Confession:  I am a restrained eater, you described me to a 'T'.   Thank you for the tips and I will try to employ them this season.   I was even avoiding going to family gatherings because of the restrained eater items that you mentioned here.   I may go and try the tips.

I am a restrained eater as well and am dreading the holidays because I'm so afraid of all the tempting holiday food.  I will be constantly surrounded by food (our vendors send in cookies, meat and cheese trays, etc.) at work and all the gatherings the holidays bring.  I am NOT worried about shopping, spending, decorating or anything other than falling off the wagon and gaining weight. 

Wow! What a great article, thanks for making me realizing I'm a restrained eater, you really and truly described me! lol. But this years going to be different, now that I know what I can do. Thanks!!!

I guess I would fall in the natural eater catagory, but remember being restrained in the past.  I think acceptance of who I am and where I am in life right now has allowed me to flip the switch in my thinking. Having lived in both worlds - I much prefer the natural!!!

This article was so timely!  I'm having my first festive gathering this weekend and I was beginning to worry about how I was going to handle it.  I generally let myself have a good time at a party, but then feel very guilty afterwards.  I am going to try these tips, especially not wasting calories on mediocre food that I don't really love. 

Another idea I try and keep in mind is to incorporate water throughout the night.  If I will be drinking alcohol, I try and balance each glass of wine with a glass of water in between.  It helps keep me hydrated (which is great to avoid a hangover the next day) and I still have a beverage in my hand.  This weekend I will be filling a pitcher with water and adding sliced lemons, limes and oranges to give it some flavour and make it look more festive.

 I'm a work in process so I think I'm not completely a restrained eater anymore because I had thought a couple of ideas you mention her, like taking a healthy dish to the next family gathering( e.g. Thanksgiving) and trying to stick to 1 or 2 drinks. Thank you for this Eye Opener Article!

I am working on becoming a natural eater!  

After reading your other articles on restrained eating, I stopped looking at food in the same way. In the past, I eliminated certain food groups from my diet to lose weight. Then, I would eventually binge eat the restricted foods.   Now, I eat all foods.   Nothing is forbidden.  I eat three meals per day, nothing in between, nothing after dinner.  (The only reason I don't eat after dinner is because I am breaking the habit of night time binge eating. It's just easier not to eat anything at night.  I am not physically hungry after dinner.  At night the only reason I eat is for emotional reasons.  And no amount of food has ever filled that void.)

On a normal day, I try to have dinner no later than 7:30 p.m.   If I am going to a party, I will save dinner until I arrive at the party (no matter how late).  I now eat at parties in front of other people and I eat what I need and like.  But, after the party, I am DONE.  No eating alone at home!  I have been doing this for the past 6 months.

I am not gaining weight, now.  My weight is stable.  In the past, my weight was a constant yo-yo.  

Thanks for your helpful tips.  I know this holiday season will come and go. The question is will I overeat and be unhealthy at the end of it?  I can choose to eat moderate amounts of the things I love and make adjustments for them just like natural eaters do.  If I view certain foods as "bad" I will set up the pass/fail mentality that got me into so much trouble.  

Fantastic, insightful article. My husband has bought a new outfit for me that will be under the tree on Christmas morning. My motivation is to look my best in it.

I am really trying to go the 'look my best ' route so I don't feel deprived. 

Every 2 weeks, I spend the $10 to get my nails done and it really makes me feel confident.

I have given up alcohol all together. I drink San Pelligrino water with lime. It keeps me hydrated and the sparkle feels special.

I will try to incorporate the natural eating tips into my holiday celebrations. Thanks !

I've learned that if I eat my favorite first before other food, then I really don't want the other food because I feel awesome that I've eaten my favorite food.  The "search" for 'food happiness' stops. :)

I'm a restrained eater as well - I didn't realize it till I read this article. I don't think I could ever be a natural eater.

Over the years I've managed to lose weight (and keep it off) because of the "restricting" I do.  It's a very controlled thing for me and I do it always.  People have commented to me that I never "cut loose" (sad in a way). 

