Overwhelming advice

My friend keeps sending me emails about her recommendations for baby stuff.  They completely overwhelm me!  My problem is this.  She is telling me that I need to buy a $350 car seat, a $200 umbrella stroller, a high chair that is almost $300 and a crib mattress that was $400.  I see that there are other products much cheaper than what she is recommending. Her claim for everything is that it is the safest according to her research.  I want my baby to be safe, but I really have a hard time believing that I need a $350 car seat when so many kids survive in a $150 car seat.  And seriously, a $200 umbrella stroller?  Everyone else has told me that they loved their cheap $20 stroller.  What is everyone else's opinion on this? 

There is no need to spend so much. Go on ebay.

I suggest an umbrella stroller $20 or less and then a little nicer one like a Combi but they r not $200. Test the mattress yourself what feels good to you will be good and buy a good mattress cover...in high chairs I like the ones that have the multiple trays so u can lift it off and clean...lots of them have good safety options...on the high chair and stroller make sure you can break down or remove tray w/one hand...hope this helps!!!

I also have a friend who has always quizzed me and given advice on things...too much advice to the point that it stressed me out! And now that I've taken a break from working to stay at home with the baby, and our income is cut in HALF, we certainly can't afford all that she recommends. So I hear what you are saying.

I would suggest that you research the travel systems because they are really handy...more expensive than a car seat and a stroller, but pretty darn convenient. I ended up purchasing a $300+ one (Chico brand...I was still working when I bought it!) which I really like, but I don't think it was necessary. I am now pregnant with #2 and will probably just head to target/walmart to pick up what works. I will probably still buy new stuff, since I'm nervous about used things and safety. Oh, and there's also the website csnbaby.com where you can get stuff with free shipping...

About your friend, it's helped me to just kinda nod my head and take it all in, then I just do the best I can with what I've got!

I highly recommend going to www.consumerreports.org to do some research.  They break down the products by quite a few factors including safety and costs.  I think there's a $4 monthly membership fee, but it's easy to sign up and to stop the membership when you're done.

The library might also have back issues of Consumer Reports available to peruse.

I've used the Consumer Reports Web site when making expensive purchases and have been quite pleased with their recommendations.

Speaking of recommendations, if you're having a baby boy, then these are a fun splurge!!!! http://www.cheekybubs.co.nz/peepeeteepee.html

I rolled on the floor laughing when I saw these at a baby shower!

I agree with everyone else- theres NO need to splash the bucks needlessly! I had a travel system for my two (pram & car seat all-in-one) which saved money in the long term (no need for a pram and a seperate car seat), then when they outgrew the pram part I got a stroller which was about $60 that came with a hood, raincover, play-tray and shopping basket! I also was stuck for room regarding a highchair and got one that straps onto a regular kitchen chair, and can be 'boosted' so they can use it at the table when they're a little older. I'm not sure if they have them in the US but it was a great investment! As for mattresses- surely if they have a quality mark, then they're suitable for babies? If you want a 'special' one- like an allergy one, then I can understand they might cost a little more, but $400?!?! Thats a bit much! My cot AND mattress didn't cost that much!

Having had 3 kids, i guess the best advice i could give is- go new with the car seat- and good quality-that's the one thing you don't want to skimp on. Plus they come up with so many recalls, it is just safer to buy new. The other is the mattress/or crib. A good firm mattress, it doesn't need to be deep or cushy.  My son preferred to sleep in the Graco pack n play 90% of the time!  Don't let your friend stress you out.  Tell her you prefer the high end quality things to be given to you at your baby shower, that she will be throwing for you, right? hehehe

cause like OMG how did babies Ever survive just fine before without a 400 dollar mattress

lol

just pay no attention she may be jealous the focus is on you as a blooming pregnant lady, and cud be trying to feel important.

I'll echo everyone else: don't spend needlessly. I have found some of the things that work better are the less-expensive items.

There are some things that are worth the extra money. For example (as someone else suggested), a travel system was well worth the expense. For our first, we bought a less expensive system and our daughter LOATHED the car seat. There was hardly any padding and her head always slumped forward. When we were shopping for our son, we checked out the Consumer Reports website (free for researching infant car seats) and bought a Chicco that was the highest rated. Our son has no issues in it. It is awesome to be able to just take the car seat out of the car (baby and all!) and put it in the stroller.

I think that while it's nice to have the infant seat to carry, they are very HEAVY. I really debated about just purchasing a convertable car seat instead of the travel system. A convertable car seat would last quite some time (my 4-year-old still rides in one...and it cost us a whopping $89).

I certainly don't think you need to buy an expensive mattress or crib. Just make sure they're up to current standards. Our son sleeps on an $89 mattress in a $200 crib that is (gasp) a hand-me-down from his sister. He rides in a $179 car seat (which includes the cost of the base) and sits in a $59 high chair.

As you can see, I'm the type that can get carried away with giving advice. I try to keep my mouth shut but I really like to help out when I can. I can understand why she wants to dish out her opinion but she should realize that not everyone can spend that kind of money. Just let her know that you're looking for mid-level items, not high end. She should understand.

