Has any other woman ever thought this about Pregnancy and... ?

This is kind of strange but, it was sparked by a convo I had last night with my girlfriend so I'm curious to see what others think...
I'm 22 with a serious bf (of 4 years, who I live with) so the topic of marriage and kids does come up sometimes.... Only when it does I get to thinking about being pregnant and it freaks me out. 
The first thing I think of is "Omg, I need to lose weight before that happens or Ill never be able to lose it."  I'm wayyy too young (in my mind) to be havin any babies, or to even get married, but it still sends me into some kind of panic mode, like I've gotta lose it all right now just in case.  Lol.

Is this a normal reaction for someone my age or am I just nuts? :)
(and does it really destroy your body beyond repair?... can't beleive i just asked that, ha.)

 

I had the same concerns before we became pregnant with our first son.  I was about 170 at the start of my first pregnancy and I lost a lot of weight during the first trimester.   My metabolism went up and I ate healther and stopped drinking.   Within a month after my som was born I was 10 pounds lighter than when I first got pregnant with no exercise or dieting.

With my second pregnancy I started at 159 pounds.   3 months after my second son was born I had dropped in weight to 142!   He is now 8 months old and I am still hovering at the 145 mark.     So, doing nothing but having 2 children in 2 years I lost 25 pounds :)

For me, pregnancy and breastfeeding forced me to eat healthier and take better care of my body, plus it burns calories!   I once read that breastfeeding burns up to 600 cal a day.  

I'm looking FORWARD to the weight gain part, but then again, I have my reasons for that; it's not a result of being lazy or not paying attention to intake, it's healthy, so I don't mind. But I'd still not want to gain tons and tons. I'd like to have a womanly curvy body - but only after I have kids; I prefer a slim figure beforehand. *shrug*

My mother never gained a lot. I think her highest net gain (pre-conception to post-birth) was 10 pounds, and she always lost it within three months. And this is without nursing. So it's definitely possible.

I'm  25 and have been married for 2 years, we are talking about trying to have kids soon, and yeah sometimes I get freaked out, but I know that if I have a healthy lifestyle now, I will have one when I am pregnant and beyond...I also know that after I have kids my body will never be exactly the same, but I am okay with that and whatever that entails. If it means I have to walk everyday, I will, if it means I can't eat icecream daily...fine...but I think your issue picchick13 is that you are not in that place in life just yet...some people get there at 18, some at 22, some at 30, and some never do...

It's not an issue of being too young, it's an issue of maturity and readiness, and with you not being married yet, my advice would be to think about one thing at a time...if you're not ready for that commitment, then you certainly wouldn't be ready for the commitment of having a child. I've been in your shoes...before I met my hubby I said I would never be married and would never have kids...but I was at a place where I didn't want the responsibilities that came with either of  them...I wasn't ready...but then I became ready to be married...and now that I've been in a great marriage for 2 years (which takes some work), I feel like I would be ready for the commitment of having a child.

Not exactly. But, I find myself thinking " I have to be healthier than before I ever had a baby. I want to be in the best condition I've ever been in my life "  ( I'm 5'2 small frame ) I was 113lbs prebaby and bounced up to 186lbs in the last couple months. Due to water retention but there was nothing they could give me for it, since it would've caused birth complications.

It's one year later and I've lost all of by baby weight. I'm currently maintaining 103-105lbs. The tautness of your skin on your belly, doesn't always 'bounce ' back right away. Every woman is different. But, I'm doing everything in my power to naturally. As long as you have dedication, it doesn't matter. You're going to get back to you.

( And I didn't nurse. )  So  yeah. Throw away all the garbage anyone's told you, and just do what's right for you. If you're already concerned about it. Perhaps, take some precautions but don't fret. It's doable.

That's another thing 'being ready, ' It's doubtful that you'll ever feel that you're actually ready. If everyone waited until they thought they were ready in all actuality than children wouldn't be born everyday. I had been married for four years before I got pregnant. I got married at nineteen and had my baby at twenty two. It should all come naturally for you. Being afraid or having a sense of fear only means that your sane. It doesn't mean that you aren't ready. We weren't planning on starting a family, until I was twenty six. Making my husband twenty eight. 

We consider our baby early! But, still planned.

