PARENTS: Teens and money and jobs

My daughter got her first job and is maintaining grades while working some serious hours, with weekends practically full-time paycheck. 

I occasionanally mention about banking some of the cash which Ive done lightly enough not to cause an issue.  Being a chronic saver though, its killing me watching her tear through the money.

I would really like to know others thoughts on this, especially your own experience with high schoolers working and what if any rules you set down. 

Ok, I know you said parents, BUT...I'm a teen with some insight :-)

getting a first job is really exciting, and having money to spend for the first time is, quite honestly, a lot of fun. once the novelty wears off, it should stop burning a hole in her pocket. also, make her pay for her own gas, and some of her own clothes, school supplies, whatever. this should show her that she should be more responsible, as her needs will depend on it. as for saving for the future, suggest that she put aside a certain amount from each check. explain to he about the astronomical costs of college, car insurance, etc. and tell her that you won't be able to help out after a certain point. after that, let her be the judge. she sounds like a bright girl, she should figure it out.

we had to buy all our own stuff (shampoo, clothes, razors, toothpaste, and so on), pay for all of our gas, pay all of our insurance, pay to get the car fixed, pay for our cell phones, pay everything.  that taught us how to save, but it sucked too.

best thing i could suggest is having a sit down convo and explain that she is doing an awesome job working and keeping her grades up but there are mega advantages for saving a little money every week.

I think I may be out of the "chronic saver" category and into the "obsessive saver" category. I opened my own retirement account when I graduated college and I put aside 10% of my paycheck for retirement and 10% of my paycheck for a "rainy day" high yield savings account.

I worked (not nearly as much as your daughter) as a teenager and I was expected to pay for my own gas, clothes, etc.

Maybe the most effective strategy would be to get her interested in money? I read David Bach's "Automatic Millionaire" and it really inspired me and got me thinking about money differently, but it's aimed a little older. I would try "The Motley Fool Investment Guide for Teens." I haven't read it, but I love their radio program and it looks like it covers a lot of the pitfalls teens run into with money. If she can start to see money as a tool that can help her out later, as well as a sort of game (okay, I admit I'm a nerd), she might learn to enjoy saving as much as she enjoys spending. Encourage her to open an ING savings account, and once she sees the interest start accumulating, she might be more inclined to save a bit more.   

When I got my first job about 2 years ago I had no car and no debit card, nothing. And that is the only reason I ever got my first car. I saved over $4000 in one summer. Maybe point this out to her. She may like to buy little things here and there but that Starbucks today or fancy whatever she buys that feels she absolutely needs isn't always worth it. It is hard not to want to buy everything i want but I learned to buy what i need first. I'd just sit her down and talk to her about how money is no laughing matter and she should start saving now if she wants a car, to not have to struggle through college. Show her gas prices and how much it money it takes to fill up a tank. I'd say show through example. But don't hound her about her money. My mom did that and it makes me so mad. My parents still are like the "guardians" of my bank account (haven't switched it to my name yet) and sometimes they will check it without my permission to see where I have been and how much i have spent. Then they make assumptions. Open her up a savings account and put a little away each paycheck. She may not like having total control but she'll love you for it later.

When my daughter was a teen, it was a nightmare getting her to save any money.  She's now 26 and is doing great but it was a difficult learning curve for her.  She was always so responsible with everything else except money.  Learning how to be responsible with money has finally sunk in though. 

My 16 year old son has his first job.  He's allowed to keep and spend 40% of what he earns.  60% has to stay in the bank to be invested.  He does not have a debit card.  He does not have a credit card.  I keep him to the old system of paying cash for what he wants.  He's been working since March and has saved enough to buy an x-box, a new electric guitar, clothes, shoes and all his entertainment money. 

I don't fish my children out of debt and I don't lend them money so they can get something sooner. 

Your daughter will be excited because for the first time in her life she has her own money to spend how she sees fit.  She must be made to realize that it comes with responsiblity too. 

Wow - what an eye opener!  Rsauvageot, I had a very similar experience and yeah, Im more obsessive then  chronic too.  I also did the same thing saving up which of course is my concern for my daughter.  Love the book ideas - already looking it up on Amazon and remembered my brother who was the one who set me up successfully for investing.

And yes, appreciate teens point of view to - focused on parents for direction but good to hear both sides.

Just sat down to talk and found it better to listen.  Her boyfriend and her work similar hours, same place, same wages.  He scratched the paint on his moms car this summer.  She told him he was paying for it, that it cost $1200 and if he didnt come up with the money by summer's end, he had to move in with his dad (alcoholic) in another city.  While he was unsuccessful finding work, the stepfather kept questioning why he hadnt moved out - it was ugly.