We love our $20 umbrella stroller. We currently can't find it :(

i treated my julia to a mclaren volo stroller b/c it was pink and she liked it (and it wieghs a whopping 8 pounds).  That was $.

For everything else-  no need to spend crazy money.  mattress was 89 bucks; high chair under 100, travel system was on the pricey side; about 200 but she loves it and it's taken a beating and still holding strong.  I got a neutral color to use for my next so it's getting a ton of use.  I have lots of beautiful clean hand me down clothes that are just TOO cute not to wear!!  basinett was a kolokraft at like $89.  Her crib was only 179, nothing fancy and it converts to a toddler bed.

I highly recommend consumer reports b/c it gives you options for lower priced items that are highly rated. 

Haha.... I'm hoping that one day when I have kids I can steal the sacks of baby clothes out of the attic that I wore when I was a bub, along with all my old childhood toys. Babies grow so fast, I think it's only worth investing in something if they can use it for a few years.

An advantage to the cheaper strollers - they're so much lighter! My friend has one of those heavy-duty strollers and it almost looks like an all-terrain vehicle, and weighs about the same.

Seriously there's no need to go and drop a mint on baby stuff.  We got a convertable crib that went from  bassinett with an insert, to crib, to day bed and then a twin headboard and footboard.  They were awesome.  I had the expensive double stroller.... it was a PAIN (and a waste of $250) and we ended up just favoring 2 lighter and simpler to set up umbrella strollers for our girls.

Car seats... We just did our research on what the ones in our price range were and picked the best of those.  Based on safety reports and other reviews from customers.

And ftr I've never spent over $100 for a carseat.

My other big waste was a changing table.  My oldest rolled and even with the waist strap it was really difficult keeping her in place.  After 1 near fall we just started using a changing pad on our bed or the floor and it was a lot easier.

Dont go crazy and spend a lot of money woman...my sis had 4 boys on a very very low budget. Im talking about hand me down strollers ok! point is, their strollers and cribs and such were the least of their worries, the danger was themselves!!! i might buy a car seat that has safety features, but nothing too extreme!

ask your friend to back off a little, she's not the one raising your child and dealing with all the costs! or maybe you suggest that she shuffle out the bucks  if its so essential!!!!!!

I really appreciate all the advice.  As one of my co-workers reminded me, there are plenty of people on limited incomes that buy the cheaper products and their babies come out just fine.  She also reminded me that all products must meet the minimum safety standard.  I just want to spend money wisely. 

You know, you don't have to read her emails. If it is stressing you out then you probably shouldn't even be reading her forced advice. I know she means well, but enough is enough! If she wants you to have all that fancy stuff, then maybe she should offer to buy it for you for your shower? Hmmm.. might work.

There is nothing wrong with Goodwill, Discount stores or anything like that. I go to a store called Bealls and I can get Tommy Hilfiger baby outfits for around 10-15 bucks. I can go in there with $30 and walk out with two to three outfits of high quality baby clothes. (The best is when I found a $130 dollar dress for $35! It was for my sisters wedding and it rocked!)

The one thing about discount stores or Goodwill stores, you have to have the time and patience to rummage through to find what you want. Ooh, check out Big Lots. They sometimes have the overstock, high end baby equiptment. I found an Even Flow infant carseat and base for $35 at one a few months back!

*edit: the one plus to a changing table is that you aren't bending and strainig your back. We just got a big changing pad and would plop it on the floor or bed after our son was born. Man, picking him up and puting him down it would hurt my back something awful! You could just get a little night table or dresser and put the changing pad on it, or if you have counter space in the bath room you can attach the pad there. That's what we did a few months back.  

I think I need to clarify.  I found the insistance that the only thing that would be safe for my baby was the absolute most expensive item.  I just needed reassurance that you don't need the $300 high chair for your baby to be safe.  Seems logical, but after reading the emails, I worried that I was being a cheapskate.   Everyone here has helped me realize you can be a good mom without spending thousands of dollars. 

After 3 kids and having my first when I was single & 20 I can garauntee that your child will be perfectly safe in cheaper brands.  If this weren't the case then Target & WalMart would be out of business!!!!  I didn't & couldn't spend a ton of money on baby products for any of my children & probablly wouldn't even if I could (except for that cool Orbit system that swivels!!  It's just neat!!  but $900..NO WAY!).  I am about to have my 4th & she will be sleeping  in the same cradle bought at Sears 11 years ago when I had her brother.  She will then go on to the same crib to toddler bed set that my mom bought for me with my 1st. 

So go cheaper but not incredibly cheap.  Take a look at the quality of the product in person.  That can tell you alot about wether or not you should buy it.  And, remember that part of the quality  of use in a product relies solely on your knowledge of operating it.  Ask yourself if you really NEED all the bells & whistles on these baby products too.  Some of the newer models of bouncy seats, strollers & entertainment centers make me dizzy with over stimulation with all the toys & gadets cluttering them.

Good luck!