Over 50 and image and wardrobe issues

I am maintaining my 135 pound size 6 body after losing 50+ pounds to get here. I am shooting to lose another 5 pounds and then maintain between 130 and 135. I am doing this very slowly now while eating a maintenance level of calories and just adding additional exercise to lose no more than 1/4 pound per week.

My issue at this point is around clothes. I have had to get rid of my entire wardrobe and have been trying to slowly build a new one in a size 6. I am 55 years old and though I feel younger than before I need to dress age appropriate. I am on a limited budget so shopping requires sales and discount stores. I find that with most of the clothes that I have acquired thus far I feel ackward and inappropriate. I miss my old clothes and the level of comfort in social settings I had in them and the 50+ pounds that I was hiding behind.

I went looking for some plain bermuda shorts the other day that would come to my knees. My legs though they are toning up nicely have crete paper skin and still some excess skin that makes wearing anything above the knee look bad. I found some that were sort of acceptable at J. Crew but on sale they were $40 for a single pair. That is a bit much for something to wear while gardening in the yard. I think I must be looking in the wrong places. Any suggestions would be great.

Additionally I am struggling with thoughts about my personal identity. Without my old clothes and the weight to hide in I feel like I am naked and exposed when in public with this thin body. Of course I am wearing clothing and I don't think I look badly but it is still quite uncomfortable to be around people. It seems that when I was young the attention that my looks brought me was not the kind of attention I needed or wanted. I am afraid that is in part what triggered over-eating for me. I realize that just because people look at me a certain way does not mean I need to respond to that type of attention nor does it make me into something I am not.

I am looking to hear from other women and men who are struggling with finding a level of comfort with the new image they present in the world as thin people. I was comfortable in my matronly clothes and now even my own elderly mother thinks I should be dressing differently than I did before. I would buy matronly clothes again if I could find them for reasonable prices. I don't like to draw attention to myself, or appear to be trying to look younger than I am. I am a grandmother and proud of it. I like being thin and healthy but I don't want to give up the image I had as a mature wisened older woman. It seems that image that others saw has melted away with my fat.

terry2fish:  I forgot to mention in my post above how thrilled I was to read your post saying that a lot of your loose skin had tightened up!  That's very encouraging to hear.  You are right that many articles on-line say that the loose skin is permanent.

My belly is very big, and I would never consider plastic surgery, so it is encouraging to hear that the situation may improve, even though I'm in my fifties.

I think for women the perplexing (and somewhat expensive) decision of how many new clothes to buy after losing weight is very difficult.  For me, and some other men, since I wear basically jeans, t-shirts, and gym shorts (I have bought a few new cargo shorts), we don't follow the fashion changes quite as closely.  (OK, I won't get any of those 60's flair slacks or leather vests out of storage!)  I think you gals who lost the weight deserve to treat yourself to a new wardrobe up to how much you can afford!

Interestingly for me is that my three goals of losing weight was to 1) lower my blood pressure (which I did), 2) lower my cholesterol and triglicerides (which I did), and 3) shrink my belly (I did shrink my waist), but that dang obstinate belly--across the belly button--has shrunk very little).  I am surmizing that the loose skin is going to take a while to shrink (such as in months?).  My older sister who is also dieting and exercising along with my older daughter and me has her loose skin under the arms.  I think that will shrink in time, too.

Clint:  Hope things are well with you.  I have decided to pretty much give up drinking diet soda.  I have been reading quite a bit about aspartame--and there is very little good about it.  I have been drinking around 5 2-liter bottles of diet soda a week.  I still will drink a 20 oz. bottle from time to time, but I don't think I will any trouble giving up drinking it very often.  I gave up drinking strong stouts, porters, lagers, and ales--and that was something I didn't think I could give up.  I also am going to give up, with an occasional exception, eating nosugar gelatin, since that is heavy in aspartame, also.  Plus, after I finish off my last 4 cartons of nonfat Cool Whip, I am giving that up, with an occasional exception.  It is low in calories, but I am eating around a container a day which is 375 wasted calories.  It would make a lot more sense if I would eat watermelon, honey dew melon, strawberries, apples, mangos and satisfy my sweet tooth that way.

