why do parents do this??

Ok every time im like "i think i might not go running today" or "i feel to tired for the gym".

My parents look wierd at me like well you SHOULD be going to the gym. They are always saying you should go. at least get 30 mins in........

......its like they are really pushing me too go.....its basicly like they are saying your fat and you need to go to lose some weight. eurgh!?

what would you have them do?  discourage you from going to the gym?  just keep their mouths shut?  avert their eyes and not look at you?

somehow i suspect that your parents can't do anything right in your eyes.  don't worry; you'll be surprised how much smarter they are in ten years.

no its good that they encourage me to go....its just they seem to be pushing it a bit too far they seem overly enthusiastic too me.

Thats what made me think, is that their way of saying im chubby. Thats all i was trying to say, (if you get what i mean) im not slating them at all they are ace parents!? Its just making me feel this way thats all.

I know how you feel, I am the "heavier" of the children, my sis is 112 and I'm 125, not heavy at all!! Perfectly normal but I mentioned that I hadn't worked out in a couple days my dad looks at me and goes, "well, you better not let that go any longer" like if I keep skipping I'll be huge! I just pretended not to hear him but I was on stay-cation and my gym is my work gym, an hour away. When my sister gained a little weight, up to 120 omg, my dad told my mom my sister was getting fat and my mom agreed! Rude, other than that I love them but both are far too superficial.

So you're upset that your parents are telling you the same thing that activity guidelines do? :\

i remember when everything that came out of my dad's mouth sounded like criticism to me.  if he complimented someone else, i thought he was getting in a dig.  then i grew up and realized i'm not the centre of the universe (not even my dad's universe).

If you re 5'7" and 120 and your parents are pushing you to get to the gym.... I looked at your profile and you think you may have had an ED-maybe you are feeling like thay are worried you are going to chub up or something?

I can tell you you are by no means chubby and if anyone thinks that-it is their problem not yours. If you want to take a day off-take one. Being healthy and active and not overly worried about a couple of pounds is a positive mindset.

I know part of my wacked ideas about body image came from people in my own family who maybe meant well but said (say) things that made me feel insecure about my (rather curvy) body-so its good that you posted especially if you are looking for reassurance that you can take a day off and are not chubby!

Btw, I would kill for your butt.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

i remember when everything that came out of my dad's mouth sounded like criticism to me.  if he complimented someone else, i thought he was getting in a dig.  then i grew up and realized i'm not the centre of the universe (not even my dad's universe).

based on her stats, I'm pretty sure it's actually the parents who have problems...

That sounds like how my parents always say "You don't have to eat all of that if you don't want to..."  aka, "That's too much, you need to stop eating, you are fat."  Okay, maybe not the last part, but if I had been slim, they obviously wouldn't have said it.

Or, my mom who directly said:  "Wow, you can really tell the difference when you take a season off of track... maybe you should start up some other exercise."  And then belatedly tried to use that "let's exercise together, it'll be fun" trick that's supposed to get people to exercise without saying they're fat.  TOO LATE.  Not to mention she said it about 100 times.  "Why don't we __________  together?"  Once someone realizes that it means "you're fat" you can't use it anymore without it meaning that!

/rant.

Original Post by tealparadise:

based on her stats, I'm pretty sure it's actually the parents who have problems...

re-read her post.  they "look weird" at her?  "it's like they are saying your [sic] fat..."?    what have they actually said or done that's offensive?

"You should try to get in at least 30 minutes of exercise" is not an insult.  it's pretty-much a universal truth.

Ugh, I hate it when my parents do that. But, it's usually just a worry thing on their part. Most parents aren't trying to make their kids feel awful. My parents get all over my case when I don't exercise, they freak if I DO. They always want to know what I've eaten and repeatedly tell me that 30 minutes of exercise per day is good to be consistent with. It's hard for me not to take everything personally. I just try to nod and go with the flow. In the end though, I know what I'm doing and that it's healthy, and at the same time I'm letting them have their "babying" time in. Just don't worry too much about it. ;)

I think they may just be trying to support you. When I don't feel like going, I call my mom, knowing she'll tell me to go. After I go, I always feel better, and I'm happy that I called her to motivate me. It's probably not about you being fat or thin, it's about them wanting you to stick with *your* goals (which you obviously have since you are on this site) and be healthy!

