Over 40, need to lose over 50 and am getting married

I'm 42 years old and need to lose 50-60 pounds. I've been a single working mom for several years and just recently got engaged. We plan to get married sometime next year. My goal is to get to where I need to be to feel healthy again, and of course look great for my wedding. In the last two years that we've been dating, I've put on alomost 40 pounds. It doesn't bother my guy how I look in the least-- it only bothers him that it bothers me. So, it's all on me to get this done.

I joined this site about a year ago, but did not post much and then quit altogether. So essentially, I'm new. I find it much more appealing than any specific diet plan I've tried.

 Oh My, Javagen . . . we have SO MUCH IN COMMON.  I am a single mom of two teenagers, engaged and need to lose weight!!!  Ok, so now what we don't have in common as much is I'm heavier, need to lose more and 37.

Let me know when you get this and I will continue to write!

Hello there. Thanks for your note! I think as single parents we have had to face a unique set of circumstances in trying to find time to exercise and eat right, which takes time in planning, shopping and cooking.  So I'm looking forward to having some more free time to do these things not only as my kids are getting older but now that I've got another parent to help out. And then dating can be very fattening too!

Well, I have been engaged for a while now.  My fiance' has two boys and I have two girls.  We don't live together, but like to see each other during the week - so when dinner roles around it's usually something quick/easy.  You know, like pizza, sloppy joes, Chinese food . . . ick . . . I'm actually tired of eating so much.  Funny thing to say - especially if you saw me.  I am 5'7" and weigh 224 pounds. 

What really stinks (but I'm getting over it quickly), is that I can remember clearly when that scale read 124 (about 8 years ago).  Jeesh . . .

So, how have you done on your eating/exercise/new life style thus far?

My fiancee moved in several months ago and we had all these great plans to go walking, biking or to the rec center. But we rarely follow through on it. I'm 5'2" and look great at 125 - 135 pounds. Now I'm up to 184 -- more than I've ever weighed in my life even when I was pregnant! I know what you mean about the scale-- I'm shocked at myself really.

As far as exercise, I'd like to try kickboxing. I'd also like to just walk or ride my bike and I really enjoy hiking. But again it is all about planning time and actually sticking to it. In the meantime, I'm taking the stairs, parking as far as I can from my office and just trying to move more. Also, I'm thinking about why I don't follow through with plans to work out-- trying to remove some barriers.

How about you?

I'm just getting a new start on all of this-- diet, exercise, etc.

Hi,

I'm also a new member.  I'm married and don't have any children, but I am over 40 and also have about 50-60 lbs. to lose.  I'd love to join you on your weight loss journeys and share support and motivation.  I've been exercising 5-6 days a week on my elliptical trainer and using videos (Pilates and Abs Diet circuit training).  I've been watching what I've been eating since the end of June, but so far, I haven't lost a pound and I'm feeling a bit discouraged.  I'm hoping that counting my calories will make a difference.  I also just got some new exercise dvds and so far (day 2!), I'm enjoying them, although they are definitely kicking my butt.   I am hoping to lose some weight before going back to my teaching job in September.  

I hope I can join you and we can support each other by checking in daily or weekly or whatever you prefer.

Thanks,

Jo

Hi Jo-- wow you've really got a good work out plan going. I think ultimately that will be my only option-- to work out at home. Do you try to do it first thing in the morning?

A once a week check in would be great.

How is it going Jo and Javagen3?

Yesterday was AN AWFUL day for me.  I smoked two cigarettes (I'm a quitter) and though I saw that I had lost 4 pounds since my last weigh in - I ate constantly (but bad foods) all day long.

Don't those days just stress you out?  Well, actually, I think the stressful days are why I do that - but come on . . . I had an  ENTIRE can of mixed nuts at my desk . . .ick . . . I felt like having a nap after that.

Some good support would be great today.  How are you doing?

Gaffgirl.

I blew it over the weekend. We took the kids on a really long drive to acquire a new puppy and stayed the night in a hotel. We had snacks in the car and then I had beer (since there was no wine available) that night. The way up there I could've packed better snacks for myself I know. It all comes back to that better planning thing and how to deal with situations where its impossible to plan ahead.

I think the best thing to do is not to kick ourselves too much and just be good the rest of the day, week, etc.

Tonight, I'm going to buy a bunch of fruit or other healthy stuff and bring it in to work for snack purposes.