Getting ready for pregnancy involves more than a healthy body and or lifestyle. Getting ready for a family involves getting a healthy psyche and more than narcissistic reasons to bring a child into the world. It involves mainly becoming a better human being every day, not just because you want to be a role model for your child, just because it's the right thing to do.
Now, if you are concerned with losing your precious physique, there are many children in the world who would love to have a loving family, adoption is a very valid option.
Good luck to you all, you will grow up eventually.

Perhaps you have grown up and you are an adult.  Nobody on the face of the planet is ready for a child.  You aren't born with the functions of being a parent, they develop AFTER conception, just like breast milk.

You need to base having a child on whether or not you want to be a parent for the next 20 years.  If you don't want it, you'll have a very negative relationship.  When you decide you do want to be a parent, the love and understanding will naturally come whether you want it to or not.

But don't feel forced to do anything.  Having a child does not validate you as being an adult.  Having a child doesn't put you above anybody.  It just makes you exactly the same person, but with a child.  Don't have a child for any other reason than you want one.

Lol I've thought this for years! I'm 25 and I've been married for about 2 1/2 years. I've always been flabby and overweight, and I want to have a really great body for a few years before I have kids. I want to be able to wear a bikini for the first time in my life (I carry almost everything in my midsection), and wear skirts without getting "chub rub". I also figure that I'm more likely to be at a decent weight after I have a baby if I'm at a healthy weight before I get pregnant. It's not weird at all.

lol

im 22 and im panicin about getting into a new relationship!!! met really decent guy we been out on dates etc, very early days only a few weeks into it and he talks about 'us' and 'we'...

before i even think about kids and marriage i need to stop panicin about this new guy lol

This topic kind of makes me sad.  My husband is 15 years older than me.  I'll be 26 in December.  He does not want kids - I kind of do.  I at least want one.  I've heard it's quite the experience and I guess it's just different for women to think about having a baby than it is for men.

But...

I hope - for all of you who are able to have children, that you do and enjoy the experiences it gives you.

xoxo

Wow I did not expect such a big response for my dumb little question!

For those of you who are giving your speeches about growing up and wanting a kid for the right reasons and such, thank you, I agree with most of what everyone has said, but I think you misunderstood me.  I dont want a kid! Im not a dumbass, I know Im not ready for one. I'm not planning a pregnancy.  Cripes, the thought gives me the shivers.  At 22, I'm just out of college, trying to start MY life, not a family.

Artiparte- I found your post to be offensive.  I'm not sure why, possibly the way that you seem to be hinting at the fact that I am immature and all I care about is my "precious physique".  What makes you all high and mighty? Perhaps I am more mature than you were at 22, already knowing that I should wait for a more stablity and selflessness in my life before I bring a baby into the world?

I guess my question was more of a statement about this funny little stage I'm in my life right now.  Adult, but not quite?  And just wondering if there were others out there like me who are in the same place, or who had ever been in the same place at one time or another.  Its such a strange place to be.
Its funny to hear that there are some just like me, and its even better to hear that so many of you had some beautiful babies and feel great about yourselves (shiptona, you are pure inspiration!).  Its encouraging to me for the future... the far far future :)

And I also agree with everyone saying that being healthy for any reason is a good reason.  As it happens, the fear of pregnacy is not my main motivator, lol.  Its just one of those weird thoughts that pops into my head when the issue comes up.

cjeka- im sorry this makes you sad.  i didnt mean for this post to upset anyone.  i hope for your sake your husband comes around, because apart from the weight issue, i also think that having a child is one of the greatest gifts given to women.  and when im ready, i hope that my husband will be on the same page.  now i am sad too... :(

p.s.  bunnyish- lmao :)

I am terribly sorry you found offense in my opinion. Notice I said "Opinion".It is only one mother's opinion...

I am the proud mother of 2 grown up children, I became a mother at 24 for the first time and, as much as I prepared phisically and emotionally for the event, I can tell you I was not. Nothing prepares you for the joy and the heartache, the hope and disapointment, the fear for the future and all the love and commitment for life. This is "The Commitment", it is the only one. 

You will leave your parents' home, you can break up with your boyfriend, you may quarrel with your friends or siblings. But your child is yours for life. Or rather, you are your child's mother for life. You don't own your child, it's the other way around.

