Have you ever passed someone up because you thought they were too good for you?

I have regrets about the whole situation but I keep saying to myself it didn't mean to be. am I right? 

what is your experience? did you have any regrets?

No.  I love a bargain.

I never really analyzed people that way.  It was more along the lines as to whether we shared the same interests and a reasonably similar background - more compatability than a scale of "goodness".

No.  I'm a helluva catch for anybody.

Um. No. There is certainly a very different mindset between us.

no. if you go in feeling that way, i dont see how it could work anyways.

No. What makes anyone "too good" for anyone else? Nothing... we're all just people. The only case where I would say someone was "too good" for their partner was when the partner was abusive or manipulating or otherwise being a d*ckhead.

Aim high your worth it. Is it to good in a bad way. What is your definition of too good?

Its all about morals and what you want out of life. If he doesn't want the same as you then its not worth your time.

Safina,

You are too damn hard on yourself period! What makes someone too good for you?

You can't change what is in the past.  Haha we'd all make ourselves sick thinking of all the little changes we could make.  But don't do this ever ever again in the future.

Someone likes you+you like them= then go for it!!!!

I do it constantly.  Not just in romantic situations, but anytime I meet someone.   I feel like a lot of people are too good for me and I would just be a nuisance or a burden....and then of course I regret it later.   Its a really difficult process to try and make yourself believe that you are just as good as everyone else.  

You can't take responsibility for someone else's feelings.  If he loves you in spite of your flaws - dang, that is what love is all about.  If you push people away for that reason, you will never know what real love is.  The only "love" you will know is what ever you have manipulated into being.  That is just as bad as trying to make someone love us when clearly they dont.

Original Post by madamq:

You can't take responsibility for someone else's feelings.  If he loves you in spite of your flaws - dang, that is what love is all about.  If you push people away for that reason, you will never know what real love is.  The only "love" you will know is what ever you have manipulated into being.  That is just as bad as trying to make someone love us when clearly they dont.

This, times 394575849.

To really love someone you have to truly love yourself first. If you are empty inside then you have nothing to give to another person. These might sound like cliches, but they are absolutely right.

thanks guys. I think non of you was/is  obese/ or fat.

tortoisewins & merylwhite1, what makes someone too good for me?  I think I am talking here about the physical appearance. please don't forget that I am overweight.

madamq: could you explain more? what do you mean by " The only "love" you will know is what ever you have manipulated into being"? I really don't like to be loved as an " overweight woman". I have this mindset and it is difficult for me to  change it.hotrebeccainmesa: I am not really empty inside. I just understand that men need more than just that. the exterior does matter, right?

One relationship, I left him because I thought he could do better. I was on anti depressants (for pain - though they effected my mood which caused me to give them up) and thought that he worried to much about me and I didn't deserve it. I've always been the type to worry about my friends over myself and the fact that someone worried about me because I was in pain was to much for me... that twisted not-quite-over feeling between us led us down a road of betryal and cruelty to ourselves and others and was an all around bad situation... I regret not being more open with him about how I was feeling, but it was for the better as I later found out.

I've gotten better since then. In my current relationship, I feel like my boyfriend could do better if he wanted to, but he loves me and I love him. I'm working on improving my self esteem. As well, this weight loss journey is in part to better myself for him.

I've never actually passed someone up over it though. I think no one's 'to good' to be your friend. Just complicates relationships when your self esteme is iffy...

Original Post by safina1:

thanks guys. I think non of you was/is  obese/ or fat.

tortoisewins & merylwhite1, what makes someone too good for me?  I think I am talking here about the physical appearance. please don't forget that I am overweight. 

 BULL.

No one is too good for you because you're OVER WEIGHT. You're trying to be healthy aren't you? You're making good decisions for your body, and attempting to exercise and eat right in order to lose the weight that you deem unhealthy, correct?

Then no, no one is 'too good' for you. Maybe more fit than you are, more physically attractive to the masses...but not 'too good'.

Stop telling yourself you're unattractive.

That in itself is unattractive :P

safina, you are being very hard on yourself.  Being overweight does not make you less of a person. You are worthy of being loved - you have to believe that.

You deserve to be with someone that meets your expectations.  Don't lower your standards because you're feeling bad about yourself.

I've read many of your posts. You sound like a wonderful person.  You should love yourself, have confidence, hold you head up and smile.  Eventually the right person will notice you.  Take care ; )

I know so many extremely attractive women that are overweight, and have no trouble at all attracting guys. I think you're being wayyyy too hard on yourself!

Even though the exterior matters to an extent, personality is what seals the deal. From the posts I've read of yours, you seem like an intelligent, sweet girl. I don't see why anyone would be too good for you, but you need to be the one to believe that! Find some confidence in yourself, and realize your self worth!

Guys, I think yall are missing the point. Physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship. It simply is, whether it's fair or not. Typically you choose someone who you think is pretty comparable to you in attractiveness. I'm not saying this is always true, but I think it holds true a lot of the time. So for Safina, she might be intimidated by a guy with a really hott body. She might think she's out of his league physically. 

And go ahead and flame me for saying this, but a guy with a great body will probably want a girl with a great figure as well. I know that the more in shape I become, the more interested I become in guys with great bodies.

And to answer the OP's original question: yes, I have passed up on someone that I thought was too good for me. I've gotten much better with this, though :)

Original Post by jcl76:

Guys, I think yall are missing the point. Physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship. It simply is, whether it's fair or not. Typically you choose someone who you think is pretty comparable to you in attractiveness. I'm not saying this is always true, but I think it holds true a lot of the time. So for Safina, she might be intimidated by a guy with a really hott body. She might think she's out of his league physically. 

And go ahead and flame me for saying this, but a guy with a great body will probably want a girl with a great figure as well. I know that the more in shape I become, the more interested I become in guys with great bodies.

And to answer the OP's original question: yes, I have passed up on someone that I thought was too good for me. I've gotten much better with this, though :)

 Agree. With your whole post.

Original Post by jcl76:

Guys, I think yall are missing the point. Physical attraction is a huge part of a relationship. It simply is, whether it's fair or not. Typically you choose someone who you think is pretty comparable to you in attractiveness. I'm not saying this is always true, but I think it holds true a lot of the time. So for Safina, she might be intimidated by a guy with a really hott body. She might think she's out of his league physically. 

And go ahead and flame me for saying this, but a guy with a great body will probably want a girl with a great figure as well. I know that the more in shape I become, the more interested I become in guys with great bodies.

And to answer the OP's original question: yes, I have passed up on someone that I thought was too good for me. I've gotten much better with this, though :)

yes, I was intimitated. Yes, I know it was too good to be true and it hurts very much to realize that. If you have any ideas on how to feel better after a situation like that, please share.