Hi javagen3 and Gaffgirl,

I wasn't sure if our thread was dead.  Glad to see we're all checking in!  

javagen, did you guys get a puppy? What kind?  I love dogs (and cats and animals in general, actually)!  I work out first thing in the morning.  Since I'm on summer break, I've been working out in the morning and evening.  Once I go back to school, I'll probably stick to the early a.m. workout and walk my dog when I get home.  I tend to stay at work very late, so I'm going to try to leave earlier next year so I can squeeze in more time to work out.  I find if I try to do it after work, I'm tired and uninspired, so mornings are best. 

Gaffgirl, at least you ate nuts and not a huge box of chocolate truffles.  I'm a major stress eater, too, so I can relate.  Don't beat yourself up over the cigarettes.  It takes time. My husband tried so many times and he was finally successful.  Planning snacks is definitely the way to go.  When I'm working, I eat whatever I can get my hands on after school, esp. if it was a stressful day.  I'm better off just bringing a small amount of something and not keeping extra food in the classroom.   Congrats on your 4 lb. weight loss! You must be doing something right.

I've been pretty good about sticking to my plan for now.  I'm very, very frustrated however, because I still haven't lost a pound.  I have to buy a dress for a family wedding on Saturday and I was really hoping to have dropped a bit, but no such luck.  My biggest problem right now (other than the complete and total lack of weight loss, lol) is trying to stick to a schedule. I am trying to work out before I eat breakfast, but then it takes a long time and I end up eating late which throws my whole day off.  Guess I won't have that problem in September.  Really, I feel fortunate to have this time to work out and watch my calories, so I'm not complaining.  It's so much harder when you're working.  And, it must be hard with kids.  How old are all of your kids? Are they all teenagers? That must cause stress eating!  What do you both do for a living? Gaffgirl, do you work tv or movie lighting by any chance or are you a sailor? I was trying to guess by your screen name.  I'm sure I'm way off.

What day of the week do you guys want to check in? Do you prefer Fridays, so we can cheat a bit on the weekends and make up for it during the week?

Can't wait to hear more from both of you,

Jo

Good morning!  I'll check in a write something in a couple of hours - just wanted you to know I'd be writing in a while.  I've got two conference calls and a doctor's appt - then I need to get one child from my fiance's and the other from band camp.  So, between all the chaos today, I'll write (he he).

Good luck today ladies!

Ames (woman who loves nothing more than a silly giraffe)

I'm really struggling with smoking today . . . however . . . I weighed in at 218.  (Father's Day I weighed 231).

I need to pick up my daughter from Freshman bandcamp over the lunch hour.  She wants Taco Bell, I want to go somewhere like Applebees where I can get a meal that is already all counted out for me, you know?

How's everyone doing today?

Hi,

Doing okay here.  I actually lost 2 whole pounds! Pathetic as that is, it's better than the nothing I've lost so far.  I only worked out once yesterday, but spent a long, miserable 5 hours at the mall looking for a dress.  What the heck does 'summer festive or dressy-casual' even mean?  When you guys get married, please do your guests a favor and don't use oxymorons like this on your invitations! I'm so confused...  Nothing fits well, either.  I wound up with two dresses, but both have flaws - one's a bit too tight for my taste and the other is too dark. Blech.  Both will work for other occasions and were priced well, so there's that...  I also found two bathing suits for an upcoming trip to the shore with family.

Ames, sounds like you've got a busy day ahead of you! I hope your daughter compromised and you got to go to Applebee's.  I'm sure there are healthy options at Taco Bell, too.  What's your diet secret? I'm so impressed by your rapid weightloss. Congrats!  Good luck with the smoking cravings.  Maybe you'll be too busy to give in. So, does Gaff come from Giraffe? Cute.  AOL had the cutest picture of a father and baby giraffe the other day.  

javagen, what's new with you?  Let me guess...your screen name means you love coffee? And is your name Gennifer? I struck out with Gaffgirl, so I figured I'd try yours next. Lol.  Hope all is well with you.

So, I'm back to shopping this afternoon.   Still haven't tried Dress Barn and maybe the other Marshall's has the dress I bought in the next size up.  Perhaps, some better 'foundation undergarments' will help... Oh, and I need shoes.  At least they always fit! Wish me luck!

Have a great day,

Jo

I aced lunch with my daughter!  I actually stopped at the grocery store prior to picking her up and got the pre-washed potatoes and some fat free Kraft Ranch dressing.  I picked her up - took her to my fiance's house (where the other kids were) and let them make PB&J's with Dorito's and I had myself a zero fat potato feast!  He he.  I feel good now.

Yup - "Gaff" is giraffe.  When I was in high school/college I weighed about 125 pounds - I have a long neck, so being that thin . .. well . . . you can imagine.

