Pap smears (maybe TMI)

Ok, I'm posting this here and not in health and support because I want advice from the people who mostly post here.

Ok... this is extremely embarassing and difficult for me to talk about but I gotta talk to someone and where better than on the internet? lol

I have endometreosis and PCOS. I have never had sexual intercourse (willingly). Me and my husband have tried everything but it's like there is a wall there. I haven't had a pap smear done since I was 17 years old. I've only had it done twice, but when I was in the hospital at 16 for abdomen pain I was probed by countless nurses. It hurts. Alot. It burns. Is it supposed to burn? It feels like someone has a lighter to my genitals while they're ripping it open. Q-tips to tampons to bigger... nothing FITS. Everything hurts.

When I had my first yeast infection (I didn't know what it was) the doctor did a swab test to see what it was, and that swab HURT SO BAD. And all it was was a long q-tip. I mean... wtf. :(

I want to have sex and be a normal girl but for some reason it's like mother nature doesn't want me to. :| Are fingers supposed to hurt? Can't even get my own pinky finger in without wanting to scream in pain. =/ I'm not exaggerating either. When I had my pap done at 17, I screamed. D: I was in pain for days down there after.

I've been having some problems and I've got a pap exam thingie next month and I'm terrified. Not of the procedure, I don't even feel awkward or anything, it's the pain I'm afraid of. I do get a bit mentally distressed when it's over but I do want it done because I'm afraid something could be wrong.

I'm pretty sure it's not normal to have SEVERE cramps after an orgasm (either from myself, husband or a DREAM) and then bleed after (sorry if TMI :().

I want to know if there is a way I can lessen the pain or make my insides freakin' relax and allow stuff to enter. I even tried to get drunk with my husband (was all very lol-worthy) but even then it didn't work. :/

I have told my doctor about all of this (except the cramps part cause I was afraid of having an exam done =/ I want an exam done but so scared...) and they tell me to see a therapist. Okay. So there is one sex therapist in all of rhode island and she charges $300 a session without health insurance (she also doesn't accept medicare... I don't have it, but that's what the woman on the phone said).

I'm wondering if it's PCOS related, Endometreosis related, or past trauma related. I've pretty much resolved the whole past incident but I guess it could still be there?

On top of all this I've lost my sex drive and I'm dying to get off the depo... but I have to have a pap done (and a physical) before I can switch. Argh.

Someone help me/give me advice. I don't know what to do. :(

Okay, I called Planned Parenthood again and they agreed to see me. This is my 3rd doctor dealing with this! Once again, she said "it was in my head" when concerning the pain. I had her examine me (from the outside) and she said I appear to have "vulvar vestibulitis syndrome". And then told me that there was no treatment or anything for it.

So I went home and looked it up, and what do you know!? There's treatment for it. I swear these doctors at these clinics are the ones that did poorly in medical school (no offense to anyone here... just the ones that I've seen so far D:).

I went back to my 2nd doctor and told her. She said the same thing, they have to treat the "underlying cause" and said I need to see a therapist. I tried not to get angry because I just read online that it's a PHYSICAL problem. The skin is red, the skin is inflammed! Argh!!! She also told me there are no treatments that she knows of for it. Now I have social anxiety and I'm not too great at talking, and I didn't wanna say that I knew more than her. So I left and now I need to find a new doctor. She also wouldn't give me anything to help with my pap smear next month. No anxiety meds, no pain killers, nothing. I suggested a local numbing, and she said she doesn't do that.  So I guess I got to find a doctor that does cause I read that they can do it. INSIDE me doesn't hurt, it's on the way in, the entire area of the entrance is very angry. =/

I'm very upset. I want to see my old OB/GYN that I had growing up, but I owe a huge medical bill with them and her visit is expensive ($75 for the visit and then whatever the tests costs). I can't find a specialist that does a sliding scale. I could easily pay for 1 visit, but I can't afford all the tests and multiple visits after that (which you know will happen).

Online suggests some stuff you can do at home which I already do naturally. I wash with a soap-free wash. I don't use clothing softners on my undies. I always wear cotton, at home I am always in sweatpants and the like. It doesn't hurt when I sit, or ride a bike or anything like that. It hurts if I touch the area (the pain is insane... there's no real way to describe it) or try to penetrate/have sex. We've tried water-based lube but it didn't help, he doesn't have a problem "getting in" the only thing that stops him from getting in is the insane pain I feel.

