OLDer mums: Yay or Nay?!

There's been so much in the news lately about women in their late sixties and now seventies trying to get IVF to become pregnant, because there "wasn't the time" when they were younger and fertile.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-120 0267/ALLISON-PEARSON-Deluded-selfish--worlds- oldest-mum-mockery-motherhood.html

Yes, I know this is a horrible, opiniated, trashy article from an awful excuse for a paper but it gets the point across!

http://www.manchesterconfidential.com/index.a sp?sessionx=IpqiNwTpNwXjIwJ6IHqjNwB6IA

This woman, Jenny Brown, is 72! SEVENTY TWO!!!

Personally I think it's wrong wrong wrong. For this reason:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8152002.stm http://

So what does everyone else think?

I'm sorry, but the only thing I can think of are those babies coming out of her old, bristly, flappy vagina.  :\

I don't care what people do but I feel bad for the child who will grow up without a mother sooner than they should. :( I would not want to be very old when my child is in their 20s and maybe even die before then!

At 72, will she be healthy enough to give birth? Child birth alone does so much damage and stress to the body, I don't know many 70+ year olds that could handle that! Nevermind chasing a toddler around. It seems selfish to me. But meh, people will do what they want and who am I to judge them? =/

Original Post by cptbunny:

I don't care what people do but I feel bad for the child who will grow up without a mother sooner than they should. :( I would not want to be very old when my child is in their 20s and maybe even die before then!

At 72, will she be healthy enough to give birth? Child birth alone does so much damage and stress to the body, I don't know many 70+ year olds that could handle that! Nevermind chasing a toddler around. It seems selfish to me. But meh, people will do what they want and who am I to judge them? =/

Exctly, how awful for those poor children. Even if the mothers live to 100 they won't be able to run around in the park playing football, taxi-ing them home from friend's houses at midnight when tye're teenagers etc. Most likely the child would end up being her carer.

And it sort of seems as though Jenny Brown is just wanting to be the "world's oldest mother" regardless. Like it's a gimmick. Just doesn't sit right with me

There was a thread about this not so long ago.

I can't recall the name of it...Can anyone else remember the name of that thread?

" Elderly lady has baby! Tell me your views and opinions on the matter!"

:) It was something along those lines a few months back. A thread that was based on a story published by a lot of trash magazines.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/17 /worlds-oldest-mom-dies/?hp

That's so sad. Cancer can get anyone though to be fair. It's old age that's more "avoidable" if you have the baby earlier in life.

Original Post by enchantingimage:

There was a thread about this not so long ago.

I can't recall the name of it...Can anyone else remember the name of that thread?

" Elderly lady has baby! Tell me your views and opinions on the matter!"

:) It was something along those lines a few months back. A thread that was based on a story published by a lot of trash magazines.

Ooops for re-posting about it then, didn't know!

I'm not basing it on the tabloids, I just posted some links in case anybody hadn't heard about it.

I first became aware of it after listening to an interview with Sue Tollefsen who gave birth at 58, on BBC Radio 4 (obviously not trashy!!).

Original Post by misscherryjane:

Original Post by enchantingimage:

There was a thread about this not so long ago.

I can't recall the name of it...Can anyone else remember the name of that thread?

" Elderly lady has baby! Tell me your views and opinions on the matter!"

:) It was something along those lines a few months back. A thread that was based on a story published by a lot of trash magazines.

Ooops for re-posting about it then, didn't know!

I'm not basing it on the tabloids, I just posted some links in case anybody hadn't heard about it.

I first became aware of it after listening to an interview with Sue Tollefsen who gave birth at 58, on BBC Radio 4 (obviously not trashy!!).

  No biggie.

 I wish I could remember the name of the thread about the elderly mother that was posted...though. I think it was about a different elderly lady giving birth to one. ( Not twins. ) There were a lot of strong stances on both sides.  :) 

" How old is too old/young? " Those are loaded questions for most people.

Why is that so bad?  Usually by that age people can afford more help both in the house and out of the house.  If she dies, someone else will raise the children.  I think it's much worse for young , uneducated, irresponsible people to have babies.  Someone else usually has to raise those children, plus support the young mothers. Seems like the children lose less with a dead mommy than one who neglects them

I say more power to the women who think they can do this at such a *mature* age and time in their lives. However, I do agree it's a little unfair to the children as they obviously won't have much of a life with their mother. They will experience this heartache very early on. It will be especially hard for a little girl who needs their mother for certain things such as help with womanly issues, the day she weds..etc. Not to mention all the fun activities they will miss with their mother as she won't be able to move like she did when she was younger.

Also it may also be a tad embarrassing for the children once they are in school when most of the other parents will be young while their mother is the same age as most children's grandmothers. I can only think of all the snickers from other children (kids, well hell even adults can be cruel.) I'm sure they'll get a lot of "Is that your grandmother?" "No, that's my mom." "Why is your mother so old? She looks a lot like my grandma." And so on..so these kids will constantly be explaining themselves.....

