Paranoid

Does anyone else feel like since they have lost alot of weight they have become more paranoid about their looks?

Reason I ask is because I remember being really happy and careless when I was bigger and now I'm a complete control freak and I am so paranoid about my looks, its tearing my relationship with me and my boyfriend apart, Its so bad I keep thinking I'm so terrible looking and he is going to find someone else, I keep accusing him of cheating on me because I think why would anyone want me in the state that I am in? yet when I was alot bigger I mean a UK size 16 I thought I was the bees knees I was so confident and happy and we were happy together but now I just make him miserable with my  constant need for reassurance and my nagging.

I thought for a while I had a eating disorder because I am absolutely obsessed with food I worry about it all the time, last night we fell out and almost broke up and I just binged the whole night, I know this is the last of my worries right now but some times I think that the problems I'm having and my obsession with food and my weight and my problems in my relationship are all related like its made me so insecure about myself that I'm now a paranoid wreck.

Does anyone have any suggestions what would help? I'm supposed to be seeing a counselor soon.

I'd ask.. how did you get smaller?  What kind of calores are you taking in and what kinds of foods?  It's quite possible to start out on weight-loss with good intentions but for it to slip quickly into being unhealthy or obsessive if you get it wrong.   When that happens, you have to take a step back and see what's going on.  Starving (intentionally or otherwise) for example, can exaggerate any depressive tendencies you may have.  And it also leads to bingeing.

I normally eat about 1300cals plus anything I've worked off so on a day that I'm just sitting at the computer all day I'll eat about 1300cals but if I go to the gym and burn another 300cals then I'll eat 1600cals.

I'd certainly suggest you stop trying to lose weight for a while and work on maintaining your weight.   Use the CC tools to work out what a good maintenance level would be for you.  If you don't already do so, get your increased calorie intake from healthy wholefoods and fruit & vegetables rather than too many heavily refined, processed, starchy or sugary foods.   Better nutrition can help lift your mood. 

And then discuss how you're feeling with your counsellor.  Best of luck

In the past when I have lost weight (and I am doing again by making a more permenant lifestyle change so it will stick) I did have the same thing going on to a lesser degree I think.  I wanted by husband to acknowlege all my work in a way that was meaningful somehow.  I didnt know what that was though and so I certainly couldn't tell him, therefore, I just became more and more frustrated.  And, yes, paranoid to a degree with thoughts about how he doesn't appreciate me or I must not be at the right weight yet and a number of other things.  I never did think about him cheating on me.

I do have a history of eating disorder and have been too far under 100lbs in the past and tend to get very focused on weight or exercise.  I am sometimes afraid of going overboad and also that my work isn't appreciated by the people close to me.  That of course is not healthy.  I have learned that I have to look at the theme of the emotion.  The theme is generally the problem and the accusations and actions are the symptoms.  It seems like your confidence in your relationship may be low.  If that is the source then what would you need to feel more confident.

Thats just a guess on my part.  A counselor can really help to get at those themes and develop a plan to address them.