Others' Opinions of Calorie Counting....

Last night I was hanging out with some friends and the topic of calories came up (Both of them are very physically active and eat a lot to keep up their energy.  Neither count calories).  One of them said that calorie counting is crazy and the other, my best friend, said that it's a really unhealthy habit.

I sat there and my heart sank.  I love my best friend, and it is eating me up inside that she thinks that.  She doesn't know about my history of undereating, or that I count calories.  This incident makes me want to stop counting, but honestly I am afraid that if I stop counting, I'll keep up my habits of choosing only low calorie foods, cutting down portions too much, and then overestimating the number of calories I'm eating.

I've been doing really well lately.  I'm at a normal weight and am eating regularly and becoming more flexible and accomodating to change (like agreeing and feeling comfortable when friends say "hey let's go out for dinner right now" even when I haven't planned for it), although I am still counting calories.

The good news - at camp this summer I won't be able to count calories so it will likely help me break my habit of counting, and teach me portion control and to listen to my hunger.

Until then, I'm just feeling like a fraud for counting calories around my best friend.

Has this happened to anyone else?  A friend looking down upon your calorie-counting?  Did you agree with them that it's bad?  How did you feel, and how did you react?  I'd love some feedback and maybe support.  :(

(cross-posted in my journal)

All of us have different issues in life. For most of us here on this board we have issues with weight control. It sounds like your friends don't share this issue with you. If they do they may not need to count because their issue is different than yours. You might find that if you explain that you count calories and how it has helped you just like you did here on this board it might well change the opinion of your two friends. Don't underestimate your power to influence your friends like they have influenced you. If you explain and they still feel it is crazy well they are entitled to their opinions too. At least they most likely won't continue to make disparraging comments about the subject in front of you. If they do perhaps they are not the kind of friends you need right now.

Like you say you will wean yourself of counting when the time is right. It is a tool that is useful. When it is no longer useful it is easy to give up. Don't be hard on yourself. With most anything we do in life there will be critics. Know you are doing what you need to at this point to take care of yourself and let it be at that!

 

There are many people, like your friends, that can self-regulate their weight without calorie-counting - which is ideal, obviously.  Some people count calories obsessively or when they don't really need to....  that's when it can become unhealthy.  But many others either eat too much or not enough and, for them, some method of controlling what they eat is necessary.  You're one of those people at the moment but you can make it your aim to become less reliant on counting and enhance your ability to self-regulate.  It's good that you're feeling confident enough to go out for dinner and it's great that you're looking forward to the summer camp and 'flying solo' as it were.

I have to 'watch what I eat' because, otherwise, I get very fat.  :-)  I'm not ashamed to admit that and neither should you be ashamed to admit to your friends that you have to watch what you eat as well.   You don't have to go into chapter and verse explanations if you don't want to, of course.   You can even ignore silly comments like 'calorie counting is crazy' if it's easier.  Just do what's right for you and you'll be fine.

Thank you, Terry and GI-Jane.

What works for you doesn't have to work for your friends. I have been "counting" off and on for 8 years. I've been on this site for 3 years, and it just makes my life easier because I don't have to guess, and I don't have to waste food by eating more than a portion. In the current climate of food production, where portions are arguably twice as much as anyone needs, it's very hard to know how much is enough. It's also very wasteful to buy packaged food that looks like a great deal because you are getting more. No more for me thanks!

As for your situation, your friends sound like most of my friends. I had a co-worker asking me for a few days about how many calories were in different things she was eating. I thought she was geniunely interested in knowing, and perhaps supporting each other. After a week, she told me that she wasn't counting anymore because she didn't want to limit her life and her enjoyment and that counting was stupid. At first, I took it like a bit of a smack. Then, I realized that what works for me might not work for her. I don't openly talk about it unless someone asks because my lifestyle is completely my choice. I have lots of friends that don't exercise at all, and that is a lifestyle that is right for them.

As for when you go to camp, you are going with a powerful knowledge of what portion-sizes are. You may not keep a running total of your day, but each time you make a meal, you will be aware of how much food you are eating and you'll probably sit back from 2 portions of something and just have 1.

Be strong, and do what's right for you.

 

I think your friend is right. As much as counting can help, you can't expect to do this your entire life. You may end up worrying about calories at times when you really should just be enjoying the social time and food with your friends. For me personally, counting calories has taken enjoyment out of social situations. I've decided to stop logging and counting, and I feel a lot better because I'm no longer dependent on that system.

To each their own though, so do whatever works for you. :) But I think it's better to take the lessons you learn from counting and apply them (portion sizes, etc), rather than count every single day.