How does one know to stop?

I used to be 330lbs, this is an estimation since the scale at home only went up to 300 and was digital so i would gauge my weight by how fast the scale went to 'error', i can laugh about it now but at the time it was really sad. I would eat out of boredom, had no idea about portions or how many calories i was eating during the day and would always think too much was never enough. Couple that with depression eating and an almost sedentary lifestyle and you have a recipe for disaster. I finally got to a point where enough was enough and i decided to make a change, started lifting weights and doing cardio and totally re-vamped my eating habits. The weight started coming off sure enough and im not gonna lie when i say it felt nice. People were looking at me diferently and complimenting all i had accomplished. Some people were even asking me for advice on weight loss which made me feel awesome... who wouldn't want to keep that up?

Then there came the plateu, the number that seemed i couldnt get past. I weighed myself daily and constantly saw 210. 330 to 210 is awesome but it wasn't enough for mr overachiever here and cue the ED. First there was the bulmia which i eventually stopped cold turkey after six months since my throat was sore to the point of bleeding somedays (and im a singer so this just wouldnt fly). Then school started flaring up since it was my senior year and things were piling on like whoa... so i had no time to go to the gym 5x a week like i was. I instantaneously thought that since i couldnt go to the gym i had to cut my calories down more since i wasn't burning anything. This mindset kept going and going to the point of a 21 yr old man eating aroung 5-700 calories a day while working full time and constantly pushing myself to do more.

Thank goodness God was there to save me by bringing me to rock bottom and putting me in the hospital for a couple days. Making me see the error of my ways and giving me a nice punch in the face to live better. But i dont know how. I only know 2 mindsets, it seems, the big eater who can never get enough and is deathly obese, or the chronic dieter who is obsessed with weight and food ALL THE TIME! Has anyone else experienced something like this? Knowing when to stop and either finding other things focuses in life or better vindications? I stumble on some good advice here and there on this site but decided that today I just needed to ask straight up. I hope someone can help me and I already thank you all for the help that you'e unknowingly given me.

 

Design a menu that will give you the proper amount of calories, and stick with it.

This is much easier if you live/cook etc alone.

Measure out your entire days food, breakfast, lunch, supper, snacks etc in the morning and don't stray away for the first few weeks. It will get your body back into burning mode without the fear of starvation or binging. Include the foods you like, such as Nestle thins chocolate (100 cal), smoothies, whatever..... I know exactly what mind set you have because I have it too most days. I truly believe the way you think does affect your metabolism. Knowing that you have so much food to eat for the day will put your mind at ease, or at least I hope. I hope this helps you out.

But the question I'm asking is how do you determine a good stopping point? Do you just pick a number out of hat? Calculators and other tools I find are almost no help at all. Has anyone else gone through something like this with good results?

So is your question "When is my weight the 'right' weight"?

For me, I think I could stay on my current eating plan indefinately.  I haven't felt cravings or serious hunger desires, unless I do something like ride my bike to work (in which case I'll eat everything in our office fridge, it seems).  But at the same time, I've just now reached a weight that I can say "that's ok". 

To determine that, I first tried to achieve a "healthy" BMI.  For me being 6' tall, that worked out to somewhere between 185 and 147.  When I hit 185 pounds, I re-evaluated in front of a mirror, and figured I still had more of me there than I needed, and kept going.  Now, I've reached the same size jeans that I wore when I met my wife 19 years ago, so that seems like a good ending point for now.

I've heard that for most guys, being on the higher end of the BMI scale is typically more comfortable/more "attractive" than being on the lower end.  At 175 pounds, I'm just under a BMI of 24.  I plan on getting my body fat percentage measured in the next week or so, and from there, I might determine that I'd like to cut it down some more.  But I think I'll be close to where I want to be in any case.

Not sure if this helps or not, since I'm not sure I understand your original question.  But where to stop, so long as you're in a "healthy" range, is a personal thing, IMHO.  Some people like the lean runner look, some like a "fit" look, and others would like a muscular "body builder" look.  AFAIK, none of these are any healthier or more desirable than any other; it's a personal preference, and nobody besides your significant other can tell you what you should do.  And even for a significant other, they might get a vote, but it's still your choice.  Mine lost her vote when she told me a few pounds ago that I was getting too skinny, and I'm pretty sure it was jealousy, not concern.

Clint

There's a mathematical way to determine a healthy weight... the BMI scale.  Once you get below BMI 25 you're technically a 'healthy weight'.  For many that's not a bad place to start.  Get to BMI 25 and see how you feel about yourself, your body, your energy levels.....

But the trick is that on the way to that weight you have to deliberately find ways to build your confidence beyond the bathroom scales and the calorie-counter.  You need to work out ways to boost your self-esteem and gain a sense of achievement that aren't body-centric.  Make it an objective to have people compliment you for things other than the change in your appearance.  You may have to put in some effort, take a few risks, plunge yourself into situations outside your comfort-zone, follow a few dreams .... but eventually you'll find something more satisfying to channel your abilities into.

You mentioned that you reached 300lbs+ because of 'depression eating'... if it's still there, triggering a tendency to obsess  then the danger is that you're never truly happy, regardless what weight you reach.   The number on the dial is never quite good enough.   I don't know if your spell in hospital means you now receive therapy or counselling of some kind, but that can sometimes help people find peace with themselves.  And medication is another route that can be extremely useful when trying to achieve balance. 

 

Good luck

There is a really good book that I've found helpful called "Transforming Your Dragons: How to Turn Fear Patterns into Personal Power" by Jose Luis Stevens, Ph.D.

It's not about food, it's about identifying and getting at the root psychological issue that is the source of, in your case, your eating pattern. It's a real eye opener and a good place to start.

 

Thanks for this post.  Trying to figure this out for myself, but sorry you had a trip to the hospital and such...  Hope that just the fact that the question was posted has enlightened you to remain at a healthy weight in a healthy manner. 

Felt the posts on BMI are on target.  Also feel that my DH would also be at a good weight at the higher end for a man, being a women currently at the lower end which is working for me.

Take Care