my dad used to always criticize my weight so i always thought i was overweight. a few years ago i was visiting and my stepmother mentioned how my dads preference in women is super thin. epiphany! wished i had snapped to that years before.

he makes the same comments about my daughter. whats interesting is he would comment most when we were both heavily involved in gymnastics so were rather muscular.

i sent him some pix of her for fathers day and he commented on her weight - asked if she had lost any...well shes not competing anymore shes coaching now so of course shes lost weight.

now that i can put all this in perspective, it doesnt bother me, its just his uber slim ideal.

maybe your parents just have some distorted criteria. try to shake it off. easy to say, hard to do. but it sounds like your parents vision of your ideal weight is a tad skewed.

either that or they just want some alone time lol

Oh my goodness.

They're like motivating you to do something healthy and probably know that when you aren't able to motivate yourself, you may slowly get out of the routine and stop. Experienced people know...that is what happens.

You're fortunate to have that encouragement. I just have my friends around and, if anything, they encourage me to do things that are unhealthy. They're not bad friends, they're just not very aware of what's healthy.

When I was very thin (grew a lot of inches but didn't gain weight.. awkward teen phase :p) people made comments about me being "fat" ALL the time. they didn't actually mean it though, they were just being sarcastic BECAUSE i was thin. Even today, I still don't understand why people think it's OK to poke fun at a thin person like that.

Your perception might be off too... you are making assumptions about what your parents think about you. Maybe they notice that you're in a better mood after you workout and want you to be happy :) There are so many other reasons they might want you to exercise than the conclusion that you've jumped to. I find it hard to believe that they think you are fat, because you are far from it. when i first saw your profile pic, i thought you used a model's picture!!!!! Like another poster said, I would kill for your butt :D

Wow.  It sure sucks when your parents give a ****.

wowww you guys need to stop bashing her. have you bothered to even check out her profile? she is 5'7" 120 pounds and recovering from unhealthy eating habits. she is thin, and from her pictures, she is obviously fit. She can take a day off from running if she feels like it. show a little sympathy.

salmander, if you want to be taken seriously, get a new avatar.

nobody is saying she has to exercise.  i'm usually the first one to advocate taking recovery days, and i firmly believe that getting enough sleep is always more important than getting enough exercise.  what i'm challenging is her perception of what her parents are thinking.  mind-reading is always a bad idea.

pgeorgian, for your information, i wasn't referring to your post.. i was referring to some other people's more flippant comments.

so what if i chose that picture for my avatar? that's totally irrelevant to what we're discussing. But if you have to know, i think the olsens are pretty girls, and loved watching full house when i was young. geez, 'scuze me.

Original Post by salmander23:

pgeorgian, for your information, i wasn't referring to your post.. i was referring to some other people's more flippant comments.

Well if you're referring to me, please accept my most heartfelt apologies.  Of course I was being unreasonable. 

Original Post by salmander23:

so what if i chose that picture for my avatar? that's totally irrelevant to what we're discussing.

you must know that's a pretty loaded image.  especially around here.  i mean, the one twin (dunno which) is kind-of a pro-ana icon.  if that's an association you want to continue, obviously that's your choice, but it's going to affect how people perceive you.  when i use my hag avatar, it's because i want everyone to know i'm mean.  y'know?

I had parents who used to force me to eat vegetables when I was a child and growing up, I hated vegetables then and I really hate to eat them now .. in fact the only veggies I eat are potato's and carrots ... nothing else.

What I am trying to say is that although parents think they are doing good, sometimes they are not .. If I was left to eat Veggies in my own time when felt ready to eat them I would probably be eating several more now, my problem is now a mental problem to the extent that it makes me feel physically sick just having vegetables in my mouth.

Amazingly though this really hasn't effected my health, I am a little overweight (90Kg at 179cm hight, but this is coming down now with healthy eating and exercise), but the real problem is that I am missing out on all the combinations of dishes and flavours that veggies would bring to a diet.

Sometimes parents just need to give their children some space to grow up the way they want to grow up.

I would suggest to say to your parents that you are very happy with your health and fitness levels and that sometimes you really dont want to go to the gym and that the preassures they are bringing on you by forcing this is having a negative effect to the point that you are beggining to dislike going to the gym, and this is one thing that you dont want.