Your opinion- I'm Neutral; In-Law's Views vs. Parents

I'll keep this short b/c I REALLY have a lot of work to do, but wanted opinions.

Situation:

I planned to go to a wedding of my in-law's family freind that I know well next week.  My parents were going to watch Julia. (now updated pics in my profile).  My mom called today and told me her cataract surgery has been moved up to that day, and she can't watch her.  I don't have any other babysitters; as the sitter who watches her only does it from 6:45AM-5:45PM during the week.  Yes I would have like to have gone and get dressed up to dance; but it's not a big deal to me.  MIL and SIL a little peeved about it.  Moreso than I thought they would be.  They want my DH to go; and he can if he wants; I wouldn't care either way.  How would you feel?

Thanks for the opinions!!  Like I said; I'm neutral.  Either I can go out to dance one night or I can cuddle with my little beauty. 

Since the MIL and the SIL were miffed, and IF you really care about their feelings, could you find another sitter for just that one occasion?  Maybe someone you know has a great sitter with good references?  Could you take the 'lil one with you, put in an appearance and leave early?

I don't know your family but looking after your adorable and beautiful baby trumps being at a social occasion in my book and they should try to be understanding.  Unless of course you are like me and constantly make excuses why I can't attend a certain function LOL!!

I was about to say the same, but pufflet beat me to it.  If you absolutely cant find a sitter why not make a token appearance to keep everyone happy then use Julia as an excuse to leave early. :) win win.

I understand why your In-Laws may be a bit upset, however the well being of your oh so very cute baby and your mothers eyes way out trump a wedding of a friend.

If you are uncomfortable leaving your baby with someone you don't normally use, you'll spend most of the time at the function thinking about / worrying for your little one.  I do think it is nice for new mamas to get out and do things that are fun besides baby, but this is your child and she comes first, other wise you'll just worry. 

It's unfortunate that your mother's surgery is happening that day, and I am sorry if you can not find anyone to watch your little cutie, but I think you need to do what feels best for you and if that's going, then go, if it's staying home then stay home..it's not for your In-Laws to guild trip you into doing things you may not be comfy with.

I hope your mom's surgery goes well !  And if you do go to the wedding I sure hope you have lottsa fun !

Thanks for your posts ladies!

I have to admit.  A night out dancing with my DH wearing cute shoes did sound like fun; since my life is consumed with work and baby.  But she is so GOOD and FUN that I MISS her every time I leave the house!  I don't know any sitters; I asked my friend who she uses; but I'm just not comfy leaving her w/ someone I don't know.  And none of my friends have babies and mostly all of them have kinda.....ran away when I had a baby!

So it's me and the cutie for Friday night....the thought of getting ready to just make an appearance is not worth it-  i never knew getting ready with a baby could be so hard.  Thank heavens for the Noggin channel!!  LOL

First off, Julia is absolutely GORGEOUS. I love her hair (I know you hear it all the time).

Secondly, I love Noggin. No commercials, , educational programs and nothing provocative. It's all my four-year-old is allowed to watch (other than movies we've pre-screened). Sadly, she still knows who Hannah Montana is even though she's never watched the program (thank you, daycare!).

In my opinion, they do have a right to be upset (however, I don't think it's justified) but who cares?! It's your child and therefore your decision. Anybody should understand a mother wanting to stay home with an INFANT when a trusted sitter is not available. I'm right with you on leaving the baby with someone you hardly know. I wouldn't be able to do it. I wouldn't even trust some of my closest friends with my kids.

Also, my friends without kids didn't shy away from me when we had our first but I suddenly found that I didn't have much in common with them anymore. They still come over every so often but the conversations seem a little forced. I have recently started trying to find moms my own age (I'm only 26...)in my area. I actually found a group on Yahoo that is for 20-something moms in my city. Maybe you could find some interesting new friends WITH kids! I'm really excited to take my children to their first playgroup with these ladies. Sorry for getting off-topic!

Edited to add the bolded text.

I don't usually post on these but in this case I decided to.  I don't really understand why your MIL and SIL would be upset with you at all.  They can be upset with the situation but not with you in general.  My mother is my back up sitter too and if she was having surgery that would always come first.  My son is six months old and I've never been away from him for a night so I really understand getting away (I have the first night away planned for this weekend!) 

I know most of these posts say they can understand being upset but I just really don't.  If they really want you to go then they should be finding someone to watch your wonderful daughter.  I do hope you get your night out soon because all mothers need those!!

Call the bride and groom and ask their opinion.

Firstly they sent you an invite so they really want you there on their special day, right?  Let them know the situation, you dont have to give all the details, just let them know youve had a scheduling conflict come up and dd doesnt have a sitter, can I bring her with me.

Just so you know most weddings Ive been to always allow children under 6 mos to attend

I just have to clarify. I know I said your MIL and SIL have a right to be upset but I said this because I think everyone is entitled to react in their own way (after all, they can't help how they feel, right?). I do think it is pretty ridiculous that they would be upset with you and can't imagine my in-laws being upset with me in this situation.

Edited to add: I think you have handled this situation perfectly and I wouldn't have done anything differently.

To spuckine-  I hear you when you say to ask the bride and groom-  but to be honest; I'm like a third party being invited; I don't know them that well.  More of a family freind.  And get this.....my SIL and MIL was invited to her shower; and I wsn't so i assumed i wasn't even invited!!  LOL

bier-  thank you for your coments-  Julia is such a beauty and a doll to be around; she's so friggin cute I can't stand it LMAO!

And I agree that mommas need a night out!

I'm going to ask my daytime sitter if she would mind watching her at night then I'd pick her up-  I'd just switch the shifts so to speak.  If she can't I'm not going to go; and if she can; that's fine too.

Thanks everyone for your support!!!!

First of all, your baby is so beautiful!  Congrats!

Secondly, if you can't find a sitter, you can't find a sitter.  Julia is obviously your first responsibility and your MIL and SIL need to accept that.  If they can't then perhaps they can suggest someone to watch the baby.  Of course that's going to be very dependant on how much trust you have for someone they might be suggesting.  I understand missing your baby.  I worked full-time when my boys were little so I wanted every possible second I could spend with them.  Once in a while we did go out and whenever possible my MIL would watch them but if I needed another sitter, I found some very good ones through the local school's Guidance Counselor.  She gave me referrals to some very responsible girls who were interested in making some money babysitting occasionally.  It's probably too late for the wedding, but it's something you might want to consider if you want to go out in the future.  Just a thought!  Good luck with that beautiful child!