How being 100+ pounds overweight affects me...

I get out of breathe just walking upstairs to my bedroom, I can't run after my 6 year old when she wants to play...and I don't want to go to amusement parks because I'm afraid I won't "fit" when they close the locking bar....

BUT-does anyone else experience this?? I am honestly surprised when I see myself in mirrors, because I just don't "feel" like I'm that big....if there were no mirrors, I swear, I could con myself into believing I'm a normal weight...

MrsLori,

Wow, your kids have lost weight, too.  That is terrific.  Can you imagine the boost that will give their egos.  If they have been chubbies...well it's hard to be an overweight kid.

Way to go!!!!!  As you lose your blood pressure will come back under control.  Think of the workload you are taking off your heart!

Congrats, remember to come back in here and help keep the rest of us on track.

Thank you Tony and texmom. We have made an effort to stop the obesity-run in both my husband's and my family with our kids. What has been interesting is that our kids have always been slender until about a year ago and they both started to puff up.

I was a very heavy kid and lost my weight in 7th grade and kept if off until my father passed away when I was 23 (he had a stroke from hypertension). Then I struggled to lose it again for another 10 years and then gained back an extra 100 pounds on top off what I lost before and gained back after I got married!

Our pediatrician said to not give the girls juice and don't let them fall asleep with a milk bottle stuck in their mouth. Our kids never touched chocolate until they were almost 2. Our theory was what we set them up with as toddlers would be their type of food choices later. News Flash - once kids see what you are doing they want to do the same thing as well.

So the old theory of, "Do what I say, not what I do."  stopped working for them about a year ago. I did not ask them to change their habits 3 weeks ago - I just let them watch me and within 3 days I had them following my example like little ducklings. They even test their blood pressure. I won't let them do blood tests.

SO SERIOUSLY - kids will follow the example of their parents. I was so pleased. This week I started adding them into the food decisions and they like it even more. I'm an all or nothing dieter - so the more I involve the rest of the family, I figure if I come to a nothing day they can help me back on track to an ALL day.

Peace & Health

Lori

Now that my children are grown, they struggle with their weight, too.  When my son was in the Army he never gained weight, but now that he's in college again, he packing it on.

My daughter struggled until she had surgery where she got very thin.   Then she gained it right back.

So, they have both sides of the family's tendency to be overweight.  They have watched me yo-yo all their life.  And I am hoping as I lose they will see me losing and then want to lose as well.

The only influence I have over them in example.  I WILL not pester them about their weight as you and I know from experience, it does not help. 

I am glad your children will follow you, still.  Perhaps you can save them from a life of suffering while they are still small.

I really hope I can be a better example than I have been in the past for my girls. I don't want my girls to have the same childhood I did. I want them to have positive body images and great self-esteem and know that anything is possible if you truly decide to put the time and effort into it necessary to succeed.

A huge thank you goes out from my family to your son for his service to our country. And a huge thank you goes to you as well for letting him serve.

Lori

It was his choice.  I was scared to death.  But he is fine and his service is allowing him to finish school and become a pharmacist. (Lord willing)

I have gradually been gaining weight since High School. It honestly took 15 years for me to gain 130 pounds. I knew I was getting bigger, but it happened so slowly I just didn't really freak out about it.

In my head, I am still that 100 pound girl (I'm 5 feet tall and I totally didn't stop going through puberty until after I graduated)

All the women in my family on one side are overweight, the other side are slender. I know that my weight gain has been due to lazy eating habits. I'm not necessarily an emotional eater, but if I'm having a stressful day I will justify a soda. I just got stuck in a rut of eating sandwiches with chips, lots of pasta dinners, lots of heavy meals and too many sweets.

For the past week and a half I've cut myself down to 1500 calories a day. I'm cooking meals on the weekends and then freezing them to eat during the week (I have school and work and am an avid gamer, so I prefer to prepare ahead of time). So far, I'm doing well. Sure, I'm hungry, but I keep telling myself it's going to be ok. I walk everywhere which is easy to maintain because my feet are my only mode of transportation.