To be completely honest I always feel a little deprived. There's always part of me that wants a bit more.  It may be just the taste I'm craving but I'm never totally satisfied.  I've learned to live with it and I'm even proud of myself for having learned such control.  Now that I've read this article though I realize what I do isn't "normal". Hmmm...

Great article, it explains so much.  I'm not alone on this one, which is good to know.  Shame is a brutal thing to carry around and of all the things I need to shed, that's the biggest one of all. That should be about a 200 lbs emotional dump, which sounds like a great way to have a much better holiday season!

This article made me realize that I used to be a natural eater; I used to be able to enjoy foods I liked at a party, not overindulge, and feel good the next day.  Ever since I put on weight from having my baby and am now working on losing it, I've turned into a restrained eater.  I'm constantly worried about what to eat or not eat, feel guilty when I do eat party foods, and want to give up if I do over indulge.  This article made me realize I need to get my head straight and get back into the natural eater mode.

I have always been a restrained eater - UNTIL now that is - and I used to fit that description to a T - and ultimately fail in my dieting because of it.  This time is different - I have learned to become a natural eater.  I recently came back from a cruise vacation.  I decided that while I was on vacation I was going to enjoy myself, not deprive myself. I had worked really hard and had lost 25 pounds before the vacation, and was worried about blowing it, I put those fears on the back burner.  I was going to enjoy myself but not over indulge and when that concept finally sunk in I think that is when I turned the corner and became the natural eater.  I ate what I wanted to but chose healthier options when the choice was available I didn't over indulge or over eat.  I walked a great deal and thoroughly enjoyed myself and never once felt deprived - I gained 1 pound - which I consider a complete SUCCESS.  Now I'm not afraid of being a natural eater knowing that it is easy to do.

I have been maintaining my goal weight for almost two years now. In the last four months I have managed to switch from being the restrained eater to the natural eater. Last night I was talking with my mother on the phone about an upcoming birthday gathering for my nephew. She was telling me what she planned to cook for the dinner. I was not worried as I would have been in the past. I knew I could eat something healthy before the party and then enjoy a small serving of my favorite pasta and a bit of carrot cake for dessert at the party and I would be fine. This was a major accomplishment for me. At another gathering last month I allowed myself to have two pieces of pumpkin pie without guilt! I adjusted my other meals that day and enjoyed my time with friends and family. 

It has taken years and years for me to get to this place of being able to eat healthy foods, maintain my weight and enjoy food around other people without feeling deprived and guilty. I look forward to this holiday season again. This article helped me clarify the process I had been working through and will give me conscious awareness of the new way being. Thank you!

I used to always get a little weary during the holidays because of all the food and drinks right in front of my face! About 18 months ago I started eating clean, following Tosca Reno's Eat-Clean Diet and last year was my easiest holiday EVER! I eat every 2-3 hours so I made sure to eat something before I went out so I already felt full and would have a glass of sparkling water with lemon at every party in my hand so I only had one free hand to shake hands, double fist a glass of wine or nibble on the most enticing foods. It helped a lot because I was always a binger and never a natural eater. Having your hands full limits binging on the foods available. Plus my change in eating habits because of the ECD has helped curb my carvings and I now consider myself a natural eater over a deprived eater or a binger! :)

i guess i never thought of myself as a restrained eater, until today! i always thought (and still do) that being so rigid and in control of how much food i ate was a major part of losing and eventually maintaining my weight. although, i do not have problem at holiday parties, i give myself permission then to relax just a little. my problem, when i am most restrained, is during "regular" days. after having 4 children, i have been mainly concerned with my "goal weight", hitting thatmagic number. i know better, but, i am still wondering when i get to that goal weight, will i suddenly have my epiphany, will i become a natural eater? i know that i am always a work in progress and reading this has really brought to light a good place to start. i am very happy and grateful that i took the time to read it. i also will be checking out the website, intuitiveeating.com. thank you!

"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."

I love this!!! Yum! Thanks... This was a great read.

