If only it was as easy as "getting a salad" ahhh

Why is everyone's response when finding out that I'm watching what I eat to just "get a salad, and come out with us"........really?  If it was that easy everyone would be at a healthy weight.  Sometimes that's a great idea but more times than not it's like fighting an inner demon when everyone around you is indulging in great food and you're the one with the salad.  I also here the "well take a day off" and yes I do take days off but three times a week doesn't really work and they almost seem offended when you tell them you can't eat what they eat.

Does anyone else get those looks of almost anger when you tell someone you don't wanna eat (the fatty, greasy) food they are offering?  They almost try and sabotage my progress by insisting I eat what they eat and then even calling me "anorexic" for not wanting fast food and suggesting Souper Salad...........really??

THEN when you finally give in and go out and eat with them I hear the "oh I thought you were on a diet?    should you be eating that?"  WTF ahhhhh

btw- highest weight 270, currently 214..........goal 170 :) 

How to deal with it...... ?   I indulge in great food and, to me, 'great food' is not deep-fried stodge but lighter things like salads and grilled fish.  I've NEVER once had a friend question why I chose a particular thing off the menu.... any more than I'd question theirs.  Who does that?

If the people you hang out with think it's OK to poke fun at someone for eating lightly and bandy words like 'anorexic' around then they're not very mature.... I'd get some new friends.

You have to do this for you, not anybody else. Who cares what they think? You'll be fit and healthy! Good for you - and you certainly aren't missing much by avoiding greasy fast food concoctions - it doesn't taste of anything compared to say, a hearty vegetable soup with plenty of curry spices, or a chicken stir fry, or a thai soup ect ect. :-)

Yeah, and resturant salads are usually just as bad as everything else on the menu.  But if it helps, Olive Garden's Minestrone soup is awsome and cal friendly (just try not to eat too many bread sticks).  You can also try to drag them to subway or quiznos, or some where you can get a lot of veggi's and lean meat.

Otherwise, just try and pick grilled chicken or salmon, something that makes you feel like you're eating (unlike a bowl of lettus and cheese), but at the same time is healthy.  You can also as for a togo box w/your meal so you only eat 1/2 the cals at a time.

Try telling them you can't afford to go out and see if that works better :)

I totally get what you mean! And personally I don't really wanna pay upwards of $7 for a plain salad while my friends eat hamburgers, ect. When I'm going out with friends I look up calorie content online ahead of time if I can and pick something that will fit into my caloric budget and still be good. I am also gluten intolerant so I have the added restriction, but it can still be done. I'd recommend doing this if you want, it might help and then you can still go out with your friends. Also I'd try telling your friends that you're working really hard and would like them to not be so judgemental (if you can do this in a hopefully not confrontational way), that would help too. Good luck!

Oh, yes, I know what you're talking about!  I've just started telling people I'd love to go with them, but I'm broke.  That seems to help.  I have had a few offers to buy my lunch, though, or dinner... 

Just say something to make them feel really awkward about the things they say.  Once will do it.

Original Post by sarahbluebelle:

Oh, yes, I know what you're talking about!  I've just started telling people I'd love to go with them, but I'm broke.  That seems to help.  I have had a few offers to buy my lunch, though, or dinner... 

Hahaha, about the same strategy as mine. When I don't feel like eating a lot, I just tell my friends that I am broke to eat out - or I tell them that I ate at home already but I could join them for a drink or two. It seems to work wonders though friends will still persuade me to eat and they'll pick the tab. :/ But I'd just go for a light soup or a healthy appetiser like garden salad or something.

I know exactly what you mean. Its so hard since my family are fast food addicts. They always want Burger King or Mcdonalds and its frustrating when I can't have what they are having. And then the "get a salad"comment. I don't want to go to a fast food restaurant and get a salad! -.-

I have friends who are always asking about going out to dinner or having me over for a meal and are always saying things like "you have to allow yourself treats now and again" or make comments that I'm being too hard on myself and I know by this they mean well, but they don't always get it. 

