What does a 45 year old woman look like?

I don't have a clue if I look ok for my age.  I had an 18 year old ask me if I was my mother's sister (she is 82) but I am still asked for my ID when I go into a store to buy wine that is not familar with me.  My dermatolgist says I look fine and shouldn't be concerned but that kid's question really threw me for a loop.  The main flaw on my face is on my forehead and that is due to skin cancer surgery.  I won't ever go without bangs again.

OMG   Your mother must look GEAT for her age! I am sure you can look around and see what 45 yr olds look like. Make up and hairdos make a big diff. Also the way you dress can make a big impact. Dress as young as you feel. Have fun with it!

       &nb sp;               &nb sp;               &nb sp;               &nb sp; 47 and loving it!

Most 18 year olds (or teenagers) aren't very good at estimating the ages of anyone over 30.  I figured that out after something similar happened to me. 

49 in 2 weeks

Original Post by sandraboire:

Most 18 year olds (or teenagers) aren't very good at estimating the ages of anyone over 30.  I figured that out after something similar happened to me. 

49 in 2 weeks

 

 Amen to that.  The teenagers think that 30 is OLD, like "really old"...  Oh, what do they know, life only starts at that age!

As for how the 45 year old woman's body is supposed to look like - only you can answer that because it is how YOU see yourself and not how others see you (some are kind and some are not, not much you can do about their attitudes).  And also it is how you WANT to see yourself, if you believe you're fat, you will actually act it out so many times that people will start "treating you fat"...  Just don't get all hung up on the photos of celebs on the web, on tv and in the movies.  They usually buy their looks, anything from lipos to hair extensions to veneered teeth... Heck if I had that kind of money, I'd probably get some work done too, but these people are hardly role models...

One semi-role model to me would be Jamie Lee Curtis.  Yes, she's been "enhanced" in the past but she decided to age gracefully, and she really does it well.  Even Jessica Simpson (although she's still far from 45) decided to be who she wants to be, not a skeletor on 4 inch heels to please the public.  Screw the public!  Be who YOU are and be happy; the rest will happen!

Hi,

  I'm new to this site, just joined today.  But when I saw your question I had to respond..  lol  I often wonder what I am supposed to FEEL like at my age. I get that question more.... "So, what does it feel like to be almost 50" ....... I'm not sure what it's supposed to feel like, because I don't really feel much different than I did 20 years ago. My friend says I am in denial about getting old. But I say just because I am getting older doesn't mean that I  have to get "old"  I refuse to crawl off in a corner somewhere and be an old lady. And as far as what I look like, I just look like me :)   Sometimes people ask if my daughters are my sisters and then sometimes I get asked if I need the senior citizen discount  LOL,  I figure if you don't like the way I look...don't look

I just joined today, also. I agree with you about not knowing how I'm supposed to feel about my age or body. For one, I am the same person I was at 20 (with a little more perspective) and I am the same person I was when I was skinny and cute. Frankly, since I've never had a hairdo and makeup thing, as long as I don't go clothes shopping or look at pictures I can totally forget about age and weight-- my friends and husband certainly don't say anything to me. But, my kids are starting to encourage me to lose weight and care more about how I look and that makes me think-- I don't want them to be embarassed by the way their mom looks. So, I have to balance health (being this weight isn't healthy), the worry that my kids are embarassed, the worry that my kids are superficial!! and just being me. It will be an interesting story to tell sometime later (hopefully minus 50 lbs. later!!)

I need to lose about 40 pounds so I know what you mean. My daughters also fight  weight problems and my 24 year old still lives at home with me, so we are supporting each other. My initial goal was to improve my health and to have the chance to be around for  awhile for my kids and grandkids. And that goal still is first and foremost for me, but looking better and feeling sexy at the ripe old age of 48 (49 in April) will be icing on the cake!  My blood pressure is a little high and I am hoping to correct that before medicine is needed to control it. I already take thyroid meds and really don't want to ad any more meds. I am looking forward to staying connected to people here that are working toward similar goals and hopefully making some friends. It sure makes it easier when you have someone that supports you and that you can support too. 

Wow, you sound like my sister from another mother-- I also have thyroid issues and HBP. My oldest is 12 and his dad and I wonder if he's getting pudgy or just about ready to have a growth spurt, but at any rate he doesn't get enough physical activity so I added him to our gym membership last week and he loves it. I think it makes him feel important to be exercising like the adults. But having him want to go to the gym definitely helps me, though he only goes a half hour or so and I should be doing an hour altogether. This site tells me I need to lose 50 lbs, but I am not sure about that number because I was 140 for a really long time and quite active and seemed skinny. But really, at this point (190), 40 or 50 lbs is parsing the details and a long way away!

I am not sure what an average 45 year old looks like... Celebrities certainly are not a good model of normality... The other day I peeked at some of the profiles of my old high school classmates and was a bit shocked at how 'old' some of them looked... though I recently met my old best friend from childhood and she looked 25 (and is in her 40s)...she lives in Vancouver though so the constant rain and no sun might have helped... (cringing thinking back to putting baby oil on my face and baking in the sun as a teen)...

I suspect I don't look any younger than my classmates but I am in heavy denial... or maybe some of us truly are younger at heart than others... I am short which I think helps in looking younger...but I could be wrong...

I remember my grandmother telling me (I believe when she was 90-she died at 95) that inside her is a perpetual 20 year old (she was shocked after cataract surgery to see she had so many wrinkles--she asked to have the surgery reversed.lol).... Now I am starting to get that... I recall as a child I thought when I was an adult I would feel so together and responsible... I don't feel that way, and shouldn't I yet considering I am almost 42 and am a parent of two school age kids?  Should I not feel like an adult yet? I don't...  I still drive around blasting music in the car and get jumping up and down excited over going to a concert or a movie I want to see or even just going out to dinner... seriously it is bizarre sometimes when I look in the mirror and there is this "older" face looking back at me!  Its like where did that face come from and what's up with all the silver hairs....