So now they both work and I just learned she is helping him pay the mother off, which I wondered about when learning they both got the same job if she might plan to do this.  Granted theyre only 16 together about a year. If it was anyone else, I would say bad bad idea despite the circumstance. 

The ironic thing is he is a giver and honestly I worried that my daughter was becoming a 'taker'.  He didnt have money but since day one he has basically worships her, doting on her, getting her drinks, cooking for her, always doing whatever she want, etc and she just eats it up- for a year now (I really figured he'd have 'cracked' by now).  He puts me to shame as a mom because he is so selfless with her so I actually find myself supporting her on this.  

I respect anyone who says this is a bad idea because I normally would but knowing them, there just a unique circumstance and Im glad to see when the tables turn, she is giving back to him in his situation.  She claims she wont regret it if they were to break up (and do people ever before the divorce LOL).  She's agreed during the rest of this (which should be though December) she will give me $20 for her bank because I think just the practice of it is the idea and that still $80 a month - a start.  Guess I was torn between my own control freak way of wanting her to deposit the whole thing and backing off because she is buying her 'wants' now. 

looks like i'm the odd teen out. I got my first part-time job a year ago (12 hours a week, so not much) and have saved £3000. Yet my parents and brothers all tease me for it!

I hate spending money :s

As far as I am concerned, being a teen not to long ago (I just turned 24) and my parents having me start working and understanding the value of money when I was 16, I can honestly say that even though I envied the kids whose parents gave them everything, I am better off now for what my parents did. As soon as I turned 16 I had to get a job, even before I got my drivers license, because they wouldn't pay for anything with the car (insurance, gas, maintenance, etc). And once I got a job they stopped getting me stuff, other than for my birthday and christmas and other essentials like food and some clothing every couple of years. But other then that, I was on my own, if I wanted to do something I had to pay for it, if I wanted to go somewhere I had to pay for it, if I wanted to get a game or something just for me I had to pay for it, if I wanted to go out to dinner with my friends I had to pay for it. They even made me get my own cell phone by saying I wasn't allowed to drive anywhere on my own without one. So this taught me to both be responsible with my money and use it wisely. Another thing they did which helped me with saving and planning is they paid my monthly bills for me every month, and I paid them one bulk sum once a year (in December, it taught me to save and gave them some extra spending money at christmas time). I have been working non stop since I was 16, all through college (20+ hours per week) and I was able to work and keep my grades up (I was in the top 10% of engineers at penn state in their honor's engineering program). Between balancing school, work, and sports (golfing and wrestling) in high school, and work and college I feel my parents have set me up to be pretty successful at this whole life thing.

So I am very grateful for what my parents did for me and put me through today for it has taught me to be very careful with my money, I was even able to buy a town house right out of college in a very expensive area (Baltimore-DC area) because my credit is great and because I was able to get a great job and understand the value of saving and planning ahead. I honestly don't think this would have been the case if my parents hadn't done what they done and taught me to work hard and plan ahead. At the time I hated it and I hated that everyone else got money their parents and was able to not work and still do more than I was able to, but now looking back at it I am glad my parents did what they did because I don't know anyone else that I graduated with from high school (and I graduated with 700 kids) that has been able to buy a house as early as me, and I definitely credit it to my parents and teaching me to work hard and save.

So my advice to you would be to not necessarily make her save but make her more independent (isn't that what teens always want anyways?) and pay her own way on more things. I did have a savings and checking account as well and my parents made me keep the little thing in the front for the first few years so I knew how to do it (I do it all online now, I think its called a ledger but cant remember), but that also helped and made me see what kind of money I had and how much was going out. Anyways that is my advice if you want to help your daughter see and understand the value of money more, it may seem harsh to not give your kids what they want/need, but, at least in my case, it has helped me greatly and I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for my parents.

I got my first job when I was 14. My parents had me pay for cellphone, car insurance, gas, and anything else I wanted. My mom also would give me a set amount to shop for clothes with and told me if I wanted to get anything more then that I would have to buy it. I got my own bank account and debit card. I got myself into plenty of trouble and learned some valuable lessons. What ever you do don't try to take control of her money. She needs to learn how to deal with her own money.

Encouraging her to save is probably the best thing you can do. Show her how money saved can grow over the years. Perhaps offering to match, up to a certain amount a month, what she saves would encourage her to save some more. Do some research for stratagies for teaching her how to deal with money.