Is there one in EVERY family?

Ok....I have a cousin.  She isn't severely over weight, just could probably afford to lose 20 lbs.  Do you think it would KILL her to EVER give me a compliment??  I have lost 91 lbs and she just says "WOW I BET YOU HAVE A LOT OF LOOSE SKIN FLOPPING AROUND EH?"

WTF???  UMMM NO.  Actually i DON'T.  Probably thanks to never giving birth.

She goes to the same family dr as myself and last time I went for an appointment, our doctor told me how my cousin was talking about my massive weight loss.  Still not really saying anything positive.  It would KILL her to even say "WTG"......GRRRRRRRR she pi$$es me off!  Maybe I should offer her my old "XXXL clothes"?  HA HA HA

~H~

Posting new pics this week! WOOT WOOT

bleh...some people. All I have to say is you look amazing and congrats!!!!

Yeah you do look amazing! I just checked out your gallery--screw anyone who doesn't tell you how great you look! She's jealous, just let it go.

I read this and just had to look at your gallery and I will say it for your cousin... you LOOK AMAZING! OMG! You are a huge inspiration for me! Just wow. You look awesome!!

My guess would be that she is insecure about herself. She sees all you have accomplished and may wonder why she cannot do the same, especially when she has so much less to lose than you did. So when she says something like that to you, she is trying to make herself feel better, trying to convince herself that she is better off weighing more because, probably, underneath your clothes, you look terrible, yada yada.

It's also possible that she always envied certain things about you, and when you were larger she could tell herself that at least she was the thinner one. Now she can't say that anymore. And so she has to find a new way to feel better about herself.

Does that make it OK? No. But it might make it easier to ignore.

Don't let it bother you, and don't stoop to her level. Just go on kicking butt with your healthy lifestyle and looking great. Looking great is the best revenge. And you do. And she knows it, too.

If she won't say it, I will: WTG!!!!

Original Post by haley_2008:

Ok....I have a cousin. She isn't severely over weight, just could probably afford to lose 20 lbs. Do you think it would KILL her to EVER give me a compliment?? I have lost 91 lbs and she just says "WOW I BET YOU HAVE A LOT OF LOOSE SKIN FLOPPING AROUND EH?"

WTF??? UMMM NO. Actually i DON'T. Probably thanks to never giving birth.

She goes to the same family dr as myself and last time I went for an appointment, our doctor told me how my cousin was talking about my massive weight loss. Still not really saying anything positive. It would KILL her to even say "WTG"......GRRRRRRRR she pi$$es me off! Maybe I should offer her my old "XXXL clothes"? HA HA HA

~H~

Posting new pics this week! WOOT WOOT

You could not get a better compliment from her. She can't get you off her mind!! She knows you rocked your diet and made a huge change in your life. People like that will probably never give you a compliment, so you need to take it for what it is. Congrats! You look great!!!

You could not get a better compliment from her. She can't get you off her mind!! She knows you rocked your diet and made a huge change in your life. People like that will probably never give you a compliment, so you need to take it for what it is. Congrats! You look great!!!

If there isn't one in every family you can rest assured there are others out there. 

My cousin is betting I am on cocaine to lose.  What-the-F-ever!

You DO look great, you have done an AMAZING job and you should be proud of your accomplishment regardless of what is or isn't said. 

I'm all for asking her if it would kill her to compliment you. Let me know how that goes, because I want to use it.

your weight made her feel better about herself.  Sad, but I am sure true.  If you can do it, there is no reason she can't.  Take it as a weird compliment...she is so jealous of you.  You look AMAZING!  take that pink sweater back for a much smaller one though!  You are swimming in it!  I am so inspired by you

Yes, there is one in every family, one just needs to shake the tree to find them.

well there's definately one in my family, if not 2. My grandpa had the nerve last year, on Mothers Day (the first one with my 2nd baby) to tell me that I was fat. This man looks like he's 9 months pregnant. So, I ripped into him, my 81 year old grandfather, and you can bet he never said another word to me.

Now, my own father, on the other hand, "Jokingly" calls me fat..when he too has NOOO room to talk. He's always trying to tell me how he's lost weight, and ive just returned the favor--i laugh at him and tell him YEAH RIGHT. He gets offended and I remind him how it makes me feel when he does the same thing to me.

I think its such a great accompolishment that you have lost that weight, and if she doesnt see it, then she's blind. But chances are, she sees it and she doesnt like it!!! Jealousy.

ETA: The reason I said that about my dad and grandpa, is that now that im losing, they havent said ONE WORD about it....

I think there must be...  Someone always has to have something to add.  I had a great uncle when excitedly told him I'd lost 26 lbs (he was always telling me how worried he was about my health) he promptly told me it looked like I could use losing another 26 lbs.  No compliments on what I had accomplished. 

At the time, I just ate it and held in the pain because he was generously paying for my college education.  I now wish I had stuck up for myself a little, it may have helped my self esteem a little and helped to prevent me from getting to where I am today (no I don't blame him for where I am, but my reaction to his comment and my general lack of self esteem). 

P.S.  I viewed your before and after pics and you are absolutely gorgeous and my guess is yes, your cousin has some jealousy issues.  (For one, even in your before picture, your still gorgeous)

Personally, I might feel a little uncomfortable about my doctor discussing me with someone else.  There are actually laws against that these days (HIPPA).  But he/she may have just been meaning to convey the compliment.

Yes. we all have those begrudgers to listen to! She's jealous, and as Kae03 said- your weight made her feel better about herself. Now shes afraid her weight issues will come to the fore when you get to target- she'll become the 'fat' one and she doesn't like that thought...

EDIT- OMG- your before and after pictures are brilliant- they give me hope? Well done!

Original Post by bagga:

Yes, there is one in every family, one just needs to shake the tree to find them.

 ROFL! How true. Sometimes they fall right in your neck. Like my "favorite" aunt whose first words upon meeting me some time ago were: "Oh my... you do look bad!"

Yep, there's at least one in every family.

And yep, it would kill her to pay you a compliment rather than trying to tear you down- that would be tantamount to admitting that she should drop a few, too.

congrats to you- don't worry about her sour grapes.

you all are soooo right.  Why let HER rain on my parade. 

Thanks so much for slapping me around a bit LOL

Added newest pictures today.  Thanks again everyone :)
~H~

It's just other people's personal frustrations and insecurities expressed outwardly. I wouldn't let it bother me.  If anything  it would probably motivate me even more, strange as that may sound.

WOW...I just checked out your current pics, you look amazing!!! No wonder she is jealous, you have an amazing figure, one of those that can be miraculouslt thin and curvy at same time.. I sure hope I look like that one day too! What an inspiration, you have reached your goal, congrats!!! I'm kind of a bit jealous too....hmmm I bet you have all kinds of loose skin eh :P

Good for you! Way to go! Woot!

I am proud of you... though that doesn't help with the evil cousin. I love the idea of offering her your old clothes haha!