Overweight Kids

Hi I have 2 kids, ages 3 and 5, and they are both overweight by the kids bmi charts. I am at the end of my rope. They've been overweight since they were 3-6 months old and stayed there till this day. I breastfed them and gave them the normal babyfood--nothing unhealthy as babies.

Todder age till present day:

We never eat fast food--I cook all the meals, and stay away from processed foods even in the home. Our staples are chicken breast, lean ground beef, whole grain bread and cereal, whole grain pasta, veggies, fruit. I don't even feed them mac n cheese, or ichiban soup or hotdogs or chicken nuggets, never have. I of course allow them to eat that stuff if it's a company picknic or something so they have had stuff like that occasionally. A few times a year we eat out at restaurants with the grandparents, so they have fries and chicken fingers then. My kids drink water or skim milk at home, juice is a treat at grandmas.

In the summer, I'm a stay at home mom--we spend 2-6 hours outside at parks, the beach, biking, hiking, etc, every day. In winter I do my best to get them to have 1 and a half hours of exercise per day, but do not always meet this goal if it's raining or blustery or something. They are limited to an hour of tv or computer per day.

My husband and I are of normal weight. I used to be 20 pounds overweight due to my late night junk food habit but I never let that affect what my kids eat. I'd say I don't know how we can be healthier unless we go organic.

I'm so discouraged, I'm thinking of hiring a dietitian. Any ideas on what I am doing wrong?

sokkies

Portion sizes? Either that or it's just baby fat and they'll grow out of it. Some kids just have a little padding til they go through puberty, or a couple of years before that.

Ya, it could be portion sizes. My kids do eat a lot. I'm working on giving them smaller portion sizes and trying to discourage seconds and extra snacks. I'm trying to figure out when they are actually hungry or just asking for food because they are bored. I always gave them as much as they wanted of healthy foods because I'd heard that that's what you are supposed to do. I guess that works for picky eaters that most kids are? /But maybe not for my kids?

Hubby's family says it's just genetics and body type from their side of the family. On the plus side, my kids eat so many veggies and such a large variety of healthy foods that they are rarely sick and when they do get a little cold it's mild and short. I have the healthiest kids I know. But I want to be careful with the "it's just genetics" card--I think it can be used as an excuse to give up.

I'm just so worried about them getting teased in school and having a bad body image, etc. I was always skinny as a kid but my sister was slightly chubby and went through hell with the teasing. 

I think I'm going to get a dietitian or nutritionist to help me out. My doctors' only comment has been, wow, those are some healthy looking kids. He's older, maybe old school and all the older people here comment on how healthy looking my kids are. I think it's a generational thing where chubbier kids were thought to be healthier in the past.

sokkies

If that's your kids in the photo, they honestly don't look that chubby to me. Maybe a little baby fat, but they certainly don't look unhealthy.

You're really lucky (and have probably worked hard!) to have kids who are good eaters and who like to eat a variety of healthy food. That's fantastic - such good eating habits will stand them in good stead for their health into the future.

I would be careful about discouraging those good habits, but yes asking them if they are really hungry might be a good idea, or visiting a dietician for advice to put your mind at rest. You can't really put young children on a diet, so much as monitoring their weight a little so that they grow faster than they put on weight.

Try not to worry too much - just because your sister was teased, doesn't mean your kids will be. The most important thing is to build their body confidence at home - telling them how great they look and never letting on that you're concerned about their bodies. If they know you worry about their weight, they'll start worrying about it too - I think you might be better off to just encourage their healthy eating habits for the time being.

Yes, those are my kiddos. My kids are natural eaters that have liked almost everything I ever gave them. I never had to encourage them to eat, as do most of my friends with their kids. Sometimes I feel like I'm in an alternate universe, while my friends are working their butts off trying to get their kids to eat something, I'm always (internally) monitoring portion sizes and questioning whether they are really hungry or just bored. I have worked really hard to keep their diet very healthy, hopefully the habits will stick as they get older.

I like your point about body confidence too.

sokkies

I wouldnt stress too much over this.  Your life style and habits sound just fine.  And from your profile pic it looks like you are outdoors a lot.

Just keep doing what you are and just keep an eye on portion sizes.  Remember that what you and your husband promote around eating habits makes a lasting impression on your beautiful daughters.  Just wondering how tall they are.  Maybe a growth spurt soon will level the baby chubbiness out b/c thats all it looks like to me. 

My oldest is 50% in height and 95% in weight. My youngest is 60% in height and off the charts for weight. It does look a bit worse on paper than in real life. My oldest is definitely a bit meatier than her peers but not Too different. My youngest is very different from her friends, but then again all her closest friends are very picky eaters and at the bottom of the percentiles in weight. I think portion size is the key--I want to make sure they do thin out as they have growth spurts. So far they've both been very consistent in their relative growth curves--They've stayed at these percentages since they were 6 months old. I hope it's just genetic baby fat to keep them healthy. My 3 year old is an exact replica of my hubby when he was that age and he's definitely not overweight as an adult.