GO TO DEB's.  Do you have that store there?  (where are you located Jo?).  They have dresses (though they are young for me) from size 14 to 24.  Also, Kohl's has some cute skirts that go to the floor and you could wear a light weight "dressy-casual" top with it???

Hi,

Ames, glad you had a healthy lunch! Sounds yummy.  I found another dress at Dress Barn, so it's between that one and the one I bought yesterday that isn't too tight. I think I'll go with the Dress Barn dress because it's a bit 'summerier', although I'm not in love with it.  The dress is actually a bit big in the chest, but at least it's not too tight!  Just need shoes and a bag and a beige slip, since all I have is a black one. No luck at Marshall's. I think I'll keep the dress anyway because it's not that tight and I like it.  If I keep working it out, it will fit better soon, I hope.  The black one is a bit more formal, but it will be good for back to school night.  I don't think we have Deb's around here.  Oh well.  I'm in NY about 50 miles north of NYC.  At least all the dresses were on sale.  The most expensive one was only $29 and the cheapest was $16.99!  Hopefully, the shoes won't be too expensive.  Looks like I'll have to go back to the mall. Ugh.

So, tomorrow is weigh-in day... I hope I don't put my 2 lbs. back on!  I'll check in during the afternoon.  Catch you later!  

Javagen, hope to hear from you tomorrow, too.

Jo  

Hi there. Wow lots of replies here. My real first name is Genevieve and yes I love coffee! Thank goodness it's only just a few calories a cup without any additons. We acquired a tiny Chihuahua last weekend. He's a sweetie but our two cats took one look at him and basically said, "Oh no you DIDN'T". So we're busy integrating and potty training. I've never had such a tiny dog though and am thinking it's not the sort of walking dog I had originally been considering.

Since I started this plan I'm down 3 pounds. So, reducing calories seems to be working. I just need to figure out the exercise bit.

I have a really hard time finding clothes these days. A size 16 petite is not easy to locate. I've had some luck at JCPenney's but size 16 is at the top of their petite size range as near as I can tell.  Shopping for clothes is one of the most depressing things I've had to do this year. I have a new job where I need to dress professionaly on a daily basis, so I had to go get all these larger size clothes that actually fit me. In my closet I've got some very nice size 10 clothes that I've saved.

My children are going on 13 and 9 in another week. They are also starting school. I'm thinking of trying out a boot camp at our local rec center-- there's an early morning one and an after work one. One class is for women only. If I do the really early morning one, it won't interfere with my family's schedule after work. We have dinner together and I sit with them and make sure they do their homework. That takes up the whole evening. And it's important. If I don't push them and be available to them, they won't keep up with it on their own. But, it is so hard to get up so early in order to make a 5:15 AM class.

Good deal Gaffgirl on your successful lunch!

You know what's funny?  I had four cats in the past (but needed to find them homes due to my future step-son being highly allergic!).  But their names were Mr. Cappuccino, Baby Mocha (my favorite), Java Girl and Machiatto (he was all black and weighed almost 20 lbs!!).

So, when seeing your name on here as javagen3, it gave me a big giggle!!  I love coffee.  My fiance' is a Starbucks Hound too.  He he.

Well, Jo, how was the weigh in?  Java?  My weigh-in was a one pound loss.  I'm happy.

I'll log on a bit later . . . . Ames

Hi,

Well, I stayed at 2 lbs. lost.  I'll take it! I don't know what tomorrow will bring because I bought a new digital scale today.  I tested it with the 15 lb. weight and it weighs 15 lbs. on the old scale and 14.4 on the new one!?!  We shall see...  I should probably skip weighing myself altogether since I had a chicken wing and a few fries at dinner tonight after my long, tiring day and am over by 250 calories.  My simple oil change and tire rotation, uh, my car's oil change, that is,  wound up costing $1,079!  I needed new brakes and rotors and a battery. Pathetic.  This is what happens when the wife takes the car vs. the husband.  Feels like a scam.  But, I do actually think I needed all of these things, since they mentioned the brakes at my last inspection and the battery was  6 years old.  Ugh.  After spending most of the day at the car place, it was back to the damn mall.  I guess I am sticking with the Dress Barn dress - the 18 is actually too big in the chest, but the 14 is a bit too snug in the hips and back.  They didn't have a 16, which probably would have been PERFECT.  I actually bought both dresses in two different stores (in 2 different states, no less) to let my dh choose.  He chose the larger one.  I then had to search the entire mall to find a full, beige slip.  The only slip I could find cost more than the dress! Apparently, no one carries slips any more.  Then, I had to find shoes, which was also a disaster.  I finally bought white, dressy flip flop/sandals for $7 on sale and brown, dressier ones.  Not sure which is better.  The dress is white with brown trim and polka dots and blue flowers.  I think it looks better than it sounds, but I can't wait for the day when I can actually buy something I love instead of having to settle for what fits. So, Genevieve, I feel your pain about shopping!!!

