not trust strangers. I know that is may sound paranoid, but I rather be on the safe side when dealing with my sons well being. If something were to happen to him in a public restroom I would never forgive myself. Just my opinion.

4 definitely take in with you. I would say 10 might be a little old. But it depends on the situation. It is dangerous. It is not about them being able to go to the bathroom by themselves, it is about what can happen to them while they are in the bathroom. I would send my son in the mens room at 10 but be waiting directly outside of the door. Too many bad people. You just can't be too careful.

Original Post by sreeves8:

I think that whatever the parent is comfortable with.

It is not a matter of being able to go to the bathroom on their own, rather that in public there are ALOT of weirdos.

I am a single mom and I bring my 8 year old in the bathroom with me when we are in public. My son is very capable of going on his own, I just do not trust strangers. I know that is may sound paranoid, but I rather be on the safe side when dealing with my sons well being. If something were to happen to him in a public restroom I would never forgive myself. Just my opinion.

That's exactly how I feel too.  My son and my nephew are of course capable of using the facilities properly and washing their hands afterward.  This question is not at all a matter of them being able to use the facilities on their own.  It's about their safety with strangers. 

Although ten seems old, my nephew is a little sheltered and immature for his age and I think he'd be more vulnerable to the weirdos out there.  I doubt that he would even fight back, yell or even scream for help if he was in trouble regardless if his mom or one of us was outside the door or not.  If there is not a unisex bathroom or a private, single bathroom with a lock then my SIL takes him in the ladies room and I don't see a problem with that at all.  It's not like he is seeing anything in there anyway, there are stalls.  My son is still young so of course he comes in the ladies room with me without a question.  I don't think it is overprotective at all. I would rather have people annoyed with me for bringing my child in the restroom when they feel he is too old than to have something happen to him and never be able to forgive myself. I know that way more than nine times out of ten nothing bad would happen but why risk it?  A child's innocence is a priceless wager and truly can't be replaced.  There are too many kids that get molested right under their parent's noses and by trusted loved ones to be able to trust perfect strangers wholeheartedly.

I am not saying that I will find it necessary for him to accompany me in the ladies room until he is ten.  I think it depends on the child and where we happen to be we will see the kind of person he develops into, whether he is uncomfortable in the ladies room and whether or not I feel confident in letting him go it alone. 

I agree that it depends on the kid.  I've seen 8ish year old boys running in and out of the ladies room unattended when there are several women using the facilities and I do think that is inappropriate, if you're using someone else's facility you should try to be unobtrusive.  If the parent in the ladies room isn't going to keep an eye on them then that defeats the purpose and they might as well use the gender appropriate area.  I've used the men's restroom on the rare occasion that the ladies is closed for repairs or cleaning although not when there are men present.  In that case I go in, do my stuff and leave as quickly and quietly as possible.

Original Post by smwhipple:

I agree that it depends on the kid.  I've seen 8ish year old boys running in and out of the ladies room unattended when there are several women using the facilities and I do think that is inappropriate, if you're using someone else's facility you should try to be unobtrusive.  If the parent in the ladies room isn't going to keep an eye on them then that defeats the purpose and they might as well use the gender appropriate area.  I've used the men's restroom on the rare occasion that the ladies is closed for repairs or cleaning although not when there are men present.  In that case I go in, do my stuff and leave as quickly and quietly as possible.

I agree that is completely inappropriate.  When I use the facilities with my son he is well behaved and definetely not running around, no kid should be whether they are a girl in the womens or a boy in the women's restroom.  I have used the facilities and had some other woman's daughter peek under my stall!  There is no way my kid will be caught doing that!  When we are in there we are there to get in and out as quick as possible.  I too have used the mens! lol I went in there by mistake though and I didn't even realize it until after I was finished and noticed the urinals!  Luckily no one was in there!

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infant is about it. find a family bathroom. the ladies room is for females

what about when it is a father and daughter out and one of them has to use the restroom?

my husband has taken my 4 year old to the store before and when she had to go he let her go in alone and stood outside the door waiting and listening for her...there was no one else in there though. if she had not come out in a very short period of time or if he thought something was up he would have went even if it's a womens restroom.

but what if he had to go? what should he do with her? you can't really have a 4 yr old girl in the mens restroom...

this hasn't came up yet but with have 2 little girls it probably will sometime.

Original Post by 2babettermom:

what about when it is a father and daughter out and one of them has to use the restroom?

my husband has taken my 4 year old to the store before and when she had to go he let her go in alone and stood outside the door waiting and listening for her...there was no one else in there though. if she had not come out in a very short period of time or if he thought something was up he would have went even if it's a womens restroom.

but what if he had to go? what should he do with her? you can't really have a 4 yr old girl in the mens restroom...

this hasn't came up yet but with have 2 little girls it probably will sometime.

If you've ever seen Three Men and a Little Lady, they had this issue themselves. Simple solution? Cover the little girl's eyes walking in and out! Make it a game :)

Funny, my father just spent Friday afternoon with my 4-year-old daughter and got to experience taking her to a public restroom. He took her in the men's room and didn't think anything of it. She could care less.

My daughter is much too short to reach sinks in public restrooms. I can understand taking a boy that young into a women's restroom. 10 is too old, IMO. A 10-year-old can reach everything and probably would feel uncomfortable in the restroom of the opposite sex. I never remember accompanying my father to the men's restroom. He always waited right outside the door for us.

This is interesting. I have a 5-month-old son and need to know these things so I can prepare myself!

Original Post by smartinpink:

infant is about it. find a family bathroom. the ladies room is for females

What if there isn't a family bathroom around, or how long should I search for one before I wet myself?

(I have a 6 year old autistic, non-verbal, son who I absolutely can't send into a public men's room alone or leave waiting for me unattended.)  

the pool I go to allows 5 and under into opposite sex locker rooms with parents...I've kind of adopted that as a standard