Thanks for the support. I appreciate. :)

sokkies

Another thing to remember is that nowdays there are a lot more overweight kids than there used to be, so that might help with the teasing component.  I'm not saying your kids are overweight or that it's okay that kids are overweight, but at least ONE positive aspect of that is that teasing might not be as bad if overweight is more "normal."

My kids Are overweight, and it's not ok. It's somehow my fault, which kills me. I guess it must be portion sizes. I've seen friends' kids and they eat roughly one third to one half of what my kids eat. They are all given the same amount but the other kids just don't eat all of it and mine always do. I live in an area where most kids are normal weight, maybe one or two kids per class are overweight. I like the healthy lifestyle here, so I guess it's better than my kids "fitting in" with other overweight kids but picking up bad habits. I'm hoping to somehow fix the problem before they get old enough to be teased about appearance. I'm going to enlist a doctor or nutritionist to help me because obviously just feeding them healthy food and keeping them active is Not working.

sokkies

I just checked again on the weight/height charts and my 5 year old is in the 87th for weight and 50th for height. This has actually changed this year--she's always been 50th for height and 95th for weight, so I guess she's changing finally at age 5. I am very encouraged by this, maybe there is hope...

My almost 4 year old is still the same as always, 60th for height, 99th for weight. This has been her consistent growth curve since she was 6 months old. I guess she'll thin out eventually, especially if I'm more careful with portion sizes. If my youngest had been a boy, she would have been called stocky, solid, strong, built like a rugby player--her dad was built like that as a kid and he turned out to be great at rugby and swimming. I think it looks very cute but at the same time it is so worrying. Well, she's probably going to kindergarten next fall  and I think grade one is when they start with the teasing based on appearance, so we have 2 years to try to get the weight more normal.

sokkies

Sokkies:

I have one of each type of child you are describing. #1 eats an adult portion at 7 years old. He's above BMI for his height and age. #2 is a picky little guy and relatively normal, so I live in alternate universes in the same home! :)

You don't mention how candy is dealt with in your family. It doesn't sound like it from your description, but could some of the excess calories come from there?

I know that epidemiologically speaking, overweight kids have certain risks. At the same time, the statistics pick somewhat random cut-off points. To give you an idea, in asia, the BMI for healthy weight is 23, not 25. *moan*. not fair I know.So if your #2 is only mildly overweight and not obese, it may not be a real risk factor.

In my opinion, BMI is not the only indicator of health. Just like the dieters in this forum, we are encouraged to look for other signs of health - muscles, illness, happiness are also health indicators. I worry a little too about my #1, but I think that as long as my son is healthy, has healthy eating habits, and sufficiently active, I'll wait to see if the growth spurts of puberty won't take care of the problem. Also I don't want to give him cause for insecurity. Since I started calorie-counting he's been understandably curious and I can see he's become more self-conscious when it comes to eating and spouting off things like "That's calorific!" *grin*. With children, they learn what they see, so with your healthy habits as an example, your children have a high likelihood of doing the same as adults.

Thanks pinzywinzy,

Since my kids have been overweight since 6 months old, actually 3 months old for my youngest... I have understandably been a bit stingy with the candy and treats.  I'm pretty sure they get the extra calories from potatoes, chicken, eggs, peanut butter, bread, etc because they just eat so much.

I'm not so worried about my oldest now. She's only 1 pound over the "healthy" weight, and that can just be body type, genetics, bigger portion size and since she's going down in percentiles(not in weight though) I think she'll be fine. Also, my husband always looks a lot thinner than his BMI suggests, ie, his weight is higher than the average thin person, but he's still thin, due to loads of muscle and possibly heavy bones?

Hopefully my youngest will be fine too??

As for health, my kids are the healthiest kids I know. Clear glowing skin, they are barely ever sick, even if they get a cold occasionally it's always a short mild one. They are definitely blessed with a lot of muscle and seem pretty happy to me. I'm more worried about the emotional health than the physical.

sokkies

I really wouldn't worry about it.  Encouraging healthy foods and exercise at this age will be something that will last their entire lives, while a little bit of baby fat will not.

Some things that I want to mention:

• When do they have their growth spurts?  My youngest was, I think, 55th in height and 85th in weight at her last appointment, and I was very surprised, because you look at her and she's not pudgy in any way.  But in the next couple of weeks, she outgrew her clothes in a growth spurt.  So it may be that their growth spurts are routinely after the dr. visits.
• Continue asking if they are really hungry when they want to eat.  They are still a little young to really understand what that means, probably, so you may want to start having set snack and meal times, instead of on demand.  And distract them by doing something else if you think they aren't really hungry.  (this is a hard one in my family - the three year old wants to eat ALL the time)
• Give them a bit less than you think they will want, and serve it in/on small containers.  Beleive it or not, kids are like adults, and will naturally eat more if they are served more.  And are more satisfied with a full small bowl than a half-empty large bowl, even if it is the same portion size.
• Offer more vegetables than anything else.  Even "healthy" foods can be high in calories, and eating a larger portion of vegetables may help even things out.

Now that I've said this - know that I don't normally think of this advice through the day, though I should.  We have a lot to worry about, us moms, and healthy eating habits are a tip of the iceberg.  Good luck!