I did Weight Watchers once and it honestly worked, I lost 30 pounds in about 4 months. However, I hate doing all that extra math. It's really just simpler to count calories in my opinion. And WW felt more about what you aren't allowed to eat, rather than what you can.

Now I just need to keep at it. On the weekends I still watch what I am eating, but allow myself an extra treat so I don't feel like my life is all about absolute denial. No sense in lying, I love food. I mean, who doesn't? Good food is amazing!

On the plus side, I'm drinking tons of water and eating about 6-8 servings of fruit and vegetables a day.

On the down side, it's hard to be strong all the time and not let emotions justify splurging on some coffee concoction. I need more snack ideas too, and meals that involve more protein.

This is more of a ramble than anything, but I thought I'd at least start trying to do the whole 'support' thing online. Can't hurt. :)

Dear madaboutme,

How nice to meet you.  Sounds like you have a good handle on it.  I hope you do ok. 

I like this better than WW too, and no extra cost.

For snacks, I mostly like fresh fruit or veggies.  however, I have Skinny Cow ice cream bars or Blue Bunny.  they are good and low cal.   I also have a few of the pouches of 100 calorie treats, like the little rice cake products--mini delights or pringles stix for every now and then.   At least now I don't allow myself to eat 7 pouches!!!

I like the little fruit cups.  I might get a fruit cocktail and one cookie.  It just depends on how my calories have gone for the day.

I like almonds and walnuts...just a few make a good snack.  Sometimes a nice big salad and zero calories dressing is good (Walden Farms dressing)

Madaboutme,

Also, just a comment that having the forum here helps me very much.  I didn't know how much it does help.  For one thing, it helps me turn outward and try to give other people encouragement.

The other is...being a teacher I have found that people (even adult people) will do almost anything for a little praise, a pat on the back, an attagirl or attaboy.  We crave positive comments. 

I teach adults nursing.  You would be surprised how these guys beam for a positive comment.

When I had physical therapy on my knees after surgery, it was grueling and very, very painful.  Still I went, not only because I knew that it was helping me, but because of the way the therapists treated me.  I would push myself a little harder to do all ten reps because the therapist would say, "that was good".

The forum helps me.

Welcome, madaboutme! Don't worry about rambling; say what you need to say to get your concerns out here. It's not a literature contest!

Unfortunately, I can't help you with the meal ideas, since I eat pretty much what I used to eat before ... only less of it. I will say: You can have what you want; you just have to be willing to either trade something else off for it or go over-budget for that day. If you go overbudget one day, just get right back on that horse the next day; don't spend any time beating yourself up for splurging. (It's not bingeing that kills diets so much as it's the guilt after bingeing: "Oh, God, I'm never gonna succeed! Who am I kidding, anyway? What's the point of even trying?!" Stop the guilt trip, stop the self-punishment!) Good food is amazing, and food should be enjoyed ... it's just not love, nor is it a substitute for love or affection. Food needs to be kept in perspective, in proportion, and in its proper place, just like any other desire or appetite.

Tony,

That is so true.  When (not if) we fall off our program the main thing is to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and just keep doing what we know is good for us.

You are never a failure until you JUST GIVE UP.  I've done it lots of times, so I know how tempting it is to just throw your hands up and quit if you make a mistake.  I pray by everything that is holy I will never give up again.

Well, I come from a long line of fatties and a family where even fido is packing plus poundage.  I don't have to tell anyone how much harder and difficult growing up fat is.  I've never passed that damned physical fitness test and was always picked last for games.  It sucks. 

I know this weight has been a determining factor in me still being single and childless.  First, it's already hard to find a good Black man so with the added barriers of 100+ pounds just makes it 100+ times harder to find and keep a brutah. 

Next, I tend to withdraw from life as it is just too difficult to have to deal with societal pressures of eating out with people staring at you.  They say things that are so rude or look so disapprovingly at you when you eat.  Other times they just ignore you completely or treat you like crap.