Congrats on your weight loss, girls!! I hope I can catch up at some point.  I have to have 3 wisdom teeth extracted on Thursday, so maybe not being able to eat will help.  Of course, I probably won't be able to work out either, so we'll see.  I'm dreading the whole experience.  My dentist has been after me for years to get this done and I'm terrified!  I have a very busy week starting the 16th and need to be fully recovered by then, too, which is adding to my worries.

Genevieve, congrats on the new puppy! I hope the cats will come around soon.  They must be bigger than he is!  I have one dog and a cat.  Ames, love your cats' names! My neighbor's dogs have all been named after liquors - Sam for Sambuca, etc.  Guess I know what he likes to do! Lol. Sorry you had to give them up.  Can't have your future stepson allergic to your place.

If you're still reading, your eyes must be tired! Sorry to be so longwinded.  It's been a crazy day.  Guess I need to blow off some steam.  I'm not even looking forward to this weekend.  It all just feels like a big hassle. Even the hotel cost extra because there are conferences and a music festival in the area and the only room we could find is a smoking room.  I don't really feel comfortable in this outfit and I'm soooooo tired.  I didn't plan on being out for the whole day today. I probably won't catch up with you until Sunday evening or Monday, so have a great weekend!!

Take care,

Jo

Hi Ladies!

Hey Jo - I have a digital scale too.  I'm happy to announce that it, too read 217!!  whoo hoo!

My fiance' Dan and I went to our friends last night for a cook out.  I found a new beer that I'm happy with that I can drink and not feel too guilty.  Michelob Ultra [to me] taste like cardboard.  But they just came out with flavors.  I tried the Pomegranate/Rasberry.  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. My friends also cooked us shrimp kabobs with green/yellow and red peppers.  So I only consumed about 600 calories the entire night.  SWEET!

I am also planning a trip for work.  Sept 19 - 24 I will be hitting the east coast.  First Pittsburgh, then NJ then NY.  I'm kind of worried about it - only for the reason that I will be going out to eat for every meal . . . . AND it won't be on my dime - so I can pretty much have anything.  You know what that means!!  Steak, Italian and pretty much any and every bad thing I can stuff into my mouth.  Hee hee.

So Miss Java - how is your diet going?  Jo?  you stuck w/the 2 pounds.  Is your eating good?  You will probably lose after the dentist - just by diet alone.  Good for you . . . I love to take advantage of that sort of thing.

Well - I'm getting ready to go on a 5 mile walk - I'll chat soon.  Have a great Sunday!

Ames

I haven't stepped on the scale yet today. I actually try to weigh myelf daily to keep it in front of my nose. I need to be more obsessive about cetain things and this is one of them! Oh, my scale is digital too.

Jo -- I hope you had some fun over the weekend! I'm headed to a wedding in San Diego in a couple of weekends too. I think I'll wear a dress I already have. Taking the car in to get over a $1,000 back in repairs is a huge ouch. I've been delaying taking my car in for that same reason. I too am very leery as a woman when I hear those quotes from the mechanic. Overall it's an expensive time of year for me with the children heading back to school next week-- there's school fees, supplies to purchase, new shoes and clothes and in a couple of months new winter gear.

Ames-- my work sent me to an educational conference that we were putting on last June. We were working from 5:30 AM to midnight most days. There was no time or option but to eat whatever I could grab between the meetings and other duties I was responsible for. Work conferences are another toughie for sure.

This past weekend I think I did better food wise than the previous weekend. Although I hit the wine pretty good on Saturday. Today, I'm taking a lean cusine and some yogurt with me to work. I decided to figure out a work out once the kids are back in school and we're all back to that busy routine.

Miss Java - OMG do I ever understand th expenses of going back to school.  I have an 8th grader and a freshman.  Registration fees, band camp, band uniform, school supplies, clothes, shoes and of course . . . .MAKE UP/HAIR STUFF!!.  I get let off kind of easy during the summer because they spend a lot of time with their dad - but wow.  I just dropped a couple hundred last week and haven't even gone to Freshman Registration yet.  Yikes!

I'm starving today girls.  Haven't eaten yet and don't plan to get a lunch until after 1:00 pm.  I hope I can hang on without binging. . . .

Chat with you later.