Original Post by sokkies:

Thanks pinzywinzy,

<snip>

Hopefully my youngest will be fine too??

As for health, my kids are the healthiest kids I know. Clear glowing skin, they are barely ever sick, even if they get a cold occasionally it's always a short mild one. They are definitely blessed with a lot of muscle and seem pretty happy to me. I'm more worried about the emotional health than the physical.

 

You're welcome :)

From the story of your oldest, it does seem likely that your youngest will be fine too. They both have your example of healthy eating, active living to follow.

Emotional health: a little tougher for girls, I suspect, than for my boys. Women have so many eating/body issues! But I think, again, that you are on the right track. Long term, I'd want my girl to have love herself and respect how her body is intended to work.

Candies & treats: I am super stingy! (LOL!) I used to be worse, but then I realised that their sense of deprivation was making them pretty desperate (lol again) when they did get some. So nowadays I'll still confiscate the endless goodie bags, which all go into the treat jar. Then I specify 'treat' times at at certain time of the day, when I know they're going to work it off in the playground any way. I'm not saying you should do this of course, just sharing mom-to-mom!

Your kids look absolutely 100% normal to me.  Please don't give them a complex about their bodies at such an early age, my mother did it to me and I have suffered a lifetime from it.  Just keep it in mind and tread very carefully is all i'm saying.

OP, you are doing great with the water, and ff milk! as for juice, you are good there too - it is generally not a good idea to get kids on a path of mindlessly drinking calories, when they can eat the same foods and get the same benefits.

My son was always about 50-60 for height and 95+ for weight and the doctors always said "he's a big boy!" and it used to irritate the crap out of me, cause it got him thinking being big is good, being small isnt. but it wasnt until my daughter was 15 for height and 5 for weight and they started with the "wow she is really tiny/failure to thrive" that calling my son good for being big REALLY got on my nerves. His relatives still do it... southern mentality... you can be dumb as dirt but if you are "big" (fat) you're the best.

Portion size is important also, I am having to teach my son this now, because i didn't when he was younger. I would give him a little bit more than I should of, encourage eat all your food, and if he wanted a second helping of bread, i would. Now, he is 11, still about half for height, close to the top for weight, but he doesn't look it at all.

You should also start serving the kids salad. Just a little bit, so they are aware this food item is available, always, and is a common item with say, dinner. I make my salads with all kinds of things in it, and I know my kids won't eat the radishes, but it comes in the salad anyway, and every now and then each of them with take a nibble of the radish, and set it aside like usual.

My son has always been big on bread, so spaghetti for example, I'll serve with salad and garlic bread. He almost always asks  only for more garlic bread. I am trying to teach him, yes some foods taste so good you want more, but you need to figure out if you are actually hungry or not. So i tell him, ok, would you like a tiny bit more salad and spaghetti also? About 90% of the time he says no, cause he is realizing he really isn't hungry, he just wants more bread because it tastes good.

Good :)

Original Post by bumpnme:

Your kids look absolutely 100% normal to me.  Please don't give them a complex about their bodies at such an early age, my mother did it to me and I have suffered a lifetime from it.  Just keep it in mind and tread very carefully is all i'm saying.

Ack, I know, I'm trying to give them a good body image. I hope I won't give them a complex.  That would be awful, I want them to love their bodies and feel good in their own skin. I always tell them they are pretty and beautiful and adorable and lovable(which they are). I'm trying to focus on loving my own body too so I can be a good example that way. Any ideas on what not to do?

sokkies

Will you stop worrying about their weight!!!!  Sometimes the percentile charts are guidelines only.  I have never once in 14 years of having children been told where my 3 kids fall on that chart.

Your daughters are perfect.  They are active, eat a healthy well balanced diet.  Sleep well, have no underlying medical conditions

Just raise your girls to love themselves and respect their bodies!!!

Well it is great that you are taking such good care of your children, you obviously love them dearly - i know the feeling.  Parenting is such a learn as you go thing isn't it?  I can be overzealous in the sensitivity department (especially around weight issues) as I'm sure lots of people here in this forum could be too - after all, we're all here for the same reason aren't we.  I think you're right on the money with what you're doing, feeding them the right portions of healthy foods, keeping them active and educating them about what's healthy and what isn't.  I really don't think you need any help at all, all I was trying to say with my post i guess is let your actions speak the loudest, which you are.  That way, your kids probably won't end up fat or with a complex because they have been taught the healthy way as a way of life and not brought up being told they're overweight or fat. I wish you the very best and given what you've already said,  i'm sure your children will grow up to be happy healthy adults.

bumpnme, yes, parenting really is so "learn as you go" and that's really hard because we all want to do things "right". I guess it's because we care so much about doing a good job but there is no manual. Thanks for letting me talk out my concerns, it actually helped to get it all out there, and I'm actually feeling a bit better about it all. All I can do is my best so I'll do that and try to relax and believe that the kids will be just fine. :)

sokkies

ON the percentile charts my almost 10 yr old is this

At 9 years and 11 months:

your child is 66 pounds, and that is
at the 32nd percentile for weight.

your child is 50.5 inches, and that is
at the 7th percentile for height.