I too, do the following at parties/gatherings with food, as a "natural eater": 

But, sometimes I do this at parties/gatherings with food: 

 Does this mean I am a "combination" of the two?

I spent more or less the past 23 years being a "natural eater".  Unfortunately, "natural" for me is eating a little too much, a little too often, and a little too high-calorie.  Combine this with a little too sedentary, and you get to morbid obesity, about 5 pounds a year gained.  I interspersed this with a few "diets" that usually failed within 2 or 3 weeks because I felt too deprived when I couldn't eat the foods I love.

So, this year I decided to change my lifestyle rather than go on a diet.  I would retrain myself to be a "naturally thin person" by moving more (consistently) and eating smaller portions (consistently) and restricting my "special treats" (like a second glass of wine, or a cup of ice cream, or a bag of Kettle chips -- special things that had become everyday).  The key words for me has been "consistent" and "good habits".  Basically, adopt the habits that I observe in all my naturally thin friends.

I now treat parties and holidays as "special treats" and allow myself to enjoy them as what they are -- "special".  I budget maintenance calories, and practice many of the great suggestions in this blog.  They never derail my overall plans the way they used to in my brief forays into "dieting".

My overall goal is to be a "natural eater" -- but I continue to work on re-defining my natural lifestyle to one that allows me to be at a healthy weight long term.

Original Post by: dkenworthy

I spent more or less the past 23 years being a "natural eater".  Unfortunately, "natural" for me is eating a little too much, a little too often, and a little too high-calorie.  Combine this with a little too sedentary, and you get to morbid obesity, about 5 pounds a year gained.  I interspersed this with a few "diets" that usually failed within 2 or 3 weeks because I felt too deprived when I couldn't eat the foods I love.

So, this year I decided to change my lifestyle rather than go on a diet.  I would retrain myself to be a "naturally thin person" by moving more (consistently) and eating smaller portions (consistently) and restricting my "special treats" (like a second glass of wine, or a cup of ice cream, or a bag of Kettle chips -- special things that had become everyday).  The key words for me has been "consistent" and "good habits".  Basically, adopt the habits that I observe in all my naturally thin friends.

I now treat parties and holidays as "special treats" and allow myself to enjoy them as what they are -- "special".  I budget maintenance calories, and practice many of the great suggestions in this blog.  They never derail my overall plans the way they used to in my brief forays into "dieting".

My overall goal is to be a "natural eater" -- but I continue to work on re-defining my natural lifestyle to one that allows me to be at a healthy weight long term.

I think DKENWORTHY's response is the most practical one I've seen so far. I too have that problem where if i restrict myself i wind up losing weight but it becoems difficult. I've currently tried the more "natural eater" way since weight watchers allows more food and to not deprive yourself. However Ive been yo-yo'ing within the 10lbs that i lose and even though I do follow it to a T this pattern hasnt changed. And also due to this my sugar(Im diabetic type 2) has been skyrocketing.

I believe we all want to do the natural eater diet and most of us do eat til we are "full" however one person's "full" isnt another person's "full" and even if it is it depends on the person's slower than normal "metabolism".

Therefore in practicality it doesnt work for everyone. If this was the case then we'd all be not having weight problems.

Thank you for this article! Excellent. I'm so glad to read something that emphasizes what TO do instead of what NOT to do. I noticed several "natural eater" things I already do, so now I know what to KEEP doing.

So many people think they have to change EVERYTHING they're doing to get different results, and that's usually not the case. Build a foundation of the good things you're already doing, and you'll have a comfortable starting point for changing what truly needs to be changed.

HEY... I am a natural eater... :) but some of the tips here really enforce a better thought process when you go to a party.

Thank you so much for this.  I am a restrained eater and have been for over 5 years.  I have lost and regained the same 20 pounds countless times and I am just tired of it!  I need a new outlook and I'm thinking this could be the answer.  Wish me luck! 

amjari: Have you read the book "Mindless Eating" by Brian Wansink, Ph.D.? I found a used copy online cheap. It is a great study of "Why We Eat More Than We Think" (the book's subtitle). It's also full of great tricks that help you train yourself to think correctly about the food you're eating.

