How old is too old?

So what do you think? Some people say "There's no age limit for love", others say that there should only be one or two years between lovers.

Personally, I can't seriously look at someone more than four years older than I am. And, when a guy is younger, it really depends on his maturity level.

What's everyone's opinion?

My husband is 16 years older then me. I have no issues with age gaps granted both parties are over 18, have lots in common, and they are headed down the same life path.

I'm 23... and always said no more than 4 years. However, since I've moved I've started dating guys up to 33. It seems a lot different here though because most guys in Korea are in college until 26-27 (because they have mandatory military service) and I've been out of college for 2 years so I like to date someone on the same path as me. I guess when I go back to university in the Fall for my MA, I'll go back to dating college students.

I think it just depends on each couple...

I can't tell how old you are from your profile but I'm assuming you are in your early twenties?  I have dated men that were 6-14-17 years older than me.  It makes a big difference the younger you are.  I can't even begin tho ponder dating a man THAT much older than me now.  When I was 25, the 39 year old guy I was dating seemed kind of mature/cool, but now I think of men that much older than me as WAY too old to date now that I'm 42.  Ideally, a guy your own age is best, but everyone is just so different.  And I mean no offense to anyone in a relationship with someone older.  I tried it, there were just too many generational gaps for me.

Older younger.... dated them all....older by  15 and younger by 8 ... my husband is 4 years older. What I find is that when they are closer in age there are similar drives, social exposure and interests that motivate the relationship. I prefer closer in age but is not one of my top 10 criteria for a mate.... many things matter far more such as hygine and ambition just for starters. Good luck!!

3 years older 2 years yunger are my guidelines that arent stricktly followed XD

I am only 20, and right now I'd say about 1 year younger and 3 years older are about right for me. However, I've dated a guy who is 6 years older than me... so obviously I'm not very good at my own guidelines!

Basically, just date someone you like. Maye try to avoid anything more than 20 years? You don't want to spend your life together only to leave them behind for decades after you die or vice versa, I think.

I'm the same way, I didn't want to date anyone older than 23-24, now that I am 23, I've upped it to 25 lol...my bf is turning 26, and that's weird for me for some reason.

I find it has more to do with your stage in life and current goals than anything else.  To me, it is quite unlikely that someone 10 years my senior is going to be in a similar place.  I grew up more quickly than most, and had a lot of responsibilities quite young, so the truth is, I've always found it easier to relate to people who are older than I am. 

One other thing I've kind of noticed, just sort of..generally: Guys my own age or younger who were interested in me seemed to be seeking more of an equal partner to date, whereas guys much older than me who were interested seemed to be seeking someone lesser or maybe..submissive.  I mean, someone more complacent, someone for them to control or influence, someone who will not argue with or defy them, etc.  That is just generally the impression I got. 

All that said: I'm dating someone 5 years older than I am.

Edited to add: I'm 24.

i think a big age difference is problematic in many ways.  i've seen teenage girls stuck at home every weekend because they're not old enough to go to the bars with their "legal" boyfriends; i've seen guys in their mid to late 20s dating much younger girls because their emotional & intellectual maturity hasn't kept pace with women their own age; and i've seen relationships dissolve because one partner is ready to settle down while the other still wants to party/travel/focus on their education.  there's also the other end of the spectrum, where one partner is still healthy and active, but the other is declining.

and what constitutes a "big age difference" varies, too, according to the time of life you're in.  at 16, three years can be a lot.  at 45, ten years might seem irrelevant.  but at 70, five years can be the difference been an active retiree and a senior with serious mobility challenges.

mostly, you want to have the same priorities.  if you're in school, you might want to date someone who's also in school so that they understand and respect what's important to you, and so that they have the same demands on their time.  otherwise, it's easy to start neglecting school, family, and friends, and things can really fall apart.

My oldest daughter just turned 21 her bf of 3 years now is 10 years older than her. 

I've dated men anywhere from 2 years younger to 30 years older.  My hubby of 23 years is 2 years older than me but when we met I was dating men much older than me. 

 

im 18 and my boyfriend is 31. i dont think theres an age limit for love.

i found someone who i care about, cares for me, we enjoy the same things and activities, have the same goals, same values, and come to agreements that fit us both (while still being able to debate things, we both have a love for debating), and we love to do things together and spend time together, and we both love to talk about how the world is full of ignorant, selfish, stupid, etc etc people (we both believe that the general person isnt a very "stellar" citizen). so, does it matter than hes 12 and a half year older than me? i dont care. i

id rather be happy and in love with someone 12 and half years older than me than be unhappy with someone my age, just because of an age difference issue.

im not in love with him yet, at least i dont think so. we've only been together for about 6 months, so its hard to tell. but i care deeply for him, and i can see myself falling in love with him.