I have to explain that yes, I allow myself treats once in a while but I can't allow them 4 times a week.  That Wednesday I went out with someone else and Friday I had a big lunch at work cause my boss took us out and Sunday I'm having drinks with so and so...  so no, I can't go out to dinner tonight, how about we each eat at home and find something else to do together?  I also explain that it's no fun to go out to eat and only order a side salad.  It's not enjoyable for me to watch others having a big yummy meal while I nibble on something I don't particularly care for but it was the only thing on the menu that fit into my daily calories.  Nor do I want to waste money on something like that. 

Once I explain, though, they generally get it.  They have good intentions, after all.  I just might have to remind them the next time.  lol.

grilled shrimp and mixed steamed veggies = WIN WIN.

This is my new go-to when I go out. I even had room for a slice of bread with real butter when I had this at lunch last week.

All under 400 cals.

How to deal with them? That's harder to answer because I don't know your friends or how shallow they are. They sound pretty self-absorbed. I wish I had advice for you; luckily for me, nobody, not family or co workers or friends of hubbys, has been angry with me for not eating their food.  I don't get picked on at all for my food choices. This leads me to believe that it's their level of maturity (lack thereof). (and if you knew my hubby.. well... that is saying a lot!hahah)

They're probably just intimidated by the fact that you are trying to get healthy and they aren't. When you order something fatty, it makes them feel better about themselves.

Just tell them "I eat what I like, and what I like just happens to be healthy." 

People seem to not only be dumbfounded at the thought that there are some who not only try to eat healthy foods, but are taken to the next level of being awe-struck when they find out they actually enjoy it.

Enjoying a meal doesn't necessarily mean it has to include fattening, fried, or greasy food.

For me, my mouth actually starts to water when I see the words "grilled vegetables" on the menu ;)

I know exactly what you mean, for me it's my boss. he'll always pop off with something like "so ur on a diet again" or"want some ranch dressing for thoes carrot sticks?" and she eats all the time and I mean all the time and is a health weight. other people where I work (a gas station/resturaunt) look at m and ask "what are you eating" or " aren't we the healthy one" I mean WTF leave me alone and let me be lol.

Original Post by distorted_conversion:

I know exactly what you mean, for me it's my boss. he'll always pop off with something like "so ur on a diet again" or"want some ranch dressing for thoes carrot sticks?" and she eats all the time and I mean all the time and is a health weight. other people where I work (a gas station/resturaunt) look at m and ask "what are you eating" or " aren't we the healthy one" I mean WTF leave me alone and let me be lol.

 I find that if you stand up for yourself and be FIRM, they'd respect you more and they won't taunt you or make fun of your food choices the next time. I have an overweight colleague who keeps asking me "IS that all you're going to eat? Why are you on a diet, you don't have to be!" and I'd just say nonchalantly, "Yeah, pretty much. And I am not on a diet - it's what I want to eat."

Try it the next time they question your food choices. :) Ultimately, you only have good things coming your way if you eat well. They're the one who's missing out, health-wise.

I completely agree, especially women. I know even with my own best friend, we happen to also share the same body type, that there is a huge sense of jealousy between us when only one of us is watching what we are consuming.

I find it interesting too that within certain groups you will often find the same body types and what have you. I strongly believe that there is a degree of defensiveness going on. Like your peers feel that they should be dieting as well, but don't have the will power. Next time, why don't you just start calling them up to partake in physical activies instead of eating, almost redirecting the relationship into a healthier mode, it could be worth the try.

I often find that many are too focused on food and it being the center of EVERY activity, so sad. I usually a have a better more bonding conversation over a walk then at dinner.

I believe that people make these sorts of comments and sabotage because of their own insecurities.  I definitely have a friend or two (and one family member) who will do anything to ridicule my efforts to eat healthy, try to coerce me to binge or cheat, and they are also the first people to jump all over me if I make a slip-up.  These people are just trying to get the attention off of their own problems and make themselves feel better. I think they are thinking "Glad I don't have to deprive myself" or something like that when in reality their conscience is telling them that they shouldn't be eating the food that they are eating.

I can say one thing...its definiately not my skinny friends that make the rude comments or bring me sweets and fattening drinks/foods.

totally great responses............i guess it doesn't matter where you are, people will always have Something to say..........well at the end of the day you can't do much more than smile and let it go. :)

thanks everyone!  :P

PS. Still looking for a buddy! have about 50lbs to lose and would love to find a semi twin (big emphasis on SEMI) , just someone who might have similar goals :)