I tried one of them on myself. Fully aware I was trying to trick myself, it still worked! I was at a party that had a buffet table. I used a small plate (dessert kind of plate) instead of a dinner-size plate, and found that I was completely satisfied and didn't even want to go back for seconds! And buffets had been one of my big pitfalls.

Other suggestions for buffets: don't sit near the food table, and do sit with your back to it; look at ALL the food before deciding what to put on your plate; only eat what you really like, rather than wasting calories on something just because it's on your plate; eat slowly, savoring each bite; when you're done eating, if there is still food on your plate, get it out of your sight lest you be tempted to mindlessly pick at it; sip water and wait 20 minutes before deciding whether to get seconds

Hi Everybody,

he way I see it, there are three basic kinds of eaters:

Natural eaters, restrained eaters and over-eaters.  It is based on a mindset, not on weight.

janicajn2 asks,

"But sometimes...I eat only a small amount of food at the gathering. Does this mean I am a "combination" of the two?"

Answer: It's all about the guilt, shame, discombobulation, and sadness it produces.  Restrained eaters feel it and natural eaters don't. 

I just wish I could be a natural eater!!

But I can't.. =[

It's so hard for me to not feel guilty after eating something sweet because I feel like I'd be a hyprocrite. I'd feel like one for eating healthy and telling people how to do the same, then to eat something ''unhealthy''??

Ugh... this sucks.

I love this post.  It helped to put it all in perspective for me.

I had never heard these terms before, but I'm in total agreement with the article and I was fascinated by the response it got.

I was always a healthy weight without really trying and didn't get fat until I was in my 40s.  At age 49, I decided that enough was enough.  I tried so many different kinds of restrictive diets but I couldn't stick to any of them long enough to lose any weight at all.  And I always felt guilty and that I was a failure.  Then in April of 08 I picked up one lf those magazines at the front of the grocery store line and read about one of their fad diets of the month.  But the one I read about really seemed easy and you didn't have to buy anything special to eat, so I came home and googled "no s diet" which sounds pretty gimmicky, but let me tell you, it's worked.  After a week I weighed and no big drop, but the next week I weighed and I was down 2#.  From the very beginning, I could see a one-pound drop every week.  This went on for about 15# and then it slowed but it didn't bother me.  I started weighing every day, because then I could track my progress easier.  I've had great success with this and I've told a few others and the ones that aren't looking for the quickest fastest weight loss have also stuck with it and it has worked for them.  I'm 5'10" so at 216# I wasn't what alot of people would call fat, but now I weigh 173# and they say WOW! WHAT have you been doing!  When I tell them I'm on the same diet that I told them about 18 mos ago and they laughed because it seemed silly, they want me to tell them about it again.  So now I'm the one laughing.  And I have no worries about gaining weight over the holidays.  If I don't lose a pound it won't matter, but I absolutely know I won't gain.  The website for the diet is NoSDiet.com and it's totally free.  There are products you can buy but you don't need to buy them to have success on this diet:  No Snacks, No Sweets, No Seconds (think portion control on this) except on Saturdays, Sundays and Special holidays.  That's the whole diet right there. 

p.s. My BMI now is in the "NORMAL" range.  I was clinically obese at 216.  YAY ME!!!!!!

Thank you. This is greatly helpful to me and I'm sure many other CCers out there!

Great article!

Hi Mary,

I get restrained eaters and natural eaters.  How is an overeater defined?

Thanks

Reading this I fall into the natural eater category I don't restrain myself from foods I love I just eat sensible.

What a great article. Thanks

Even though I have a few left to lose (about 8) I feel like a much more natural eater. When I started, restrained would have fit me to the T- but now I see more of me in the natural eater description. I am not worried about Thanksgiving in the least. Looking forward to it, and to giving the scale a 1 week break. I have not felt guilty in sooo long. I feel physically strong as well as mentally. I really hope others can follow that path in a couple weeks with me :)

This tips might be good, I wouldn't deny it, but when it comes to the practice, it's really difficult that a restrained eater (like me) can do all stuff as a natural eater does, at less not without a guilt  feeling....  So I think i preffer to take care of the portions of the delicious holliday foods, so I can  try a bit of everything particulary my favorite food......