About the clothing aspect, I had bought 3 pair of 33 waist cargo shorts to replace my 3 pairs of 36 inch shorts.  Well, now I wish I had bought 32 inch waist shorts.  The reason I didn't is that I wasn't sure I could maintain where the 32's would stay comfortable.  It turns out the 33's did not shrink as much as I thought they would when I washed them.  So they are a bit loose, but not bad.

Everyone!  May all of you have a great, healthy life and keep your maintenance goals that you have worked so hard to achieve!

terry2fish, 

this is such a sweet post! yes i hear you! especially about identity and wardrobe and middle age and how to bring it all together in a way that feels right. 

im still in loss mode, but i plug along so slowly that i find i have to buy at least one well fitting pair of work slacks and one well fitting pair of jeans per size, cuz i'll be there a while. i do pick up some stuff at the consignment shop, jc pennies has jeans and work out pants for 20 bucks and under, thats helpful, and the rest of it is just one piece of clothing at a time. the poster who said it took her a long time to get her "fat" wardrobe together, i think that sounds about right. so im weaving my way down into my skinny wardrobe a garmet at a time. 

my mom always said that "classic tailoring never goes out of style" and i think thats pretty true. even if little things change, well made, well designed classics tend to serve me the best, so i go for a kind of casual classic look that im sure will get a bit more form fitting as i proceed, but that will come with its own challenges: being seen! in the mean time, jackets can stay a bit large, but i really need my pants to fit! no good having them fall off walking across the parking lot at the office! 

life is an adventure . . . . 

Original Post by pilgrimdude:

Clint:  Hope things are well with you.  I have decided to pretty much give up drinking diet soda.  I have been reading quite a bit about aspartame--and there is very little good about it.  I have been drinking around 5 2-liter bottles of diet soda a week.  I still will drink a 20 oz. bottle from time to time, but I don't think I will any trouble giving up drinking it very often.  I gave up drinking strong stouts, porters, lagers, and ales--and that was something I didn't think I could give up.  I also am going to give up, with an occasional exception, eating nosugar gelatin, since that is heavy in aspartame, also.  Plus, after I finish off my last 4 cartons of nonfat Cool Whip, I am giving that up, with an occasional exception.  It is low in calories, but I am eating around a container a day which is 375 wasted calories.  It would make a lot more sense if I would eat watermelon, honey dew melon, strawberries, apples, mangos and satisfy my sweet tooth that way.

About the clothing aspect, I had bought 3 pair of 33 waist cargo shorts to replace my 3 pairs of 36 inch shorts.  Well, now I wish I had bought 32 inch waist shorts.  The reason I didn't is that I wasn't sure I could maintain where the 32's would stay comfortable.  It turns out the 33's did not shrink as much as I thought they would when I washed them.  So they are a bit loose, but not bad.

Everyone!  May all of you have a great, healthy life and keep your maintenance goals that you have worked so hard to achieve!

 Hey, Pilgrimdude!  Did you give up the beer completely, or just moderating it more?  I allow myself a couple occasionally, but try to limit it to one or two per "session", and only do that once a week or so.  More on my cheat days than anything else, I guess.  I had given it alcohol completely for around 6 weeks, but now I'm closer to maintaining than losing, so I can take the extra calorie hit without too much guilt.

I didn't make an specific effort to get rid of sugars and artificial sweetners, but I think that's been a side effect of not eating as much junk as I used to.  I know I still get some, but that's probably not unexpected in today's environment.  I eat a fair amount of fruit when I need something sweet (pineapple's my favorite), VitaTops (and VitaMuffins) for baked goods, and a square of dark chocolate once per day if I've been good.

Too bad about the shorts being loose!  But better than them being tight, I guess, and then having to lose more weight to fit into them. :)  I've got to go do some more clothes shopping soon, but I've been avoiding it.  I never liked shopping in the first place, and I'm still not sure where I'm going with my "style".  I still feel like large shirts are big and baggy on me, but the medium ones feel snugger than I'm used to.  And I still feel like I should update my style anyway, if I'm going to buy a bunch of clothes, but I don't know what I want to change.