How old is too old?

The answer to that really depends on you. This is something that you can only answer for yourself. What you have in common, attraction and chemistry is normally what determines where something goes when nature takes its course. Some are closed minded and won't let that happen if there is a little age difference. Each to their own. My personal opinion is if both are over 25 the age thing doesn't matter a whole lot.

All a matter of personal preference. And I don't really think an 18 year old with a 30 year old is any different than a 25 year old with a 40 year old. If you are happy, you are happy. Life is too short.

It really depends on the people.

My husband is 5 years younger than me, and we've been together for almost 10 years (married for almost 3).  One of my aunts is married to a man 12? years older than her, and they've been happy together for decades.

We have had alot of this in my family. There 12 year difference in my in laws, My mom and stepdad are 16 yrs apart and my aunt and uncle were (he just past away) 17 years apart. My husband and I are 1 yrs apart and that works for my. When my mom, and aunt were in their 40's which is still young their husbands were in their 60's   ( the same age their parent were ) and retiring and when they reached their 70's it was like playing nurse and now in their husband 80's it's the pits.    My sister in law was in her 30's when they had their 1st child he was in his 50's and he died when the child was 11yrs old . I think you just need to be aware of what might me down the road.

this topic makes me laugh.  if you're 18 (or 16 or 20) and your boyfriend is 30, and you have "everything in common" it's probably because your boyfriend stopped maturing 10 or 12 years ago.  that's all well and good now, but if you think he's going to magically start maturing to keep up with you, you're probably going to be disappointed.

gypsie, the situation in your family is a little different: by 40 and 60, hopefully both partners are adults.  but yeah, i sure wouldn't want to be in my 60s and married to an octogenarian.

anyway, i'm pretty sure that juhiera is talking about a two or three year difference between teenagers, which isn't a big deal, especially because they're not likely thinking in terms of marriage.

I am going to be 39 tomorrow, my husband will be 24 in a couple of weeks. I probably did stop maturing around 15 so there's that. Honestly though, it really works for us. My husband is a brilliant software developer and makes great money, and he is more mature than me (not hard to do). When I was his age everyone I knew was just finishing college and still acting like life is one giant kegger. He is very into his career and doesn't act like a college kid.

As for me, none of my friends will do the things I like to do which are go to shows and concerts where I come home bruised and battered, or fly out for three day music festivals. None of them take off and spend the day hanging out downtown. My husband lives for those things like I do. Luckily he looks a lot older than he is and I tend to look younger. I think there is an obvious age difference but one ever assumes 15 years. I am way more self conscious of that than he is. Like pgeorian stated, what happens when I'm 80 and he's still 65? I worry :(

My favorite comic gives the "Standard Creepiness Rule:

Don't date under (age/2+7).

You can see it here:  http://xkcd.com/314/

 

i used to have a rule that i wouldn't go 5 years above or below my age, but as i get older, that's becoming restrictive. not to mention arbitrary. 

i don't like to date much younger guys, only because i'm 28 and younger guys are young 20-somethings and they-- well, enough said. but i'll date an older guy. i'm comfortable with guys in their early-mid 30s. late 30s is okay if he's a "young" late-30s. active, fun, outgoing. 40 kinda creeps me out. (i've read too much freud, which is partly why i don't wanna date a young guy, too).

so if i'm putting a boundary on it, i'd say i'm good with guys 27-39. that's a pretty broad range, but i wouldn't rule a guy out automatically if he didn't fall within that range.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

this topic makes me laugh.  if you're 18 (or 16 or 20) and your boyfriend is 30, and you have "everything in common" it's probably because your boyfriend stopped maturing 10 or 12 years ago.  that's all well and good now, but if you think he's going to magically start maturing to keep up with you, you're probably going to be disappointed.

gypsie, the situation in your family is a little different: by 40 and 60, hopefully both partners are adults.  but yeah, i sure wouldn't want to be in my 60s and married to an octogenarian.

anyway, i'm pretty sure that juhiera is talking about a two or three year difference between teenagers, which isn't a big deal, especially because they're not likely thinking in terms of marriage.

 Nah, I meant all around. I wanted to hear everyone's take on things. Marriage or not.