how old were you?

there's this guy who i spend my summers with all year, and last summer, we hooked up. I almost lost my virginity to him, but i wasn't sure i was ready. He's coming to visit me for christmas vacation on tuesday, and we've talked about it in the months since summer.

how old were you when you guys when you lost your virginity, and when did you know you were ready?

i was 19 (i think. may have been 18 but i don't think so). it was with my boyfriend, who i'm still with now, and i just knew that we were in love and it was the right time and he wasn't pressuring or anything like that.

i think you'll just know. if you feel like it's right......like, if you don't have any doubts at all, then i think you'll be ok. but if you have to tell yourself, "well, i guess i should..." then i wouldn't recommend it. you just don't want to regret it, you know?

yeah, i definately don't want to regret it. i was 17 when i almost lost it this summer, and i'm 18 now.

It was this year, right after I turned 17. With my boyfriend of a year, and we're still together. Wasn't that great, but i don't regret doing it.

I was 14 now that i think about it..i didnt know when i was ready. i just did it.

15, which was too young and i regret that.  

why do you regret it? just cause you were young?

Eighteen and a half.  That half a year really counts, you know?

I don't think I ever could've been ready, but I don't regret it.  The entire time I kept thinking about what was going to happen and that only made me even more fidgety. 

I'd talked about having sex with a boyfriend prior, but didn't want to do it any time soon.  That ended up causing relationship problems between us.  He couldn't wait for me to surrender it, and I didn't feel comfortable with him any time soon.

The guy I did feel comfortable with did wait and did talk to me about it a lot before I'd done it.  And since he'd already been with someone, I made him get tested and show me the results.  'Cause, you know, I like to keep my cooch clean and all.  And one day after work I went to visit him, and things happened.

And after that I didn't want to do it anymore.  He understood, and we continued to date, and eventually did it two or three more times before we finally broke up.  I didn't like having sex with him.  It felt like a chore and once we started having sex it was always, "Want to do it?" instead of having a decent conversation.  I was also planning on moving out of state and doing something great with my life.  He was ticked off that I didn't want him to be part of it as we hadn't been dating long enough in my opinion, so we parted ways.

And then I met Alex. :D  Online, of course.  I thought he was going to be one of those dorky little friends who you always pal'd around with, went shopping with, and invited over to help you bake cupcakes.  But as he continued to come over for cupcakes and proved to be my hero a few times, I started developing a mad crush on him.  One night, shortly after he turned 21, he logged online, tipsy, and we talked about random things which eventually lead to my outfit that I'd worn to a concert earlier in the night.  Which was pretty much underwear 'cause that's how I rolled then.

And we started talking about the naughty stuff, and once he sobered up shortly after midnight, he invited me over for a drink with him.  I put on my school girl uniform so I wouldn't be around him in my undies and waited for him to get up to my city.  He lived half an hour away.

I got to his place, saw it for the first time, met his pets, and we watched TV for a while and had a drink together.  This time I was beyond nervous because I really liked him and knew if we did anything, it probably wouldn't mean anything.  He was too involved with his ex-girlfriend for me to admit I had a crush on him and I was in a really bad place in my life.  I didn't think he deserved so much baggage.

But I dove in.  I was the first person to kiss, I was the first person to take off clothes, and before you knew it we were snuggling in after glow.

And then I had a frickin' seizure. :|

But he was a sweet heart, got me dressed, carried me to his car, and rushed me back home so I could get the medication to stop my seizures.  He tucked me into bed, told me to call him in the morning, and went back home.

I love him. I can't wait to marry him. <3  Or to fornicate again.  We usually have a two-a-day type of deal on weekends.

I had just turned 15... He was my best friend and still is, so I guess I'm lucky it was him.  I don't really regret it because I loved him and still do, just in a different way now.  But I do miss the way things were between us then because he meant soo much to me.  I don't think I was ready because I always thought I would wait until I was at least like 18 but you can't change what you've done so..just make sure you won't regret it if you choose to do it!  :) 

16, and I kind of regret it. The person was right, but the reasons for doing so were not.. I thought he'd dump me if I didn't do it, but later on I figured out he wouldn't. Yet the first time still remains in bad memory, simply because I was so nervous that I made it really painful and stressful.

15 and I too regret it.  I wish I was older, I wish I knew more about life and I certainly wish it was for reasons other than what they were for.  Basically...we both just wanted to know "what it was like". 

We ended up sex buddies for about 6 months after that and slept together regularly...but it wasn't until 18 that my life changed...that something clicked and the boyfriend I had at the time was the person I wished I had lost my virginity to.

In retrospect, it doesn't really matter, can't take anything back and I'm fortunate to have had my experiences...but.....if I get to thinking...yes, I wish I had waited. 