So not to bemoan the fact anymore, I want to finally be healthy.  I'm learning to run on the treadmill.  By this summer, I'd like to purchase my first bathing suit since I was in fifth grade.  I'd like to learn how to swim.  I want to learn how to play tennis and look cute in a tennis skirt.  Hell, I want to wear a skirt which shows my knees.  I WANT knees...and ankles instead of the dreaded "cankles".  I swear I look like like Fred Flintstone from the ankles down.

At 33, I want to start living.  I just hope it's not too late to accomplish all that I want to like have a husband and family some day.  My starting weight was ~340 and today I weighed 216.  I now have 86 more pounds to lose before hitting my goal weight of 130 pounds.  Wish me luck and I'll do the same for everyone out there! 

Altsweetest,

I am so impressed.  You have already lost 124 pounds.  That is just amazing!!! You are awesome.   You can have your dreams.  And you are running! I am so looking forward to that.

I hope you will hang around and help the rest of us follow your lead.  It is so doable to lose those pounds by summer...

Hi my name is ruth and im 24 years old. i weigh 315lbs. i cant stand to look at myself in the mirror. everytime i do i feel mental pain. i have been overweight almost all my life. alot of it because my parents made me depressed as a child and an adult. growing up all my mother cooked was greasy fatty foods. i never minded as a kid because i knew i would never have a man to love. now i am married to a wonderful husband. he says everything i want to hear even if it isnt the truth. one day i asked him how he felt about my weight problem. all he would say is probably the same as you. i replied that i hate myself, i feel and look huge, and im ugly with all this fat hanging on me. he said he wouldnt go that far. but he is a little unhappy with it. i know he loves me with all his heart. i just want him to tell me the truth from now on because i was lieing to myself saying "oh im not that big, he would tell me if i was" he was trying not to hurt my feelings. i want to lose weight so bad, but with out the funds im not sure how to these days. i want to be a mother, but with me being obese im not sure thats possible. i hate myself everyday. and i have no motivation for anything. any advice out there would be very helpful 

Well Ruth, I've been to the land of 300+ pounds and wholeheartedly understand your perdicament.  You have a major advantage in that you have a supportive husband and you are still very young with your entire life before you.  I only wish I knew then what I now know about how limiting weight problems can be when trying to live life to its fullest.  Take the 1-2 years now to lose weight and you can easily become a mother by the age of 26 and fulfill any other goal you have in a healthy body. 

The great thing about being that weight is that progress will be immediate when you start and the rapid weight loss will motivate you to lose the first 50 pounds.  Around 265, I hit a major plateau because I have been large all my life and thought if I increased my cardio, I might kill myself.  You may laugh but the thought of running paralyzed me until I saw how ruthless the trainers and treadmills were to fat folks on the "The Biggest Loser".  That visual helped.

Best of luck with your weight loss goals and keep us posted because we'd love to hear about your successes!

I'm scared to fly because I don't want to inconvience someone else.

I hate being intimate with my husband because what was once a rewarding and wonderful experience seems to be the same old thing, get it over as quickly as possible. 

My husband doesn't even want to think about having a baby with me at this weight (and I don't blame him).  And I want nothing more than to be a mother right now.  My biological clock is ticking out of control. 

OK, this is a long one, be warned...

I need to loose 121 lbs.

On October 9th, I had a series of TIA's, or mini strokes. I had over 15 of these strokes in a 24 hour period.  For a few terrifying hours, I didn't know if there was going to be another TIA, or if there was a next one, if it was going to be 'the big one', the one that caused permanent brain damage, or even death. 

By the grace of God, I fully recovered.

I have been overweight for almost 20 years, ever since I had my first child. I ended a bad relationship. I comforted myself with food then, and really, just never stopped.

Over the years I made excuses; too busy to exercise, not enough money to join a gym, not enough time to cook, let's get take out instead, I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable...