Original Post by: kickinthehabit

Hi Mary,

 

I get restrained eaters and natural eaters.  How is an overeater defined?

 

Thanks

Hi,

I think of an "overeater" as someone who eats an excessive amount of food, eats junk, etc. but doesn't feel guilty.  The overeater may or may not be overweight now, but probably will be later.

Mary

Runyourlife:  Me too!  The only way I've been successful is thru restriction:  no sugar and no eating after dinner ... but aside from those rules, I can "let loose" at meals and eat 'til I'm satisfied.  I can't imagine eating ice cream/cookies and still being able to eat only until I was full; whenever I do it has led to a bad binge, guilt, etc.  Still not sure how to "loosen up".  No snacks, no sweets, no seconds is me ... can't imagine "except Sat., Sun., Special Occasions" b/c eating snacks, sweets, seconds any day would throw me into chaos!

Original Post by: runyourlife

I'm a restrained eater as well - I didn't realize it till I read this article. I don't think I could ever be a natural eater.

Over the years I've managed to lose weight (and keep it off) because of the "restricting" I do.  It's a very controlled thing for me and I do it always.  People have commented to me that I never "cut loose" (sad in a way). 

To be completely honest I always feel a little deprived. There's always part of me that wants a bit more.  It may be just the taste I'm craving but I'm never totally satisfied.  I've learned to live with it and I'm even proud of myself for having learned such control.  Now that I've read this article though I realize what I do isn't "normal". Hmmm...

Hey runyourlife.....don't feel bad.  Normal for you is what works for you.  Everyone's normal is their own.  The deal with dieting is finding what works for you.  You found what works for you, so be joyous about it.  It sounds like you have the eating part figured out, but are still working on the mental part. 

I too was feeling deprived, but I decided that it was the new normal for me, and that it was a good thing, not a bad thing.  I'd rather be a bit hungry than feel fat.  So now I call it feeling skinny rather than feeling deprived. 

One thing that helped me was to really look at my eat vs burn meters during the day.  I found that if eat was lower than burn, I was hungry, but if I kept them even, I was satisfied.  What a breakthrough that was for me.  I hope it helps you too.  But again, find what works for you and be happy with it.

I am also a restrained eater.  But there was a time in my life where I really didn't concern myself with food at all.  My goal is to trust my intuitive sense of hunger so that I can spend less time controlling and more time living life.

What a great post Mary! You zeroed in on the difficulty people who use restrictive methods to manage their weight have during the holidays - it is a literal mine-field of rules to break! You also illustrated the practical benefits of learning to eat instinctively again (YES, you CAN relearn how), not to mention the freedom and joy that comes with it.

Many people vacilate between restrained eating and overeating. I call this the eat-repent-repeat cycle.

When you break your restraint you think, "I already blew it, I might as well keep eating and go back on my diet tomorrow (or on New Years Day)." When you're eating what you love, you feel guilty, when you're eating what you should you may feel deprived so you develop a love-hate relationship with food.

Another way to look at this is that overeating is out of control; restrictive eating is in control; instinctive eating (what you called natural eating) is in charge. There is a huge difference between trying to "control" yourself all the time vs. making conscious decisions about when, what, and how much to eat.

I describe these four different eating patterns in the first chapter of my newest book, Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle - you can download it free at http://amihungry.com/eatwhatyoulovech1.pdf. I hope it helps!