My parents were in their mid-40's when they adopted me.  It was not fun to have older parents.  My mom was usually too tired to play with me or do things with me.  During high school I worried about having enough money since they were retiring and what would happen to me if they died before I could become independent.  I don't think it is fair to put kids through that.  No kid should have to worry about their parents dying at such a young age.  Their friends were older too, so they didn't have kids.  My parents were not friends with my friends' parents.  I didn't have many playmates.  I didn't have siblings my own age or live in a neighborhood with other kids--only other older folks.  (I know a lot of people have it a lot harder, but I am just talking about the impact of having older parents and how it affected me personally)

Because of this, I promised myself that I would have my kids when I was young enough to give them the attention they need.  I can't even IMAGINE what it would be like to have an elderly mother as a tiny child.  Horrible horrible!  I think it is very selfish to have a baby at 50, 60, 70...

Original Post by silentdeadlyrose:

Also it may also be a tad embarrassing for the children once they are in school when most of the other parents will be young while their mother is the same age as most children's grandmothers. I can only think of all the snickers from other children (kids, well hell even adults can be cruel.) I'm sure they'll get a lot of "Is that your grandmother?" "No, that's my mom." "Why is your mother so old? She looks a lot like my grandma." And so on..so these kids will constantly be explaining themselves.....

 Yes, that was my experience.  It was not fun.

I won't judge women in their 40s, maybe even early 50s who are healthy, energetic and just never realized how much they wanted children. After that, it becomes a selfish act to bring a new life into this world. There are babies and children who need parenting- adopt one and take on that parenting/ grandparenting role and the whole world will honor your generosity. The medical expense involved in getting pregnant and delivering a child at advanced ages is money poorly spent and a selfish act that does not take the child's well being into consideration. (You see, I can be judgmental when provoked by foolish acts.)

I also think that mom who has like 18 kids is extremely selfish as well. You can't give each and every kid the attention that he/she needs when you have 17 others to look after.

I think parents should only have kids if they can provide optimal care. A 60 year old cannot. A mother with 17 other kids cannot.

My parents were also older when they adopted.  Dad kept up while he could and then my mom got very sick and he started working more and more to escape her verbal abuse.  Guess who got the brunt?

I've played the "Oh how nice of you to help your granny" game way too much and I know much as I shrugged it off it really hurt my mom.  She gets called "Great Gran" on accident by some now with my kids so I know that one is even worse.

Had a friend have to take time off from college to bury his dad and take care of mom and then lost mom when he was in grad school.  I almost would have traded that with him then to have had my mom gone when I needed her most as a teenager.  I never got the "mom & daughter" shopping trips or hair cuts or manicures or whatever you're actually supposed to do with your mom.  

I can't really agree with it.  An oops baby is one thing but on purpose honestly no.  When there's age associated risks factored in it's just not something I can agree on for anyone in their 60s+ to do IVF.  

I want my mom to live forever.. I told her I wouldn't let her die until I'm at least 75.  That way I'll be too old to really know what's going on.

I couldn't imagine being 10, 15, 20, even younger, and having my mom die of NATURAL causes... gah!  These women are so selfish.  They should just be surrogates if they are that obsessed with pregnancy or better yet.. foster parents!

I don't approve of people (men or women) that old having kids, but that doesn't mean they should be prevented from doing so, or that they will automatically be unfit parents. People have kids in much worse circumstances and for much worse reasons all the time.

I don't believe that it should be legal or allowed to receive money for any reproductive services or transactions whatsoever, however - egg donation, sperm donation, surrogacy, adoption etc. NO money, not a dime, not even "for expenses". And yes, the sources of eggs and surrogates would dry up drastically and become limited to close friends and family members, as happens in countries where payment is prohibited. And I'm fine with that.

And it would be pretty tricky for someone past their 40s to have a baby without a donor egg.

I'm 67 and I say these women are out of their freakin' minds. They don't need a baby, they need psychotherapy.  If their lives are so empty that they feel they need a baby, there's far more going on than that.  Get a damn hobby, go read to the kids at the library, take a class, travel, but don't subject a child to your demise when they are too young to understand. 

Original Post by huggitbear:

My parents were in their mid-40's when they adopted me.  It was not fun to have older parents.  My mom was usually too tired to play with me or do things with me.  During high school I worried about having enough money since they were retiring and what would happen to me if they died before I could become independent.  I don't think it is fair to put kids through that.  No kid should have to worry about their parents dying at such a young age.  Their friends were older too, so they didn't have kids.  My parents were not friends with my friends' parents.  I didn't have many playmates.  I didn't have siblings my own age or live in a neighborhood with other kids--only other older folks.  (I know a lot of people have it a lot harder, but I am just talking about the impact of having older parents and how it affected me personally)

Because of this, I promised myself that I would have my kids when I was young enough to give them the attention they need.  I can't even IMAGINE what it would be like to have an elderly mother as a tiny child.  Horrible horrible!  I think it is very selfish to have a baby at 50, 60, 70...

 I was adopted, too!  My parents were 33 and 36 and I thought they were OLD when I was in grade school. 

Regarding the past 50 mothers - crazy to me!

Original Post by clairelaine:

I'm 67 and I say these women are out of their freakin' minds. They don't need a baby, they need psychotherapy.  If their lives are so empty that they feel they need a baby, there's far more going on than that.  Get a damn hobby, go read to the kids at the library, take a class, travel, but don't subject a child to your demise when they are too young to understand. 

 I'm with ya, hon!!