I rewarded myself with food. I ate if I was bored. I ate because it tasted good! I love junk food!!

It's not that I didn't know how to eat right. I have a biology degree. I've taken nutrition courses. It was just easier staying fat! Why set myself up for failure? It was going to be so hard, loosing weight. And over the years, I got heavier and heavier. And so did my husband (though not as bad as me). We reinforced each others' bad habits. We ate out together all the time. And recently, I started to notice some disconcerting changes. My back would be sore if I stayed in bed too long. Too long being anything over 6 or 7 hours. I'd wake up and feel crippled. My feet were always sore. When I woke up in the morning, it hurt to clench my hands. Sometimes, my ankle, knee or hip would hurt when I walked. I started having to get up to pee through the night. And then, this summer, my feet started to swell.

Just a little at first, so that I could talk myself out of the fact that there was a problem. And then a bit more, so that when I tried on sandles, damn, my ankles were swollen! But I put off going to the dr because I had vacation coming up and I didn't want what the dr had to say to interfere with the enjoyment of my vacation. The truth is, I was afraid of what she would say, I knew what she was going to say (loose weight), and I was embarrassed to go see her. But, I made an appointment. That was October 5. October 9th, I was having strokes. 

My blood pressure was sky high. My cholesterol was high (a low high, but high none-the-less). And, I weighed 256 lbs. I'm 5'4, and 41 years old.

Fear is a great motivator. The day I came home from the hospital, I threw out all the bad stuff from my fridge. Emptied my cabinets of fatty, salty snacks. I started keeping a food journal, and accounting for every morsel that passes my lips. I stopped salting my foods, and no longer eat processed foods (check your labels; our diets are horribley sodium laden!). Healthy food takes quite a bit more time to prepare than picking up take out! It's been a big adjustment.   

I have also started exercising every other day. Sometimes I walk (I was exhausted after only a few minutes the first few times, but tonight walked 4km and didn't have to stop coming up our steep hill), sometimes I use Wii Fit, sometimes I swim. I have gotten over my fear of someone I know seeing me in a bathing suit. My body won't look this way for much longer... I have changed my lifestyle! I'm going to get healthy for my family; I'm going to get on rides at Disney; I'm not going to worry if the belt on the airplane will fit (cause it's gonna); I'm not going to worry about parking far away from a store because it's not going to hurt to walk, and I won't get out of breath, and when I go camping next summer, it's not going to be hard for me to move around in our trailer's tiny bathroom!! 

This morning, I weighed 240lbs. Not bad, for one month's worth of lifestyle change. Wonder where I'll be in 6 month's time? I get excited just thinking about it!

sedrowilkerson,

Watch your sodium intake as well as calories. Two packets of soya sauce puts us over the daily recommended amount of sodium. Two packets! Amazing! Not only will sodium make us retain fluid, it's can lead to or aggravate high blood pressure, lead to hardening of the arteries and is hard on the kidneys. Almost all processed foods contain high amounts of sodium. The Canadian Heart Association recommends 1500mg a day. Let me tell you that this is almost impossible to attain! I know, I've been at it for a month now. 1 can of V8 juice has about 1000mg of sodium. 1 Tbsp of soya sauce is 1100mg. Basically, I am staying away from processed foods in general. Most of them aren't any good for you anyway.  

Welcome, wingnut.  It's awesome that you have made this decision - committment is the hardest part.

In terms of the sodium, I agree that it's hard to avoid unless you can prepare everything yourself.

Luckily, it's flushed out by water, so make sure you're drinking plenty of liquids.

Liabelle,

Have I said hello to you?  My memory is not the greatest.  Just wanted to say it is nice to meet you.

Wingnut,

It's so nice to meet you.  Knowing the information isn't the same as putting it into practice, is it?  I am an RN and should know better.

Welcome to our little group.  We can all walk down this road together.  Congrats on your weight loss.

I am a sodium-holic.  Cutting back has been so hard!!!!