I have some advice to add to help Restrained Eaters with parties, that might help you ease into the Natural Eater swing:

1.  Work out on the day of.  No matter what youf fitness ability, working out burns calories.  If you know you're going to eat pizza or cookies or pie or pork rinds copious amounts of turkey at night, put in a hard workout (for you) a few hours beforehand.  If you're religiously counting calories, you might even find that this burns enough that your "cheat night" holiday won't even really be a cheat night.  For example:  I do about 73 min of cardio a day and burn roughly 800 calories a go.  Then if I want to cook a nice three-course roast dinner for my husband and friends, and follow it up with a mixed drink and a couple shots, which happens once a fortnight, I can do so and only total 1600-1700 calories for the day when exercise is subtracted. 

Also, even if it doesn't burn enough to give you a decent deficit, the workout will fill you with lovely endorphins to ease the guilt associated with eating "forbidden" foods, or stress/social anxiety that might make you overeat.  Working out and then eating a tiny bit of protein right afterward can actually decrease your appetite in the evening so you won't be tempted to binge a few hours later.  Plus I don't know about anyone else, but a good hard workout makes me crave foods that are healthier for me.  I don't want sugar; I want vegetables and meat.  

2.  If you must drink, drink smart.  Drinking hard liquor but don't want to be hung over?  Go online and learn how to make a few drinks mixed with fruit juice.  Yes, these drinks are still a lot of calories, but the fruit juice will keep you hydrated even as you get tossed.  Also, to avoid the drunken munchies, spread your eating out over the whole night, in little portions.  For every drink you down, have a little plate with fruit or nuts or cold cuts to absorb the alcohol so it's not hitting your stomach like a bomb.  Try to avoid getting drunk with beer, if at all possible, since most people have to drink quite a few beers to achieve this effect.  My husband and I have a favorite mixed drink recipe which is half booze, half fruit juice that gets us tossed, doesn't taste like strong alcohol, and is 400 calories.  It makes a full glass' worth, tastes best when you sip it, and doesn't leave you hung over at all. 

3.  Indulgence can actually be good for the waistline.  If you've been on a diet for quite some time (5 months for me), remind yourself that a cheat day on an occasion as rare as a party is perfectly okay.  In fact, unless you have an eating disorder, a cheat day every once in a while will remind your body that it doesn't need to stay in starvation mode and this will keep your metabolism from slowing down. 

Original Post by: lawpphd1

Runyourlife:  Me too!  The only way I've been successful is thru restriction:  no sugar and no eating after dinner ... but aside from those rules, I can "let loose" at meals and eat 'til I'm satisfied.  I can't imagine eating ice cream/cookies and still being able to eat only until I was full; whenever I do it has led to a bad binge, guilt, etc.  Still not sure how to "loosen up".  No snacks, no sweets, no seconds is me ... can't imagine "except Sat., Sun., Special Occasions" b/c eating snacks, sweets, seconds any day would throw me into chaos!

Law,  the way it still works is like this:  when I first started No S-ing, I would make a pan of brownies every Saturday morning and eat them all weekend.  My husband was alive and he ate some, but I ate most of them.  If any were left on Monday morning I either made my husband take them to work, or I made myself throw them in the trash and take the trash to the garbage can.  I can't have sweets in the house during the week or I will slip up.  Skipping meals or not eating ENOUGH is also a big no-no on this diet.  It sets me up for failure.  Being able to eat the same things my family did on the weekdays helped, and made it so much easier to live because my husband didn't need to diet. Only having ONE serving of anything on my plate and only having one plate to eat from meant that I soon learned what stayed with me and what had too many empty calories.  Even fried potatoes and pan gravy has a serving amount.  lol  I don't binge anymore, ever.  That need just went away somwhere along my diet path.  The knowledge on Wednesday that in two more days I can have a dessert, or half a pizza or whatever made it possible for me to keep my willpower up.  I lost weight because I gave up the Fourth Meal and I still do crave that.  Sometimes on weekends I eat whatever and whenever I want.  Some weekends I sleep late and don't eat 3 meals a day like I did the rest of the week.

All we have to do to lose a pound a week is give up 500 calories a day.  I'm sure that because I go to Jazzercise almost every day that the calories I burn during class make up for what extra I can eat in the two days I don't worry about it.  Most weekends after eating stuff I don't usually indulge in I'm ready for Monday and getting back on my No S.