As proud as I am of my personal and professional acomplishments, it is having had the privilege and honor to be my children's mother what has given me most satisfaction in life..
Now, having said that, my initial answer came as a reaction to a number of posts that I found shallow and inmature. I have seen too many children in desperate need of real parenting. I have seen too many parents who don't deserve to be called parents. It is OK not to want to have children and be honest about it. 

It is also OK not to want to ruin your young life with a responsibility you are not ready to take on.

And by the way, I am 5'3", was 115lbs when I got pregnant the first time. Put on 45lbs with each pregnancy. Was never able to get below 120lbs. And no stretch marks nor cellulite to this day. I am 128lbs and 56 years old.

Thanks artiparte, I understand now :)

I am 35 and don't have any children yet.  I feel the same way sometimes, okay most of the time, so I think it is relatively normal.

i weighed 155 before my first and gained 75 lbs with the pregnancy. i got down to 162, and got pregnant with number two. my son was about a year old. i gained 37 lbs with my second and then got down to 136lbs but gained more again till i was 150 lbs. . then i got pregnant with number 3. i gained 40 lbs with her. she is only 10 months  old and i am already down to 137.4 lbs. so no, i don't think children make you heavier in the long run, but my body did change. im curvier with stretchmarks and my belly is a bit bigger.

I got married young - 21 and got pregnant unexpectadly at 23.  I'm almost 26 now.  I've always been excited to be a mother and did not have any issues with being a young mother.  That being said I wish I had been in better shape when I got pregnant.  I was in the worst shape of my life having ballooned to 190 *cringe*, because ironically I was happy with the way life was going for me.  I gained 40 pounds when I was pregnant and felt the most comfortable in my skin while I was pregnant.  There is something for me about being the vehicle for new life that made me love my growing belly.  Afterwards I breastfed my daughter and lost 30 pounds, half of that within the first couple of weeks.  I wasn't exercising or eating differently.  Then I stopped breastfeeding at about 9 months and gradually gained 25 pounds back.  I'm working on that now.  I've lost 6 pounds since finding the site at the beginning of August.  Anyway as far as your body being different.  Yes it will be different.  I have friends who are thinner than they were in high school after having a baby but who tell me that it's torture to see themselves naked.  For those who aren't dealing with excess skin on and stretch marks on their bellies, there are those like my best friend who looks leaner but who complains about her butt sliding down her thighs and her saggy boobs.  I can't speak for women who don't breastfeed, but everyone I've talked to who has breastfed feels like their breasts are totally different afterwards.  Less full on the top halves and saggier.  Pretty picture, right?

OK, well.  I just wanted to chime in and say the physical aspect of pregnancy isn't that bad.  I agree that being in better shape before you get pregnant, and staying active throughout should make a huge difference.  I am 5'2, small frame, and was 122 lbs when i got pregnant. I gained about 40 lbs, putting me at 165. (haha, I had some crazy cravings that took over!) Anyhow, my daughter is now 4 1/2 months old, and I am down to 115lbs.  As for boobs changing...I have no idea. I did breastfeed for 3 months, but, um, mine are fake so...I can't tell! As for stretch marks. I guess it all depends. I got a few, but know many women who don't have any.

I think it's totally normal for it to freak you out! That's good, just lets you know what you want right now. I think that enchantingimage made some good points in her posts, that nobody is every fully ready, and it will always be scary. Anyhow, I have no good advice, ...but had to put my thoughts about how it affected my body!. Interesting thread though! Lots of fun responses!

i just saw a pregnant woman on the treadmill yesterday in the gym, she looks about 7 month...

You describe *me* perfectly about the age of 22-28.  I got married at 29, pregnant & gave birth at the age of 30.  I'm now 35 & have two adorable wonderful sons!  I'm just about to hit my pre-marriage weight - getting down to what I was in college!  And you know what?  I'm not as muscular as I was in high school, but I feel I look pretty darn good.  And next year I have a goal of running  a marathon.  I think it all just depends on how hard you want to work after the babies to look good for you & your man.  It's up to you.  I think many women, well, it's easy to just think "I'm married, I have kids, why bother?"  If you want to work out & lose the weight, you'll be able to do it.  Best wishes to you!!