OMG i did it!!!! :))

today i reached my goal weight for the first time. i am SO glad. i decided this morning to look at my life and realized how far ive really come in the last year. last year this time i was locked up in juvy at a lovely weight of 150 pounds severely depressed and having suicidal thoughts several times a day, when i got home i was cutting and i had horrible episodes with my bipolar which was completely out of control. now i am 110 pounds, i eat a healthy diet, exercise has helped my bipolar TIMES A MILLION and so has my diet. ive only thought of suicide ONCE in the last two months which is a HUGE step for me, and ive only had one afternoon of crying uncontrollably like i used to do several times a day. i have a wonderful boyfriend who;s more like a best friend and he treats me so much better than my bf last year who is going to jail for the things he did to me. ive been meditating and gaining a better understanding of who i am and what thoughts i have standing in my way. i have a generally positive outlook on life and im just happy to be here AND i didnt use ANY drugs, and i didnt spend ANY money on anything for weight loss. (also last year i was still using adderall and abusing other prescription drugs like pain killers and anti psychotics, smoking pot and cig etc)

all my family sees is maybe the weight loss, and since i didnt graduate from high school and i dont have a job so ive been feeling like im something of a failure a little bit lately but i have been working so hard to get better and today im just going to appreciate how far ive come. and i just wanted to tell everyone :)

i just feel wonderful

Great job.  Feeling good about yourself and living life is so much more important than what others feel about you.  There are people in my family that have different experience than me, some are like what you experience. I cansay from the other side that it is difficult to see the good through the bad sometimes, mostly because we fear the bad will resurface and take over again. 

Best of luck on your future and WTG on meeting your goal.... the many goals that you have reached is amazing!

well thats just it - i dealt with my problems instead of pushing them away and ive totally changed my lifestyle. ah just thinking of how crappy my life was then amazes me. i dont think i will ever go back. things will get hard but i have much better ways to deal with everything now.

Congratulations, nek! Well done on all fronts!

You know, there's lots of people who lament, "MAN! I wish I was [17, 22, 30, etc.] again!" But not me. I wouldn't trade your age for mine for ANYthing!

These years can be real crappy for you, so don't waste time with people who mistreat you or whom you feel you might hurt their feelings by NOT hanging with them. Even if it's your family.

haliz is spot on: "Feeling good about yourself and living life is so much more important than what others feel about you."

And, more than that, YOU are spot on!: "today im just going to appreciate how far ive come."

Y'know, kid, that's a lesson most ADULTS haven't learned (some never will!).

It's totally okay to pat yourself on the back. "Content but not Complacent."

I genuinely and sincerely congratulate you.

All the best,

=DnD

agreed. i dont think i will ever be able to relate to anyone who has ever in their life said, "man, i wish i was in highschool" lol. but thats just me now maybe ill change. im just glad i grew up and took responsibility for myself.  doing just a little can go a really long way :)

congrats on meeting your goal!  you rock!!!  :D

wow.  that's just great!

You're an inspiration Nektr, you really are. I have a lot of the same issues as you, but instead of being tiny all my life, I was normal, then dropped a TON of weight after a really, really long depressive episode which manifested itself in several EDs. I'm just now starting to get all of that back under control, and you're right, it's awesome. It's so amazing to look back and see how far you've come and dear, you HAVE come far! I agree, I wouldn't want to go back to high school, or middle school either for that matter. College is where I started to really figure out that this wasn't how I want to live, and I'm still tripping up and making a mess of things, but now I'm starting to get it. I'm not in a hole, I'm in a tunnel. And it has an end. And that makes a world of difference. 

Original Post by nektr:

today i reached my goal weight for the first time. i am SO glad. i decided this morning to look at my life and realized how far ive really come in the last year. last year this time i was locked up in juvy at a lovely weight of 150 pounds severely depressed and having suicidal thoughts several times a day, when i got home i was cutting and i had horrible episodes with my bipolar which was completely out of control. now i am 110 pounds, i eat a healthy diet, exercise has helped my bipolar TIMES A MILLION and so has my diet. ive only thought of suicide ONCE in the last two months which is a HUGE step for me, and ive only had one afternoon of crying uncontrollably like i used to do several times a day. i have a wonderful boyfriend who;s more like a best friend and he treats me so much better than my bf last year who is going to jail for the things he did to me. ive been meditating and gaining a better understanding of who i am and what thoughts i have standing in my way. i have a generally positive outlook on life and im just happy to be here AND i didnt use ANY drugs, and i didnt spend ANY money on anything for weight loss. (also last year i was still using adderall and abusing other prescription drugs like pain killers and anti psychotics, smoking pot and cig etc)

all my family sees is maybe the weight loss, and since i didnt graduate from high school and i dont have a job so ive been feeling like im something of a failure a little bit lately but i have been working so hard to get better and today im just going to appreciate how far ive come. and i just wanted to tell everyone :)

i just feel wonderful

im so happy for you. yes i hear that regular excercise and sunlight are good for bipolar people because it get your circadian rhythm back into cycle.thats so cool your doing well.

thanks thanks everyone :))

congrats.  thank you for sharing your story with us all.

Congratulations!  I just started this week and it is good to hear a success story. I just wanted to add that it is never to late in life to get the things you want and need.  I was a dismal high school student so my GPA was not good.  After a divorce (I was married 30 years), I started college at the age of 54 and will be going into my second year next month at a small liberal arts college.  (I even had to take freshmen gym with all the 18 year olds. . .a humbling experience I assure you).  I made Dean's List this spring.  So never think it is too late for you.  Get your GED if you can.  I met several women in college who had to get their GED's first.  Many colleges have programs and tuition breaks for "non-traditional" students.  

You have come this far in one year, you have the rest of your life to live. 

P.S.  I also have a son who had severe drug issues.  He kicked his addictions and is now in his junior year of college (he's 26) and he also made Dean's List. (3.8 GPA) There was a time when I never thought I would be here or that he would get better. . .but here we are.  Keep faith in yourself and when things get rough remember how far you have come and on the good days remember how far you can go.

God bless and keep you.

congratulations nektr! keep up the amazing work :)

we're all so proud of you!