I'm pretty upset right now. I feel like I have no place to go unless I have alot of money. My husband and I are saving right now cause I'm going to school this year.

If I didn't have issues going on in my abdomen right now I would totally avoid having a pap smear (against my better judgement). I want to have one done for not only the most obvious of reasons but because something is not feeling ok inside.

I don't know what else to do. =/ I'm running out of free/sliding scale clinics to go to. >< Rhode Island isn't very big. My husband only gets 1 day off a week so it's all scheduled around that. I don't drive. My mother can take me but she doesn't know her way around outside the cities nearby. =/

When I was 11 I was having some issues in that area, and I went to see a specialist in Boston (I'm also from RI). They knocked me out for the exam...maybe because I was fairly young and they didn't want to disturb me?

Driving and money is probably going to be an issue..but I would say if you're going to look outside of Rhody (which is probably a good idea) look into Boston.

I hate to be terribly nosy but... why dont you drive?

(and I lied, I am just terribly nosy by nature!)

Original Post by drea99:

I hate to be terribly nosy but... why dont you drive?

 

(and I lied, I am just terribly nosy by nature!)

Panic attacks and anxiety don't mix well with driving. =/

there's definitely physical help for this problem. doctors don't respect women. they're douches. anyhoo, there are centers/doctors that deal with physical sexual problems. it's not all in your head, which is stupid-ass doctor code for i'm too dumb and lazy to even try to figure out how to treat you.

it will take a long time to fix this, but keep at it. btw, i thought at one point that i had that problem, so i researched it. i found a center in my area that dealth with this, and also these devices that basically look like different sized speculums (specula?), from small to large. once one works comfortably, you move up to the next size, until the largest one no longer hurts.

turns out i didn't need the center or the devices, but know there is real help out there.

Probably your hx and current dx are what is leading them to think this is more psychological or psychosomatic than physiological.  Keep looking...

Have you tried using a desentizing cream?  They have ones for men to delay erection or you might try using something like lanacaine (sp) that had a topical anesthetic in it. 

*hugs*  I'm so, so sorry that you can't get a doctor to listen to you.  There are treatments and things you can do about it, unfortunately it sound like you're going to have to keep "shopping" around for doctors.  And I understand how hard that is especially with anxiety.

I don't know if it'll help at all but here's a link to a positive, female bodied forum that could have some resource links or answers for you. http://community.livejournal.com/vaginapagina /

*more hugs*

Shameless bump!

Well I wanted to report on my adventures with OB/GYNs. I went back to the one I had when I was younger and she BELIEVED me! She examined me and said my skin was irritated, she gave me a (painful) pelvic exam and said everything was healthy and that I may have grown a new cyst. She wanted to try a pap smear, we even tried a spray of novacaine. For the record, IT BURNS! Now it's not like a burn like "it burns when I pee" it burns like... there is a massive fire. I couldn't even speak it was so painful. Once it went away it was numb of course, but unfortunately the problem runs deeper and well... can't spray it in there.

She gave me a (generic) tricyclic anti-depressant called Elatrol 10mg to take once a day and I have an appointment to see in her in December, she's going to try and fix me! She told me to experiment with my husband in ~3 months time, sooner if I want. She told me not to worry about my pap and that we will get to it once I'm better.

I wanted to hug her, lol.

I forgot to ask about the cramps after orgasming but I did get a bunch of other things answered. I cramp up after exercising too and she told me it was ok and I could continue to exercise. Yipee!

No more Depo either. =D

Thank you all for your support. :D

Dirktwolf: That link has answered so many questions for me, thanks alot! Site is pretty awesome.

Yay, Im so glad you found a more respectful doctor who believed you, and can maybe resolve this issue for you. Ive been lurking on this thread - havent written anything because I didnt have any helpful advice - but Im really happy for you.

This update has restored some of my faith in doctors.

I hope all goes well!

Yay!!! When I saw this thread was back on the front page I was hopin for a nice happy update :] I'm glad you're finally getting somewhere! :D

Fantastic. I'm so glad that you found a doctor that listened/believed you. :) There are so many people that never post an outcome/status update. I just wanted to say thanks for updating on the status of your problem. That's fantastic news!

poor thing. i have no advice bunny, just sympathy. wish i could help you.

I'm glad you found a good doctor, bunny. :)