 

Original Post by tinkole:

16, and I kind of regret it. The person was right, but the reasons for doing so were not.. I thought he'd dump me if I didn't do it, but later on I figured out he wouldn't. Yet the first time still remains in bad memory, simply because I was so nervous that I made it really painful and stressful.

exactly the same with me. and now i wish i never did

I was 17. I was fully aware of what was going to happen- I had seen it coming for a long time. My boyfriend and I had been dating for almost 9 months. We'd been fooling around for awhile so it just felt like the next step. Besides, I was just plain curious!!! I was scared, unsure, didn't know what my friends or parents would think....ya know, the typical self doubt. But it turned out okay. He never pushed me into it or said he'd leave me if I didn't do it. Never give into the pressure just "because". Make sure YOU are ready. Well, long story short, we dated for the next three years and now we're married!   But be safe- you absolutely do not want any mishaps, because dealing with the consequences will change your whole life.

The way I see it, if I wished and hoped and prayed I could somehow go back in time and wait for Alex to come along to give it up, I probably never would've met him.  In my case, I would've still been too busy working all of the time to be online, but when I was seeing the guy I did lose my virginity to, boredome and cutting back on my work hours to have time to spend with him lead to be logging back into chat rooms, and that's how I met Alex.

There have been things in the past that I do sometimes want to change, like the harsh times Alex and I went through, but he always reminds me, and I remind him, too, when he forgets, that if a single thing had changed, even if it were so much as him not picking up a coloured pencil when he did, something so insignificant and meaningless.. if one thing had changed, we most likely would not be where we are now.  We probably would've broken up or even if we were together, we might not be as strong as we are now, we'll never know.  If one thing had changed, we wouldn't be where we are now, and that's happy.

If you're happy with where you are now, don't regret the things you did in the past.  Don't try to forget it.  It hurts, it sucks, but we need to remember these things.  They effect our futures.

As of yet, never. Still waiting to find somebody I love enough to lose it to.

thanks for your advice.

i guess i'll just see how things go and whatever happens, happens. the only thing i'll regret is if i don't tell him how i feel, and don't take the opportunity we have this christmas to be together. 

I lost my virginity this year when i was 17 (im 18 now tho) to my boyfriend of 3 years [=

I knew i was ready because the moment was just right and because we really do love each other

Edit: Were still together as of this day :).

Original Post by snogirl1022:

how old were you when you guys when you lost your virginity, and when did you know you were ready?

I was in my 30s ... and married to a wonderful man. (He was a virgin, too.)

=^..^= MOLLY

Two week shy of being 19.

i was 16, i don't regret it at all, i had been with the boyfriend at the time for a few months prior and we stayed together for just shy of 2 years.

I'm glad i lost it to someone who at the time time i trusted, and i'm glad i was in a relationship. But in all honestly losing the big V was never a massive issue for me.

first of all, "losing virginity" has always sounded odd to me. like... "oops, where'd that dang thing go, i just had it a minute ago! now where could i have put it...?" it also has a negative tone of impurity to it, which is just BS IMHO.

anyway, i was two weeks shy of my 15th birthday the first time i had sex. i had been with my then-boyfriend for nearly 6 months at the time. i suppose our fooling around just gradually heightened in intensity until it reached that point. he asked me a few times if i was sure i was ready, and i told him that i was, despite the insane butterflies in my stomach. he was nervous too, because it was his first time also.

afterwards, i felt light-headed and almost passed out when i went from his room to the bathroom. i guess i felt a mixture of things, partially guilt because my mom was going through an uncharacteristic ultra-religious stage and NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE was beaten into our skulls at the youth group my mom made me attend at the time. i justified it in my head because we foolishly believed that we'd be high school sweethearts forever, ha!

we went out to dinner with his mom and little brother the same night, and i remember sitting accross from his mom and feeling a little embarrassed, and thinking, "i wonder if she knows... i wonder if she can tell... i wonder if she's thought that we've done it by now anyway..."

i was with him for about 8 months after that, meanwhile gradually drifting apart. we actually totally hated each other after the breakup for petty reasons for a little while, but we patched things up and occasionally check in with each other via email- he lives across the country now!

as far as regretting it... i don't wholeheartedly regret it, as our feelings for each other were very real and strong at the time. i do wish that i could have fully enjoyed the experience without the shame and awkwardness, though. however i don't feel as though i squandered something precious that i should have "saved" for someone else.

that said, don't rush into anything if you feel pressured and unsure, and if the circumstances aren't pleasing! if you have doubts, you are probably not ready. you have plenty of time ahead of you to enjoy intimacy with a person you trust, with whom you feel safe, comfortable, and good about yourself!