I can imagine if I am lucky enough to make it to my grandmothers age (probably not as she was so laidback where I am a basketcase) I will be sitting with my headphones on my ears (or plugged directly into my brain as technology may allow by then) and people will be thinking I'm listening to some nice orderly oldtimer music when in fact I'll be blasting some top40 and fanatasizing about an affair with a singer or something...  Perhaps by then I can live in a virtual world where I will be a 25 year old avator forever...

Wow!  Some of my thoughts got into your head some how!  LOL  My grandmother is 91 and says she feels 40(sometimes anyway) , so hopefully I can be like that too.  I like the avatar prospect...actually my grandson made me one that kinda looks like a 25 year old,  I sure love that grandson of mine   It's funny, I am the baby in my family and sometimes I feel like I am the big sister.  But mostly I still feel like the little sister  lol  I think almost everyday I have the thought run through my head that I just really shouldn't be this old yet 

Funny, I was just asking myself this question last night.  I am 49 I sure don't feel 49, except for those extra 10-15 lbs. I have found impossible to lose. I take a lot of care of myself (exercise, sunscreen, dermatologist) but I certainly don't want to come to obsess about how I look.  This is the happiest I have felt I think, with two kids in college and my little one graduating in June.  I love the wisdom and maturity that comes with age, I love how very few things rob me of my inner peace, I love sharing my life with my husband and having been married for 24 years, I love and embrace life with gusto. So I can assure you that at 49 I look much better than at my slim, trim, unlined face of 29!

Well see then, it's settled. We all look great! Funny, I came here to get the mathematical facts about calories since I got a formula (nothing secret, 3500 calorie deficit = 1 lb. body fat loss) and instead I found some kindred spirits. Which is  a good thing, because yesterday I went to my fitness center's "Boot Camp" and came out an hour later nauseous and in pain. Today the only muscle that doesn't hurt is my tongue, I've decided.

I'm 43 with a 2 year old, and have had men in grocery stores ask me if I'm her mom or her grandmother. I don't look as old as I am. Never have, but it's still kind of painful. Although it might be a logical question to ask someone my age, it's completely crass and I immediately know I'm dealing with somebody in the clueless category. I generally just answer as kindly as I can, since I'm dealing with the manners impaired "I'm her mother" and quickly leave. Same as asking a woman when she's due if you aren't 100% certain that she's pregnant.  I must say that it's only older men who have done this (the same people who don't know that if your kid is wearing blue jeans but has on a pink flowered shirt, it's a girl.) People don't mean to be rude. They just sometimes say the first thing that pops into their little brains. It is also true that young adults and teens think anybody over 30 is ancient! LOL

Original Post by magaliamouse:

I'm 43 with a 2 year old, and have had men in grocery stores ask me if I'm her mom or her grandmother. I don't look as old as I am. Never have, but it's still kind of painful. Although it might be a logical question to ask someone my age, it's completely crass and I immediately know I'm dealing with somebody in the clueless category. I generally just answer as kindly as I can, since I'm dealing with the manners impaired "I'm her mother" and quickly leave. Same as asking a woman when she's due if you aren't 100% certain that she's pregnant.  I must say that it's only older men who have done this (the same people who don't know that if your kid is wearing blue jeans but has on a pink flowered shirt, it's a girl.) People don't mean to be rude. They just sometimes say the first thing that pops into their little brains. It is also true that young adults and teens think anybody over 30 is ancient! LOL

 Ah yes, those older men with their strange rude questions... Actually, I think older women ask weird things also...for example my husband used to take our kids to the playgroup when they were young and "grandmas" there (and by grandmas I mean little white haired grandmas who were very obviously grandmas ) used to smile at him and ask if he was "babysitting" that day.... This irked him a lot because they assume because its the "dad" taking the kids its a special event and how can you babysit your own kids? 

sigh...just remembered a comment by my father in law about how much weight I had put on...he said it the same way someone would comment about the weather...I told him it was a pretty brave comment for a man who might need some 'help' some day...

Excellent reply on both parts, Magliamouse and funwow! When I look through my years of journals I find "NOTE TO SELF:" entries written to my future self reminding me not to do certain annoying or hurtful things when I am a parent to my teenage child. I think this merits a NOTE TO SELF entry for us when we are older-- don't say the first thing that comes to mind, even if you think your advanced age gives you the right to. It's like the older folks have lost their affective filter or something. My German uncle commented when seeing some recent pictures of me that he wishes I would dress better. I'm sure the subtext of that is that he is surprised at how much weight I've gained. When my mother reported this to me (which she shouldn't have done), I got just furious at this old guy I rarely see. I had to really sit on my heels and decide whether his opinion is something I take into account when I reckon my self-esteem. He is certainly not the reason I am losing weight. Me, myself, and I am the reason I am doing this, and that old fart can stew in it in Germany!!

I suppose we all deal with the manner impaired, the kindness challenged, and so forth. It's a good thing we can get on this board and tell our stories. You have given me some perspective today, and I just busted up laughing at myself for even caring what strangers (and even rude family members) have said to me about various subjects.

As my dad says "Don't put your mouth in gear without engaging your brain." I'll be especially careful from now on (cross my heart) to do so, so I don't blurt out anything dumb myself!! I'd hate to catch myself doing the very thing I don't like.  I love your NOTE TO SELF idea, vickiharsh!!!