Thanksgiving is a Special Day, so I'll indulge.  But on the day after, I will not.  The pie that is left over on Thursday will just have to tempt me until Saturday.  I will not blow off my diet until the next Monday.  And even when I'm overindulging, I keep the thought in the back of my head that 3500 calories makes a pound of fat.  I have to use common sense and I know how many calories are in everything I eat and I eat more whole foods and vegetables and fruits than I ever have before.  I don't put any processed packages of foods in my grocery cart before I do the math on the label.  How many servings in the package times how many calories in a serving.  Because if I slip and eat the whole thing, I want to minimize the damage. 

I still want to lose about 15 more pounds to be back to what I weighed in high school.  But what is the hurry?  I've gone from size 20 to size 12 jeans and I don't care if it takes another year to lose the other 15 pounds.  As long as I am headed downward on the scale, I'm happy for even one pound a MONTH loss at this point.  I know I'll weigh less next year at this time.  And I will have enjoyed every meal I eat between now and then.  People have stopped laughing at my 'silly diet' because... it works.

excellent advice. thanks.

i thrive on regulations and boundaries. Thats why I dont drink. If I am not regulating what I eat, and looking after myself, I dont feel right. I can behave sensibly at an event, but it was the alone time that really gets me. But now that is under reigns. I just don't make certain things and option, because i have more important things to eat.

Mary, oklahomaquilter, and all:  Thank you for your posts!  Wow, I really have a new perspective.  Instead of working toward losing the weight, I should work toward feeling satisfied when I eat and EVEN (it's weird to type it out) toward eating desserts and enjoying a special meal w/o worrying? I don't know ... it'll mean that my happiness will come from feeling that "satisfied full feeling" rather than from not going over my calorie alotment.  It's gonna take some adjusting but I know the "satisfied full feeling" some of you have described.  I still can't imagine eating brownies over the weekend and being happy eating and feeling satisfied w/2 pieces of pie ... I'm looking forward to working on it.

Mary, what do you think of the idea that some of us have a hypersensitivity to sugar?  I know that eating any kind of sugar really throws me off.  After I eat a sweet (could be one cookie) I lose my ability to eat until I'm satisfied.  I've read that sugar, white flour, pasta, and other foods can act like triggers and even toxins in some of us, are those ideas all bunk?  It seems like restricting sugar, as I have, certainly plays into the "restrictive eater" syndrome you described.

For lawpphd1:

Re: that "satisfied full feeling”:
The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor.... Chinese Proverb

“Satisfied” is not the same as “full”; physical satisfaction (satiety) is not the same as psychological satisfaction (happiness).  Eat "until you are satisfied" does not necessarily mean 2 pieces of pie.  It means stopping when you are sated but not uncomfortable, (around 7.5 on the hunger/fullness scale or 75% full.) However, if you want to eat 2 pieces of pie to get to 7.5, then be my guest.  You probably won't have room for other foods at that sitting, but that’s up to you.

Re: hypersensitivity to sugar:
Read this past Blog, “Addicted to Sugar”.  Sugar addiction can be produced in lab rats, but rat studies cannot be applied to humans - at this time.  And so, sugar addiction might exist, but one cookie won’t throw you into a physical addiction - that would be a psychological addiction (i.e. surrendering your personal power to the cookie). 

To learn more:
Read Michelle May’s Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle (read her comment on this page). You can download her book for free at ttp://amihungry.com/eatwhatyoulovech1.pdf. 
Intuitive Eating by Tribole and Resch is a classic on the topic.

Thanks for reading and commenting. 

Thank you, Mary, for your wonderful Forum.

Thanks Mary and Everybody,  I'm reading through Mary's recommended reading now.  It's great and so helpful.  And for lunch I thought about what I wanted and tried a small sweet w/a glass of skim milk BEFORE I ate the rest.  Amazing.  I really enjoyed the sweet and didn't want any more and don't feel guilty (truly not something I've ever experienced).  This is great!  Working on getting to 7 to 7.5 w/each meal.