I'm still struggling with the whole "maintaining" vs "losing" thing... I think I've still got another 5 pounds to lose, if I want to.  But part of me says it's time to start building up with good weight (i.e. muscle), rather than continuing to lose fat.  The other part says I might as well lose the fat I've still got (that stuff right around my belly button, like you) while I'm on a roll, and then build up after that.  On the plus side, I've been working my abs, and can see some of the muscle definition that I'm going for... Just need to get rid of some of the extra layers that are covering them. :)

So in the meantime, I've been waffling on what I'm trying to accomplish, and holding pretty steady on my weight (between 175 and 177 for the last 3 weeks).  The weird part (for me) is that I've bumped up my calories by only 250 per day, but that's stopped my 2 pound per week weight loss.  My exercise is pretty much the same, as far as I can tell.  Last month at this time, I had burned 4900 calories in 5 hours and 53 minutes.  This month, I'm at 4500 calories in 5:51 minutes.

Anyway, keep up the fight, and good luck! :)

Clint

Clint: I do permit myself, maybe twice a month to drink some rot-gut light beer.  I have completely eliminated the high-calorie, high-alcohol, great-tasting good beers--the lagers, porters, and, my favorites, Imperial Stouts.  Some of the those stouts I used to drink by the boat loads had as many as 260 calories a bottle and over 13% alcohol.  But, for some reason, I have been able to give them up fairly easily.  I also once or twice a month drink some cheap, but tasty, red wine.

I agree with you about fresh pineapple.  My goodness is that good.  Unfortunately, it is expensive here.  Of course, those Imperial stouts were quite expensive, too.  Speaking of dark chocolate, I don't eat it very often, but I am just finishing 4 squares (210 calories) of 85% cocoa dark chocolate.  I like it, but milk chocolate lovers would not.

I understand what you are saying about how clothes fit;  I pretty much am going through the same thing.  My advantage is that since I am a hermit, so to speak, I don't have to worry about buying dress slacks and shirts.  (My undies are all loose fitting, but, heck, I don't care about that!)

I finally came to a conclusion about my losing vs. maintaining thing.  So far I have been able to average taking in around 2900 calories, exercising around 2 to 2 and 1/2 hours a day and maintaining between 168-173.  I am definitely going to start giving myself off one day a week from exercising, though, because the body "talks" to me some days, mainly protesting!  I would say that the ab and flab thing you mention is very true for me, too.  I have some loose skin around my stomach that looks like fat, but I do have some decent abs underneath.  But I definitely don't have the ab definition I hope to have in a few weeks or months. 

Congratulations on holding in your weight pattern.  I sometimes can not make rhyme nor reason out of the intake of calories and the amount burned in exercising.  I do know that if I can get my metabolism jump-started in the morning, some days I just plain feel like go, go, go!  But there are days I feel like rest, sleep, and play on the computer.  I suspect that, if you are like most of us, the last 5 pounds come off slower, but they do come off.  I remember that I was going to lose 5 more pounds (I had reset my last goal to 165-168, but that was just too Spartan for me to do.  I feel I am much healthier AND HAPPIER at 168-173.  It's interesting, as I mentioned before, that the one area I most wanted results was in the belly button flab, which maybe I achieved, but it still doesn't look the way I had hoped.  On the other hand, my leg muscles, particularly my calves, are very well-defined as are my forearms, biceps, and triceps.  So that turned out to be a plus for me. 

Best of luck in all things and keep up the great work!

Hi, Everybody!

I hope you have gotten a few new clothing items and like how they fit.

For my biennial family reunion, I decided to buy 2 new, nicer medium T-Shirts.  For many years I have always bought X-large or even XX-large because I knew they would shrink with enough washings.  But since I lost around 45 pounds, all my T-Shirts fit so baggy; so I did a bit of the vanity stuff and deliberately bought 2 T-shirts that would fit tight.  I guess I figured I owed that to myself after how hard I worked to get the middle-age pouch off.

Ok, your turn!

What plans do you have to buy yourself some Fall and Winter clothes?  I know buying new clothes can be expensive, unless, like me, you shop at Wally World, ShopCo, and Target, among others.